Kimmy, congrats on the job. Do you have daycare lined up for the kids?

Since Gray pointed out that I suck at catching up...........

Glad the ones that are doing good are doing good.

Sad the bad stuff is going down. Praying for everyone that needs help (pretty much all of us eh?)

Binder -
I am not worried about how your D is doing. I suspect you will tell us if and when it's final. I think you covered those bases, I hope the agreement stands.

I am concerned about your feelings. I am concerned about your dark hours. I am concerned about children whose parents are going through divorce.

I wonder about what's in your heart now, I wonder how your faith is holding up.

I'm trusting that the fishing has been good this summer. I use an 06 for everything big, a .223 for everything small. The 06 gets 1 inch groups at 200M. The .223 1" at 100M. Both are reasonably clean. I know some will reach out further and flatter, but these seem to work for me if I do my part.

I was thinking about Edmonton the other day, and that little apt I used to live in. It was too cold in the winter, but I have some good memories.

If it was all boiled down, perhaps I was wondering about the judgement day. If it was to come tomorrow, would you be a happy man?
Would I?
May we both live so that it would be a day of great joy.

SS

Weaver........ I am waiting.

moon dancing, love spell casting, flower braiding, folk singing night.

Are you going to lead out? Can I sit in the shadow, and watch for a while until I get caught up in it?

OK, I'll sing, but only if it's something I know.

SS

Okay... there's a pub in my neighborhood. I go there every few weeks or so. There's a waitress there. Nice looking, smart, cool girl.

A few months ago I started taking a buddy to this pub once in a while - the guy whose father abandoned him and his sisters long ago. Some campers may remember.

Last week we went, and this nice waitress was especially nice to him. The following night, he went there by himself and asked her out, and now they're dating and hitting it off it seems.

I was really jealous when he told me about it. I don't have any interest in this person he's seeing. She's not for me. But all this news makes me think there's something wrong with me. A few months ago it felt like I'd do okay with the ladies. Since then, none of them, none of them, seem at all interested.

The waitress told my buddy that a few months back, I was at the pub having some kind of heated discussion with a dude, and that after I left the guy said I was a "[censored]".

She said she thinks I'm a "nice guy".

I don't remember ever having the most minor disagreement with anybody at this place.

Ah! Women don't want me, but think I'm nice, and strangers call me a "[censored]" after I walk away.

GC

I think you do it on purpose to prove SLH, Faithful, Kimmy, and Weaver wrong.

It may be all in your head.

I'd like to watch you work next time, so have someone go and take a camera. Try to make it look natural, not scripted. We'll all know if you fake it.

Maybe you should take Binder for a control.

SS

SS, you crack me up! GC, when you start putting out the right vibes they will be there. I think you still are injured inside, but that is MHO. FWIW, I would have jumped at a chance with a guy like you back in the old days.

You can sing "Jeramiah Was a Bullfrog, nere nere nere" Okay SS? I know you know that one.

Or how about "Dancing in the Moonlight". Bet you know that one too.

Gray,

Nice guys scare girls who are not used to it, it feels uncomfortable because deep inside they don't think they deserve it.

You have to let the "nice" sneak up on them. Start out being a jerk and then when they trust you and are hooked, bring on the nice.

I know it seems bass ackward but I know from personal experience that when a guy is too nice I feel like I won't measure up. And I run for the hills until some jerk I am comfortable with shows up and gives me what I think I deserve.

I am working on those issues now though.

But for you, if you are nice and the girl isn't biting, keep looking, chances are she is damaged, and you don't even want to go THERE.

Or what Faith said.

Try switching it around, be a "[censored]" to the girls and nice to the guys.

But then be especially nice to one girl, and she will think that she is special because this jerk is nice to her, but a "[censored]" to the rest.

And no, I'm not drinking. Just worked in the bars too long, and saw this crap all the time.

Or maybe it was because I was looking through my eyes, that this is what I saw. Who knows.

Well time to go work out, and see if that helps my thinking process, as I can tell by what I am typing it's been too long a day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Weaver, I'm not nice like wimpy or too polite, I don't think. I don't think I usually seem nervous around women, and there's no way I come across as trying too hard. Know what I wonder about? I wonder if my mannerisms are odd or something. No kidding.

Anyway, what I perceive as being treated like a leper might be real, and I'd like to figure it out. J and SS have met me in person, and I'm pretty sure I didn't come across weird to them. Although J said I seemed angry.

When I talk to strangers, I put conscious effort into listening to them, and I do not make conversations ('cept this one, haw haw) about myself.

I'm gonna look into this more.

I realize this stuff I'm writing is the worst kind of neurotic B.S., and that no matter who you are, some people are just not going to be cool to you.

GC

I realize this stuff I'm writing is the worst kind of neurotic B.S.

NOT !!!

You are wondering about things, and have the guts to talk about it. This is one of the reasons that people here tell you that you "get" it.

Yes, I have met you. You are talented, you have personality, you are genuine, and even humble. Go back a few months and read what SLH wrote - it was correct. So why the trouble?

I don't know the reasons for what feels like rejection -

Weaver and Faithful have some good ideas, and they are GIRLS so you should think on what they say.

Also ....... when someone is looking for God, and asking him if he is real, and trying to get his help - he helps.

He may be saving you for someone you haven't met yet.
As hard as it is, you can always trust him. Always. You just have to be willing to play by his rules.


SS

You just haven't "clicked" with any one yet Gray.

You have a lot of girls for friends, ask them to be brutally honest with you, and then take it from there.

But I bet it is more the case of not meeting someone with the right chemestry for yours yet.

Next time you meet someone you like, be a bit more persistant.

I have one guy who has been calling me for a month, and today he stopped into my office.

We have great phone convo's, but I made my mind up right away he wasn't "my" type. He is very, very cool but he is not what I am used to.

Anyway today I decided he just might be my type, and in a few months when I am ready I might allow some romance with him.

I told him that I needed a few more months to get my self together (heal), and he said he would settle for what ever I could give, friendship what ever for now.

But I am serious Gray when a month ago I absolutely had no attraction for him what so ever, but he is not giving up and now he is becomming attractive to me.

Try it next time, don't give up so easy.

Folks:

As a "newfound veteran lurker", I've adopted the following as my theme song (after all, Iron Butterfly's "Iron Butterfly Theme" is an instrumental!):

King Crimson, "Exiles"

"Now...in this faraway land,
Strange...that the palms of my hands
Should be damp with expectancy.

Spring...and the air's turning mild.
City lights...and the glimpse of a child,
Of the alleyway infantry.

Friends...do they know what I mean?
Rain...and the gathering green,
Of an afternoon out-of-town.

But Lord I had to go.
My trail was laid too slow behind me.
To face the call of fame,
Or make a drunkard's name for me.
But now this better life
Has brought a different understanding.
And through these endless days
Shall come a broader sympathy.
And though I count the hours,
To be alone's no injury...

My home...was a place by the sand.
Cliffs...and a military band
Blew an air of normality."

-ol' 2long

Okay, well... that girl that gave me a mini-massage the other night, I'm actually going to track her down. I don't think I'll go after her, because she's dated a guy I know and even though they're "just friends", I don't think they're done. But the other night I got the feeling she honestly liked me, and I reckon it can't hurt to expand my network.

I am going to talk to my female friends about this. They'll be truthful I think.

GC

And JJ will cook for both.

Alllll righto! When I grow up, I'm gonna be a camp cook at Cerri's house. Right after I figure out how to make it into a legendary marriage retreat and drumming location that will draw people from all over the world who want to spend, oh, $5,000 a week to sleep in tents.

(There will be silk sheets in the tents.)

Yes, I just spent another fantastic weekend at the compound in Wisconsin. Darned-fine weather, too.

Hey, GC. You never know where you'll meet someone who rocks your world, and you theirs. Keep open. It takes time. You'll know when it happens. And even then, it takes time.

And no, that was not a non sequitor.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Edited to add: Just make sure it's ethical. You're right on in terms of not stepping on someone else's relationship, even if they claim they're "done."

Something else on my noodle.

Ethan, aka TFM, posted recently on D/D about being thrown together with his XW in a class, seeing her, talking to her, yukking it up, and being okay with it.

I'm certainly not as far along in my grieving as he is. I had a recent situation in which I might have been in a social setting with XWW, and possibly OM. I felt like the courageous thing to do would have been to go, because there was nothing to fear, but I was terrified of going. I can't imagine having a conversation with the unrepentant sparrow. I couldn't imagine it six months ago, and I can't imagine it now.

I know, time, time. But my M is no less sacred to me than it was the day I was married. Any icky-subject-avoiding interaction with the people who made it end would trivialize it. How does that ever become less true?

GC

GC - Not sure I could do that either. However I can't say that being the bigger person trivializes the marriage you had. Maybe he is a fantastic example of healing through the Marriage Builders process. Perhaps TFM is way more mature than either one of us. I hope he doesn't get sucked back into the drama.

Maybe so, NW55, maybe so.

I hope I'm at least as mature as TFM though, because I'M TURNING 35 TODAY.

GC

35?! Whew! You old geezer, you!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Happy Birthday, GC.


slh

Happy, Happy Birthday...to YOU!



Just this morning I was thinking about my grandfather because today is his birthday too. He was so special to me. He passed away four years ago and would have been 86 (I think) today. Anyway, isn't it strange to think about where you could be 50 years from now?

And, No, I don't mean dead. LOL! I was trying to be philosophical. Nevermind.

Enjoy your day!