Morning MB folk!

So I had my session with the Harleys yesterday which I thoroughly enjoyed! What wonderful people.

Dr Harley had his chat with me before the show, he had done all the research on my situation and knew everything in depth!

Dr Harley said that I had got myself in a trap that I needed to get out of. He said he was counselling a couple in a very similar situation but they were married, but separated. He said it was the same pattern of abuse and control and that the husband had to learn to be kind and not use abusive tactics to control the situation.

He asked about how I came out of the Plan B. I told him how I had let him back in without meeting any of my conditions and that we have spent the last 12 weeks together. I told Dr Harley that during that time there had not been one angry outburst, not a single argument and that BF was making it clear that there was no other woman around. Dr Harley was very positive about this and said well he has met 2 conditions of your Plan B letter. So that’s positive!

He said now your need to address the third thing which is the alchohol. Dr Harley has A LOT of experience with this as you know and explained the single thing you can do for This guy is to get him to stop drinking for his health and he needs to stop. That I need to offer him help to stand by his side and do that.

He also advised that I need to treat him with kindness and respect and have courage.

That in need to tell BF that I love him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him and have an alchohol free relationship. He said get to this point first before anything else.

He also told me that I need to learn to express my emotions in a positive way.

If he doesn’t want to give up the alchohol then move into Plan B and move forward with a legal separation.

So I am really taken a back. I have also learnt that I am really negative thinker and that I should have taken on board the changes he has been making.

Still a long way to go and now I have to find the right time to have that conversation when it all fell apart this week.

Last edited by Coolbeginnings; 06/27/20 02:24 AM.