Wow it’s been a whole week since I posted here...lol.

Things have been good, life in our house is very peaceful and calm and the children seem so much happier. My DS looks happier and healthier than ever and we laugh all the time !
That constant pressure when BF was around, of having to please him in every way has gone. I have even got some of my sense of humour back and have started to reconnect with friends.

I am also handling the children so much better in regards to the separation. I am handling the drop off and pick ups better to make it less stressful for the kids and also dealing with any questions they have for me. I am making sure the kids are reassured that when they are with Daddy Mummy wants to have fun and enjoy that time. They did go through a phase of blaming me for the split saying things such as you threw him out and Daddy didn’t cheat but i can deal with this better now. I am not sure what he is saying to them.

The anger has subsided slightly and made way for a great sense of sadness. Mainly about how he has treated us and how our separation affects the future. I have spent a lot of time reflecting on our relationship and how abysmal it has been and how the kids and I deserve so much more .

I found BF so confusing and still can’t make any sense at all why we are in this position. When he cheated on me last year I just thought that he had grass is greener syndrome and I always knew in my heart that once reality sets in he would be back. Now I just think he went off me and wanted to have his freedom but why did he not just move on instead of coming back? It’s too confusing to figure out.

His activity from going very quiet has picked up again . I had the kids at the weekend and he randomly turned up at the house with some of the kids stuff. I hid indoors and the kids answered the door. I also got a message from IM asking if BF could come over and taken DS out for football practice, I declined and said more than welcome to do that in his time with children. He also liked one of my Strava runs about 230am
In the morning. I have now blocked him from there too.



Last edited by Coolbeginnings; 02/01/21 03:06 PM.