SS, you describe the 15 hours per week as the rush of young love. Is that true? I know that I felt that rush this past weekend after spending two whole days with my H. Perhaps all the time spent talking on the phone to xOW etc.. provided that rush? I have asked that we make more of an effort to spend couple time together. We did go out for coffee last night which was nice. Hmmm.. a rush huh?

FF, I love those coffee dates. We used to play board games while we drank our coffee and listened to bands. Other times we'd talk and write little love notes and share with eachother interesting quotes from the books we were reading or poetry or the paper.

Have any of you single guys ever hit on a woman at the grocery store? There's plenty of single girls there. Just check the ring scene first.

Gray, may I ask what AD you are on? If you'd rather not share, I understand.

H is doing the dishes tonight -- has offered to do them every night. Dishes are the chore I loathe most abhorently on this planet -- I detest them. Him doing them is a wonderfully sweet gesture because he knows this about me, and knows I spend all that time in the kitchen trying to make a nice meal. And it means even more because I know he's been at work all day and doesn't want to have to come home and deal with dishes (who would) right off the bat, but we are in Give and Take mode.

Wow, SS. Colors.

slh

SLH, heh, I don't mind doing dishes, but I hate hate hate doing laundry.

I'm on Lexapro, dangit.

Grocery stores are awesome, though I've never chatted anyone up at one. I actually travel out of my neighborhood now and then to get groceries, 'cause all the women in this one are married.

In just a few minutes, I'll have fully unpainted all the trim on one of my windows. Big accomplishment! There are 11 pieces on each window, very tough to strip clean. I made a gigantic error in judgement when I decided to do this room in a natural finish. When I bought the house, in the bedrooms, there were five layers of wallpaper, cracked plaster underneath, and paint on everything. I'm about 90% of the way to having all of that old business removed. It's almost like a brand new room. Not really worth it though, in a practical sense, 'cause nobody cares that I've sunk this kind of energy into one little bedroom. To me it'll be a jewel though. Hope I get to stay here. I'm sure I'll turn into a blubbering fool if I have to leave this place at the end of summer.

GC

Gray, I've heard wonderful things about Lexapro; that is one of the Rx's I wanted to ask my doc about. Can't remember the name of the other, but one of my girlfriends is on it right now. It's fantastic that you're experiencing so few side effects. Prozac is great but antiquated.

I had asked earlier but don't know if you saw it -- what are you doing with your fireplace? A friend of mine had one that was painted (white) as well and she ended up using a sponge the size and shape of the bricks and dipping it into red paint and then placing it over each brick. After that, she went over each brick with another sponge in a slightly different red, and then again in a slightly different red. After that, she spattered some black and gray on for effect and finally sealed it -- and her fireplace looked relatively real again, even with the "white mortar" where the white paint had been betwixt the bricks. It looks fntastic.

I'll bet that bedroom looks awesome! I can't believe you put that much work into it! That's amazing and wonderful. Most people (lazy me!) wouldn't've (double countraction?) and should you decide to sell, trust me, people will notice. How old is your house again? 40? 50?

Want to hear about my awful attempts at home improvement experience, with our 39 year old home? (and how I should have done things your way and not the easy way. LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I do know what you mean about work. I am trying to redo my 5yo DDs room right now, and when we bought the house, it was boarded up with fake-o wood panelling (the woman's 50 year old son lived there). Truly horrific. I finally got around to pulling that nonsense down and not only had they Liquid Nailed it to the wall in horrid excess, but I had three layers of wallpaper to get through before I hit wall. I just wanted to paint it a cheery but subdued yellow for her sweet little girl heart, darn it!

Oh, forgot to mention that one wall was covered with this huge panoramic scene of what looked like the Florida beaches of my youth. LOL -- even THAT looked 60's and 70's somehow! (what I could see through the L.Nails, anyhow) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I should have gotten the pneumatic sander and just went to town on the Liqid Nails that was on the one or two bare walls then and there,, and then stripped the wallpaper off the remaining walls. But oh, no! I thought I could jimmy the LNs off with a mallet and a flat edge a la Michaelangelo, and then cover it {and all of the layers of wallpaper} with texture. Uh, no. I swiftly found out that texture doesn't go on that thick, even if I jimmied and jimmied to a fine, smooth finish.

You should see the walls -- what I've gotten done.

It's. . . it's. . . aw, crap. It's scary. The wall I've finished may cave in for the amount of plaster on it. I'm waiting for it to buckle and heave any minute, LOL

I amaze myself sometimes, lol.

H is not impressed. Why didn't I ask?, he wants to know. Well, he was always working. So now we have a joint project to do together. I'm sure he's thrilled.

I'll post pics of my finished project (once I. . . er, we)correct it) if you post yours, aye?


slh

PS -- You would feel different if you were doing laundry for 5, with two clothing changes/day for the adults (workout clothes).

Come to think of it, I don't much like clothes either. . . <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> LOL.


slh

SLH - what I'm doing with my fireplace is very similar to what you describe, but I'm painting the freakin' mortar too.

My house is 80, and the bedroom does not look awesome right now. It looks like new construction. It'll be there soon...

Yeah, Lexapro works very well for me. I was glad to quit, but honestly, I've been pretty down since I went off it. Thought it was just withdrawal, but it's been two months, so back I go. Probably not for too long... I hope.

GC

GC, glad you decided to temporarily go back on Lexapro. Don't think I would be alive today without it and without you suggesting I have mine increased, so thanks.

I would love to see some pics when you get through. My home was built in 1918 and is a California bungalow. It is lovely, I love all the built-ins and moulding. We recently did a 500 sq ft addition and spent a lot making sure we stayed true to the heritage of the house. The carpenter we hired made the molding on site to replicate the rest of the house and I spent a lot getting authentic replicas of hardware etc. It turned out very nice. I will send you some photos one of these days.

SLH, I love reading your words. You really have a way.

I'm back from vacation, not that I managed to tell anyone here that I was going on vacation. Here's a picture that I took of DD while we were on vacation. There's a whole album there (well, lots of albums, but it depends on how far you want to take the whole thing) of other pictures from our vacation. It was good and restful, and I'm blowing it by staying up late. My ex is pissed at me for sending her a text message trying to describe in words a small fraction of what that picture represents. Poor thing. I really feel sad for her. She's missing nearly half of our daughter's life -- and won't accept the gift of a few small words to give some of it back to her, because they come from me and that awakens all the pain and shame and humiliation and guilt and anger and horror. Because she hasn't dealt with those things. Sad sad sad sad sad sad sad. I'm glad that's not my stuff, even as I hurt for her.

I'm spending time trying to figure out how I'm going to do what Still Seeking suggested and to figure out how to just live my truth. Not easy, you're right, SS.

Shul, here's a hug for you. It's a difficult part that you're going through right now. Don't back down and don't give up. Keep those boundaries where they ought to be.

I see someone mentioned SYMC. I hope there weren't negative repercussions.

Weaver, you're cool.

GC, I'm glad you did a bunch of things on July 4. Next time, find a little time to spend with friends, ok? I've spent holidays like that and enjoyed them -- and also been lonely.

And that's my late-night trip through the campground for the day. Mom says that s'mores are the right thing for a campfire, so I got some chocolate and graham crackers and marshmallows. Y'all enjoy!

J, thanks for swinging by. Those are some purdy pictures. She's swell.

FF, I'd love to see what your house looks like. I'll get my pictures in an album when there's something good to show off. Right now everything still looks junky, but I have high hopes.

GC

J, she is adorable! That was me that mentioned symc and no repercussions as I did not mention or counseling or send someone there. Just posted Cerri's boundary list.

I'm confused. Is mentioning SYMC forbidden in the MB terms of use, and if so, how? I missed something.

GC

I think it is just posting links to other counseling services that is forbidden.

J, your daughter is gorgeous. How old is she?

Aside from the one posted, I think my favorites are A Child At The Beach, On The Bench and Right after kissing the statue... right before the sock goes into the pond (the last prob because my 2-stb3-in-3-weeks does the same things). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Were you in the States? That sunset was breataking, and so were the lawns and such overlooking the water. Here in Houston, we have an ocean, sure, but the Mighty Mississippi takes care of filtering out any remaining beautiful blue water. Plus, everything is flat flat flat -- no bluffs. the views in your photos were great.

Loved that one of Super Dad, too, LOL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I'm sorry your ex can't see beyond her own shame and feels she has to immolate herself in her own guilt and self-destruction. I feel terrible for what she is throwing away, knowing she will one day long for it. These moments in your daughters life are so precious. I wish she could see that, for everyone's benefit.

Keep doing the right thing, J. One day she will wake up and thank you for it. You're a good person for trying, no matter what.

slh

I really miss Weaver, and her humor and quick cyber-smiles.

Hoping she is okay.

slh

Hi all,

All is well here.
No contact and he is being a gentleman.

Gray , I happened to be listening to Jersey Girl ( and yearning to be loved like that) when I read your post...

'Got no time for the corner boys
Down in the street makin' all that noise
Don't want no whores on Eighth Avenue
Cause tonight I'm gonna be with you

Cause tonight I'm gonna take that ride
Across the river to the Jersey side
Take my baby to the carnival
And I'll take you on all the rides

Down the shore everything's alright
You with your baby on a Saturday night
Don't you know that all my dreams come true
When I'm walkin' down the street with you

Sing sha la la la la sha la la la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la sha la la la la la
I'm in love with a Jersey girl
Sha la la la la sha la la la la la yeah yeah yeah
Sha la la la la sha la la la la la

You know she thrills me with all her charms
When I'm wrapped up in my baby's arms
My little angel gives me everything
I know someday that she'll wear my ring

So don't bother me cause I got no time
I'm on my way to see that girl of mine
Nothin' else matters in this whole wide world
When you're in love with a Jersey girl

Sing sha la la la sha la la la la la yeah yeah
Sha la la sha la la sha la la la la
I'm in love with a Jersey girl
Sha la la la sha la la la la la la yeah yeah
Sha la la sha la la sha la la la la la

And I call your name, I can't sleep at night

Sha la la la sha la la la la la la la la yeah
Sha la la la la sha la la la la
I'm in love with a Jersey girl
Sha la la la yeah, don't bother me just ain't got no time
Sha la la la la la la la la
I'm in love, I'm in love with a Jersey girl
Sha la la sha la la sha la la la la la...'

Tom Waits

Graycloud said:

I would like to apologize to everyone for being a big fat whiner lately.

Gray, voicing your feelings is not whining. Most women know that getting things out is good for us, but many of us men don't understand that. On some level, you do, because you type here.

I don't know about everyone else, but I never thought of you as a whiner. I wish things were different, but I don't feel sorry for you, because I think you are a strong person, that will do well over time. I think you will make lemonaid out of the lemons given you.

Don't be afraid to talk about your feelings, or say what you think. It takes more courage than remaining silent, and it does you good too.

Wow, SS. Colors.

Hopefully it is more than just doing dishes.
Are you guys going to make big changes, or do you think some small to medium adjustments will do it?

My other question is: Do you have your week alone scheduled yet? 2nd honeymoon, or whatever you want to call it. My W maintained that we couldn't do it. No one to watch the kids, and no money. We found a way. Now we do at least three days twice a year, and it ROCKS. (ss blushes)

Faithful, we don't get 15 hours every week, but three years ago when I first came here, we weren't getting an hour. Now we do weekly dates, and we spend more time talking. We trade off being in charge of the dates, so that we get variety, and one isn't under the gun constantly to come up with ideas. We do a wide range of stuff, from laying on a blanket at the park, to quilt shows, and plays.

Time together is magic again. I can't wait to see her at the end of the day, she can't wait for me to come home. Our hearts are turned to making the other happy, and finding ways to recreate together, not separatly. Oh, she still spends time with the girls, and I still do some guy things, but we do more together JUST LIKE WHEN WE DATED IN THE BEGINNING. We did the inventory Recreational Interrest Survey
and we found new things we both enjoyed that we can do together. We do more of them, more often.

What happens is that even though you know with your heart that meeting your spouses needs is a good thing, your heart isn't always in it. When you have the strong attractions that come from being deep in love, it is easier to do, and it creates an upward cycle that is easier to maintain. Time together doing enjoyable things is a big part of making it work.

Everyone seems to be doing well today. Everyone that I have heard from ...........WEAVER.

JustJ, are the sunny days managing to keep the clouds swept away?

SS

Thanks, SS. That 'splains it well. I have been meaning to do the Recreational thingy and just printed it out to do so.

JJ,

That picture was just beautiful!. It made me happy looking at it as I recalled earlier happy years in Cape Hataras with my DD when we used to meet my parents there.

Thank you for that. It really got my vibrations up. (I'm studying the Universal Law of Attraction right now, if you hadn't already guessed).

To everyone else - a big fat HEY!

I had a great time downstate with my friends and the concert was awsome. We had front row, outdoors and the weather was perfect. Fogerty and Mellancamp both rocked and their bands were incredible. Glad I went.

I am staying off this board because it is keeping me stuck in a place where I remember too much sadness.

I keep all of you in my thoughts most of the time, and will check in from time to time.

I love you all, and so many more on this forum.

Gray - it's time for you to forgive because only in forgiveness can you find true inner peace. It's true.

To all the rest - think positively at all times. That is my goal, and I will let you know how my life evolves as my positiveness manifests.

Shul, Faith and SLH - I love you girls!

AD and 2long - I will always hope for you two the very best.

SS - You will always be epitomy of kindness and grace in my book!

Be back in a few weeks -

keep that dang fire going, would ya?

Hi Weaver,
Welcome back, and good bye, for a little while.

Also Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year. It's never out of season for me.

SS

Weaver! Love you too! Wanted to say thanks for the prayers and please keep praying. We had a huge turn around recently.

You are always in my thoughts.