Originally Posted by SugarCane
Ditto about not wanting that to define me. I left school at 17, then went to night classes, then to university aged 20, then professional study. Long before I came across Harley I made a decision to put my horrible upbringing behind me, model my wife-hood and motherhood on the friends that I admire, and to learn better behaviour from wherever I saw it, even if it was from TV programmes. It took years to learn not to shout at the kids and not to be generally just horrible at home, but I practiced it and learned it, and my adult kids both still live at home (London house prices - although my daughter had just bought a flat and is in the process of moving out) and they get on with me really well. I craved security in having a proper home, to the extent that we've been married and lived in the same house for 32 years. I sought security in other ways, too; always having a large amount of money saved, good pensions and so on.

That is a lot of similarities. So funny about the house - the family house that I live in is where I want the children to grow up, I never want to move! Also money security is so important. I started a paper round at 12, had jobs through to when I left for Uni at 18 and then went onto win a successful graduate position in London. So I am pretty much financially independant. Again, I always knew I seemed a bit different from many friends around me and then probably had a big change in my late 20s / 30s about the person I wanted to be. I looked around for inspiration from friends, did a lot of boundary work (read that Cloud & Townsend book) and definetly became a better person.

BF has been contacting me lots throughout the day. This makes me so happy. We met again after school and did the school run together. We bumped into a few of our friends. We did bump into one girl who had previously made a derogatory comment to BF after she found out about the affair, and they had a huge argument in the street. BF saw her today and made a comment to me, and I did say that the lady had a very bad time with a similar personal experience. I wanted to say - well thats what happens when you have affairs, people look on it poorly. I didn't though as I know I shouldn't mention it.

We went for a drink after school then BF suggested we all go for dinner together. I mentioned that I already had dinner plans, so wouldn't be able to join them. He looked a bit disappointed, then sent me short text complaining about the lack of 'smart clothes' for DS and asking me to drop some more clothes round for the kids on my way out. He use to get very jealous when I went out with my girlfriends, but I didn't know he would ask me to dinner and didn't want to be sat home alone all weekend. Also, I did notice that BF was drinking mineral water at the pub - usually on a friday its a few G&Ts. This is good.

BF and the children are all going out on the boat overnight tomorrow, this makes me so sad as this is my favourite thing to do with my family.

As things are going so well, I am feeling pretty good and enjoying this feeling for awhile.