Have I ever told you you're my hero ? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You friendship and wisdom encourages me to dig deeper and examine myself...

You are a blessing.

Thank you. ♥

Love, Susan

<small>[ June 04, 2004, 03:26 PM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

She is my hero, too! We love ya, Pep! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Pep
your insight is amazing...

and may I be so very bold to tell you that since your mom's passing...your wisdom holds much Grace...and the ability to see things with an even more loving perspective...
No doubt she is with you stronger than ever...

but enough about you... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

ARK

<small>[ June 03, 2004, 10:05 AM: Message edited by: ark^^ ]</small>

You friendship and wisdom encourages me to dig deeper and examine myself...

Well... I feel that my last email to you was a bit of a heavy load ... and maybe way too much to put into your head...

But, this is a process I am STILL working out.

I am somewhat using you as a sounding board..

I have shared everything I wrote to you with Mr. Pep (more or less as it was going down) , and he has helped me out sooooo much!

I just HAVE to find the lesson in this pain... it would be too much to bear if it did not contain something of value.

Still searching... and trying to be quiet sometimes too... because I've learned that sometimes the very best things are delivered only to a quiet mind.

Pep

PS.. HI MEL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

No doubt she is with you stronger than ever...

This is true.

Have you read this book?

"The Five People You Meet In Heaven"

Thanks Ark.

Pep

Luv ya too , Pep! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Such a treasure for MB!!

And yes, I read "The Five People You Meet in Heaven",,,GREAT story!

For anyone that hasn't read it,,don't read the last couple of chapters at work!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Well... I feel that my last email to you was a bit of a heavy load ... and maybe way too much to put into your head...

But, this is a process I am STILL working out.

I am somewhat using you as a sounding board..

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sound away...

I'm looking for my lesson in it too. (you know my daily struggle)

Thank you for allowing me to stand close...and I hope that in some way I can make the burden easier.


Susan

Can I come live with you for one week? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> how about just a few days then? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Nope..will add it to my summer reading list..

I did read

The lone ranger and Tonto fist fight in heaven..
good one....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I did read

The lone ranger and Tonto fist fight in heaven.. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ark! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I thought that was a joke, but I see it was not.

When Pep recommends a book to me, I rush right out and buy it....she's always on target.

Susan

Pep,

While I realize this is a "girls" thread, I thought in the name of Equal Rights, I would join in and say you are indeed an amazing person and your insightful comments and posts on this board are what make it special.

I ALWAYS enjoy and learn something from your posts.

God Bless,

JL

Can I come live with you for one week? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> how about just a few days then?

I'm not all that much fun right now... but I am "interesting"...

Last evening Mr. and I walked to Starbucks (about 1 mile) and were sitting enjoying the end of the day ... and a thought crossed my mind....

suddenly I am weeping... heaving shoulders... screwed up face...

It lasted about 5 minutes... then it was back to our regular programing.

Such weird twists this grieving!

I had a thought I wanted to share with my Mom... and knowing I never would... it just flicked the ~weep now in public~ switch, and I was off to the races!

Pep

Thanks everyone...

the concept I am currently working on....

"surrender"

any thoughts?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'm not all that much fun right now... but I am "interesting"... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thaz ok...I'm not into this only for the fun... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I'm hesitant to ask this...

but

have you seen your mom in crowds yet?

(I know you see her in the mirror every day <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

I still see people that remind me of my dad...or a person in a crowd that (maybe from behind) looks like my dad...and it suddenly takes my breath for a sec...

Has this happened to you yet?

<small>[ June 03, 2004, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

Pepper,

Surrender to what???

You seem to be missing something very important or at least it is to me. You DID share your thought with your Mom, because you carry her within you. You are to some degree her, what she valued, what she shared with you, what she taught you, her history... it is all within you.

So please do grieve, but in my mind, you have lost less than you realize, and gained more than you thought.

God Bless,

JL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Thanks everyone...

the concept I am currently working on....

"surrender"

any thoughts? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes...let's start here

my first thought on surrender is...

Surrender TO

My question for you....

Surrender what to what?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Great minds do think alike.

We posted at the same time, JL, and I agree.

Also, I'm the editor of this thread, and just where did I say it was for chicks only? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

surrender

to

truth

life

circumstances

reality

Hey,

I just go where the "chicks" hang out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Do you see any other guys on this thread?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Seriously, I think Pep deserves a lot of "thank you's" for what she does here. I also realize she just lost a parent and that is a very very hard thing to handle. Yet, it is the way of things. It is why we have children, they guarentee our immortality because they are part of us. It is just hard to see that in the middle of the loss.

I lost my father 16 years ago, and I still hear his voice, see things that remind me of him, and find myself using his words and insights with my kids. They were all very young when he passed so they only know him through me. But, I try to convey to them who he was.

My W lost both of her parents even longer ago. It is something you heal from but it is a loss you never really get over because you want to share your life with them.

But, it is the nature of things that it is our job to carry them with us. At least that is what I think it is.

Glad to see you around these parts again Susan. You are another special person on this site. I know that if you and Pep are corresponding, you will be able to help each other a great deal.

God Bless,

JL

<small>[ June 04, 2004, 12:17 PM: Message edited by: Just Learning ]</small>

how?

remember when you told me...."push Susan....you are having a baby, push!"

Pushhhhhhh <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

surrender
to
ageing
gravity
human nature

I am begining to believe that the action or the verb is not as important...as our internal state of Grace...

so be the action

surrender....

the answer will come with prayer....

I keep telling myself that no matter what comes ahead...
right now I am blessed..more than I deserve...

I fail more than I succeed in my pursuits...
but I try to stay grateful...

JUSTLEARNING....just the fact that you KNOW I am not a he...makes me grateful... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
now if you want a good jello recipe... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

ARK

surrender to God and his Grace first...
the rest will come...or even better..
be revealed as not as difficult as once believed...

surrender to God's Grace

this works for me.

Thanks

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">surrender to God and his Grace first...
the rest will come...or even better..
be revealed as not as difficult as once believed... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ding! Ding! Ding!

And you, Ark, win the prize, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

for herein lies the true answer.

and I believe that Pep has already surrendered...

It is her love and humility that keeps her in that constant state of surrendering....

Susan

Just to add another "male" thought. I agree and appreciate all your postings Pep! Pep, Ark keep posting. We love you!

I haven't been posting much lately, I feel too down. Threads like these help the spirits!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It is why we have children, they guarentee our immorality because they are part of us. It is just hard to see that in the middle of the lose. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">JL: I think you meant "immortality" not "immorality" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

JL: I think you meant "immortality" not "immorality"

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Priceless! Of all people and of all boards!

Susan <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

EGAD!, where is the hands covering my face graemlin???? Should I edit it or just let people have a laugh? Pep is NEVER going to let me live this down, Heck neither will Susan. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Pep,

I think you have gotten the right advice and the right idea. Surrender is perhaps the right thought as expressed by everyone here. But, also know that this like everything else takes time. You will find your peace and state of grace, give yourself time to grieve.

God Bless,

JL

From the sublime -

surrender to
truth
life
circumstances
reality

to the Ridiculous -
surrender to
aging
gravity
human nature

Well, actually all of it is sublime - really, it is.

surrender to God's Grace
this works for me.

After the first page, I was going to ask for more background, but since you have already given it on page two, I will comment.

Once you come to know God, you realize that God knows what will make you the happiest, and the most successful. When you know that, you know that surrender to God is the only way to achieve victory.

In this case - surrender = victory. The only way to reach your full potential.


truth - We modify truth depending on our moods. Is our spouse a kind, loving helpful person, or a mean, spiteful grouch? What's the truth? A little of both? God knows things as they really are, and things as they really will be. Something worth knowing.

life - Does life change us, or do we change life? If our attitude improves, can it alter our state of happiness? Does that change our life?

circumstances - Things are as they really are, and not otherwise. It's good to work with what we have.

reality - You can't work very well with things you don't understand. All these mentioned so far are related.

aging - with plastic surgery, or with wisdom and grace? does surrender mean acceptance?
Can you do it right will all of the above? I love to ask the questions, but I don't always have the answers.

gravity - I keep fighting this one. I think the hole in the ozone layer lets in more gravity nowadays, because it seems harder to do pushups, and I notice when I hike it is harder to walk up the hills.

human nature - and this one. My nature is to be lazy..... to get angry when I don't like something, and to be grumpy when things don't go my way. I think I can change these over time. My wife is betting on it - thank goodness she hasn't given up on me.

I also think highly of Pepperband - and.........I won't name all of you, but a great many of the folks I love and respect on MB have posted on this thread. Thanks to all of you.

I'll add another one to surrender to - and I think you gals (and guys - the ones I know anyway,) have done a good job with this one.

Humor

SS

<small>[ June 03, 2004, 02:28 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Pep, I too thank you for all the great work that you do.

How about this...surrender to happiness BY surrendering those things that prevent it.

Oftentimes we actually prevent our own happiness by refusing to surrender things like our own resentment
pain
past
insecurity
fear

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by star*fish:

How about this...surrender to happiness BY surrendering those things that prevent it.

Oftentimes we actually prevent our own happiness by refusing to surrender things like our own resentment
pain
past
insecurity
fear</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK ... very nice...

I am resentment free at the moment... but not pain-free... because I am grieving... and I suppose I must surrender to my grief and let myself swim in it for awhile.

Like I said, this grief reaction kicks me out of the blue sometimes... and I just let go and cry like a hungry baby with dirty diapers <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I LOVE what SS said....

surrender to humor... I am good at that! Thinking of myself in diapers made me LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pep

pep - Surrender to the grief and wallow in it. Then cry and cry and cry some more.

You have lost someone you love. It is normal to grieve, but our society teaches us differently.

I lost my dear friend and roommate to cancer 15 years ago. I still think about her everyday. I cried till I had no tears. Time has softened the pain, but not eliminated it. Mostly now I think of the happier times.

YOU... the freckle faced redhead in diapers?

This I gotta see! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

ARC...I'm so sorry for being one of those people who thought that you were a man!! I guess that I associated your name with Noah <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I humbly apologize for that error. No "man" could have your sensitivity and insight...just kidding JL. You at the top of my list too! Pep is wonderful!!

I found this 2ple of paragraphs in "The Power of Now" (Eckhart Tolle) 2 be interesting. But before I 2uote here, I want 2 point out that you are one of those people that least requires 2uotes like this. ...maybe it's for me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

"When there is no way out, there is still always a way *through*. So don't turn away from the pain. Face it. Feel it fully. *Feel* it - don't *think* about it! Express it if necessary, but don't create a script in your mind around it. Give all your attention to the feeling, not to the person, event, or situation that seems to have caused it. Don't let the mind use the pain to create a victim identity for yourself out of it. Feeling sorry for yourself and telling others your story will keep you stuck in suffering. Since it is impossible to get away from the feeling, the only possibility of change is to move into it; otherwise, nothing will shift. So give your complete attention to what you feel, and refrain from mentally labeling it. As you go into the feeling, be intensely alert. At first, it may seem like a dark and terrifying place, and when the urge to turn away from it comes, observe it but don't act on it. Keep putting your attention on the pain, keep feeling the grief, the fear, the dread, the loneliness, whatever it is. Stay alert, stay present - present with your whole Being, with every cell of you body. As you do so, you are bringing a light into this darkness. This is the flame of your consciousness."

Pep, you've brought so much light in2 ol' 2long's darkness over the past 2ple of years with your concise, 2 the point, thoughtful, insightful, compassionate posts.

Thanks loads! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-ol' 2long

<small>[ June 03, 2004, 11:35 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

OH GREAT! JL just gave the next batch of WS's a whole new justification for infidelity. "I had to do it, I have kids". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I love this part!

"When there is no way out, there is still always a way *through*. So don't turn away from the pain. Face it. Feel it fully. *Feel* it - don't *think* about it! Express it if necessary, but don't create a script in your mind around it. Give all your attention to the feeling, not to the person, event, or situation that seems to have caused it.

This makes the feeling blameless. The feeling simply "is what it is". Therefore, my feeling belongs to me. I own it. I am responsible for it. And this is empowering.

Like they say in the Al Anon meetings...

"over our own lives"

Don't let the mind use the pain to create a victim identity for yourself out of it.

Lisa.... are you reading here too? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Feeling sorry for yourself and telling others your story will keep you stuck in suffering. Since it is impossible to get away from the feeling, the only possibility of change is to move into it; otherwise, nothing will shift. So give your complete attention to what you feel, and refrain from mentally labeling it.

Puting a lable on feelings gives one the false sense of being able to control those feelings.

As you go into the feeling, be intensely alert. At first, it may seem like a dark and terrifying place, and when the urge to turn away from it comes, observe it but don't act on it. Keep putting your attention on the pain, keep feeling the grief, the fear, the dread, the loneliness, whatever it is.

Very Zen like.

Stay alert, stay present - present with your whole Being, with every cell of you body. As you do so, you are bringing a light into this darkness. This is the flame of your consciousness."

This is just soooo beautiful.

Thanks buddy.

Pep

<strong> "When there is no way out, there is still always a way *through*. So don't turn away from the pain. Face it. Feel it fully. *Feel* it - don't *think* about it! Express it if necessary, but don't create a script in your mind around it. Give all your attention to the feeling, not to the person, event, or situation that seems to have caused it. Don't let the mind use the pain to create a victim identity for yourself out of it. Feeling sorry for yourself and telling others your story will keep you stuck in suffering. Since it is impossible to get away from the feeling, the only possibility of change is to move into it; otherwise, nothing will shift. So give your complete attention to what you feel, and refrain from mentally labeling it. As you go into the feeling, be intensely alert. At first, it may seem like a dark and terrifying place, and when the urge to turn away from it comes, observe it but don't act on it. Keep putting your attention on the pain, keep feeling the grief, the fear, the dread, the loneliness, whatever it is. Stay alert, stay present - present with your whole Being, with every cell of you body. As you do so, you are bringing a light into this darkness. This is the flame of your consciousness." </strong>

WOW! I have at least "wow" moment on these boards everday!

Thanks Pep, ark, JL, 2long, and many more that are helping make this journey! Your insight, wisdom and humor (immorality!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ) keep me sane! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Fraggles:

"Your insight, wisdom and humor (immorality!! ) keep me sane!"

Sometime, since this is a Marriage Builders website, the subject of "Marital Arts" should be discussed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-ol' 2long

OK OK!, I'll go back and fix it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

JL

HEE HEE, well JL - due to the new editing restrictions you're out of luck! It's in print FOR LIFE!

Here's looking forward to a weekend of immorality with my family! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hope4,

Nope, I am no longer "immoral" I AM... "immortal". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
Restrictions were lifted I think. Have a good weekend, and leave the "immoral" stuff to me,OK? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

God Bless,

JL

Pep...I've decided to follow the "sassy" people around and try to learn from them how to sass <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I got a chuckle out of it, JL. And from the rest of this thread I gain even better things than chuckles.

I've been listening to The Power of Now on CD in the car for the last few days. It's a nice way to do it -- there is nowhere like heavy traffic where you -really- want to be focused in the Now!

In the last year of grief, I've had to learn that it does come *through* to something else. That there is peace again, and stillness, and happiness and love.

In another place in Tolle's book, he says, "Nothing that is of value is ever lost." I think I agree with that, though it is hard to see it when faced with the death of a parent. And yet... taking the example of the moments of tears at Starbucks. I'm guessing that one of the aspects of it was the the sense of profound loss of connection that caused the grief -- that there was a thought that you couldn't share, a connection that was broken.

I have a feeling that in stillness, in the moments of surrender, in all that Is, in all that you feel, in all that you experience, in feeling the breath of living itself... that connection is still there.

I bet if you're very very quiet, in mind and in spirit, you'll find that it's there in ways that are more profound than you ever thought possible.

I'm not sure... but that's my guess.

Duplicate post... in its place, allow me to insert a small amount of something from a book that I love.

From The Prophet

Than Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death."

And he said:

You would know the secret of death.

But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?

The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.

If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;

And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.

Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.

Is the sheered not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?

Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink form the river of silence shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

<small>[ June 04, 2004, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: Just J ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Pep...I've decided to follow the "sassy" people around and try to learn from them how to sass </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Welcome Lisa. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Doncha just luv her? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> (pep, I mean)

Hang in there. I've been right where you are.

Susan

My secretary read THe Power of Now and it really spoke to her - so I got it too! It's amazing!! But I haven't made it all the way through yet. She also got me Stillness Speaks for my bday. Same info - condensed form.

ok..since this is kind of a "roast thread" for pepper can I be nosy and ask for all the personal details, ie age, former bs or ws?, kids? married?. All the things that women generally want to know about each other.

ok..since this is kind of a "roast thread" for pepper can I be nosy and ask for all the personal details, ie age, former bs or ws?, kids? married?. All the things that women generally want to know about each other.

ok...since this is kind of a "pep roast" thread I would like to inquire about pepper a little bit. Age, former ws or bs, married and if so for how long etc etc. Pep, you will tell me if I'm getting too personal.

sorry for the duped post, I didn't think that the first one went through.

A roast??? I thought I was in charge of the barbeque?

While we're on the tribute theme, I love Pepper's posts too---it usually means that I don't have to post my usual speil---she's already done such a good job herself!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yes, Lisa, you can ask as many times as you want. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Told you I had been where you are... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I even asked the same question years ago. I've got a link. Give me a little time to do some digging.

Unless Pep would rather type it all out again... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Pep?

Would you rather post it?

I've got the link to when you told me your story, but I think it's on my laptop instead of my desktop pc.

Suz

I often add Pepper to my Roast - what other culinary techniques are we to learn today?

Originally posted by Susan:


Would you rather post it?

MY story...? That old thing? I think I don't remember!

THAT'S how OLD I am!

Lisa, I am officially 104 years old. Minus 50 .

I am BS. I am recovered to the point where I have to CONCENTRATE to really recall the pain! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

My H is the man of my dreams ... now. He had a 2 year "thing" with his best friend's wife. (not nice) H got caught. Both OW and H tried to lie their way out of it. The usual D-Day disasters took place. Some of it seems funny to me now. (Putting H's belongings in a giant pile in the garage) Some things I am ashamed of. (names I called H) Some things I did were wild. (I kicked our Christmas tree to death! )

H was a drinker at the time... and has had 8 years sobriety and AA step work ... which makes him a man filled with insights, integrity, and a healthy sense of who he is moment to moment.

What the hell else? I am in the grieving process having lost my Mom 2 months ago.

We have 2 kids. Once of whom is trying to drive me crazy... and I am in Al Anon trying NOT to go crazy.

This life is mine. I own it. I am grateful for all my problems, they have made me a better person.

As will yours.

Pep

Wow! No wonder you have such wisdom!!! Maybe I'll be as wise as you in 11 year since I'm 43 this year. Do you think? I do like the "beating the Christmas tree" thing!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> My mom went through this with my dad when I was 18 years old. My married the OW, divorced her and remarried my mom. The one thing I remember about my mom is coming home one night and her sitting at the table eating grits (I live in GA) and drinking beer!! Yuck <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> She tried to drink but couldn't, it's a good thing!!

pep...thanks for sharing your past. I'm sorry about the problems you're having with the one kid and about losing your mother recently. I know that's got to be hard for you. You have such a vivacious personality here that shines through even in written form. Thanks for sharing it with people like me who need to quit taking things so seriously and laugh for a change.

Maybe one day I'll be able to look back and laugh at some of the stupid things that I've done over the last two years. I know that I will become a stronger person for it. What's the saying, If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger or something like that!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> sitting at the table eating grits (I live in GA) and drinking beer!! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL...

Lisa I'm in MS.

Pep is in LA where they know nuthin' about grits!

as in Los Angeles, not Louisiana

I introduced Pep to "grits" a good while back. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> It was funny!

Her question was: "how do you eat them?" LOL

I introduced Pep to "grits" a good while back. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> It was funny!

Her question was: "how do you eat them?" LOL

I like grits. I eat mine with a spoon.

Pep

Pep...Do you like grits?

Pep...Do you like grits?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
I like grits. I eat mine with a spoon.

See what I mean? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> She thinks it's breakfast cereal.

I eat mine with a fork, how about you Lisa?

Pep, don't you remember when I told you..."put salt & pepper & butter on them"... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Suz...
I eat my DElicious grits with a SPOON!

And butter and cinnamon and brown sugar... and some taco sauce! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ June 04, 2004, 03:58 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

pep...yuck!!! You ruined a perfectly good southern dish that only requires salt, pepper and butter but I do give you credit for eating them!! I like mine with cheese too!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And butter and cinnamon and brown sugar... and some taco sauce! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
spewed my coffee on the screen on that one! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Susan <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Bye to my southern gal pals...

I am going to take two lovely 14 year-old chickies to see the Harry Potter movie.

And maybe, afterward, we'll pull into the drive through grits restaurant and have grits a'la mode.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pep

have a good one pepper!!

and remember...

Never wear panties to a party...and that includes the grits drive-in.

Susan

<small>[ June 04, 2004, 04:26 PM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

Pepperband:

I know this thread is a couple days old (things don't drop off the map nearly this fast where I usually hang out) but I wanted to add my own gold star to your rapidly filling report card.

You consistently give the best, most thought-provoking advice on any of the boards here.

Having lost my own mom two weeks before Christmas and two months before my daughter was born this year, I know how those weird moments of grief can catch you unawares and steal your breath away. I get knocked on my butt on a regular basis. My inner child had a hellacious tantrum on Mothers Day, at church, no less.

But I'm also caught unawares by the little "love notes" God places in the circumstances of my life--little odd "coincidences" that show me He is thinking of me, knows my pain, and cares for me. I pray that you see the same.

But I'm also caught unawares by the little "love notes" God places in the circumstances of my life--little odd "coincidences" that show me He is thinking of me, knows my pain, and cares for me. I pray that you see the same.

Thanks ... I think this may help me stay awake to the blessings.

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

This thread was flowing so well after the initial praises to Pep, that I didn't want to interupt it with more. But seeing it morphed into "gritty" talk - I eat mine with a little butter and with a fork - I guess it's time I also added my admiration to a wise lady.

Thanks, Pep, for being you.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
WAT
----------------
No matter where you go, there you are.

Well, I felt silly to come out of lurkdome to bump up this thread, but since WAT did it, I wanted to share my admiration for Pep also. (thanks WAT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

I read through this thread last night, and I'm so glad I did. The discussion on this thread is what I needed right now... having a hard time with some things.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> and some very wise thoughts are expressed here.

Pep... Orchid knows she's my adopted big Sis. Whether you know it or not... you are too. You don't know how much I lurk and admire your advice and strength.

and so many others...

Thank you all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />