Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
I was thinking of contacting him via IM proposing an agreement for custody, bills and period to stay in house. The reality is I would like the children to be settled here for a couple of years whilst they get use to things. The mortgage is huge so although I could contribute I won’t be able to afford it.


You need to take the initiative so that the unknown becomes the known. Then you will no longer be scared.

Do not negotiate through the IM, that is not what IMs are for. If you go the mediation route, it needs to be face to face. First get legal advice and a full list of your requirements. Always ask for a bit more than you are prepared to settle for so that he feels he has won. If the house is too expensive for you on your own, it will have to go. If you want a two year window, ask for it. Start to make a plan so that after lockdown you are ready.

3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)