Yesterday I started off the conversation asking him about the previous weekend and how upsetting I found it him just disappearing me. He said that I was getting angry with the children and made a couple of digs at him about that day and got annoyed about it. Completely unfounded and untrue. He made a very blase statement about my sons poor diet and how he needs to eat better. Internally I was very annoyed about this statement as I feed the children very well day in and day out, and I calmly said to BF, I find that statement a bit upsetting as I feed our son very well.

I can see now that he just gets completely irritable and I could be the perfect person in everyway and he would still find fault.

We actually had an open honest chat about the relationship and I got some of my comments across. I told him that I would not have any drugs in the house and that i am concerned he is doing drugs and then also lying to me about it.

I told him that I love him very much but I am concerned about his drinking and his moods when he is not drinking, and that I would like him to go and talk to someone. He got very defensive and angry, and said that he was most definetly not an alchoholic and that other people drink way more than him. That he only drinks at weekends and doesn't drink like my sister blah blah blah. That he cant believe that the closest person to him would say something so awful and that if i want to carry on with my American clap trap that was fine but he was having nothing to do with it. This was all yesterday morning. So I gave him the rest of the day to take it in. I asked him about the blackouts and the sickness and he flat out denied any of that had happened.

He is still in the house and I am going to wait for him to leave, then call him and tell him that unless he seeks help the relationship is unlikely to continue.

I don't want to say that to him when he is in the house as the kids are here and worried about him causing a scene.

This is HARD.