Faithful,
Have you talked about it, and I missed it?
Do you WANT to talk about it?

Can we help in any way?

You seem to be quiet about yourself, and you are reaching out to help others. I like the reaching out part, but the quiet (unless I missed something) worries me at times.

Praying for your success.

SS

Graycloud,
Your posts seem to be changing. It's like you are processing the bad stuff, and thinking more happy thoughts.

Does it seem that way to you?

SS

SS - Been thinking much?

I'm glad your heart is singing. Mine's an alto...

Kimmy

Mine is heinz 57.

I try though.

LOL, Hi SS. No, no updates on me yet. Still holding my breath and hoping that it will be ok. Kimmy has been very helpful.

Faithful,
I probably shouldn't ask, but........ I almost always do.
So glad you have help.

Don't mean to draw you out before you are ready.

SS

I know you care, SS. You have gotten me through some very dark hours. You can ask all you want. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SS chuckles
OK - you know I ask because I worry about you. Not worry you will crash, but worry about all the things you cope with. Worry that you will get tired. Worry that it gets to you.

If Kimmy is helping, you are in good hands. She's good people. Makes me feel lots, and lots better.

Are you getting enough sleep?

SS

Yes, sleeping better and no longer looking 10 years older due to stress. My boy is getting bigger and heavier but he is still the light of my life. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Yes, sleeping better and no longer looking 10 years older due to stress.

It's good you are sleeping better. It can make up for a lot of stress. Compensate for it at least a little bit.

My boy is getting bigger and heavier but he is still the light of my life.

You have love in your eyes when you say that. Mothers are so special. At least the ones like you are. The ones that care.

How about DD? Is she angry? Is it getting better for her yet?

SS

Yes, DD is getting better. More secure in her relationship with her dad which at 13 is so very important. I pray for a day that all this stress is but a memory.

SS, it does seem that way.

But there's still lots of bad stuff. Enough to make me worry at times. I thought it was a limited resource, and that after a couple of years passed, it would just be exhausted.

I wish I could forgive the people who hurt me. I want to, and need to, but I can't. I continue falling prey to the reminders of what was taken from me.

As everything started two years ago, I'd begun wanting to start a family. On her way out the door, my former wife accused me of the opposite, then told me a selfish person like me would be no good as a father. Finally she put me as distant from the possibility as she could.

I've recently been bombarded with reminders of just how distant. It's not the end of the world. And I'm still young enough. Shoot, my feelings about it are so vague that I didn't even figure out until a few days ago what was making me so blue.

I think when families are broken apart in divorce, children must help their parents feel as if they years they spent with their former partners weren't wasted.

I feel like I may as well have spent 1993-2005 in prison. Seems like all I have from those years are memories that make me sad.

SS, despite the depressing tone of this post, I do have happy thoughts, lots of them. One of the things I like about my life now, that I'm grateful for, is the feeling that I'm not really afraid of anything... except maybe letting go of my effing pain.

GC

And the pain does what for you?

SS, it doesn't do anything for me. But neither does hasty forgiveness.

GC

BTW, I asked that question with a big grin on my face - it's hard to get some things across in print.

You can keep it (the pain) as long as you want, I'll help all I can - which may not be much, but hey...... the price is right.

Gray, I still say you are a pretty good guy. I don't think I'm mistaken.

SS

>selfish person like me would be no good as a father

She was/is a liar.

You're going to be the best kind of father. I know it.

"selfish person like me would be no good as a father"

That was priceless. I'm surprised you didn't burst out laughing. Come on, look at who she chose - ridiculous!

Believer, that struck me as ridiculous too.....a man that will have an affair, abandon his infant and her mother is a better father? Give me a break......then get married to him when obviously the sanctity of the institution means sooooooo much to her. That woman deserves chronic kidney stones.

ROTFL, good one Binder <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. Especially the ones who think Valentine's Day is for other people. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />