Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
Thanks Sugar Cane. I knew it really deep down. I think the irritability has been a real sign he is struggling with keeping it hidden. He is currently in a lot of pain and I think he will have to have surgery. Need to find the right time to tell him.

The fact that he refused to go to AA/rehab meant that this was always going to happen eventually. Addicts have to be in a ditch before they are willing to get help. This might be the wake-up call he needs. It is a pity you were not firmer with him about this.

Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
One thing I could do with help on with your experience of emotional needs. I did speak to BF today about how I have been feeling about lack of love....it probably didn’t come out the ideal way but I did not sound angry or demanding.

No sense in addressing emotional needs until he is sober. That has to come first. Make it clear that this is the ONLY option you will support. If he is still reluctant, you will have to make it even clearer by telling him that not doing AA/rehab means the end of the relationship. Drawing your line in the sand will save his life.

3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)