Oh puleeeze...what if you fall in love? Do you not show it? Do we play games? ...don't return calls, don't answer calls...don't show up for dates...act like you don't give a effing flying eff!

This was DW "I am never going to let you go...I am crazy about you...you are the most stunning, beautiful woman I have met...tell me you love me, tell me you won't ever get sick of me"

Me - "I do love you and I won't ever get sick of you" fast forward two months - DW, DW where did you go? Hello????? Where did you go?"

I was crazy about him...from the moment I met him, and he felt the same. blech, blech, blech

I HATE dating, I HATE games, I HATE liars...

Weaver<<<<pissed off and fed up.

Thanks for the more lovely image J...but I had that one all along. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Kimmy...that wasn't directed at you...sorry, just suffering from some strong emotions.

So Greycloud has the other kind of girl problems now - they won't leave him alone.

Ha ha ha ha hee hee haaaaa ha. Grey, you bring tears to my eyes. I think you are doing this on purpose to get Binder.

The thing is, I think Binder had the same kind of problems.

Weaver............
OK, I won't ask.
Hugs though. {{{{{{{{{{Weaver}}}}}}}}}}

Hi J.
SS waves !!!
I do a lot of thinkng, but I wish I was better at it. This journey is so interresting. The hard parts are so difficult, but the good parts ........ Mmmmmm. How could it be any other way?

Kimmy,
Thanks once again for making me hungry in the middle of the afternoon. I love Mexican, but my recipies usually start with me opening the fridge and saying "What can I make out of this?"

I admit though, I did use a recipe to make Chili Rellenoes once, and they turned out OK.

Thanks Grey, it was YOU who started the food discussion. How do you keep your weight down?

And BTW, I never did hear more about your whiz bang stuff at work. How did it turn out?

FAITHFULLLLLLLLLLL !!!
Is it going well?
Improving?
Stalled?
Date Last week?
Com'on, details, details.

Weaver, I was also wondering how P is doing?
Right along with wondering how you are.
And .......... sorry for the hard parts.


SS

Hi SS! Just was thinking about you yesterday. Not sure what to call it right now to tell the truth. Day by day? Waiting to see? Got the whole truth out of him last week after all this time...still dealing with processing that and deciding what I want.

OK,
I'll keep teasing you, talking to you, and praying for you.

I have a lot of respect for you. I tend to think you will make it.

SS

>Thanks Grey, it was YOU who started the food discussion.
>How do you keep your weight down?

SS, my worries keep me thin.

GC

funny...my worries keep the weight ON. Can we trade?

Well, FF, I got these eyes from cryin', and you'd have to take those too, which I doubt you'd go for. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

GC

I have a lot of respect for you too Faith!

SS, P is just fine...spends most of her time in front of the mirror dancing, or on the phone. LOL

Gray, I want to makes those chicken/spinach tacos but I don't drink anymore...

I'm still stuck on your comment about the crazy chicks who only want you more when you hide from them. That is bothering me...but I'll find some peace with it soon I think.

No drinking, no smoking and no dating for me for three months (I have a tendency to self-medicate after getting dumped so I am making this goal) ...probably be keeping the ole campfire stoked for all y'all now.

And I think we all got our eyes from crying... we must have the most beautiful eyes around.

Sorry about that comment, weaver. It wasn't cute as it seemed when I wrote it.

FWIW, I haven't been dishonest or tricky or played games with anyone. Not that I ever had before...

I'm worried that someone who knows better is putting herself in a position to get hurt. See, she knows I don't want an exclusive relationship, and says she just likes spending time with me and doesn't care, and that as long as she knows I feel that way, she can keep herself safe. She said almost exactly that.

I usually believe her. Today I believe her. She's going to the movies with some dude. But I don't always.

GC

Weaver, the tacos are almost as good without alcohol.

I didn't get how your R with that fellow got to where it is. I remember you learned he had "social anxiety" problems and thought it might be better to back off.

Then a little ago one of your posts made it seem like you felt rejected.

I think you're okay, but it's hard to tell how attached you got to the guy.

GC

My tacos were fantastic.

If anyone knows a competent babysitter in the DC (preferably Bethesda) area, send 'em my way. I need one for tomorrow morning. Yes, that's nine hours from now. And counting.

*sigh*

Hope you found a good babysitter J.

Gray, he was dishonest about something and I can't seem to get past it...I am very angry but I know all anger comes from fear, so it's my problem I know. I can't handle any kind of dishonesty anymore...J was right, people like that with esteem problems will destroy your soul.

As far as your friend, as long as you are honest it is her choice to stay involved with you knowing that you won't commit. If she gets hurt, it will be an honest hurt...very, very different from hurt which results from anothers dishonesty. Just stay honest and you can't go wrong.

Sometimes I really don't like being right. I wish I hadn't been in your case, Weaver.

Oh weaver, I'm sorry about that.

My favorite aunt, my mother's closest sister, died today.

Her husband had been married once before. His first wife cheated on him, and they were divorced. A while later he met my aunt. They got married and raised their son and daughter in the Northeast. My uncle was an engineer.

It was always my uncle's dream to run a sheep farm, and after their kids were both out of college, aunt and uncle dropped everything and bought a sheep farm in Wisconsin. It was the prettiest farm you ever saw, on the side of a bluff near the Wisconsin River in Spring Green, a short walk down the road from Frank Lloyd Wright's house called "Taliesin".

They ran the farm for maybe ten years and then retired, but stayed on the property.

Eleven years ago, my uncle died suddenly.

A few months later, sparrow and I and my parents visited my aunt at the farm. Sparrow and I were newlyweds. My aunt took me aside and spoke quietly to me.

"Gray, you know, [uncle] and I didn't always see eye to eye, but we were always kind to each other. Remember to do that with her. And let me tell you something. I didn't expect to lose [uncle] so soon, but it gives me so much peace to know that I helped him have his dream. Do that for her too. And if she won't do it for you..."

Then she stuck out her tongue and gave sparrow a raspberry.

She was kind of a harda$$. I was crazy about her. She fought cancer for three years. A few weeks ago she told my mom she wanted me to have her records, and was picking through them, telling Mom about the ones she thought I'd like.

She was 73. Her name is Dorrene.

GC

Gray - today I did the sound for a memorial for a pilot from our church. He worked for customs. He was an interceptor. He was a marine, and trained f-18 pilots. He stayed with his plane until he was out of a residential area, and when he ejected his plane was too low for his chute to deploy. He gave his life for many others.

I was blown away by the service.

My favorite quote was about him - "Butch did not know mediocracy. He would not even know where to find it." Apparently he lived every aspect of his life that way. He has two kids - 2 and 4 years old.

The service was on the Miday aircraft carrier. I wore my grandfathers navy hat to commemorate him. The ceremony was beautiful.

I lift this toast to - Dorrene. To my grandfather. To both of my grandmothers. To Butch.

Till we are all toasting together again........


far

Sorry about your loss, GC. FAR, the memorial sounded beautiful. Very sad with young children and all.

{{Weaver}}

Oh GC. I'm so sorry for your loss.

GC, I'm so glad you posted this. When I was a small child, I lived near the Wisconsin River, upriver from Spring Green in Portage. My parents had a cottage about a mile upriver from where I-90 crosses the Wisconsin River. I was painting a picture for HoFS the other night, using that location, and another one up in Door County, as a basis. Up on a bluff above a river, with quiet walking spaces above and below, places to greet the day when the sun rises, places to visit with neighbors in the late afternoon, places for meditation and writing and cooking and quiet laughter.

I forgot to include the porch. Important, that porch. A wrap-around with rocking chairs.

Anyway. Thanks, Gray, because you remind me of that place that lives in my heart as much as anywhere else. And thanks, because your aunt's words remind me of how important it is to fulfill your love's dreams, and your life's dreams.

One day, when DD is all grown up, or maybe sooner, I'll drop everything and live the dream, too.

The tides of life ebb, and flow. If we stay on the shore we miss the interaction. If we wade out we sometimes get swept off our feet.

Sometimes getting knocked down makes us laugh.
Sometimes it makes us cry.
Often we just realize it's part of life, and we just think about it, knowing it's the way things are.

{{{{{{{{{{everyone}}}}}}}}}}

When the fire burns low, and you stare into the coals, and think.......... remember that there are others around the fire who care about you, and wish you well.

SS