Suppose there are 2 candy machines.
Machine 1 always produces a candy. Every single time. Then it breaks. No more candy. Ever.
The other machine, you have a candy machine where you put your coins in and sometimes you get candy, but other times it gets stuck. Most of the time the stuck item will come out if you pound on the machine a few times, sometimes 100 times, but eventually the machine will spit out your candy.

Now think creatively. You put your money in one of the machines. Nothing happens. Which machine will get pounded on the most?
Exactly.

Every time we cave to abusive peoples tactics, after being strong for longer periods of time, we teach people to persevere, because we will cave eventually.

You are doing great. Remember, he will give up for some time - possibly while spending time pursuing other (love) interests. Then, when you just think you are done, which can leave a person also feeling lonely and unwanted, even when the relationship was less than ideal. At that time, when you feel he has lost interest, wham, he will be back to do some more pounding. It can even be weeks, months or years, having nothing to do makes these people come back for more. Who knows, it may pay off this time.

Most people who are somewhat more on the side of using people to their advantage, have fine antennas when to be nice for a bit when they have gone too far, or what buttons to press to get the relationship moving along again.

Beware, it is hard not to fall for the songs of the syrenes, when you are feeling lonely and somewhat nostalgic. Taking up new activities and interacting with sound families and friends, helps immunize you from the crumbs that he may have for you at this time.


Last edited by happyheart; 01/10/21 03:04 PM.

me, DH
all the children