Car2n:

Tourist asking Native American what young and elderly NAs are hearing, with their ears 2 the ground in front of them.

Guide: "Old Brave hears angry three-legged bear approaching camp. Young Brave hears VW Van with flat tire."

-ol' 2long

Good Job 2long,

Only in America huh?

SS

Tonight Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson are stopping here on their ballpark tour. Can't go what with the gig and all... so we're playing "Time of the Preacher".

Weaver, I love it when you agree to something unseemly, and then you get things stuck in front of you to sign. Every time, I think... what if I don't?

I think you should sit on it for a bit, maybe consult an attorney. Not to be hard-nosed or nasty, just to make sure you're doing what's best for the lovely Ms. Weaver.

GC

What has 50 legs but only 10 teeth?





...the front row at a Willie Nelson concert. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

That was so wrong, 2long.

Funny, but wrong!

Graycloud got it right. Consult, and see what can happen.

I want to cover a different angle.

What do you want? There are lots of things to consider.

As far as ever being with Dan, I hope not. I think you have grown way beyond him. I am afraid it would drag you down.

Do you want the continued contact with him that co-owning would give you?

Of course, you could put your part on the market, and sell it.

I doubt if he could come up with more money - so your options may be to sign off, go back to how it was. or sell to someone else.

Would going back to that be best for you, and for paige?

I don't have the answers, just the questions.

Remember who you want to be - what's the best way to get there?

Pray, it'l come to you.


Gray, if you check in before you sleep, I wish you a peaceful rest. Hope it went down well.

SS

Thanks, SS. It's so late, it doesn't much matter how little sleep I get. I'll be on fumes tomorrow morning regardless.

The show went well. Turned out we were headlining. Had a decent crowd. No broken strings, no broken gear. A few people danced. Not bad for a Tuesday night. Our Willie Nelson cover went over pretty well. Our singer is goooood.

I'm a real sad tomato, a busted valentine.

I want my life to change. How, that's the tricky part. It's kinda the same as it was before. I spend more time thinking about important, very serious, stuff, and I still spend a ton of idle time thinking about what I've lost. I'm less concerned with trivial things. But my routine is largely the same as it was before, with the exception that I work on my house with every spare moment. Otherwise... I work, I play music, I go out once in a while, I see my family, I see my friends. It's not bad. Just... the same. Too much, the same. And very solitary.

I remember a line from "Firefly" - one of the characters says to another, who's about to do something noble, "I don't want you to die alone." The guy replies, "We all die alone."

What do you do though? Create some huge change? Get a new job? Sell the house? Quit the band? I love my job. I love my house. My band are my friends. But do these things shackle me? Oh, golly.

Often I feel like dropping everything and moving away, really starting over. There are a few places where I could do work similar to what I do now. All far away, in the mountains or on the coasts or overseas. I could have a simpler life, meet new people, get away from the places that carry the stain of my old life. I am still haunted. And many people dream of having the sort of freedom I have. Is it squandered if I stay where I am?

Look at me go. Okay, nighty night, campers.

GC

You have to stop this. What ever we think about the most becomes our reality. What ever we think about the most becomes largest in our life.

Stop thinking about it Gray, and start visualizing what you want. Moving may or may not be your answer, but I don't think you really want to leave everything and everyone you love. You have more friends than most people, and a very good life.

It is so hard being the one dumped, and still living the same life as before. Loss is very, very hard.

But there comes a time when you must put it away for good.

Refuse to think about it anymore, shrink it in your mind.

Do you know how to visualize Gray? Yes you do because you keep visualizing life as it was when sparrow was in it. Stop it, this is causing you pain.

A year is not a long enough time to get over what you have experienced. Two years is probably more realistic, but you can help speed up the process and draw lots more joy into your life with positive visualization and "acting as if".

I will copy part of a book I am reading which is having a profound effect on me and how I am letting my pain go.

The book is by Royce Adams -

" "Act as if"

"Pretend to what is not, and that the passions's over, so you'll become, in truth what you are studying to be" ~ From "The Cures for Love"...Ovid

The above words from Ovid the Roman are probably the first words written in connection with the principle of "Act as if" (in regard to the loss of love and letting go) Plato has also been credited with the principle. In modern times it was Professor Williams James, who coined the actual expression of "Act as if and the mind will produce your desire" and set off it's use in a much broader sense early in the 20th century.

James found that sitting quietly in meditation for 15 minutes or more visualizing the desired end result focused the brain and body to seek out our objectives.

"Acting as if" is very strong psychological method that utilizes a wonderful property of the human brain. The brain cannot distinguish between a vivid fantasy and objective reality." "

Gray the mind is a very, very powerful thing. Do not allow thoughts of sadness and loss to attract more sadness and loss into your life. You control this Gray. What sparrow and tm stole from you does not.

Time for you to refuse to let sadness/loss rob you of joy.

SS,

You know I haven't even been thinking about the island anymore, I let it go almost immediately. I am an expert on loss, LOL. I have been through it too many times to allow it to impede on my happiness.

I was in extreme grief and dispair right after this happened, and I grieved a thousand tears in a few weeks, and then I let it go.

I do not want to have anything to do with the property. And I will sign the form, but first I want a chance to turn things around for myself. To walk a away the better person, and not the victim. If that makes sense. I want to be able to run into Dan and feel guinine feelings of compassion and friendship. I am unable to let go having feelings of anger. So for my own mental health I will turn it around.

Do I want to go back with him? The way he was when he dumped me, no. If he experiences radical change and growth? Possibly. I won't rule it out.

And I am praying, visualizing, and acting as if...and I know that I am going to draw only good things into our life now. If he is not good... well he won't be in it.

My prayers are often a request that God lets me know if there was deception in what Dan did. I still need to know if there was deception or just an honest breakup. When I have the answer to this, I think I will be able to fully heal and move on.

Does that make sense?

Working on that, weaver. Getting better at it, but like you say, I might just need more time. But also definitely more practice.

I'd like to do some more reading. After putting down the last of the "affair" books (long ago), the only thing I've read, other than stuff about religious and spiritual practice, is something my brother's GF gave me called Mars & Venus Starting Over. Found it to be a little lightweight and pop-psychy and only read maybe a third of it.

GC

Good golly a lot can happen in a few hours!

Weaver, check in when you can. And hon, you're getting this second chance for a reason. It's either to reclaim your property (to do what with, is wholly up to you) or to show Dan that you would indeed hand it over to him even without the shennanigans. Either way I look at it, you are a winner. You get what's yours, or you get to show the Turkey that you are that much more of the woman we know you to be (despite what he's become). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Take a second and enjoy the view for all of us. Not in a Nyah-nyah-nyah-boo-boo kind of way, but an Aaaaaahhhhh, kind of way.

'Cause no matter what you decide, it was on YOUR terms. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


slh

Speaking of turkey, I had the most amazing lunch just now: Smoked turkey pasta.

Tasted EXACTLY like boiled hot dogs... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

...hope it doesn't repeat on me...

-ol' 2long

2long,
boiled ones are not my favorite. In fact, none of them are.
Must have been a ritzy place?

Hi SLH.
My sister lives in a Houston surburb. I may yet visit her, but I think it would be a winter month trip.

Weaver, you are on a roll. Keep up the good work.

Gray............the growth I have seen over the last year is amazing, do you feel it?

SS

SLH, I sent you an email, did you get it? And yes to all the rest.

2long, just stick with hotwings and salmon, that's what I do.

SS, yes, and I will.


I need to take Gray up to the mountains in Tibet and find a good spiritual healer. Forgiveness is the answer Gray, it will free you from your self imposed prison.

I am reading a story of a young woman who was burned very, very badly as a little girl by napalm. Her clothes were burned off of her and their were pictures of her running down the road in nam crying "too hot, too hot".

She says she forgave the man who ordered the napalm spraying, and this is what she says when asked "if I hate those who are imperfect I would have to hate all of mankind, including myself because we are all imperfect".

And many other stories of people who have forgiven horrindous autrocities against them including the father whose three teenage daughters were murdered by a jilted suiter of the oldest. He ended up going to the prison and forgiving the murderer in person.

Both of these incredible people now write books and teach forgiveness and inner peace.

I called the florist today and they refused to tell me who sent the flowers, saying that he instructed that his name be withheld. Creepy.

Gray,

I must admit I am being hard on you now, but you are far too young and far too wonderful to be unhappy.

We are not going to let you stay stuck for much longer.

Right everyone?

Weaver, I agree with you that the flower sender is creepy.

I've never understood why anyone would do something like that anonymously...I mean, don't they want credit for doing something nice?

Or maybe their thought is to do it anonymously to see if you can figure it out. If so, someone is waiting for you to know it was them, so you can say thanks....what flawed thinking huh?

CSUE!!!!!

Hi!

I know it is really bothering me now. I keep checking my doors. I'm sure it is innocent but it is really getting to me. I guess guys don't understand how girls can get really scared, especially when they live alone.

Even at work I didn't want to walk outside today because I was afraid someone was looking at me.

weave:

"I called the florist today and they refused to tell me who sent the flowers, saying that he instructed that his name be withheld. Creepy."

Okay, then THAT *was* me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

...or ss

-ol' 2long

Weaver,

Your situation reminds me of a very strange story that happened many years ago.

My department had several sales managers and 2 secretaries.

One of the secretaries was having trouble in her marriage...

One day she got flowers "anonymously". Drove her crazy in a big way. Her husband worked in our building and he was puzzled and slightly amused.

I suspected that one of our fellow department employees sent her the flowers in an effort to make her husband jealous. I called each one in and told them I wanted the truth, no consequence if they told me the truth, because I would rather put this secretary's mind at ease then punish the stupid yet probably well meaning person.

No one fessed-up. Years later after I moved to a different city, new job etc - I was having lunch with a guy who worked at the same place at the time.

He knew all about the flowers, and he knew who sent them...it was the other secretary in our department. I was livid....that chicken####, she was the one I suspected the most. She looked me in the eye and lied to me....Grrrrrrrrr
I would have called her if I'd known where to find her even after all these years.

....and yes, her motivation was to make the husband jealous so he would pay more attention to his wife! Sheesh!!

...well, after the following stuff, I take it back. that was NOT me! (it WAS ss! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)

-ol' 2long