GC, I truly admire what you did. Most of society would not step up and say the right thing. Effective or not does not matter..I suspect that in the future your words will ring in his ears.

I love Dire Straits TT. An electrician at work just made me a CD of theirs. I don't know why he picked Dire Straits but I really like it.

We all make CD's for each other at work...I guess it's our way of "showing the love" to each other. We used to make food to bring, but everyone really starting packing on the pounds. LOL

Gray, I do the same thing now, had to give my assistant a lecture about an on-line friend she has...she didn't like it too much. Oh well. We have a responsibility to share what we have learned, but some people need to learn by the school of their own hard knocks, not ours.

Somewhere in the back of his head it hit home though...and it will grow. He won't trust her regardless, she who left her own husband for another man, nor she him.

Nobody wins in an affair, from what I can tell.

oooh, Dire Straits is in my top five. Bands, not ens. Well, maybe in ens too. Another is CCR. I have just about everything both groups have ever recorded. I still have an old 8-track of CCR I can't bring myself to throw out.

GC, you did a lot better than I would have. I would have had to move away before I decked him or something. (Reminds me of Alice's Restaurant...)

Uh, weird. My friend/OM's friend just called to tell me they're going to the same place as me tonight. She said OM thinks I'm super cool. What the?

I was not gentle. I'm surprised. And now I probably have to talk to him some more.

GC

Graycloud,
It's interresting - that's for sure.

How good is happiness at someone else's expense?
What does that buy a person?


Notice that Binder has been really quiet since his date. After all his talk about YOU Gray. Makes one wonder.

Weaver, we do expect a full report. And I'm 50 and not afraid to say it. 4 grand kids too - all cute. They don't get that from me.

Faithful, we did a date last night to a new place. It was our 2nd choice,(the first one had long lines) and I didn't know it was so upscale. Booth with sheer curtains. Private, with really good service, and really good food. Expensive though - oh well, she's worth it. After we went to a furniture store and looked at kitchen chairs. No decisions yet, but it was fun.

How about you?

2long, are you going to tell us about your hot date, or just bait us?

J, have fun. I'm still praying for you right along.

SS

Hey all,

This thread is all over the map lately……It’s actually been a lot of fun catching up.

GC, I must agree with SS on your post to Rivertam, probably the greatest display of your eloquence. You were firing on all cylinders that day.

It sounds like you took used the right tact on this OM too. A difficult situation to be sure and one that requires some finesse to keep the infidel engaged while still conveying your disapproval. Apparently you may have the opportunity to continue the lesson.

One of my friends at work had to fly off to the coast this week to keep his mother from completely losing her sanity. A year or so ago his father, after about 40 years of marriage, decided to call it quits. I’m well aware that the vast majority (I’ve heard 90% quoted somewhere) of long term marriages and those with children that end in divorce have infidelity issues. I raised that possibility to him when this started, but he was reluctant to consider that scenario. Eventually the truth came to light regarding the relationship between his dad and the wife of one of their close friends. It’s a small town and dad is a high ranking bureaucrat. The subsequent explosion was classic affair 101 stuff that we read on these pages everyday. They are divorcing. This week was the final dismantling of the household chattels and his mother is having a complete meltdown. He is the sibling that is most able to fly off to help his mother get through this.

Before all of you think what a great guy he is, he too left his wife to chase some hairspray honey around several years back. I talk to him about that sometimes…again classic affair stuff. Left wife, moved into building where OW lives 2 years later trying to get back with wife, they ended up divorced.

Oh yeah…my “date”. This girl is the sister in law of a chap I work with. He was telling me that she wanted to meet a nice guy (insert joke here) and suggested me to her. He took one of my cards and passed it along to her and she fired off an email to me. As I’ve never met her she ended up sending me a photo of herself too.

I responded by sender her THIS PHOTO of myself. I didn't hear back from her for a while.... She did her research and was relieved that I was pulling her leg. We met for a drink at a nice lounge by her condo. She’s a petit 35 year old, no children, never married, though she lived with a man for about 7 years. Very down to earth lady, completely comfortable in her own skin and no sense of guile that I could perceive.

My friend at work said she can be rather shy at first and it was a tad awkward as we had never met before and she seemed nervous. She really made an effort to keep the conversation going though and was quite lovely about the whole situation. We had a cup of tea back at her condo and parted ways.

I’m not “smitten”, but I’ve suggested to her since that we go for a bite after work one of these days. Her office is about a block from mine so we can have dinner sometime and catch an early show.

I’m not about to get drawn into an exclusive relationship right now. I’m not close to trusting my judgment with women right now and I want to be exposed (OK, minds out of the gutter) to a number of women. I seem to have a bunch of friends and aquaintences that have "just the right girl" for me too.

BTY way SS, great pics. You seem to have a knack for that. I'm jealous of some of the warm weather settings. We went sledding here today. Still a foot of snow on the ground.

Binder, I could just knock you silly for that picture! My daughter was sitting with me at the computer when I pulled it up.

I am laughing so hard I can't stand it...but she just keeps saying "OMG Mom, is that one of your "guys"..is it mom? OMG, OMG, OMG...why do you show me that? It's sick, is it one of your guys mom, OMG".

Have more to say but need to go shut her up now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

For our wayward friends -

They don't know any better, but they will...

James Blunt - Billy Lyrics

Billy's leaving today (don't know where he's going).
Holds his head in disgrace (he can't escape the truth).
He knows the price that he's paid.
He admits that it's too late to admit that he's afraid.
Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he's always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy.

Billy's leaving today (don't know where he's going).
He's got lines on his face (they tell the story of his pain).
He accepts it's his fate.
He admits it took too long to admit that he was wrong.
Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he's always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy.

Once he was a lover sleeping with another.
Now he's just known as a cheat.
And he wish he'd had a mirror; looked a little clearer.
Seen into the eyes of the weak.
Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate.
The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late.
Old doors are closed but he's always open,
To relive time in his mind.
Oh Billy.

DAMN!

I just lost a long post.

Won't repeat it, I'm tweaked!

Short version:

GC, I think you did a great service, though it may not bear fruit for YEARS. I wish I had that kind of oppor2nity.

SS:

Not much 2 say. We had a hot 2ple of days. Things have seemed 2 be progressing, but 2day I'm not so sure. I hate this recovery stuff.

But I have 2 slog through it.

-ol' 2long

>Another is CCR

Aph - Just got warm squidgy feelings for you. CCR is def. a top need for me...when I was in 3rd grade, my parents bought me their greatest hits (recorded by K-tel - remember K-tel?)....

Now, I'm going to be singing all day...

My office mates thank you from the bottoms of their little hearts!

Powerful!

GC, another opportunity.. I think your are way cool. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

2long, as long as there is progress.. Are you happy?

SS, love the sound of the place. Hope you told your W she is worth it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Kimmy!

Binder, I almost spewed my coffee over that pic!

ff:

happy?

Reasonably so, I must admit <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I've noticed a possibly fundamental mental shift (that's funda x (mental)*2) recently, all without either of us speaking a word.

Far, far less squirming in our respective seats when stuff is said on the news like this morning "Infidelity is not thought 2 be a factor in the preacher's murder". There was another one like that recently, which was the first time, and we even talked about it as in how it relates 2 our own recent experiences, but I don't remember what the story was about.

I'm a bit apprehensive still, but happy for the most part.

-ol' 2long

2long said:
I hate this recovery stuff.

But I have 2 slog through it.

Like they say -
The alternative is worse -


Faithful - Yes, I told her. More than once.

And things at your house?
Still improving?


Binder - I was trying to tease you when I mentioned your date - mostly. I see you are pretty good at reading people. Is that partly a result of time spent here, or were you good at it before?

You usually say little about your feelings. I hope last week was not really hard on you. I realize it could have been a rough time.

Graycloud, It feels like your life is turning to spring. The buds are out, I hope we don't get a cold snap.

SS

yes, SS little bits of improvement. I am not quite where 2long is but getting along ok.

OK is better than rotten.

I'll know you are doing really good when I hear you get excited.

Is DD coping well?

SS

SS, my DD is doing great! Her grades have gone up and her whining has gone down. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> DS has been much happier too. I guess everyone needed their dad to committ.

I guess everyone needed their dad to committ.

To them, it's the whole world - both of you together. They get cues from you, and you must be doing much beter.

Got your vacation plans together yet for this summer?
I think recovery demands a vacation. Not to mention DD, and DS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

SS

SS, thank you for your comments about the RT post. I don't think I finished a post saying so before.

Spring, I don't know. We'll see.

GC

Tomorrow is my bday and my H is taking the morning off to spend with me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Initially I had hoped for the whole day but I have to call in for a conference call and he has this hang up about not missing work...so we compromised. Actually works well for me cuz I get some much needed time alone in the afternoon. hmmm..maybe shopping or a bubble bath..

Concerts. Best concerts. Worst concerts. Hmmm. Okay, I'm just going to do the ones I enjoyed a bunch.

The Nylons with people I could dance with.

Michelle Shocked in a small venue where every single person there knew all the words to every song she sang. On two separate occasions.

Indigo Girls. First in a tiny little auditorium in Chapel Hill before they got famous, then at a giant stage in Seattle. Same girls doing the same great music, though.

Dire Straits. Holy cow, that was awesome.

Peter Gabriel. Decent show, but he was tired and the band was off.

Fred Small. One of the best folk singers of our lifetimes. He's a unitarian minister these days. Wish he was still singing, even though his songs make me cry. Those are the only songs I know that are -too- powerful. People listen to them and are so horrified and moved that they can't listen to them again. Makes it difficult to be a commercial success.

Sting. Smallish venue, good seats... and then AWESOME seats when my ex went up to do some of the sign language interpreting during the encores. She got to do Fortress Around Your Heart.

And lastly ... Mannheim Steamroller Christmas concert with HoFS holding my hand. We got moved from where we'd started out -- and ended up in about the third row of the first section of seats. Awesome.

Other stuff. GC, when you ground and get solid in what you believe, people know it. Sometimes they'll respect you for it. Other times they get pissed. I'm glad this particular OM went in that direction.

Me. Ah, me. I've been doing some interesting things the last few days. It was HoFS' birthday this last weekend. He's in a world of hurt with his hands (carpal tunnel; one surgery done, the other next week) and his knee (MRI last week, don't know results yet) and a few other major non-medical things going on in his life.

So I packed a few things and put me and DD in the car and we drove over there on Saturday. It's 365 miles. We did it in just about six hours.

He was stunned. I'm not sure he was able to be happy, 'cause he was stunned and busy and tired and disconnected and all that stuff.

By Monday morning when we left, though, things were... well. Really good begins to describe it. I think we learned some things about how hard it is, and how important it is, to find time to be connected even when there are four kids in the house, at least two of whom are pissed off about their entire existence.

This weekend we'll be at Cerri's for her party. We're still working on costumes. It's tough going, but I think we'll come up with things.

Work continues to be unsettled. It's a little difficult, but I'm doing what I can to make progress and provide support. I need to keep myself grounded. Sometimes that's hard to do, but that's all right. I need the practice.

My cousin is sick. Really sick -- when his sister called me on Sunday, she was leaving to be with him, and she didn't know whether she was going to make it before he died. He didn't die, and his vital signs are better. He still has a long way to go, though. Ketoacidosis and pancreatis, blood sugar over 400, cholesterol and tryglicerides in the stratosphere, BP 96/36 and dropping, pH levels way out of whack, heart rate way the heck too high, pneumonia, a massive infection of some kind that led to a fever of 107 for a while. Ended up on a ventilator, with (temporarily?) failed kidneys, and not responsive to the people around him.

That's a lot. I guess it all started on Wednesday or so, and went straight to heck pretty darned fast.

He's getting slowly better. Heart rate and blood chemistry heading back toward normal ranges, and he's gettingn closer to breathing on his own. There's still a long way to go -- he has an MRI today to evaluate the damage to his pancreas and whether there's any brain damage from the fever. *sigh*

It's been like that around here. Lots of colleagues and friends have family members who are very ill as well. Funny how that seems to go in waves. I'm sure there's something about the weather that does it.