Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
BFs ambivalence about the relationship is causing me worry.

The fact that when everything was going well a few weeks ago and then he went cold and avoided me.

He openly admitted it at the lunch yesterday when I mentioned it, that he shouldn’t need space in a relationship. Then he is openly questioning his feelings for me.
You don't really know what he meant by his statement, and you don't really know why he went cold. You do know, however, that he drinks too much and makes terrible decisions. You should try and let those incidents drop. Stop focusing on them. It doesn't really mater how he felt yesterday or a few weeks ago; what matters is how he will feel about you quite soon.

Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
I am sticking to the plan, but sometimes feel like saying I want to be with someone who is sure about me? Maybe have some time on your own to figure this out.
If you stick to the plan, you WILL be with someone who is sure about you. You will identify and eliminate love busters, and you will help him stop drinking, be a good parent and live in a happy home (in a happy marriage).

Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
I just don’t feel positive about discussions yesterday, maybe it’s my negative thinking.

Plan B was so effective, I had never seen him make so much effort with me when we reconciled. Now I feel like I have been a but desperate and pushy.
This IS negative thinking, and you are very wrong. You were not in the least desperate. It is arguable that you were pushy - and pushy is good! We want you to be pushy. You stood up for what you need from him, and you are giving him the chance to identify what he needs from you. He can be a good husband and father, but only if he stops drinking, and stops his hurtful behaviour (and the two are largely connected).


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.