Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
O
Orchid Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Hi,

I don't have a lot of time to post but wanted to start a separate thread. I have noticed a few posts lately talking about suicide. While the feelings of worthlessness is common among the BS, suicide is NOT the answer.

I am opening this thread in hopes to get encouraging posts that all MBers can benefit from in regards to this subject and all that is related (that's a large topic, 'eh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ),

All thoughts, concerns, questions, help aides, reference thread links and suggestions are welcomed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

With that said, I leave it to all of you and will check back tonight.

Mahalo,
L.

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
I was thinking about it last night, see my thread. I thought about it before and planed different ways too. I knew it was Satan working on me. On the other hand, my conciouse side of me telling me that I can not do it. I can not leave my kids without a mother. My parents, siblings will be very sad. Even Wh doesn't care. It is not worth doing so. everyday, there were two me fighting. It is extremely hard to get over these thought. But I hung on this board, lots of help here.

Pleas any opinion will help me. thanks Orchid for starting this thread.

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,709
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,709
If we do commit suicide, the OP has won.
If it happens, then it will be guaranteed that our M will never be given a chance, and isn't that what we (the BS) want?
Even though we may think that our situation is hopeless and impossible, look at all the success stories from people who thought the same as us once!
Of course, read the scriptures i have in my sig line. prayers to you, i've been there.

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
Suicide has never crossed my mind...although a car accident has...First if you believe in God, put all your troubles in His hands...hand them over to him.

Second...if you are depressed, and suicide thoughts are a very strong sign you are, see a DR ASAP to get put on some Anti-D's. If you are them now and you still have those thoughts, go back and get another RX. These drugs work miracles. The miracles in which God cannot work. Put your pride behind you and get on some meds.

Thridly...keep yourself busy and occupied. Not jsut with the kids, but yourself. Clean the house, do some yardwork, go buy some new undies to show off that weight you ahve lost.

Last...stay strong. You WILL survive this. Suicide does not solve anything. Sure your gone, dead and buried. But what does that accomplish. Your going to end YOUR life so EVERYONE ELSE around you can suffer! No, NO, NO...not the answer!

Keep the Faith!

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
Thank you so much mom and rr. I am on ant-D, Clecex. I am taking Xenex too. RR, I read the scripts in your sig line. A mini Bible is always in my purse.

I know that I want my M back, if I die, there will be no M and wH will get my $500,000 life insurance. I think I worth more than that. But how do I get rid of these thought?

Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,251
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,251
lostnhurt, you're willing to consider suicide but not Plan B? Could you explain why?

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
During the early months, I seriously considered suicide. But ooops, my life insurance was in my WH's name. I could just picture him and OW enjoying themselves with it.

So I changed insurance to my boys' names. By that time I was feeling somewhat better.

Now I am happy all of the time and a completely different person. So glad I didn't do it. It would have just added more pain to this world.

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
I am not willing to consider suicide. I just can't get rid of this thought.

I will go to Plan B for sure. Either now, or after going to MB weekend. I don't want to ruin the MB weekend. I only have about 3 weeks to hang on. I am going to a cruise on 4/23 wiht my sis. That is sort of Plan B.

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
Correct me if I am wrong on this...But I didn't think anyone got the life insurance if the person commits suicide. Why would they?

Just look at your kids...can you imagine them going on with life WITHOUT their MOMMY! They will have their daddy, with or without you, but if you are DEAD, they will only have a gravestone and a picture of you. Think about that!

Also, maybe your current Anti-D's are not the one for you...I would consider changing to another one! It took me about 5 different ones to find the RIGHT one for ME. Xanax helps to calm your nerves too!

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
I don't know what other kind I can take. I just called in for more celexer.

Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,251
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,251
Sometimes antidepressants cause suicidal thoughts. If you're having these thoughts, CALL YOUR DOCTOR.

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,995
L&H

Now come on! You and I both know that you are worth more to yourself than suicide. You go back and read ARKS post on the universe. You belong in the universe. Do not live for another person. You like me have lived for years for someone else. I cut his hair, popped his pimples, made his lunch, dinner, did his wash. Now I just do all of that for me.....and you know I am kind of liking it. No more pressure. If I go to the mall, I don't have to hurry home anymore. My life was always such a rush because of him. Now I just live for me and my kids. I told my IC that I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up because the pain hurt so bad sometimes. She told me that was a normal feeling, BUT thinking about actually doing something to yourself to kill yourself is different. Are you seriously thinking about ending your life? Or do you just think that it would be nice to go to sleep for a year and wake up with everything better? You are a strong woman.
If you are seriously having these thoughts, please change meds. Just J is right, some do make you do strange things. Or maybe just the amount you are taking. You should head right to the Drs. office and talk to them.

Once you do something to yourself, there is no turning back. Think of it that way. If you did try something you can end up a vegetable laying there in bed for the rest of your life, sometimes suicide doesn't work. There is just so much more to life than another person. Live for you. If you are in that much pain just get out of the whole relationship. Plan B until after withdrawals are over and then file for D, move on, go on with life. You can do it. We are all living proof that there is life outside your marriage. Keep your chin up, and believe me if you ask GOD if he is ready for you, he will say no not yet. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

NY

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 385
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 385
My family has a long history of clinical depression and suicide. So for me growing up, it always seemed like a reasonable option to dealing with problems.

There is probably not a month that goes by that I don't think about. There are many times, particularly in a depressive cycle, where it seems to make more sense than carrying on the struggle.

So why don't I make that choice? The first reason is that I recognize that my thinking during those times is flawed, thanks to being able to recognize the depression itself for what it is. But the compelling reason is that my religious beliefs identify suicide as the ultimate waste of time and effort. I am here to accomplish certain growth and development, and opting out early just means I have to come back and do it again. I have gone through a great deal of work and pain to get where I am - I so do not want to have to do it over!!!

It's clear to me that my work here is not done; my responsibilities have not been discharged. I opted to have children, and I will not walk out on that responsibility.

Anti-depressants really never did a thing to change my suicidal thoughts. I was quite surprised the day I learned that not everyone thinks this way - the look on my doctor's face was priceless, he was so shocked at my surprise. What anti-depressants did do was help me recognize what spiralling into depression looked and felt like, which helps me recognize my thought patterns may not be valid.

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lostnhurt:
<strong> I don't know what other kind I can take. I just called in for more celexer. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Call your DR back RIGHT NOW and insist that you talk to them...Tell him what you are thinking about. Tell him that you do not think the Celexa is working for you. It is not up to you to decide which meds you need to take, he will put you on anothger one. there is a butt load of ANTI-D's out there. Paxil, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Effexor, And many more. It may take 3 or 4 to find the right one. Some work in one day, most take a few weeks to realy know if they are working...and you will have to "wean" yourself off of the Celexa.

Please L&H call your DR. I dont like the thoughts that you are having. I always just want to go to bed and never wake up, but never have I ever thought about killing myself. NEVER! And I am a diagnosed depressed person with anxiety. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> your thoughts are NOT NORMAL! cal your DR NOW!

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
I knnow that my thoughts are not right. I can't help it. i am doing my best to control it. I just called the Dr.'s office. Hope to get something different.

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 622
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 622
I've thought of it a few times and had the gun in my hand, but then I think if I do this what chance do I have at getting my W back. I also couldn't do this to my family. The final thing I thought about if I was gone then my WW and OM would move into the house where my W and I started our dreams together and I just don't want to picture that. I also get mad at them enough to say my life is not worth what they did to me. If it doesn't work out my life will go on.

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 3,042
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 3,042
Hi to all,
I've thought about suicide since I was a kid. I attempted when I was 8, took a whole bottle of tylenol and had to have my stomache pumped (when I say I had a horrible childhood, I'm not kidding).

I always kept it on the back burner, like an escape route that I could always use later, if I needed to. I never considered it in my 1st M, by the time I left, I hated my ex to much to give him the satisfaction. Didnt consider it.

I thought about it again after dday #2, just 18 months ago. This world was just NOT worth the trouble.

I learned how much strength I had after dday. I knew I had some, I survived my childhood afterall (it got worse after my suicide attempt, btw. I finally got my own and became an emancipated minor at 16), but not the strength that I have now. I'm not giving up. To hell with everyone. SCREWED UP PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE.

Get angry at them, at the situation, but hold on to yourself.

Also, I've developed a great friendship over the years with a great woman. NOW, I have to think... 'I cant to that to her'. She would be devestated and VERY mad at me. I never had family I was worried about, but this friend may have kept me on this planet longer than I would have, otherwise. It suprised me when I realized how important she'd become.

Find something to hang on to till it passes. I've never regretted NOT doing it. Everyone please, please take care of yourselves - Dru

Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
Hi All,

If you ever think about suicide or you feel like you are et the end of your rope (crisis) ... just remember to dial 1-800-Suicide. You will be connected to the nearest Crisis Center for your county. If you live in San Mateo County ... I am a volunteer there to take the call <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> 4 hrs/week.

You don't need to state your name or addy ... we are there to listen and to help refer you to any available resource such as agency that have shelter for woman w/ kids.

Just remember 1-800-Suicide.

-rh-

Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12
M
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 12
Suicide is not the answer to the pain, fear and depression many are going through. The saying, "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" is so true. And the legacy it leaves behind is beyond comprehension. For your children and all the people who will be affected by your death, and there are usually many more than you may think, there will be an increased likelihood of some of them taking the same way out someday. And even if they don't, you will be sentencing them to a lifetime of guilt, hurt, pain and unanswerable questions about why you chose to leave them, why you chose to inflict so much pain on them and why you didn't love them enough to keep fighting to survive.
In addition to the pain, there will also be tremendous anger. At times, the people closest to you will curse you, wish they could do you physical harm, and yes, they will hate you. At times. Then the whole cycle of pain and guilt will start again. So many happy times will turn sad because they wish you were there to share that moment or because they are unable to be truly happy because you are not there. Your pain has ended, their's has just begun.
My husband committed suicide on Oct. 3, 2004. 6 months ago this Saturday. My life will never be the same again. I would not wish this on anyone, I would never leave this legacy to the people I care about.
Leanne

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,925
Heard you. Suicide is not a solution. But living in this life is not fun either.

Page 1 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
2 members (Jadedhusband, 1 invisible), 12 guests, and 57 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
cbm800, Dodo M, Kingpin, MikaylaVaux, I.P.
71,728 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,546
Posts2,322,790
Members71,729
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5