Weaver?

W-E-A-V-E-R !!!!!!!!

Anyone seen Weaver?

SS

Oh, and SLH,
We're waiting to hear that H took the WHOLE weekend off, and spent time with his family.

???

SS

Oh, and SLH,
We're waiting to hear that H took the WHOLE weekend off, and spent time with his family.

LOL SS. He took the whole weekend off all right <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. . . we were going to go to Dallas to visit with family. . . but then I opted out. Nothing serious going on at all. I just wanted some time alone for a change, after having had charge of the our 3 grils 24/7 for the past few months. *VBG*. I spent the entire holiday weekend sleeping in, catching up on my reading, riding my horse, posting ocassionally, and out with friends. It was really nice.

Thanks for asking.

How was your holiday? Was it all you had hoped for?

Gray, I'm sorry yours wasn't as enjoyable as you had hoped. It does sound like you accomplished a heck of a lot, though. What are you doing to your fireplace again?

UVA, nice to meet you. How was your weekend?

Faithful, I didn't get to respond to your email earlier, but HALELUJAH!!!

I wonder how Weaver's weekend went. She had a concert to attend, didn't she?

SLH

tap tap tap...Weaver???

Hey SLH, read a book, sleep, rest and out with friends? Exactly what are those things? j/k good for you.

SLH,
All of you stayed home, or H and girls went to visit, and you stayed home alone?

SS

Weaver did have plans to go to a concert, but she never said (to my knowledge) how long she would be gone.

Must have been fun, and maybe she went to visit family while she was at it.

I really doubt if she got lost...............I am sure she didn't.....................Pretty sure...........mostly sure.

SS

OH, and my holiday was good. Mowed all my dad's lawns, fixed his sprinklers, trimed his trees, and didn't even have to go into work once. What a restful time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

At least the lawns, sprinklers, and trees in question were in a small town in the mountains where it's cool, and quiet.

SS

H took the 3 kiddos and met with his bro and parents in Dallas.

I hung out at home by myself -- HEAVEN! Stayed up late, snacked on Wendys' (eat great, even late, LOL) watched silly sci-fi marathons, rode my horse, ate Mexican with some friends, stayed in bed and read frivilous novels while posting occasionally. Sheer bliss!

Sometimes I really crave some alone time, you know?

Be back later guys.

SLH

I hung out at home by myself -- HEAVEN!

So, part of what has been driving you nuts is lack of domestic support. You have the same problem he does, no rest, ever.

Until now.

I am still thinking though. I may have tried to pawn the kids off on a sitter, and spent the time with spouse doing those same things.

I can see I lack data. Either that, or he doesn't ride.

SS

LOL, SS. Ti doesn't ride. Allergic, though he ties to acclimate, and usually does if he's around my boy for any length of time. One day he'd like to. . . one day. . .

Both his folks and brother live over 5 hours away, in different directions. He hadn't seen either in over a year, which is why I wasn't inclined to ask him to stick around. The girls hadn't seen their unlce in over 2 years. So, I begged out. Hubby wasn't thrilled but was happy to provide me with a break.

Before I was married, I really liked being alone. I'm comfortable with it, like it. I miss it sometimes.

It was worth it, trust me. I really needed this. Not that I don't love Ti, but I just wanted to be alone. I think I've just been overstimulated these last few months with having my hands so bloody full all the time -- full-time kids (he was working those 14 hour days), all those household responsabilities (regular housewife chores + all the lawn care, home improvement, small car stuff, etc)-- not being able to just sit down for a moment and just BE Me -- always rushing around and being a mom, a cook, a lover, a maid, etc.

Sometimes it feels good to just say I am, you know? And I think that's all I wanted.

I know I recaptured a huge part of myself this weekend, a part I hadn't glimpsed in some time. H came back happy and motivated and has started the week off with flying colors towards improving things, in conjunction to what he has been doing these last few weeks. I have no complaints. I am, actually, quite buoyant.


(me me me me me me)

How are YOU?


slh

Ti doesn't ride. Allergic, though he ties to acclimate, and usually does if he's around my boy for any length of time. One day he'd like to. . . one day. . .

If he had some of that elusive time - which is so hard to catch these days. Almost an endangered species.



Both his folks and brother live over 5 hours away, in different directions. He hadn't seen either in over a year, which is why I wasn't inclined to ask him to stick around.


Five hours is not that far these days. A year is a long time when they are five hours away. Data is helpful. This was a big weekend in many ways.

The girls hadn't seen their unlce in over 2 years. So, I begged out. Hubby wasn't thrilled but was happy to provide me with a break.

Hmmmmm,
That talk would weight heavy on his mind - but I shouldn't tease you about serious things.

Before I was married, I really liked being alone. I'm comfortable with it, like it. I miss it sometimes.

The missing data. Thanks, I hate missing peices when I try to put things together about people. You needed some you time. All of us do. Luke 4:1

You understand I don't claim to be an expert at helping people. This is interresting though, and what a wonderful thing it is to know so many great people such as yourself, and those others I meet here. (You all know who you are, except for Gray, who is modest, and I name him on purose.)

It was worth it, trust me. I really needed this.

I trust you. I wanted to understand you also.


Not that I don't love Ti, but I just wanted to be alone. I think I've just been overstimulated these last few months with having my hands so bloody full all the time -- full-time kids (he was working those 14 hour days), all those household responsabilities (regular housewife chores + all the lawn care, home improvement, small car stuff, etc)-- not being able to just sit down for a moment and just [b]BE Michelle -- always rushing around and being a mom, a cook, a lover, a maid, etc. [/b]

As I have read your comments the past month or so, I worried about these things, but for both of you. He may say he is doing well now, (after the trip, and seeing family) but he may not take the time that he needs for him either. I don't know if you can give it to him - if you did, would he realize he needed it, and accept it?

I would guess that one weekend is not enough for you either.
Besides alone time, you need couple time. Lots of it. Dr Harley is not crazy, and sure, you can get by on less, but the feelings that come when you get closer to 15 hours approach the rush of young love all over again. Trust me, he knows what he is talking about. Quite a rush too - if you will remember.

Sometimes it feels good to just say I am, you know? And I think that's all I wanted.

I know.
These things need to be in your plans. Not grabbed when you can get them, but planned in. Remember, after the kids are raised, you and Ti will be together, and you will have to live with YOU also. Make life ritch, and rewarding, not drudgery. It's work to get it going, but ..........well, what do you want out of life? If you are not getting it, make changes until you are. So often we trade what we think we want, for what we really want - but we only realize it after it's too late. I am so happy you two are working on it now, while you are still in love, and while your family can make positive changes.


I know I recaptured a huge part of myself this weekend, a part I hadn't glimpsed in some time. H came back happy and motivated and has started the week off with flying colors towards improving things, in conjunction to what he has been doing these last few weeks. I have no complaints. I am, actually, quite buoyant.


We hope the colors continue to fly.
I was hoping you would report that you are making major progress on your family goals. I suppose this is it in one way. Thank you for helping me understand. I hope I can be of some help in the future - mostly by encouraging you.


(me me me me me me)

Make it caps, YOU are worth it. Realize you are in public, not just in private.

How are YOU?

I cope just like you do. Most days are good. Today is good. If I didn't ride the storm like everyone else, I wouldn't be of much use to anyone. I have learned to take time for me, when I need it. It is high on my list, and I don't give it up easily.

Sleep well, SLH, sleep well.

SS

I would like to apologize to everyone for being a big fat whiner lately. I think my posts give the wrong impression, that I'm stamping my feet and refusing to accept things as they are. That isn't the way I am, and it isn't how I feel. Though I admit to being annoyed that this stuff isn't behind me yet.

My mind is still caught up pondering the sparrow's future and I'm too preoccupied with house efforts.

My doctor thinks I should get back on the ADs for a few months. I told him I didn't want them to be a lifestyle. He agreed, but thinks I could use a little boost.

GC

Hi Gray,

I hadn't noticed any whining. And even we do feel like stamping our feet etc, so what?

We should refuse to accept things as they are. Things as they are, are all wrong.

And I don't think there ought to be a timetable for getting 'over it', or moving on or whatever...

Doctors are into relieving pain. But we are hurting and depressed and sad for a reason. We are supposed to feel sad. I think we are allowed to feel sad when these things are going on.

Breaking news here. Out of the blue, H has given ow back her cell phone and left her a note breaking it off with her. No contact.

He came home last night and told me, but it has been so busy at work that I haven't has time to process this new development.

I can't explain, but it feels real this time.

Gray, we're here to whine, sometimes. Unless it's a way of life with you (and I don't think that's the case) don't apologize.

Here, sometimes you can get support from others, prayers, or advice. This was once only YOUR thread, but you've made this a wonderful, secure place for us to come and share our stories, ask for advice, vent, and yes, let off steam. We are so glad you have. I love it here and appreciate that I can come here and chat. So often I have no where else to go. Thank you. Really.

Back to the AD's. . .
Someone (The missing Weaver?) mentioned that she did not want to go back on ADs after this last round with WDan because she needed to feel every emotion in order to truly heal; she needed to go through the entire situation processing every emotion as it was -- raw.

I could never do that, and I admire her courage. I've been on AD's off and on for years to help me with my Eating Disorder but find that, in fact, I need them. (Tom Cruise would have a heyday arguing with me and my "chemical imbalance".)

I can see where you would be concerned about AD's becoming a lifestyle. When would be a "safe" time to stop taking them (the Sparrow's always gonna be around). And AD's, beneficial as they are in "taking the edge off", do just that -- take the edge off. Personally, I've noticed that my Muse flees when my ADs are "on" -- she's rarely seen of. "Taking the edge off" means it does so for bad feelings, but good too, for me. Tiger says I am more subdued, less vibrant, have less joi de vive. Do your ADs effect your writing, your playing, your passion for life?

Sometimes it's a win-win sitch, but more often not.

I'm glad of mine (only 'cause the alternative is unthinkable), though I'd love to see what else is out there (Prozac since early 90s, off and on). Of course, when your PPO sends you a list with a handful of Psychs on it and none of them are accepting new patients for the next 5-6 months. . . argh! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />


slh

Breaking news here. Out of the blue, H has given ow back her cell phone and left her a note breaking it off with her. No contact. . .He came home last night and told me, but it has been so busy at work that I haven't has time to process this new development.

Shul, I only had a chance to glance at your post yesterday and couldn't reply, but didn't see this. I am praying your intuition is correct, bay, and that this lasts.

I do have concerns for his past violent behaviour, though (your first post) and I didn't know that part of your story. Would you share it? No 2X4s, I promise (I saw one of the replies, didn't agree). I'm just trying to get a clear understanding.

Been processing?

hugs and love,

slh

SLH, my ADs did well for me. Made me feel a little less crippled during the bad times. Did not affect anything else. I wrote more music on them than I've written since going off, actually.

Maybe it's good I started them up again today. Just heard from car4love, about her divorce, and it sure brought me down. What the hell? Two months ago, I felt great.

Tom Cruise is a silly man, but he also made Matt Lauer the fool the other day. Lauer was wholly unprepared to be challenged, and had clearly not done his homework and earned the right to question Cruise's kooky public statements. Lazy, lazy, lazy, like pretty much everybody in the mainstream news media.

GC

Shul, I'm not going to be happy for you yet. I'm gonna sit this one out. Don't go away!

GC

SS,

Luke 4:1. I love it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I don't think Lucifer was in attendance, except maybe in the form of coercing me into sheer laziness. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Forgot to mention that Ti's brother (who is an Engineer who constantly works, a bachelor and has indiscriminate amounts of money) sent home with H his motorcycle for H to work on (Riceburner; Ti will get half when its sold), so Ti is excited about using that as his "liesure time". I like bikes too and will enjoy helping him work on it provided the temps outside stay below 90 or so <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> So I guess that's an activity we could enjoy together, or he could enjoy alone.

We also got a lawnmower that is -gasp!- self-propelled (Uncle John just decided to hire a lawn service; Our mower isn't SP and mowing the lawn 2x week was so not fun), and a DVD burner.

I just love getting Uncle John's hand-me-downs. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

slh

Hold On
Tom Waits

They hung a sign up in our town
"If you live it up you won't live it down"
So she left Monte Rio, son
Just like a bullet leaves a gun

With her charcoal eyes and Monroe hips
She went and took that California trip
Well the moon was gold and her hair like wind
Said, Don't look back, just come on Jim

Oh, you got to hold on, hold on
You gotta hold on
Take my hand, standin' right here
You gotta hold on

Well he gave her a dimestore watch
And a ring made from a spoon
Everyone's lookin' for someone to blame
When you share my bed you share my name

Well go ahead, call the cops
You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops
She said baby I still love you
Sometimes there's nothing left to do

Oh, but you got to hold on, hold on
Baby gotta hold on
And take my hand, standin' right here
You gotta hold on

Well, God bless your crooked little heart
St. Louis got the best of me
I miss your broken China voice
How I wish you were still here with me

Oh you build it up, you wreck it down
Then you burn your mansion to the ground
Oh there's nothin' left to keep you here
But when you're fallin' behind in this big blue world

Oh, you've got to hold on, hold on
Baby, gotta hold on
Take my hand, standin' right here
You gotta hold on

Down by the Riverside Motel
It's ten below and falling
By a 99-cent store
She closed her eyes and started swaying

But it's so hard to dance that way
When it's cold and there's no music
Oh you're old hometown's so far away
But inside your head there's a record that's playin'

A song called hold on, hold on
Baby gotta hold on
Take my hand, standing right there
You gotta hold on

You gotta hold on, hold on
Baby gotta hold on
Take my hand, standin' right there
You gotta hold on

You gotta hold on, hold on
Baby gotta hold on
And take my hand, standin' right here
You gotta hold on

You gotta hold on, hold on
Baby gotta hold on
And take my hand, standin' right here
You gotta hold on

Oh, dear. I do need to re-read my posts before posting. Pertinent info and all.

Love that song.

Off to the gym.

Wish me luck. My calves are already crying. LOL

slh