Oh Kimmy how could I have neglected to tell you I love you too. I just thought of that while working out, and about had a heart attack!

I love you Kimmy!

Faith, I will continue to pray for you. Keep picturing your hubby basking in light, "act as if" meaning you walk around all day and night acting as if the miracle has already happened. See? I think you are already doing that, cuz things are good hey? Don't let any negative thoughts or memories enter your mind. "act as if". Be bright and shining and have a loving indifference about you. (BSLI).

I had an epiphany SS. And I am pretty excited about it. So yeah, Merry Christmas!

GC sits alone, twirling a stick in the embers...

Tonight I went out with a friend, a fella I work with who's several years my junior. An exceptionally good person. He told me a story. He grew up on a farm. There was the new house, and there was the old house. When my pal was 4 years old, his father moved out of the new house where his family lived and into the old house, where he shacked up with his affair partner, who was also married and had a couple of kids. A hundred yards away from his own family! My friend doesn't remember details, just remembers feeling sad.

The father is long gone. The father and son have no relationship, nor do the father and my friend's two sisters. Every now and then my friend hears from some relative or other what his father is up to. Right now, lives far away, flips burgers or something. My friend says he's not angry, but doesn't really consider himself as having a father, and more or less considers the man to be dead.

Here, infidelity was a symptom. Not of a marriage in trouble, but of a man for whom there was just something important and fundamental that was absent from his character.

My friend is brilliant and kind. He'll never repeat the sins of his father. This is thanks to his mother, and his own goodness. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

GC

I think the ones that don't come back this is very true of. The ones that come back to the M likely had something missing in the M. Just my theory. Your friend sounds like a wonderful guy.

Here, infidelity was a symptom. Not of a marriage in trouble, but of a man for whom there was just something important and fundamental that was absent from his character.

This is why I don't worry about you so much. Because it is plain that it is NOT absent in your character.

Your emotional immune system works. You will heal.

SS

Hi SLH --

DD is 2 1/2. Going on 15 or so. She's acquired a whole host of new concepts and thought processes recently. Upon seeing me wearing a ring I don't usually wear: "Mama, did you get married?"

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

She does indeed regularly do things like kissing statues (and dolls, and boys, and cats...) and throwing her socks (hats, shirts, toys) into ponds (the laundry, the bathtub, the living room).

The pictures were taken at my parents' place in Wisconsin. The garden pictures are from next door, the beach pictures are the beach at my parents' house. They live on the Lake Michigan shore. The bluffs are in Door County, which is a vacation area about two hours from where my parents live.

Super Dad is going to be a cartoon superhero one of these days. His super powers manifest only after three martinis. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My ex? Sigh. She is who she is, and I was recently blamed because I sent her the text message and "knew" that she would react this way, and that I needed to look at my own stuff to see why I was still trying to interact with her on an intimate level. I'm, err, not dating the person who said that anymore. At least, I don't think I am. I'm sure everything that was said is true on an intellectual level. It's still not, hmmm. Well, it pissed me off royally, whatever it was.

In any case, my ex says it's all a misunderstanding and what she meant was that she doesn't want me to send her text messages about things like this. Not exactly what she said in the first place, and the only common thread was the "don't talk about our past/personal things" part. I was thinking about the weather, myself, but okay...

I dunno if I'm doing the right things or not, SLH. I wish it were easy to tell what's right, but it's not always simple.

Hi SS -- Yes, the sunny days still sweep away the clouds. I use that line in my personal ads. I like that about my ads. Now to manifest a man to work with to create more out of those sunny days. I'm not sure the personal ads do it. Match.com was fun. Other avenues for more serious things, though.

Hi Weaver -- I'm glad you liked the pictures. There's something great about looking at a little child on a beach. Something... innocent. I read about lightning bugs the other day -- here? Maybe here. We're all children when the lightning bugs come out. We're all children when we have bare feet and we're walking on the beach, too.

And it's 2:40am where I am, and that is Much Too Late. So I will sleep now. Good night, everyone.

Nighty night, J.

Tonight I went to see the brilliant and wonderful Alejandro Escovedo on his first tour since a fight with hepatitis. Excellent show.

Afterward, my friend and I went to a downtown Mpls. bar for a beer. We met an Irish fella from L.A., in town for a trade show. He was very charming, kept grabbing women and introducing us to them, saying we were in a band that opened for Hootie and the Blowfish (LAME!). Got into a little talk with him. I did NOT tell him anything about my story.

He's been married 30 years, claims he cheats on his wife all the time. The way he put it, "I'm an a-hole."

I asked him how he sleeps at night. He said he sleeps very well, has no regrets, because he is who he is, and he's 52, and he's not changing. I think maybe he was making it all up.

I said, "You don't feel any guilt? How's that?"

No answer. He was working on a potential subject. He went outside for a cigarette. I went along. He was chatting up his subject out there. I stood in the background. He brought me into the conversation. I asked him why he doesn't wear his wedding ring. He gave some half-assed explanation that it's too small, something about it having a ruby in it. I asked the woman, who had her hand in her pocket, if she wore hers. She said yes, left her hand in her pocket. The guy glared at me.

I said, "What? You're the one trying to get away with something; don't give me a dirty look."

I asked the woman if she's ever cheated. She said no. She's been married 11 years. I asked her if she planned to.

She said, "Sometimes."

I asked her if she thought that was a good idea. She said no. The Irish dude glared at me some more. I asked him how he'd feel if his wife messed around. He said it would be fine with him. He was damned charming, too. All the girls wanted to talk to him.

The woman said she was from Michigan. I told her I'd lived there a few years. I asked her what her husband was doing tonight. She said he was home with the kids.

I said, "That's nice."

We all went back inside. We sat back down.

The Irish fella said, "Gray, you're a real pain in the a$$."

I shrugged.

I hope I ruined his plans. He was annoyed, but in that cool British way, where they don't take it personally. Like he knew he deserved to have his plans ruined.

He watched me talk to a girl, a very cute, real nice girl. After she went back to her boyfriend, he said, "You're not getting laid tonight, but you've got a game."

Heh, heh.

GC

Yay Gray!! I want MORE people like you in the world.

Amen, J. Good going GC

Hiya Gc,

Just thought I'd drop by the campfire and see how you are. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I must admit you have guts.I just love to see people like your "friend"(fella) busted that way,up close and personal.Nowhere to hide when someone is looking right at them and questioning their very behavior.Love it! It's like those segments on the News where they follow these rotten people around and catch them in their dirty little secrets and behavior and they try to scurry under some rock so no one can see them even though there is a big ole spotlight right on them.LOL

But sure enough,they will go back to business as usual right? Needless to say I would be very happy either being the interviewer(like you) or the one holding the spotlight.HA!

Well,hope you are doing OK these days.Cya 'round.

O

GC, here is the link to some pics of my house and addition. We are not finished, have loads of landscaping and clean up work to do but very nice. The upstairs and downstairs baths are both part of the addition. The china cab is part of the original house. Could take too many pics of the original part of the house until I do some major cleaning. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> FF's house

*AD walks in - slowly...

A thin whisp of smoke and a tiny spark are all that indicate that this is the place. Taking a split piece of dry white box-elder in hand, and pulling out his pocketknife, AD squats by the ashes and carefully begins to carve loops of shavings, letting each fall into the embers. After a minute or perhaps two, the whisp of smoke steadies and thickens. Then, a tiny flame bursts forth - quickly spreading. AD carefully chooses small sticks from a bundle and places each in just the right way - not too tight to smother the flame, nor too far. As the shavings fall into ashes, the tiny flame fails and the sticks remain unlit. AD sits back with a sigh. Deep in thought, he muses over the memories of his life - which seem to him no more that a whisp of thin smoke. He does not at first notice that the flame once again ignites. But when he does, he carefully builds on it, and after a half-hour, leaves behind a cheery blaze, well supplied with heavier chunks of wood. Remembering that he has a daughter - full of the life-force, the looks back, and softly says to nobody in particular "that should go for a couple of hours at least". As he walks away, his step is lighter and the pace quicker than when he arrived.*

Good stuff, AD.

FF, I'm impressed. I love carports! We don't have many of those up here. Your house is a real beaut.

Last night the power went out, so I went to the movies. Got home, still no electricity. The entire neighborhood was dark, hot, and silent. A little wind. The only sound was the trees. Planes flew over and their lights blinked over the yards. When cars passed through, they went slowly, the drivers wondering. Everything felt ominous.

GC

2long swings by, notices fire's gone out again, and tosses a wad of newspapers and expired Harbor Freight Tools catalogs in and soon has a raging inferno...

-ol' 2long

Hey 2Long, thanks for the blaze. I was just coming in to sit awhile and the smell of fire and fresh air does a body good. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Wuz up witchoo?

Your threads' been quiet and we haven't heard from you in a few days. Everything okay?


slh

SLH:

Just got back from OOSP Friday, and am swamped with ketchup stuff at work.

Things are different now at home. I need 2 pick this ball up and run somewhere with it.

I'm so gunshy I hesitate 2 call it recovery, especially since we're not talking counseling or "recovery plan" at all, and I've not gotten any NC agreement.

Got a lot 2 think about.

-ol' 2long

I think I need a lobotomy and a beer...not specifically in that order, but still....

It's too damn hot for that fire, 2long. Put it out and lets have a dip in the river instead?

- Kimmy

"Put it out and lets have a dip in the river instead?"

Okay, but evvy'bdy needs 2 get nekkid, don't they? Is that MB approved?

-ol' 2long

I'd blind you I'm so white this summer!

Hi Everyone !!! (You too Weaver, I know you read sometimes.)

I'm probably whiter than Kimmy, but at least I got my swim trunks. Actually, they are river shorts, but they work about the same.

2long's a pretty good guy. It's hard to find his kind of humility, and strength all in the same person. I wish all of you could meet him in person so you could enjoy his personality. He's a good story teller too.

SLH,
Measureable improvement?


Faithful - I hope your weekend continued to help your faith in full recovery.

Graycloud,
You are really getting your emotional feet under you. I am impressed with the help you give others here.

I have always considered myself your equal, not your better. I may need to reconsider my status, because I think you may get way out in head of me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />


You are better than you think, as long as you keep what got you there in mind and don't get cocky, you will go far.


JustJ,
You still have things on your mind. Is it normal stuff? Or is it the future, and all the things you still continue to wonder about?

SS

Hey did somebody say skinny-dipping? Well okay but at our ages, we will all have to wear blindfolds. Otherwise we'd be laughing so hard we'd drown.

It's 92 in the shade here today, and nobody can move! Usually doesn't go above 75.

And I'm only reading for a sec SS, and only this thread. Then I'm off to accomplish a goal. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hi white [censored] Kimmy. I'm very brown this year, and my hair is now past my waste. Comes in handy when I am riding my horse on the beach, NEKKID. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />