Curious Gray.....your boundaries with women as a still married man. How are you approaching it? I've been out with "the boys" a few times and sense a level of aggressiveness in the female population that I have never sensed before. Of course I have not been single for nearly 20 years and do not know whether to attribute it to changing times or different demographics I run in now. What would you say to a woman that had piqued your interest and becomes "aggressive"?

Oh…and the pressure washer worked much better than the spinning brushes on the little tykes…..they didn’t like those much.

Hi all,

We have survived another day.


I need to get me one of those Russian brides...


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Binder, I was referring to the only pair you'll ever have, the ones you were born with. Keep the pressure washer off 'em!

Okay, my boundaries? I'm going to be divorced any second. All the paperwork is filed. The sparrow is not going to show up at my door and ask me to forgive her and take her back. Not a chance. I've been grieving and fighting to save my marriage for over a year.

You may remember I made a couple of attempts to date several weeks ago. Both attempts completely bombed.

My impression of the women out there, so far, is not that they're aggressive. They seem terribly guarded to me. If a woman I was attracted to started chasing me, I would go for it. I don't have to marry anybody, right?

Maybe you need to elaborate. Give me an example. Are you thinking about your little skirmish with the bar girl?

GC

Well, I had a look at the "over 30" group and many of them seemed like interesting people. I'm still married, so I didn't save any bookmarks or sign-up or anything. It's just nice to know that there are possibilities. The strange thing is, I'm absolutely certain that if I want to marry again, I can. At the same, time I'm almost as certain that I'll end up right back where I am now. But, I think that this fatalism should be laid aside.

GC, I'm 13 years older than you - and in 13 years, I'll be 60. I don't want to look back from 60 and say "I shoulda tried." Whichever way I have to go, I'm not going to live the rest of my life alone - and I may, if God is very good to me, have more kids. Will I "end up" happy? Who knows, but if I don't do anything I'll end up dead. If I do "do something", I'll still end up dead, but at least I'll have adventures.

-AD

Binder and GC,

To explain the different results...

Maybe Binder is Dr. Studley - and GC looks kinda like me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

-AD

GC - I've seen "the Birthday Girl". Pretty interesting movie. And 34 is NOT ANCIENT. I'm 38, now for a woman in modern day botoxed-world context, wldn't that be "ancient"?!!!

AD -- there are some "OLDER" men out there who are still pretty good catches, I have to say. It prob depends on outlook... I think generally, people are attracted to people who are happy about themselves and have this aura abt them. Regardless of age!

~A

Yeah, Binder is the pretty one.

Geez...over my head on "the pair"......sorry, wit took a break on me there. Must be another sign of age....~sigh~.

OK....using you as a sounding board and trying to see if I'm comfortable with present philosophy and comparing it to others.

Bar girl has not called anymore ...more to the story, but nothing I will share in a public forum.

Fast forward to last Friday. I was at the pub (not a bistro...by the way, did it even have urinals?) with some friends from work. Over comes this woman who dated one of my coworkers years ago. I'd like to say I was attracted to her clever conversation and wit, but in reality it was her black dress and how she filled it out. A bombshell.

We were just leaving and I knew I'd likely not see her again. Soooo, getting bold in my old age I gave her my card and said I'd like to chat sometime. Thinking it a long shot at best I didn't give it much more thought, but low and behold on Mon. morning I find a message from her in my account. She's 32, educated and a single mom of a 10 yr. old.

We've been emailing clever messages back and forth including some humorous clips and commercials...the usual stuff that flies between offices. We even met for a beer. Well after that meeting the messages she's sent me have been getting progressively racier to the point of outright pornographic….I mean really pornographic. Stuff I'd never keep on my computer! I'm a little scared....and that's hard to do!

I've already decided that until I'm divorced I won’t be getting physical with anybody. I get the impression that she's not used to hearing "no" and I find myself hoping that I hear from my lawyer that the deal is done so I don’t have to.

I know that the solution is to simply avoid the situation. I’ve permitted myself to develop friendships now, but I’m starting to feel even that has it’s pitfalls. I’m 41 yr. old man and feeling like I’m in friggin High School again…...as a girl!!

Binder, I think I get it. Something gets started, and it turns into naughty sexy fun before you have a real feeling for the person. Pretty soon you're in a sexual relationship and you don't even know how much you like this person.

I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't want to enter into any situations that make me feel like there's not much meaning to my life.

Here's to hoping I have these kinds of worries soon.

GC

Yeah.....sorta like the hangover from cheap wine.....is it worth it. I'm not looking for a relationship per se after the divorce. I also know that rebounding into one is not healthy.

I want to be single, celebrate it, embrace it and conquer it. This is not really what I had in mind though.

You said it best weeks ago: "Chicks"

Anyways, I'm hitting the sack, gotta get my son to school in the morning and have to stop by work for a quick meeting though it's my day off.

I'm scared to check my email.

Well, I had 2 work 2day - big meeting 2morrow - then review a 2ple things 2night before hitting the sack and getting up early in the morning...

just finished.

Binder:

Do what I did (but for different reasons) when a woman sends you racy jokes and stuff in emails. I would send jokes like that back, but cc other people, so it's not between us 2 only. She'll get the hint, and it won't necessarily put her off in the process (and maybe it'll just slow things up a bit so you CAN be a "free man" when the time is right!).

-ol' 2long

Graycloud, and Binder,
You guys are way over my head. (because I ducked)


SLH,
Tell me why things changed. I caught that one sentence.

I thought about you while I was at camp. Late at night I saw the moon. A silver orb, seemingly tossed by the wind, framed by the clouds. (though it was the clouds that moved, not the moon.) Sometimes the world almost seems like a dream, we forget our worries, and float on the wind ourselves. The magic of life is best shared with a lover, you feel you are loosing yours.

I wondered how a poet married a scientist, and if she knew what she was getting into.

Then I thought it was probably better than two poets, if the poet and the scientist can learn to communicate.

So, tell me how things are.

SS

Still Seeking,

Do you know anyone who's single, closer to my age (I'll be 38 in October), and other than those two things, very much like you?

Because if you do, I would really love to entertain a marriage proposal from that person.

(taking a beer from the freezer...didja know it only takes 7 min in the freezer b4 they turn into beer slurpees???)

Is there a log available for the chica from SAT?

- Kimmy

My oh my, now we can start playing ROCK.

GC

>My oh my, now we can start playing ROCK.


Is there something else to be played???? 'Sides punk polka, I mean.

- Kimmy

J,
I think about you often. I still need to talk to you some more, but.........
Some things I don't know how to say.

You flatter me. I suppose I have not thought much about how I am.

Pretty plain. Mostly ordinary.

Daughter picked first tomatoes today. Not quite ripe, but better than store bought. No doubt there will be plenty - stop by on the way home from work.

I'll think on your question.

I have a lot of wishes, but near the top is my wish for your happiness.

Life is simple, but not easy.
You just find the truth, and live it.

SS

It's got 2 be some KING CRIMSON, then!

"Starless and Bible Black", specifically: a hard driving, screaming distorted guitars and heavy drums instrumental on the flip side of the "Starless and Bible Black" album.

Vinyl. No damned "digitally remastered" CDs.

It's the right thing 2 do.

"Beer. It's what's for dinner!"

-ol' 2long

>Not quite ripe

Fried green 'maters anyone? It's a special-ailty o'mine!

Num! They're best from the garden anyway!

>"Beer. It's what's for dinner!"

Had a sweatshirt I inherited from my mom..."Beer, breakfast of champions." She wore it early in her pregancy with me. Guess it rubbed off.

I get the feeling that half the communication on this thread is through some back-channel. I havent' the foggiest what you good folks are talking about. Some kinda music and beer's all I could tell.

I'm a musical ignoramus and I don't drink, so that could explain it.

But just so I can impress somebody, if I'm ever in a situation where I have to order beer, I'll order "Cooper's triple-x Stout". Would it work, do you think (to impress anybody). <I would put one of those little smiley's here, but all of them look so *&^%@! feminin. We need some manly smileys!>

-AD