Thanks Living Well.

So today I get message from DS on his ipod saying - Mum can I please stay longer at Dads house pretty please.

I responded - Hi Darling its great news that you want to stay at Dads house, however I have made plans so would like to stick to the schedule please. From now on no more messing Dad round saying you don't want to go. See you at 330pm.

I am really keen this time that a regular schedule is stuck too. Last time I think I was too flexible on changing it, whereas this time for the childrens sake its important we have set timings. Also, I don't want DS or BF to think that they can change the schedule as they see fit. I know BF if you give him an inch he will take a mile.

I think BF is also (quite rightly) annoyed because DS has not wanted to go to his house, and DS dropped in conversation on Monday that Dad is not happy about the timings and wants to change them (threat to be passed onto me). I think this threat was because DS has not wanted to go.

I have found a really good female solicitor, one of the top in family law in the area. I had an initial chat with her yesterday but she feels from what I have outlined to her BF would be highly unlikely to get more custody. I have been very open with her about concerns around drugs, anger and alchohol too. I also explained that BF on paper is the pillar of society (football coach/school governor/charity fund raiser/owner of large company), she said she is very use to dealing with the kind of characters and that more often it is usually these types of people who use this as a cover for poor behaviour elsewhere. She sounds right up my street! She said that she thinks I just need a bit of reassurance and be ready to press the button if required.

I am also a bit concerned about BFs angry outbursts around the children. DS told me that on Saturday when he arrived at BFs house, BF got very angry with him and dragged him up the stairs and pushed him into the room he had done up for him. Shouting at him saying look at what I have done for you, why didnt you want to come and stay? DS told me that he banged his head against wall and DD said that BF pushed him on the bed. Also in the week, he drove to BF office with kids in the car and started shouting at some individuals very aggressively. So while in many ways it is good BF is panicking it also means his angry outbursts are increasing. Will see what the solicitor says.