MORTARMAN
Thanks for the post from REDON..but I do have a question..assuming that the A is over with her and the OM, can she still be in the FOG?? I hope that is not a stupid question.. I would rthink it is since she still doesnot makes sense.
Yesterday when she dropped off the girls, she was upset at me. My mother had been visting with me for a while but went to a different province (I'm in Canada)to visit her sister. so the girls were with me alone! She started at me saying she did not know what I was telling the girls about
her..thinking I was bashing and saying mean things about her. When I assured her I was praising her at any opportunity I was smiling.. she went nuts!!! I went on to tell her that if she wanted an example, I would explain.. told her one the girls said I could cook better meals than her mom. I explained to my D that mom does make real good meals and does her best!! well. she stormed out of the house and into the car and sped away..I think she was hoping for me to argue back but I did not...
Not sure why she is so concerned that I am speaking good of her!! can she be bashing me?? is she feeling sorry or guilty of something? It seems she is trying to cover up or justify something.
I will continue going dark until she seems like she is showing some signs of being normal. Have to stop those leaks in the the love bank and watch the show...

LUPOLADY
I hope I am making the right decision on the house. The girls do need a stable place.. that is why my wife also wants the house!! I have to stick to my guns and show her that I am strong (although she thinks that I keeping it for spite!)
I know that she is watching me, the other night when i brought up her thing with the OM, she said there you go again with your fantasy," It's over with him"... she went on to say that I was no further ahead then when she told me I.D.L.Y.A!!
She would not accept that I am indeed further ahead!! almost that she wants me to beg! Nottttt a chance. AGGGH!!! with all this , what us she trying to tell me??? does she want to see me being miserable..pining for her.. Is she seeing me getting further ahead then her and scared??
I know that she is watching me..that is why I am trying to be the best I can be.. especially for the girls!! Since the smack in the side of the head with the ebony 2X4, from good ole Mortarman, there can be no talk of RAT MEAT!!! so by not talking about him may also show I'm moving on..
I know that she needs a safe, happy place is she was to come home. I can give her safe and happy, but their will have to be an awful lt of expalining and building of trust on her side...
I'll continue to show her the best H and dad for the girls.
Thanks for the six months thing..she has only been physically gone for a month but she as your H will look back eventually and realize what they had and what they gave up to have to jump the fence.
On the thing about finding someone else..I did meet a real nice woman on Friday night..danced and talked for a while..thats all.. but you are right .. it is wrong, I am still married!! Just have her as a friend!! wait for my WW to come out of the FOG!! But it was nice to laugh and see a warm smile as I held her waltzing! Lets see waht this week brings with my WW...again the goal is to be the best MM, sit back and watch the show!!
ANNIE
Thanks for posting, its always no nice to see someone who cares and wants to see a good outcome..I am glad to see that your WH came back.. I hope everthing works out as I sure they will. I have to stop talking about her and RAT MEAT!!! change thr thoughts.. it is just a major LB..lether feel the guilt( altough she has told me she feels no shame for what happened between them). It's upward and building a relationship with God...Iknow he will not let me down.. I pray that his will be done!!
Thanks to you all... hope my post made sense!
I

MORTARMAN
Got a call from my WW this morning...she says that she has found a house that she wants to buy!! so we are meeting for lunch to discuss the final splitting of the assets..She is bing very calm and says that she just wants everything over with so she can get on with her life...
Looks like this is going to be the strat of the end.. Should I take this as her coming out of the FOG and for me to accept that it is over..the other day she said that I dont look any different then I did to her in January!!
I will now have to start a new life away from her.. make the house a place for me and the girls.
accept that my marriage is over and move upward.
I know that I continue to sound defetest.. but she would not be sopending all this money if she did not mean business..
This is a time when I really need sound advise...do I accept that it is over or keep working on myself with the hopes that she may come back some day???

MM it's one thing to divide assets and another to end the M for good. If you can ACT business like and not talk about the M, she won't feel like you are trying to control her (which you are not anyway). I suggest that you use Orchid's reverse babble on her, in which if she tells you that she want things to be done quickly to move on with her life, you tell her exactly the same. She, like most WS, always have the firm beleif that they can come back to the BS anytime she wants, BUT if you do the reverse babble, this beleif will be severely shaken to the core. So consider using it on her.

I don't know about the fog, but she is still in withdrawal. I really think her getting upset when you are treating her well is a good sign. She is noticing, and it bugs the heck out of her that you are not acting in a way that would justify her behavior.

<small>[ June 02, 2003, 10:04 AM: Message edited by: johnh39 ]</small>

MM,

Things have been and will continue for awhile, to move in this direction.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Got a call from my WW this morning...she says that she has found a house that she wants to buy!! so we are meeting for lunch to discuss the final splitting of the assets..She is being very calm and says that she just wants everything over with so she can get on with her life... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Okay. This is as predicted. She isnt done running away yet. There will be more of this before this is over.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Looks like this is going to be the start of the end.. Should I take this as her coming out of the FOG and for me to accept that it is over..the other day she said that I dont look any different then I did to her in January!! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Let me see...since none of us have a crystal ball, I am not sure anyone knows the definitive answer on what your wife is going to do. But there is a pattern here and she seems to be following it. And most of the time, this pattern does not lead to divorce. But that will all be up to you. My wife was doing all sorts of things financially, etc. to distance herself from me after she moved out. Where is she now?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I will now have to start a new life away from her..</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">True. And it will be this way for awhile. But remember, my wife started the affair in September 2001, I came home from Bosnia in April 2002, she moved out August 2002, and she moved back home April 2003. Roughly 18 months start to finish.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> make the house a place for me and the girls.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The girls are a good place to start. You are the only sane one here...they need you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> accept that my marriage is over and move upward.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, your old marriage is definitely over. I am just not convinced yet that you and your wife are through yet. I still believe the last chapter has yet to be written.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I know that I continue to sound defetest.. but she would not be spending all this money if she did not mean business..</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She wouldnt have had an affair if she didnt mean business. She wouldnt have moved out if she didnt mean business. she means business...no one is denying that. But her judgement and decisions are all based on a fantasy world. Reality will come back to haunt her. Until then, count on her "knowing" what she wants to do.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is a time when I really need sound advise...do I accept that it is over or keep working on myself with the hopes that she may come back some day??? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Work on yourself, whether she comes back or not. If she doesnt, at least you will be ready for whomever God brings to you. You want to give up? Then give up. You have every right to. But, if you still want your marriage..then I doubt it is time to put up the white flag.

In His arms.

TOO MUCH COFFEE
Had lunch to discuss the dividing of the assets.. went okay with a few hickups..she wants a bunch more stuff fro the house..dining room table/tv/vcr/deep freeze ect.. all thi sstuff can be repalaced!! but still pi**ed me off a little..
She still thinks I am unstable and that have not gotten over her..I actually have not been better since she called the marriage off.. NowI have to start the reverse bable on her.. tried that afetr I got out of the hospital and it worked .. since then I have on a few occassions spoke of reconciliation.. I even mentioned oit at dinner... ( dont hit me MORTAR with the 2x4)..
She is buying a small house for her and the girls.. a 2 bedroom..and step down a few notches from our house..
I will keep trying the reverse bable whenever I can..
JOHN39
Will continue to try to be nice to her.. eventhough she is looking for more stuff and seems to really want out!! she will notice I'm sure!!
MORTARMAN
I know that this may turn out to be a very long process and will try to hang on as long as I can!!
This patten of WS is trying on the ole nerves..Not sure how this is going to come back to haunt her.. since she feels she is doing the right thing.. however I am confused that she is buying as small house as she is and in a depressed area!!
what do you mean by " counting on her knowing what she wants to do???"
Thanks my friend..the war is escalating..but I will try my hardest to focus on Baghdad..
You got that right about her distancing herself in every way possible... it's just that this is so D**m frustarting!!
She has assured me that the A is over and that she is not seeing anyone now.. The A as she says has bveen over for a few months.. that is not the issue.. the main thing here is that she wants to move on and nothing esle.. she says stick with that issue...forget about the rest and stop living in a fantasy!!!
I

<small>[ June 02, 2003, 12:20 PM: Message edited by: marathonman ]</small>

Marthonman,

You and I are in a similar spot except my W is actually talking divorce over separation, and continues to see her OM, so take it from me, it could be MUCH worse for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

That being said, I still say she is in the fog. The one statement that rang really true that I recently heard as well is "I just want to get on with my life." When you think about that statement, it's doesn't make much sense, really. Right now, a separation of things isn't going to really CHANGE her life. Just like a divorce won't change that for my W. I think it's something in the fog that a WS says to use as an excuse for their actions. "Why I am doing this? Well, this is what I need to get on with my life! I am doing something with my life now!"

The shock will be when they get all they ask for and see that nothing really has changed at all.

The concept brought up above is an interesting one as well. I'd actually be interested to hear from Mortarman on this one. The idea that TMCM expressed on just telling her what she wants to hear. Mirror her back. I considered this approach for a while as well and even used it, but I didn't see any results (at least, not yet). My counselor says that this is playing games, and if you act like you are happy to go along with her it's not your true self, that you need to be honest about your emotions and what you want, not act like you are happy with what she is asking.

Then again though, I could also see how some WS's may be shaken out of the fog when the resistance stops. Either that, or you just end up a with, quiet divorce (which is what I was afraid might happen to me using this technique). Now, I am considering taking a more firm approach.

But I would see what some of your good advisors have to tell you on that approach though. They are 2 very different concepts, really, strong ideas, so it's a tough call.

ALS

MM,

My wife said all the same things. Even was not seeing the Om for a little while as she got her life together, as she put it. Got her own apartment, set up new financial accounts, etc. kept telling me OM wasnt the issue. She told me all the time that she knew that OM probably wasnt the one (and then would turn around and go see his family, etc in an attempt to build the relationship). She told me all the time that the OM wasnt the issue, that she just couldnt be with me anymore. Even at its worse (go back to my posts last October/November/December, she was telling and showing me it was over. But, in my talks since she has come home, it was exactly these times that she began to take a good hard look at me. As was posted above, she was watching me. Sure she was again spending a lot of time with the OM and "acting" married with him. Sure she went to Florida to meet his family over Christmas. But she said all this time, she had this feeling inside that was building that she really wanted to come home. No one knew about it. Not until months later. She fought it all the time.

The point continues to be is that she is running from herself...and God. eventaully, she will tire from that. If during that, as she watches you, she begins to see a different perception of you and a life with you, then she will feel that maybe she doesnt have to run anymore.

You did good in your talk with her. Stand up for yourself (do not be a doormat!). Dont let her take everything. In dividing the assets, divide as if this is forever. When she comes back, if she comes back, she'll bring it all back anyway. But if she doesnt, what is yours is gone forever.

Stay in a modified Plan B for now. Go dark. When discussing legal/kid issues, make it short and sweet. I wouldnt even do it over a meal. Make it very business like for now. Like you have somewhere better to be. She has talked about how she thinks you havent changed since January. Oh, my wife said that too...right up until she said she wanted to come home, that she had seen my changes In the world of the Fog, actions only matter...words mean nothing. So, keep doing what you have to do and she will notice. For awhile, your changes and darkness will make her angry. When it does, just know it is working. People do not get angry or fight over that which they dont care about! The time to call it quits is when she just disappears, and says nothing to you again. Until then, take her anger and her fights as she still is not out of the ballgame yet

Time for you to take control of this situation. You do so by going dark, fix your world. Ignore her Fog. keep moving forward. It is that strength and determination that will begin to build respect in her. And once she starts respecting you again, love cannot be far behind.

In His arms.

ALOSTSOUL
Sorry to here about her talking the big D..but yu are right.. must be all Fog talk.. nothing will change for them.. i will try TMCM approach..I will have no peroblemgetting under her skin with something like that.. it will make her think!
Good luck with you wife.. Mine has not talked about divorce but it may not be far once she is in her own place and things settled.
MORTARMAN
Both your wife and my wife are showing sooooo much of the same characteristics...
Is the fact that she wants to buy this house not a sign that it is over.. it is a big commitment for her to take this on instead of being in an apartment?
She is watching me..the last few days she has kept saying that I have not chaged and that I am still pining for her!!ahs not seen any difference in me..she is also holding my stint in thehospital against me.. IT WAS TWO DAYS!! she thought I should have been kept there for a few weeks at least.. the doc said I was fine.. even after a meeting last week.. but she still feels she is the expert!!Maybe she was no expecting me to be over her and is trying to justify some how that I am not!!
I will continue to go dark..stand up for myself..
Being in the house by myself will be a drain.. but as long as I can I will try to manage.. worse case I will sell the house and move into an apartment myself..How did you hold on so long without going nuts?? My wife is a penny pincher.. watches everything, so that is why I got a feeling that this is permanenet.. I will take your advise and keep my faith in God and pray for a brighter future..

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by marathonman:
[QB My wife is a penny pincher.. watches everything, so that is why I got a feeling that this is permanenet.. [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dude,

Of COURSE she thinks this is permanent!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

SHE'S LIVING IN A FOG!!!

Settle down, will ya? MAKE A PLAN and work it. Stick to your guns. Get your focus where it needs to be. STOP TRYING TO OVERANALYZE EVERY LITTLE NUANCE OF EVERYTHING SHE DOES OR SAYS.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Luv ya, but Jeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzz.........

LUPOLADY
I see you have an ebony 2x4 as well.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
thanks for the crack..now that there will be a
seperation for a while..I can except that things will b different.. Have to limit words and go dark..I sure hope I can afford the house by myself.. worse case I'll just sell it!
Shame on me for trying to make mountains out of mole hills, it's just going to drive me nuts.
Will be going back this week for a final visit to mediation to clear up all financial aspects..then it's onward and upward...It will then be up to her to come out of the FOG.

MORTARMAN
Is it a good idea for me to ask her if she wants a divorce?? would that be a bad call on my part??
Just thinking it may shake her around a little?
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
I <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ June 03, 2003, 04:50 AM: Message edited by: marathonman ]</small>

MM,

I actually am starting to hear some consistency in your posts. This is a good first step. Keep it up, and we will be going on the offensive shortly.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Both your wife and my wife are showing sooooo much of the same characteristics...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I keep telling you that there is nothing new under the sun. Keep reading other threads on this site, especially those that have reached reconciliation and recovery. Watch how their WSs did the EXACT same things as your wife.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Is the fact that she wants to buy this house not a sign that it is over.. it is a big commitment for her to take this on instead of being in an apartment?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lupolday said it well...stop worrying about this! she is in the fog. She is sincere...sincerely wrong. She honestly believes she knows what she is doing. But she doesnt. She is running, as I stated in a previous post. She wont stop running until you stop chasing her, and then she gets tired of running alone. Then she will have time to sit down and look at reality. Until then...count on her doing "permanent" things. she wants the house because she doesnt want to lose ALL of her life. Then you say "no," so she is going to buy her own house. She'll show you! One thing I have noticed is that WSs in the fog act just like 16 year olds in heat. Ever see a 16 year old be serious? Notice how stupid you think they are? But everything they say and do is totally serious...they mean it. Then they grow up. Your wife has regressed. She will have to grow up. This will take a little time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She is watching me..the last few days she has kept saying that I have not changed and that I am still pining for her!! Has not seen any difference in me..</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I told you...SHE IS WATCHING YOU! My wife continued to say she didnt see any changes. All justification for her continuing her running away. But ask her later one, and she told me that she was seeing the changes. But she couldnt admit that to me at the time. What would that make her, if I had changed and she is still running around? It is hard to be wrong, especially as monumentally wrong that WSs are. Get used to this for awhile. Even when we first started reconciling, she would vascilate between saying I havent changed, to saying that she wants to come home because she has seen the changes. In the world of the fog, NOTHING makes sense.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">she is also holding my stint in thehospital against me.. IT WAS TWO DAYS!! she thought I should have been kept there for a few weeks at least.. the doc said I was fine.. even after a meeting last week.. but she still feels she is the expert!!Maybe she was no expecting me to be over her and is trying to justify some how that I am not!!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I told you when it happened that your trip to the hospital did not help. But that is behind you. Sure, she will bring it up...ESPECIALLY if she is getting no more ammo from you to justify her actions. So, let her dwell in the past. Just give her the present and the future. Let your actions speak for themselves. Eventually, the only people she will be fighting are herself and God. And when you fight yourself and God, you ALWAYS lose!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I will continue to go dark..stand up for myself..</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Keep it up. In a couple of weeks, if you can keep this up, then we can start some small offensive operations.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Being in the house by myself will be a drain.. but as long as I can I will try to manage.. worse case I will sell the house and move into an apartment myself..How did you hold on so long without going nuts?? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Jesus Christ...plain and simple. There is no strength in Mortarman capable of handling what I just went through. My way would have to been to throw her out on her derriere and move on immediately. I am here today with my wife because of the care, comfort and guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is in Him that you need to trust now. When you feel yourself going nuts. understand that that is a satanic attack. You KNOW the truth. Read your Bible everyday. Pray unceasingly. That will take care of the attacks. Write a daily journal. That way, you can go back and look at God working in your life.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My wife is a penny pincher.. watches everything, so that is why I got a feeling that this is permanenet.. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lupolady, help me here. We can both *THWACK* him at the same time!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I will take your advise and keep my faith in God and pray for a brighter future.. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You have to begin to trust this...even when things arent looking good. God made promises to you. Until you trust them, trust your plan, you will continue to have problems. Be patient. God is already at work.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Is it a good idea for me to ask her if she wants a divorce?? would that be a bad call on my part?? Just thinking it may shake her around a little?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Stop thinking. This could be dangerous in your current state <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . You are trying to control her...trying to push her. Only her and God can work this out right now. WORK ON YOU! When it is time for divorce, only then do you use divorce. It is a nuclear weapon. Once you decide to use it, and she doesnt back down...you have to use it. and then everyone loses. You are not there yet. Be honest with her. You dont tell her everything (dark!)...but do not say things you do not mean...do not threaten to do things you are not prepared to do. Part of that respect thing is that you do what you say. Believe me...this is an area that I struggled with until last December.

In His arms.

MORTARMAN
Thanks for the insight.. I thought the idea of talking about D was wrong.. I should no better and will not say a thing.... just go dark! The thing about the hospital was probbaly the miost stupid thing I have ever done..she will hang that over my head like a dagger for the rest of my life..I also think she will use that against me when it comes to joint custody...set me up in the house and then blow me away with child support that will bankrupt me..she is so amazing..you are sooo right, she is running at full speed in the oposite direction. Let her buy her house, she says that she likes it.. but it is not home!! let her go and do what she has to do. With this WW, no matter how good I get and improve, should I expect for her to continue saying I'm irrational and nuts??? Let her see a better person in me and she will eventualy have to accept it!!
I have been praying and reading the bible every night before bed and it seems to help me sleep better... I just have to find a way to feel His presence and know that he is by my side.. I know the praying will help.

Have you consulted with an attorney regarding what are the most likely outcomes of a divorce? I ask because it amazes me how many people just assume that they'll get screwed while other's beleive they'll screw the other party if a divorce occurs, and yet the reality may be somewhere inbetween. One point in particular to touch with an attorney is the who is responsible for paying the debts incurred during the marriage. In many States, BOTH spouses have an EQUAL responsibility to pay off their debts 50/50. IF this is the case in your situation, your W needs to know it.

TOOMUCHCOFFEE
Thats a a good point.. she is offering to pay off half my car loan.. in return for one of the cars..
I will also make sure that she is going to pay half of my visa as well as all other debts..
This is a marriage and its 50/50 same law applies in Canada..the only big difference in my province..adultry is a wash..no fault
I'll discuss with my lawyer when I talk to her tomorrow afternoon..The more I think about the stuff that she wants to take the less concerned I am.. granted it's going to cost mebut all can be replaced...Why would I want our marriage bed, if this may be the end... let her hold on to the memories... I already have them..
Thanks for posting

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">the only big difference in my province..adultry is a wash..no fault
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The same applies here in the U.S., where only a handful of States have fault divorce and adultery is duly considered.

Your W MAY be under the delusion that her life will be better after she divorces you. She does not take into consideration that even with child support, it's going to be a tough road for her. Studies have shown that the vast majority of women that divorce, end up worse economically than their ex-husbands. She MAY even have to resort to a second job just to make ends meet. But if she is hellbent on divorce, she'll get to experience this first hand, in spades.

TOOMUCHCOFFEE
Good morning!
In my WW field she makes some good coin...The house she is moving into will not be a problem since she will have the equity in our house to buy the other one..she is also taking any furniture that can compliment her new home that she does not already have..so she will not have to buy very much.. I onthe other jhand will be heading to Sears to buy a new TV, bedroom set, deep freeze, and dining room set..She may even have some money left over to start a nest egg...
I will hold onto the house for a while fix it up a little and if need be sell it!!
I know that the word is that life is not much better in cases where women divorce.. but this is a smart woman were talking about.. she covers her bases well..Lets just see how this plays out!!
At the present time like Mortarman said, she is still running..let her go and start looking at myself.. pray for guidance and direction...
Thanks for posting..

Had final mediation this morning.. main thing I was concerned about is custody of the girls. Looks like I will have them 50% of the time. They have been with me the last few days and all went okay. Now it's time to just fix all the financial stuff up and get on with life. My WW still knows how I feel about her, but to be quite honest.. I have lost almost all respect for her. Just looking at how cold she treated me when I was in the hospital and as she broke up our family, how she called me a creep.. said she wanted nothing to do with me ect, I have to admit the love bank for her is draining. I will continue with Plan B as plan A did not seem to gain mouch ground.
I continue to beleive that she is in a fog and involved with OM maybe #1 or someone new although she says no.. she will one day wake up and open her eyes tofind that life is not all that better and that she had a real good life with a loving husband .. no matter how bad she thought she had it!!

BUMP!! sorry I'm looking for a response from yesterdays post

mm:

Now's the time 2 really focus on your self-improvement. Someday, your W is going 2 be surprised at your self-confidence and all around cheerfulness.

I think it's great that you got joint custody. That's a good start.

Take care,
-2long.