SLH:



Thanks for asking.....the update will eventually get here via the other ancient thread as promised....just have to find the time. Thanks for asking.

I'll include all the "mechanical stuff" there. Of course more is going on that I'll likely cover here cuz I find it a warm, fuzzy place to do so, though I hope I get some objective feedback.

Still seeking, the ought-6 is a heck of a caliber and can be chambered for pert-much anything North America can put in front of your sights. Groups like that speak well for both the rifle and the rifleman. That .223 can be a finicky round especially in a cross-wind.

I'll ponder those other issues you present. I'll share here in a bit.

Hi, GC.

Happy belated birthday!

Quote:
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I had a recent situation in which I might have been in a social setting with XWW, and possibly OM. I felt like the courageous thing to do would have been to go, because there was nothing to fear, but I was terrified of going.
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I heard there was a poisonous snake handling class on the same night on the other side of town. I think it would be a safer place for you to go unless there is a particular reason you need to eviscerate yourself. Otherwise, consider giving any meeting with the infidels a wide berth for a good long time.

All the best,
Gimble

So here's a pickle.

My friend has a female roommate. When he moved into her house, he told her he wouldn't get into any hanky panky with her. He's lived with her for two or three years. They're friends. They sit around and chat quite a bit, and now and then go grocery shopping together, that kind of thing.

Every time he has a new girlfriend, his roommate shows signs of anger.

Last fall, she left her diary out. He read it and discovered that she was in love with him.

He confronted her. Told her that it wasn't going anywhere, but that he valued her friendship. She said she didn't want him to move out, so he didn't.

He dated someone else for a while after that. His roommate did lots of stompin' and door slammin' whenever the girlfriend was around.

He asked her should I move out. She said no, stay.

He and his GF broke up.

He just started dating someone new - the girl from the pub. The other night she came home with him. His roommate is acting angry again. This morning she confronted him. She complained that he didn't tell her he was bringing someone home. He said it was spontaneous. She said he was lying, that she knew he'd planned it because he cleaned his bathroom the day he brought pub girl home. He said something about her having feelings for him, and she said she's over all that. But why should it even matter if he brought someone home, much less whether it was or was not planned?

Doesn't sound like she's over him, does it?

He doesn't know what to do. He's sure it would cause her pain if he left, because she'd lose that companionship with him. But he's also sure it causes her pain with him there, because she's getting a few ENs satisfied by him, and it's seems like it's just enough to keep her strung along, even though he's told her in a clear voice that he doesn't want an intimate relationship with her.

He can't figure out what to do. Staying is unfair to his roommate. She doesn't date at all. She seems obviously to be attached, even though she insists she isn't. But moving away would hurt her, and every time he brings it up she practically begs him not to.

He's tumbled down a rabbit-hole into a dysfunctional situation with his roommate, and sees no way out without hurting her.

I've got a stake in it, unfortunately. If he moves out, he'll move into my house with me.

He asked me to tell him what to do, and I'm not sure. He's talked these issues to death with his roomie, but the problems persist.

GC

Okay, now we're discussin' guns? LOL

And here I've only got my wee pea-shootin' Derringer to talk about!

As a young'un, my Daddy taught me to shoot and taught me well. We'd go out to the Mississippi levee south of New Orleans and have hours of target practice on Ozzy Ousbourne albums (local radio stations handed them out at parades <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> great for target practice). I learned first-hand to repect the power and responsability of using our guns. I am so thankful for that opportunity.

I still have my .22 semi-automatic rifle, but my little Derringer's there for self-protection.

I know, I know, a chick gun. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> But I'm not too bad with a .357 revolver, either. Wanna see?

Where's my chew and a beer? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />



slh

GC, sorry I just saw your post.

I can totally see why your friend is concerned, but the time for talking is done. He's stated his case over and over and yet things have not changed. He pays rent, half the bills; he deserves the repect that that entitles him. Mentioning to his roomate that he may be bringing some one to his home should not have to be an obligation, and he should not be "punished" for doing so. Is this his home too, or not?? Because Ms. Unrequited is not behaving as such.

You said you have a stake in this, that he may be moving in with you. Is this something you desire, or not? I'm sorry I couldn't discern which.

Maybe a little distance is what Ms. Unrequited needs. If he changes his mind later, he could always go back.


slh

GC, this is a very sick relationship and not just on the roommates part. I would not let him move in with you. He needs to do this on his. He needs to tell her he is going and that their so-called friendship is over. Truly do a plan B type thing with her. Imagine if he meets and marries someone before he has really stepped back from this situation? He will take the dysfunction into the M. Your friend IMVHO needs some IC. Sorry for the directness but this scares me that you may get dragged into this situation.

LMAO, Gimble you are such an asset here.

Thanks FF.

I enjoy being here :-)

Gimble

Gray,
As far as your friend and his roomate -

If he is afraid of hurting her........... he will hurt her more to let such a relationship continue.

It is interresting to hear about this in light of what Dr Harley says about meeting needs, and love. Especially interresting given the (usual) differences of needs between the sexes. It seems to fit so well, like it was scripted.

I think he should just tell her he decided to move, and move. Talking to her may make it worse.

SLH,
How did the weekend go, especialy Friday.

What did Ti do to make you feel loved and cared for?

How is your family coping with the aftermath of the H?

I didn't realize you were so deadly. At least you don't need to worry about being home alone. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Faithful,
it is so hard to know what to say. I keep wishing I could think of something that would help, but nothing I can say will match what you are feeling. Still praying.


SS

SS, do you have plans for the weekend? Thanks for the prayers.

My plans are mild this weekend. Saturday will be spent catching up on my filing at home, getting my personal things in order. I have been busy every weekend since mid July, and it is badly needed. Sunday will be church as usual. Monday we plan on doing a slot canyon hike that is a 35 minute drive from our home.

http://www.suu.edu/ss/outdoors/activities/kannaraville%202004.html

Then we will have a BBQ in the eveining with a neighbor family (the dad is deployed in the middle east.)

That's about it.

We have date night Friday, it's my turn, and I don't have it planned yet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Going out to dinner is easy, and takes little planning. I may do that. Last friday night was a an overnight camp in the mountains with a group, so not an official date.

How about you? You don't have to sit around when there are so many things to do. I suspect no one on their death bed ever says "I wish I would have spent more time doing housework and less time doing fun things with the kids."

Tell me about your son, what he can do, what he has trouble with.

SS

Deadly, SS? I don't know; it's been a number of years. I might could make you wish you were dead, even with my pea-shooter! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Re: our anniversary, he was in town (only b/c his destination was NO, where Katrina was going to hit) and it was messy.

Arguments, resentment, bitterness. I am claiming my part in a lot of this. But I definitely saw the breadth of his frustration with our circumstances (marital & financial). He punched 5 huge holes in the wall. This, the most gentle, kind, gracious and diplomatic man I know. His vehemence was terrible. He truly feels like he cannot win.

Neither do I.

A lot was aired, but I am discovering he is still harboring an extreme amount of resentment over some things I had revealed. (Thus the bedroom wall remodelling -- I can elaborate if it will give anyone insight and advice).

There was a time I would be devastated, but I am either becoming apathetic or gaining a new insight into how much I will put up with. Being ignored is not one of them.


slh

Cool hiking place! No, I don't have to sit around and may consider something fun to do with the kids. I am so tired I can't think today. My DS is completely dependant for all his care. He does not sit on his own, feed himself or speak. He is a good communicator though, has a lovely personality and loves to be around people. He is getting bigger so it is getting harder for me to do things with him without another adult. We can do movies, walks, going out for ice cream or read together at home.

(Thus the bedroom wall remodelling -- I can elaborate if it will give anyone insight and advice).

Please elaborate......

Now, about the rest of this........... mess.

Much of this is the way men and women look at things differently. I promise it is.

When you tell him your feelings, he feels attacked. He may not admit it, but he does.

Punching holes is not the proper way to deal with frustration. I did this once - and I fixed it so you can't hardly see it - but it reminds me of how foolish I once was, and how little I understood emotions.

I still see much good in your relationship, but of course I am not there with you. You talked, I see that as good. You are in conflict, which is much better than apathy.

If you have to make major changes, make them. You know what I am saying. I still think you need to get his attention. I do worry that someone that will do five holes in the wall will have too much pride to do the right thing if you do something drastic. You worry too. Is this a side of him you have never seen before?

His vehemence was terrible. He truly feels like he cannot win.

He is failing his family - you are telling him that over and over. Not in so many words, but that is what he is hearing.
This is probably what he is thinking - Perhaps not with his conscious mind, but it is there.

I am a failure
I can't provide for my family
I am a failure
I can't make my wife happy
I am a failure
I can't make my company successful



No, he doesn't understand how he can win and his answer to everyting is to work harder - because it's gotta work, doesn't it? I mean, what else is there?

I don't know the specfics, and I am not a pro at this, but there are ALWAYS options. You may not like them, you may not want them, but they are there. They are always there.

You tell us what you think the options are, I want to see how far along you are.

He needs a success. It needs to be his. I don't know what it should be, don't know if you do either, because I know you have been trying.

Perhaps I should wait for your reply before saying more.

BTW my sister lives in Magnolia, is that very close to you?

One day, I may even get there to visit, but not in the next few months.

SS

Faithful,
Tell me again how old he is?

Can he walk?

I am sure you have probably mentioned these things before, forgive me for forgetting.

SS

SS, the photos of that canyon hike were marvelous. Lifted my spirits by just looking at them. What a delightful way to spend a day, or weekend.

When we were younger, I regularly went "creeking" with my father, or with Ti and a large group of friends. I also spent a few weeks 2 summers on Black Mt. in the Blue Ridge mountains. (YMCA Blue Ridge Assembly, for those who know).

the exhaustion and feeling of clean sweat while hiking through beautiful land is a feeling I always remember with fondness. Not quite the same high I get at the gym (aaack!)

I hope you have a wonderful time, SS.


slh

- Re the canyon photos

I took some of it last year that I like better, and I may take some more Monday. If so, perhaps I can post some. This link was just one I found on the net on short notice. It is a pretty place, and yes, better than the gym (which I never go to, and it shows.)

Your creeking photos look good too !!

Too bad there is nowhere close you can do it now.

I was about to comment more, but still think I will wait until you reply.

Ss

SS, he is 7. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> No, he cannot walk. He is in a wheelchair most of the time or mom's lap.

SLH, I am so sorry about your weekend. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />