Mimi,
I'm so happy for you, the new house will help you to focus on daily living and moving forward!
I understand completely the conflicting feelings that you are having. It's a daily battle for me as well.
I have the Lawyer's appt. tomorrow. I'm afraid that it will send a message that I have given up and wonder if WH will just move on with that and not look back.
I've fought hard and long for him, now it's time for him to fight for us and if he doesn't, then he's not the man I want anyways.
But I guess I can't worry about that anymore, if it's to be it will be. I've done all I can. Now it's time to protect me and the kids.
Good luck with the house and have fun with it!

Mimi -
First, congratulations on the mortgage approval for your new house! Are you ready to sign the papers? What do your sons think of the new house? I've lived in my house for 23 years and am scared of moving - too much accumulated stuff! LOL!

What you wrote about one day feeling so strong and the next day missing your WH is exactly what I've been feeling. The part about not believing that this is happening is also something I can relate to, especially when I first wake up in the morning. It's just so BIZARRE!! But then I wake up, literally and figuratively, and realize it's true, WH is gone, and I'm alone. It's a grieving process, maybe we're both going back and forth between the stages of grief.

My father and step-mother recently made an interesting comment to me. My father is a widower and my step-mother is a widow, they both lost their spouses unexpectedly while very young, so they know what grieving for a spouse is all about. They told me that the grief they felt had an end to it because death is final. What you and I and many other BS's are going through with our WS's is not final yet, there are many loose ends, we are in limbo, waiting to see where Plan B leads us. Call it fence-sitting, limbo, living with ambiguity, it's all a waiting game. Both of us will survive, and probably be better people when all is said and done, but some days are hard!

Mimi you've only been in Plan B for about a month. I think it's natural to wonder what WH is doing, but you will wonder less as time goes by. After 6 months my primary concern is to establish a new family unit, the most important thing in the world to me, and a task aimed toward the future. So many revelations have come to me since D-day! Sometimes they come in spurts and I have to sort them out, like the last 2 weeks. Maybe it's some kind of growing pains.

Well, there really isn't a better alternative to Plan B so we might as well make the best of it.

Lablady

What do you guys make of this?

The buyers of the house want to close ASAP. I would pay rent here until the closing of my house which would save me a mortgage payment here and at my new house. I can negotiate a small rental payment.

The realtor tells WS this and he flips, stating "Why are they rushing US ? WE were supposed to have one more month before the closing?" He is refusing to agree to this. The realtor told him that he will have to check with me because this is what I want to do. Realtor says: "Sounds like he still loves you despite how bad he has treated you". I don't know exactly what made her say this.

He hasn't called me yet. Is he now realizing that this is for real? He's losing his house and potentially his marriage? He's trying to stall, right, because he knows that he has to make a decision and get off the fence.

My plan is to proceed with the closing ASAP. That's what's best for me. That's what I do in PLAN B. Right? To me, he is continuing to want to "play like" he's my husband. Meanwhile, he goes on a weekend getaway with the OW.

All of this has been because of the decisions and choices that he has made: to have an A, to abandon me, and to buy a condo in which he "plays house" with the OW. I was supposed to sit here and wait until he finished with his entertainment.

What an ALIEN!!!

Mimi,
I'm in AWE of how things are going for you!!! Keep it up. Lots of us praying for you here.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid mentioned that WSes often take OPes to special places of WS and BS. What is that all about? Orchid said the attempt is to make the "memory into a nightmare'. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Actually, I have another theory. Well, really, not me, but Bob Steinkamp.....ever heard of him? Well, he and his W run RejoiceMinistries in Pompano Beach, FL. He was the WS, 16 years ago! Now they help others (like us) navigate through this mess.

He writes stories, books, about the travels a WS (and sometimes the BS) takes through life as a WS (and sometimes as the BS). I strongly urge you to go read my thread on Prayer Requests entitled "Prodigals DO Come Home"

There are quotes from Bob's book by that title. If you do not have this book, and you are the BS, you NEED it!! Anyways, while waiting for your copy, please go read the thread. There's a chapter in the book explaining exactly WHY the WS's take the OP to "our" special places, or do "our" special things.......

I'm not gonna re-write it over here, cause it's posted over there, 2nd - it's late, and I don't want to! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and final reason: without the book in front of me, I don't want to misquote any part of it.....but suffice it to say, Mimi, that it's all part of the WS mentality (and we ALL know about that, don't we?). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I goofed in that phone call last week. I probably gave him too much hope. He realized that I had not given up. Why else would he then take her on a trip right after that conversation?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Forget about WHY he took that trip with her, but I agree about the other stuff. DO NOT ENGAGE in any conversations with him while in Plan B! Plan B is for YOU. You would have peace of mind, not thinking aobut his trip, his mindset, his plans, etc. You can concentrate on your future.....It's HIS TIME to "wonder" what is happening to his life....and to you. If you give him information - any information, then technically, you're not in Plan B, are you? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> And, yes, you probably gave him hope to keep stringing you along, while having vacations with <her>. This is why Plan B is no contact.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hopefully as I proceed with moving and the house sale he will realize that I am really moving on.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, hopefully, he will. In the meantime, enjoy this!! It sounds so exciting!! Especially the way God is leading, and clearing the way for things to just work out!!!

When my WH left, I went to the Lord, and said, "Lord, I'm alone now. No H. YOU will have to be my H. YOU will have to provide for me...."
Mimi, He always did!! I never missed one payment on anything. I never ran out of anything, or lacked manpower or any help for anything my H normally had taken care of!!!! God is so faithful, if we call on Him.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm continuing to have these opposing feelings and viewpoints....it almost seems impossible that I can forget and forgive him for what he is doing. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't let your self think about this now. Satan will take this and have a heyday with it. Keep yourself strong, and your children will see how to handle adversity thrown at them without warning.

See, I got to a place where I realized God had made ME strong!! I mean, I alwasy was, but it was in MY strength. He wanted me to be strong IN HIM. Now, I think I am.....the difference now is that I know I am leaning on the Rock. And that the day will come when my H will need that ROCK. And the only place he will find it is with ME.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">over 6 months since D-Day, I still can't conceive of how my H can be maintaining a life and a relationship with someone else. It can't possibly be the man I have known. I can't understand how he can be doing that.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I can go there in my head, too. Mimi, don't let yourself go there!!! These thoughts are of satan, to get your focus off God, to make you believe it is impossible that he will ever leave her, or come home. Remember, nothing is impossible with God! We can't understand WHAT is making them act this way, but it doesn't matter!! When the time is right, GOD WILL INTERVENE, AND THEN THE MEN WE KNOW, THE MEN WE MARRY WILL RETURN!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Given that he grew up with me, since the age of 18 and he is now almost 50, so much of him is part of me....so much of my routine of life was developed in my relationship with him. She's thinking that his routines are all him and she is in awe of him. That means that she is partly in awe of me. In other words, I helped prepare him for her. Does this make sense? I believe that we are of ONE FLESH as GOD DIRECTED</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wow!! I think this is most profound!!! WOW!!!!
Anyway, think of this (also from Steinkamp's book), SHe is trying to "fit in" with his way of doing things.....Or make him over in HER ways. Meanwhile, HE is trying to make her into a duplicate of YOU, since he IS a part of you, and has done the things the way YOU TWO have done them for all these years.

problem is, they don't fit!! Never will. Cause he is YOUR One-flesh mate, not hers!!! SHE is the counterfeit. He is only trying to fit with her, to do everything HER way, or change her to HIS way, cause he's trying to recreate his life with you, with her. Does THAT make any sense?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The buyers of the house want to close ASAP. I would pay rent here until the closing of my house which would save me a mortgage payment here and at my new house. I can negotiate a small rental payment.

The realtor tells WS this and he flips, stating "Why are they rushing US ? WE were supposed to have one more month before the closing?" He is refusing to agree to this.
He hasn't called me yet. Is he now realizing that this is for real? He's losing his house and potentially his marriage? He's trying to stall, right, because he knows that he has to make a decision and get off the fence.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yep, I believe you've got it right.
Remember, you have to do what is best FOR YOU right now.....don't get sucked into his game, into his rationalizations, into his panic.

yes, his Freudian slips were showing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> He was forgetting for a few moments that he wants NOTHING to do with yoU!!! He was panicking and seeing how it was all going to go away from him. POOF!! And you'd be gone. He sees his life with you slipping through his fingers, and he's starting to panic. ANOTHER reason, I believe, he went on the trip with her next day (trying to recreate his life, with a counterfeit), so it might still "feel normal"

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My plan is to proceed with the closing ASAP. That's what's best for me. That's what I do in PLAN B.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ABSOLUTELY Right!

You're doing great, Mimi. I really haven't posted much at all, cause you're getting great advice from so many other, smarter people.

I just wanted to share about the "counterfeit" thing, with OP taking our place, and silly WS's, trying to re-create a life. Funny thing, isn't it? They dont' go make a NEW life, they try to recreate the OLD ONE!!! The one they don't want anymore..............

Go figure. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Mimi, I agree with LupoLady, MOVE FORWARD. Don't accommodate his little game. Don't let him think you are going to put your life on hold while he plays. He has made his choices and now it is time for you to make yours.

I am wondering how your boy is coping through all this, Mimi. My seperation was extremely hard on my boys. This is a terrible age for a boy to lose his father. This is when they need them the most. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Hey Mimi,
How's it going?
Just thought I'd post here, hope you don't mind, I'm avoiding my own thread, just the whole family thing, I really feel violated, just giving it some space, maybe they'll loose interest?
Anyways, I'm feeling tired and blue today. I have the lawyers appt. today, to start the D process, just to protect myself financially and set up visitation. I want lawyer to find out what's up with the court order keeping WH from being alone with OW's kids? I know it's just OW's H tactic, but I can't be too sure when it comes to my kids. I don't want him taking them out of state to his place for now anyways, delay meeting OW, and only 4 yr. old wants to go anyways.
So he's backed off taking them this weekend,(wonder why?, he was so adamant about taking them as of last weekend). He called my friend to see if he can come up sat. and take them out for a few hours, says he doesn't know what he can do with them, he has no money.(So again he's adhering to my Plan B wishes and not calling me)
I'm not sure how starting D will affect him, I'm hoping I can stall the process as much as possible, I just feel at this point I have few options. I'm feeling sad about this. I don't want to be Learnin vs Mr. Learnin. Something about that sends shivers down my spine!
His cousins from California, who I spent time with over the 4th, spent a night with WH on their way home(he's close to airport). Cousin called me the other night to tell me about the visit. She said her and her brother(they are about 10 yrs. older than us) took him out to dinner and pretty much spent the evening telling him what a mistake he was making. They told him, the relationship wouldn't last and he would end up with nothing, a new relationship always feels good, life is hard, you have to work at it, the kids will suffer, not to fool himself that they will be fine, how can he be away from his kids, they are wonderful, and then they had all great things to say about me.
Not sure how much he heard, but I have to think something sinks in?
I really appreciated them not being afraid to make him uncomfortable. It would have been easy for them to just avoid the matter and have nice visit.
He did say he was angry with me(last letter to OW did it I'm sure).
I'm just feeling down today, I'm sure it's the thought of this whole D thing getting started. I DON'T want to do it , but have to. Sooo much paperwork too, I was up late last night and gave up, I'll try to hit it again today at work if I can and maybe get out early before my appt.
I started a new diet, no alcohol allowed! Man, I'll be wanting one tonight for sure!!
Thanks for listening and again sorry for the hijack!

Learnin:

Please feel free to hijack anytime. We are all in this together.

I've found it helpful to think of going to the lawyer as a means of protecting yourself and your children. It does not necessarily mean D. It can be a step to prevent D because if you begin to think of your WS too negatively because of his neglect of his family you will want to D him anyways. This is another means of guarding your love for him. Make sense?

I think that the A does suffer from increased exposure-takes away the fantasy aspect of it. However, as others have said, I'm beginning to realize that the process takes a lot of time and patience.

I'm beginning to get weary of all this and today feel like I want to be finished with it. I'm tired of being so unhappy. Life is much too short to waste time with this crap! What's so bizarre is that I'll feel entirely different in the next hour or so. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Take Care. Let me hear how it goes with the lawyer. Please feel free to contact me on this thread. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Mimi-

I've followed for a while, but want to read thoroghly before commenting... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I'll check back in later after I've gone through it.

Mimi,

Just wanted to let you know that I am following your situation and appreciate your thoughts on mine. I think you are right when you mentioned the need for time and patience. It is one of the hardest things to muster at a time like this, particularly patience.

now what

I know I'm MOVING FORWARD and working on my INDEPENDENCE but the feeling today is wanting someone to love me. I'm praying to be in love again. I am really lonely and don't like doing all of this stuff by myself. I'm supposed to feeling good about this opportunity but I'm not.

I hate it that my WS seems to have fooled me again. He fooled me into getting some comfort for himself in that last conversation. He convinced himself that I would still be waiting for him although I'm buying a house. Then he went off and took her on a trip while I sat at home alone on the weekend. I just can't understand that concept of wanting me AFTER he is finished with her. What would make him think that I would be considered for his leftovers and why would he want me after that? How can he conceive of that as being love?

I wish I could hate him and be finished with him as so many people tell me to do but I can't. Everybody says, "he's missing out, just go on with your life.. you're such a beautiful, classy lady, etc." but I cant'.

HELP!!!!

<small>[ July 15, 2003, 02:10 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

Mimi,

I have been following your thread but haven't posted because I don't have much advice to offer. Just wanted you to know I am here and, when you find the answers let me know...I have been feeling exactly the same way and asking myself the same questions over and over and over......

What do you think is going on with me?

Scared about making that big step of moving out of my dream house?

I'm feeling like my whole life before now was a sham-almost a waste.

I want to call my WS and tell him how he has destroyed my life. I also am having rageful feelings towards this OW. I was wanting to go pay a visit to her at her office or even call her.

Wonder why this is going on today?

Mimi

My 2c worth.

I don't believe that plan B is 'supposed to make you feel good'. We have to face the fact that our WS's actions have put us (and them btw) in a ****ty position. Plan B is about plotting the best course out of that position, with the maximum chance of restoring the marital relationship. That doesn't make it easy, pleasant or even intuitive. Of course you want to be loved, we all do. Plan B is about giving you the best chance of achieving this from your current start-point.

Stop fretting about what comfort your H may have got from some conversation. Think about all the other conversations, interactions etc, where he got a belt of the 2x4. Think about how you take comfort from some of his actions. My point is, control what you can control and don't worry about the rest. Sometimes easier said than done I know, but something to strive for.

Also, he will not have rationalised the situation as you have done. He will not be (at least conciously) thinking of you as the 'fall-back option'. The fact that he can consider loving you while 'in love' with the OW, says 2 things. 1 - the fog, and 2 - that he still loves you.

keep up the good work you are doing in plan B. It isn't an easy road, but you have support here, you are doing well, and the low moments you expereience from time to time are part of the journey, but the endpoint of that journey will be a happier, better Mimi, who, if your WH regains his senses according to the usual timescale for 'aliens', will be accompanied by a better FWH, and who otherwise will be better placed than ever before in your life to find a mate who deserves you.

hang in there!

Hugs

S.

Mimi
I have been following your thread, and your last post struck home.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I wish I could hate him and be finished with him as so many peope tell me to do but I can't. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Loving someone so much somehow makes them a part of us. And when we love someone enough we feel they must love us in return.
I told my WW that in her entire life she would never find anyone who would love her as much as I do. She replied, "I know that's true, but it doesn't matter". How can it not matter.
How do you stop loving the WS who has been your heart and soul for so long? And how do you ever accept that they no longer feel the same about you? Everything you are going through could be so much easier if you could only stop the feelings that you have for them. But if you try to loose your love for them, you feel like you are loosing a part of yourself.

Mimi, you are getting good advice and support from so many here. There is never really much that I feel I can add. All us BSs go through so many of the same thoughts and crazy fog situations. Remember that you are never alone in this!

I know what you mean about wishing you could hate him and be finished with him ..... I have good reasons to be finished with my STBXWH, but my feelings of love haven't yet died.

I am so pleased to hear that you are moving house. I never did, never thought there was any need to, but in the last few days, I have been finding myself wondering what they got up to in my house <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> It's almost as if I have been burgled!

I know it is really hard to control the urge to getta hold of the WS and OW and tell them how much they have screwed up your previously happy existence, but that would achieve nothing for you in the long term.

Plan B is all about tactical thinking.

Plan B is about protecting yourself emotionally and making preparations to cope with the next phase - whether that be reconciliation or divorce.

With regards to reconciliation, the BS must decide what their criteria would be for accepting the WS back. I have worked out what kind of husband I want. Should a miracle happen and I find myself discussing reconciliation with WH, my second question will be: How are you going to be a good husband for me? (The first question is, of course, Are you still in contact with the Concubine?!!)

Concerning divorce, well I did contemplate using DV as a way of turning up the pressure on WH. But trying to manipulate WH into coming home is not the reason to seek a divorce!!! The reason to seek a DV is because you believe that your future (and that of your children) will be better if you are no longer married.

BTW, my WH just took his Concubine to where we spent our honeymoon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> This is also the same place that WH and I had our last little holiday together while I was on Army leave. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Why do they do it?
Short answer = they're idiots.
Long answer = see earlier posts. I think they are testing out the OP. OP will invariably fail.

Kia Kaha Mimi, (NZ Maori for Be Strong!)

Mimi,

Have you read that post called the 5 stages of grieving? Redhat carries the link in his sig line..... sometimes when we post his name...Redhat comes..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> You can then read that post.

Your feelings are quite normal. It is a phase or stage a BS or any grieving person goes through. It is temporary but it does hurt and feels like it will last forever. But it doesn't.

L.

Hi MIMI , I have never posted to you but keep up reading on you awhile back Orchid told me to read your thread ,to help me with my situation ..

Anyway I wanted to through my support your way and tell ya I think you are doing great , much better then you think sometimes ..
AND I wanted to comment on one of your last posts .

First you are never and will never be left overs , keep that in mind YOU are and always will be the ONE ,,, HIS wife , you went on trips and other places with him long before OW .

SHE will always be second to you never the reverse . WHY do they do that , WELL through my H telling me why he took OW the palces we went and said the same things to her and even called her the same pet names yep she even told me that one her pet name I LMAO , I felt great ,, he did it cause things got well stale in away you know wasn't that FIRST falling in love thing ,,, so he tried to REcreate it with her NOT HAPPENING !!!

IT will never be the same you will always be more special , even if he didn't come home .

My H told me he got court up in the fantasy her fantasy and just tried for awhile to replace me ..

He will relize you can't be replaced .

One more thing (sorry so long ) When my H was out (before MB) a month or so before he begged to come home he started saying things that had an "US" swist on everything .

Always making a small refrence to future things , It drove me nuts for awile then when I did speack to him and he said, it I use to laugh and say things like ,,, HELLO if ya haven't noticed its "ME" you don't live here , or I think you forgot maybe you hit your head on her bed post but its not your decision what I do . ALL very matter a fact like ..

Any way read the greiving stages Orchid gave you , and never try to hate him that takes to much out of you and it won't happen , just try "TO BE" one day at a time , you will be suprised on how strong you really are ..

BE well , congrats on the house , and PLAN B your butt off .

get a heavy bag and boxing gloves in new house and swing at it everytime you think of OW . LOL

MiMi-

I'm only on page 20 but I wanted to STRONGLY suggest something to you.

It seems as if you are really pained about not being a good cook. I wanted to suggest that you think about a cooking class. I think that if you're interested in this, it may distract you enough and help you improve in an area that you feel lacking in.

The other thing I want to comment on is about the furniture. I'm going to say this as clear as I can - he left it because he had no intention of leaving forever. In a WS's twisted fog, having the stuff in the "home" is a safety net. "My things are there because it's my territory." As long as my stuff is there, the BS is accepting me and still there for me.

The most shocking thing that you can do to a WS is to pack it all up and deliver it to them. It sends a VERY clear message that you are DONE and not willing to enable the A any longer....

Put your worry to rest on the condo furniture issue. He probably will NEVER come for it unless you push him to.

I'm going back to reading now! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Mimi, read the comment about cooking. You can cook wonderful foods with just a few tips.
I like the suggestion about you taking a cooking class.
But a few things always necessary to remember even following a cookbook. And there are great sites online for recipes and instructions. Go look at Recipezaar.com., recipegoldmine.com,or just type in recipes and find many. I like recipes that do not call for a 100 ingredients! And can be made in 30 mins or less.
I found a great chicken Marsala one online that taste just like one we had on a cruise. And easiest recipe in the world to make!
I can whip that up in 30 mins or less ready to put on table. Everyone thinks is gourmet!
Once you get the hang of it, you'll love cooking!
Always remember, never try to rush it by turning burner up to high. LOL Easy does it.
I will say I'm a pretty good cook so if I can help in any way, just ask.
I'm sure many here are also, so we could send you a few recipes.
Keep on keeping on. You're doing great and I'm sure you've many talents that stand out so the cooking is not a huge problem!
It's just that men love to eat. LOL So we have to make em think we've spent hours in the kitchen, but haven't!
Blessings. LouLou

I LOVE YOU ALL!!! You are wonderful. What would I do without you? I've had a better day today. I will post more later when I have more time.

The condo furniture has been a safety blanket for me as well. When he first moved out and we were talking and I was not in Plan B, he said "if I come get the rest of my stuff, it won't mean that I'm not coming back". Despite this comment, he has not gotten his stuff after 3 months. I mostly like that it's probably making her a bit anxious. I want her to feel some pain. I'm not contacting him now-in Plan B. I was planning on taking it with me to my new house. What do you think? I really hate to get rid of it. I was just sitting on the couch tonight and enjoying it.

I'm taking a photography class now that I am really excited about. I will try a cooking class next. That's a great idea!

I'm thinking that they are doing a lot of eating. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I don't eat much and WS would always encourage me to eat more during the false reconciliation when he was trying to get me to act like her, I've realized. I hope she is getting fat. He would hate that! I've never gotten a chance to see her body. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Just Rambling.....