Mimi,

As the great JL always says... Steady as she goes!

Great job!! It wont be long now.

In His arms

Hi Mimi
I'm not posting alot because you are getting such good advice from everyone else- especially Pepper. Anyway, just to say, you have really grown alot through this process and learned to be strong. Way to go, girl! Keep up the good work!

Mimi,
Just remember, you've got the power now. Use it! Good luck!!

Mimi,

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> This was good news but by no means are you out of the woods yet. No jinxing but be aware that the roller coaster may tilt the other way soon. When it does you be just as nonchalant.

It keeps you in a safer position.

U R doing good.

L.

Unbelievable! I sold my house today. It's only been on the market one day. All that cleaning/decorating/nesting during PLAN B has paid off! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Want to hear something funny? When WS came to sign papers, he asked the realtor if I was in agreement with the purchase offer? When she said,yes, he said "I want to do what makes her happy". Isn't that laughable? I don't see how he can make those words come out of his mouth.

He also asked her if she is helping me with "the other stuff" (meaning the purchase of a house for me). She said she asked him "What other stuff?" and he backed off.

<small>[ July 08, 2003, 10:33 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

WoW!

Good job Mimi!

well done Mimi

that is great news on the house. Another big step into a better future for you. Your WH will soon see what he is leaving behind.

S.

Mimi,

Great news about the house! Did the realtor call your H to come sign the papers? I wonder how he feels about it? I wish you knew what he was thinking. Don't you suspect that he has to be shaken up?

Mimi,

I have not been here for a while. My H and I have been working on recovery since early June when he broke off contact and wrote the NC letter. But tonight I decided to check in, particularly with you, because I always felt a connection to you. I am so delighted to read how far you have progressed. The Plan B, my H now admits, had a tremendous impact on him. I was fortunate that it impacted him fairly quickly, but recovery is a lot of work, and we both know that it is not going to be a short-term task. We are continuing with MB therapy with Jennifer every couple of weeks and feeling a bit stronger each day.

Anyway, enough about me. Congratulations on your progress and I will check in with you periodically. Good news on the houses and I like what I am hearing about your H. Keep strong, but don't give up hope.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Great news Mimi, now you can look forward to the next step, new home, new beginnings....
Keep it up!
I like what isgirl had to say, it should give us hope,huh?

Hi mimi!!!

Isn't it great the turn of events???

Keep the good work, I beleive your plan B is paying off. Don't get dissapointed or frustrated now. Be strong and congrats for the new home!

Hi Learnin, Mimi, et al,

Yes, I want to give you all hope. Don't discard it until your D is final! There is always hope, and the prayers of everyone on this board make miracles happen, I am convinced. Just read and you will agree.

Don't get me wrong. We are far from mended. We are far from where we need to be. We will never be where we used to be, because, as Jennifer (MB) points out, the old relationship was based totally on the wrong approaches. So with the help of MB, we are building a new relationship, based on the principles outlined here. Creating the habits is a lot of work and we have weekly reviews to determine where we are individually at meeting the others' ENs and avoiding LBs. It's not a review of each other, but of ourselves - how have I achieved my goal.

I still have nightmares and daymares about the OW...is he contacting her? Is she contacting him? The letter was written, yes, but who knows what happens thereafter? We have created a very open relationship with regard to honesty. Our phone logs, voicemail, email, bills, etc., are there for the other to see, but there are always payphones. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> And we still have a LONG way to go with emotional honesty (mostly his ability to open up and talk).

One small step at a time. Each day, with a little more work, we are that much closer to where we need to be and to each other.

My H said that the day he received the Plan B letter it was like his world began changing and he realized the seriousness of his decision and his actions. It still took him some time to decide he could commit to no contact. But take faith in the fact that Plan B does force the WS to take stock, to look at what they are doing. Keep the distance, don't cave in. No contact until the WS makes a decision really works, even though it is excrutiatingly painful.

Been there...done that..hated it...loving where we are going from here.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thanks ISGIRL,
Hearing success stories, and you are a success story, even if you aren't where you need or want to be yet, is good for the rest of us. As you know it can get discouraging. I think, he's really into this A relationship, maybe it is serious, maybe it is worth all that he is losing...
But then I remember the love, the good times and I know in my heart that this A won't last! And then what? I need to be ready for that moment, I need to be strong, I need to be my own person, so that I can make a decision based on what's best for me and my family.
Anyways, thanks again, and keep up the good work!

Calling Mimi! Are ya doing ok this week?

Hey Guys!

I've been having such a mixture of emotions!

Weekends, especially Saturday, are awful for me. So many memories of him leaving on Saturday and not coming back home until Sunday. Also I can't help but wonder what's going on with them since I'm pretty sure that they went away with each other on Thursday. I guess he's trying to salvage the relationship with a romantic holiday since he said that it wasn't working. Why should I care? But, I still do. I saw him on Wednesday driving in his car. He seemed happy and upbeat, talking on his cell phone. He still made my heart beat fast, as usual, despite all the bad things that he has done to me. I wish I could stop loving him. This is the bad side.

Only a few days ago I was on top of the world. I saw myself living without him, was thinking that I wouldn't even want him back even if he is wanted to come back home and met my conditions.

You see, I'm from one direction to the other.

I found a house that I like but I'm not as happy as I thought I would be. It just seems weird to start this new life without him. I'm so mad that I've been put in this position. It's wonderful, though, that I'm having the opportunity to gain my independence. You see from one direction to the other.

I think I'm on the fence!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

<small>[ July 12, 2003, 09:01 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

Mimi,

"On the fence" is exactly where you should be in Plan B. That means Plan B is working for you.

Hang tough. Everything is going as planned and as expected.

In His arms.

Mimi, I know you must be struggling. I've been keeping up here but not posting much.
I'd just like to say I think you're doing well so far in your plan.
I don't know what your religious belief is, but if you do practice a faith, keep praying for God's will in your life.
When I suspected my H was seeing someone, I prayed for God to make sin fail. But also for his will for my life to be done. If it was to be that my H was going to leave, For God to guide me, and let only his will be done.
I truly believe in giving it over to God who has the last word!
And he can perform the miracles needed. Whatever the outcome is to be, you will always find peace in knowing God is with you and watching over you.
Sometimes, people like our H's are allowed to exercise their free will because they have turned so against the Lord.
It's their hearts that have to change, and only when they allow God to do so will they wake up.
I also prayed for God to speak to my H's heart, drawing him back to him.
You continue to do what you need to do to prepare yourself for future, and hopefully a salvaged marriage.
I was not only praying in hopes my marriage would be saved, but my husbands soul was at risk!
Prayer is still our greatest weapon against satan and his ways.
God bless, LouLou

Mimi

IMO Mortarman is 100% right. Plan B is about protecting your love for your WH, while forcing him into living with the consequences of his actions. It also sees you focussing on yourself. You have done all of these things and done them well.

Reread what you have written - you have done things for yourself that made you happy. Any thoughts you had of him, or encounters with him reminded you of the love that you have locked away for him, BUT they haven't prevented you doing what you are doing.

As to him looking happy - think about the last time you saw a drunk in a bar. Was he singing, laughing, telling jokes - probably. But was he really happy? Your WH will almost certainly be feeling a deeply growing unease. The 'gut' reaction to this for all of us is denial, then trying to rationalise in a way that aligns with our emotions of the monent (i.e. he'll blame you - but you won't be there to take this thanks to plan B). Eventually his focus will move to where it should be and the pressure will build till he comes running back to you.

Hang in there. We're all rooting for you.

S.

Orchid mentioned on Claire's thread that WSes often take OPes to special places of WS and BS. I think my BS took OW on a trip. I can't think of a place he could have taken her that we haven't gone because traveling was a major pastime of ours. What is that all about? Orchid said the attempt is to make the "memory into a nightmare'. What does this mean?

I also am somewhat concerned that I goofed in that phone call last week. I probably gave him too much hope. He realized that I had not given up. Why else would he then take her on a trip right after that conversation?

Hopefully as I proceed with moving and the house sale he will realize that I am really moving on.

I'm continuing to have these opposing feelings and viewpoints. On the one hand, I would love to have my family back intact. My children seem to be hurting so much with all of these changes and upheaval. On the other hand, it almost seems impossible that I can forget and forgive him for what he is doing. This is so destructive and devastating as we all know.

After all this time, over 6 months since D-Day, I still can't conceive of how my H can be maintaining a life and a relationship with someone else. It can't possibly be the man I have known. I can't understand how he can be doing that.

What's so funny in a way is that the OW thinks of him as her soulmate/her true love. Given that he grew up with me, since the age of 18 and he is now almost 50, so much of him is part of me. I was thinking this morning that so much of my routine of life was developed in my relationship with him. So much of what he does is also affected by me. She's thinking that his routines are all him and she is in awe of him. That means that she is partly in awe of me. In other words, I helped prepare him for her. Does this make sense? I believe that we are of ONE FLESH as GOD DIRECTED.

These are my thoughts for this morning...

Looking forward to hearing from you guys.

I officially got approved for the loan on MY NEW HOUSE. It feels good to know that I can buy a house on my own without question from a bank. I never dreamed that my life would turn out like this.

However, I'm following God's lead in all this.

Yes, LouLou, I definitely am a Christian and have become even more renewed in my faith. I have some Bible verses that are guiding me, including these from Romans 8:

"In all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose"

"The mind of sinful man (WS) is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit (Me) is life and peace...

I'm continuing to pray for my WS that he will turn towards God and away from the Satanic forces which seem to have caught him.