I'm sorry to hear this, CB. However, you must know that this wasn't the wasn't the first time he drank.

We were always worried about how you would know he was keeping straight if you didn't live together. However, I always believed, from my dealing with an affair that was impossible to track, that one day there would be a slip-up and the truth would be revealed, and here it is. He has probably cut down, and looked and felt a lot better as you reported, but he never cut it out altogether.

According to the plan that Dr Harley gave you, you need to no ask him to go into AA or rehab. He had the chance to do it his way and failed, and now, if he wants marriage with you, he needs to do it your way. You need to put this to him in a way that does not sound angry or demanding - even though it is a demand, in the sense that there will be consequences if he refuses your request.

Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.