Awwwww, no fire tonight. But soon it'll be cold. I've restored my real-life fireplace, made my living room pretty and comfortable. Well almost.

Fires are not far away.

These comforts, these sources of warmth, give us a reason to embrace the death that happens around this time of year. What do women say when winter comes? "Oh boy, sweater weather!"

But where I live, by the time you get to February, ouch. Your backyard seems desolate and lifeless as Mars. You hardly believe that only a few months ago you walked barefoot on this ground. You're tired of shoveling snow, and really, really tired of the sensation you get when, at 7 A.M., in what looks no different from the dead of night, you drop into the driver's seat of your car. It's ten below. With the cessation of motion and contact with a car seat, an object that hours ago reached equilibrium with a fearsome, lifeless environment, you shudder, and yourself begin the plunge toward that death-like, motionless void of cold.

Oh, please, when I die, do not bury me in a place like this. Turn my body to ashes and throw them in a shallow part of the tropical sea. Do it somewhere beautiful and warm. If there's a monument, pay for a park bench with my name on it. That's more than enough.

You turn the key and breathe out. A cloud lit by dashboard lights and streetlight, and nothing else, comes out of your mouth and drifts in front of your face, and you get moving. Backward.

Later, after work, you find ways to advance the return of life. A gardener takes out his calendar and realizes he's got to start his lettuce seeds in a week. A hiker begins planning a springtime trip.

Of course this is a metaphor, which a solitary man like me hopes he's at the end of his own winter, but because life doesn't have the regular, predictable cycles of nature, I wonder if winter is actually near its end.

I've made most of the preparations for this metaphorical spring, but how much can I choose whether it's about to begin? And what are its signs?

Last night I dreamed I went to the sparrow's wedding. I found the unoccupied seat nearest the front of the church. Only when the pastor said "if anybody must speak against this union, speak now" did I realize why I was there. I stuck out in my austere clothing: jeans and a white t-shirt, in a church full of suits and dresses. I saw former in-laws who must have easily spotted me, but had not acknowledged my presence.

I stood up and began to speak.

I had this dream last night. No kidding.

I don't feel so terrible these days, but I hate that these are still the contents of my dreams. They're like an April snowstorm. Except they happen all the time.

Tonight I took old finish off another section of my floor. I picked up my friend at the airport - he's been on vacation for a week, visiting another pal in California. After, I met another friend for a beer, at the bar in my neighborhood where he met his new girlfriend, one of the waitresses. I chatted up the GF's pretty roommate, but not to worry - her boyfriend was right there the whole while.

Golly, I'm friends with lots of people.

From my lips to god's ears, I'm going out for a few laughs tomorrow.

Hopefully something good lies ahead.

GC

>Turn my body to ashes and throw them in a shallow part of the tropical sea.

Or mix you up with concrete and sink you so you can become a coral reef.

Me, I'm gonna be a diamond (or a few diamonds - one for the husband and one for each kid).

There is something good ahead, GC. You just have to look at it the right way.

For 2long and anyone else:

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow my fear to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone I will turn my inner eye to see its path. And where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

I've been known to say the Litany Against Fear at times.

- Kimmy

Gray, that was amazing. Poetry on an order I rarely read here. And Kimmy, the Litany Against Fear is wonderful.

Thank you. Frank Herbert was brilliant!

Kimmy:

"Tell me about the rabbits, Muad 'Dib"

-"Of Mice and Men" meets "Dune" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

You're a cutie 2long.

Here was my fortune (in my cookie from lunch):

"A new voyage will fill your life with untold memories."

WELL DUH! Livin' it right now!

- Kimmy

Kimmy:

"Such knowledge is worth more than any for2ne, Cookie!"

-7Up commercial, early 1970s.

-ol' 2long

You REMEMBER the 70s?!?!?

Lesse...70s:

Riding down the hill on my new Spyder bike at breakneck speed.

Playing ghost in the graveyard after dark.

Mosquito bites.

Swimming every day during the summer.

White fuzzy cold stuff falling from the sky in the winter.

Mork from Ork suspenders.

Blue Snoopy lunch box.

Parents yelling to shut the lights off or they were telling President Carter.

Guys held hostage in Iran every night on the news.

A Barbie that was a model. You turned the camera lens, and she'd pose.

Stretch Armstrong

Mousetrap

Operation

Kick a$$ hot wheel sets

Lemonade stand on the Apple

Commodore computers

Edith Ann, "and that's the truth....phphphhhpppttt!"

- Kimmy

Kimmy:

I remember the late 50's early 60's like that.

Only we didn't "do" hotwheels. It was Matchbox, Dinky, and Corgi

And my Tonkas were tough enough 2 ride on! (and based on '58 Ford pickups if I remember correctly).

These things are important! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

My cousin and I have tonkas and tinkertoys that we passed to our kids.

I still love a good Tonka truck. Leo (my youngest) gets one almost every Christmas....from the big chunky ones for little guys, to the really tough Hummer Police vehicle.

And Erector sets. OMI! I almost forgot my erector set. It came in a plastic box that looked like a toolbox. It was da bomb!

Kimmy, that's gotta be the first time in at least 20 years the words "Stretch Armstrong" crossed my mind.

I remember funny music, like "Blue Bayou" and "The Gambler".

GC

What about Darth Vadar shaped cases to keep your "action figures" in?

Or funny music like "The Streak", or radio programs like "Hiney Wine?"

For giggles.

Hiney Wines

I remember a show that was on PBS very early Sunday mornings. It was a semi-educational show, but really it was just a bunch of stoner surfers who lived in a shack on the beach clowning for 30 minutes. It was on at like 6 A.M.

GC

My favorite was a 5-minute serial on the Mickey Mouse Show called "Journey 2 the Beginning of Time", where some kids in a boat go down a river back in2 time.

And I'll always remember Bob Denver as Maynard, not Gilligan.

-ol' 2long

Come on 2long, that story was perfected in "Land of the Lost".

The sleestacks scared the crap out of me!

GC

OH! I hated the Sleestacks. All hissy and icky.

Blech.

What about the Bugaboos on Banana Splits. Or Danger Island...Electra Woman and Dyna Girl?

- Kimmy

I was also scared of Witchiepoo on H. R. Pufnstuf.

Those Krofft guys could push my buttons.

I saw one of those dudes' house in some magazine, maybe Architecture Digest, one time. Super cool house. Kimmy would love it.

GC

There was an episode of The Outer Limits (the original, not the color stuff) where the villain not only had a weapon that would kill someone, it would "uncreate" them. Not only would you be dead, you'd have never existed in the first place...

I loved the show, but some episodes had me sleeping with the lights on for a 2ple nights afterward...

-ol' 2long