My floors are done.

Yes, I was thinking that eariler in the year, you had taken vacation time to work on them.

Hello to you too !

SS

When is the party? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Congrats on finishing the floors.

Soon, FF.

Today I read a report that there will be a movie based on the lives of Daniel and Mariane Pearl.

My brain short-circuited. I'm a huge admirer of Mariane Pearl.

http://www.sgi.org/english/wfp/activi/p_testim/p_testim_mpearl0504.html

GC

Page 6 is a long way down.

My floors are done, too. I hope to get the house back to livable sometime soon. Right now I have bits and pieces of things everywhere. My goal for tonight is to make my bed and get my clothes back in my room. (Last night we did that with DD's things.)

I was in Ohio this weekend. No one thinks it's a coincidence that HoFS discovered a flooded bathroom that had leaked for several days (while he was away at a conference) when we walked into the house. Floods follow me.

And I got home a day late thanks to a traffic accident and resultant 45-minute traffic stop on the freeway. The good news is that we weren't involved. We just had to sit there for a long time.

I would like to retrieve my cat from the vet, but they'll be closed by the time I get there. Maybe I can pick him up tomorrow. He's costing me a ton of money. Probably upwards of $1000 now. But apparently he's feeling much better. That's good.

(Does anyone want a gray tabby? Generally good disposition except when he attacks you for no reason. Now takes prednisone and Pepcid A/C for irritable bowel disease.)

I have a ton of work to do. This is always true, but seems a little more true today than other days.

Gray, I read that article you posted. That's amazing. Would that all of us could react to death and destruction that way. I know exactly what she's talking about. I don't know if I could do it though. She really is amazing.

Consider the details of her experience. The brutal murder of her husband, televised across the world, posted all over the Internet, while she was pregnant with the only child they'd ever have.

J, has the word ethics started to appear in more mainstream publications recently, or does it seem that way because my choices of reading material have changed in the last coupla years?

GC

Her experiences are the kind that either break you or make you unbreakable. It sounds to me like she was already unbreakable. Me? I'm not so strong.

I don't know the answer to your question about ethics, Gray. If it is happening that the world is paying more attention to a word like that, I think it's a good thing. And not just lip service, but a real investigation of what ethics are and what they mean to each of us, every day.

Integrity is another good one.

And honor.

And compassion.

Me? I'm not so strong.

Lets hope you never have to find out the same way she did.


It looks like Gray passed his test......... He just doesn't seem to know it fully yet.
Maybe we should send him a copy of his grades in the mail, (return reciept requested) and have him sign for them.

Those are some words that need to be better understood and then the concepts applied to our lives.

What a difference it would make in the world.
I'm working on it for me. Slow though.

SS

Test? Whatever you mean, I reckon having passed is good, no?

I don't feel like I've "passed" anything.

GC

I don't feel like I've "passed" anything.

You went through the last two years, and you didn't self destruct.

You just felt like it.

J, it's different for all of us. You have been through a lot too. Still going through it in fact.

Sorry.

SS

SS, there's nothing to apologize for, at least for me. I think you were right on the money. And I sincerely hope that I'm never tested the way she was. She probably wouldn't want my tests, either, though she'd probably "pass" with flying colors.

Remember how I said I was going to take the next 5 weeks as a spa vacation at home? Sheesh. Right after that the floor refinishers called and said they were coming the next day. I was up until 2am moving furniture and getting things ready that night, and then until almost that late the following night doing the same stuff after they'd pulled up the carpets and done their other initial work.

I got everything moved and protected before they started sanding, but it was a big job. Then I went to Ohio for the weekend and was so stressed and exhausted that I made HoFS miserable for a full 24 hours before I calmed down. Then we got caught in a traffic jam and I missed my plane home and when I got home I got to deal with sick kid (goopy crud running from her eyes; Aunt Pediatrician says it's a virus and there's not much to be done), putting the house back in order, retrieving much-healthier cat from vet, and getting ready to leave again to go to a wedding this weekend.

Isn't there a book called Women Who Do Too Much? I think I might be on its cover.

While I've been moving things around in the house I've been tossing as much clutter as I can. I've taken quite a few bags of stuff to the women's shelter and have another bag started. Today I'm going to list a desk and chair on Craigslist, and I have a few other things in mind that I can do that with.

But I've started to seriously consider a major simplification: selling my house. It'll be lovely when I'm done remodeling and having the drainage redone so the basement doesn't flood. And I'm going to replace the fridge and dryer, and I'll probably buy a new dishwasher too. And I need to paint -- the new floors really show how worn the paint is, and of course the baseboards are pretty battered now.

So it'll be in good condition if I do decide to sell it. (Or if I decide to keep living in it.)

But I've been fantasizing about a one- or two- bedroom apartment with much less space to keep clean. I think I might really like that. I don't know what I'd do with the cat (he might have to find a new home; another simplification) and I'd have to get rid of a lot of furniture (another simplification).

And gee, if I bought a condo, I bet I could live without a mortgage payment. That'd be a simplification for sure!

SO tempting sometimes. Dunno what I'd do with HoFS and his kids when they come to visit. Hmmmm. Hmmmmm.

Still. I can daydream!

"Sorry"
SS, there's nothing to apologize for, at least for me.

Sorry for the way more than normal work load.
Sorry it affects your ability to enjoy time with HoFS.
Sorry for the money it costs that could go to vacation, or hobbies, or things you WANT, not things you NEED.

That book - about doing too much. I think it's called
"Women who do too much, and what it actually costs them to do it."

High cost for some things, but sometimes there are no good ways out of it.

Notice Gray didn't comment. He doesn't like to admit he did well under fire. All the bad feelings he had may keep him from relalizing he looks pretty good for what happened to him. We can tease him though, and maybe draw him out.

He's a good sport about it, I'll say that for him.

SS

Warning: this post does not end in me dating anyone.

I went to an event recently. While there, I met and briefly chatted with a young woman who is now after me. I'm not really interested, but I could tell she was. Now I have pressure from mutual friends who want my permission to give this girl my email. Trying to decide what to do there. Honestly, I don't even really remember what she looks like.

Sometime this week is the 1st anniversary of my divorce. I think it's about time to throw me a party.

GC

[2long blows whistles, inflates balloons, passes out chinese finger puzzles 2 others around the fire, then walks over 2 the cooler and treats himself 2 another Arrogant Bas2rd Ale]

-ol' 2long

Hey no parties without the weav.

Gray,

On a trip to Cancun before I met my daughters Dad, during a period of my life where I just basically wanted to "be" and wasn't looking to date anyone, my friends felt I needed to go out with someone in Cancun who wanted to go out with me. Well I wasn't in the least bit interested but they kept up the pressure, even to the point of saying I was being a real drag (or maybe it was a pain in the backside) because I wouldn't get together with any guys while we were there.

They ruined my whole vacation for me with their pressure and I ended up feeling like I was a drag and had let every one down.

Point of the story? Do what you want, with whom you want. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

GC, hon you are one smart cookie. Why? Because you are allowing yourself to really heal from the trauma of the A and D rather than masking the pain with the endorphins of lust. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> I truly respect you.

[color:"red"] W[/color] [color:"green"] E [/color] [color:"blue"] A [/color] [color:"orange"] V [/color] [color:"yellow"] E[/color] [color:"purple"] R[/color] [color:"pink"] ! [/color] Hi ya, girlie! How is P?

Thanks FF. I went with NO on this one. It's funny, the other night I told the mutual acquaintance I wasn't interested, and I even gave her plausible deniability: "I've got too many irons in the fire," I lied.

Some people can't take a hint. She asked me to explain, so I admitted there were no irons. She'll never make it as a secret agent (the mutual acquaintance I mean).

FF, about what you wrote...

As recently as a few months ago I was often depressed and angry. Being alone has probably made it easier to be aware of the ebb and flow of all the emotions stemming from the loss. I'm finally getting the hang of being alone and I'm learning how to keep out of the weeds.

I wondered along the way if I was taking the wrong attitude, was "holding on to my anger", was "refusing to forgive", all that kinda stuff. Maybe. But all the rewiring and scar tissue development just takes a certain length of time and the philosophy you embrace doesn't change any of that. It just helps you through the day.

Regardless, I doubt I'd have been as aware of my own changes if I'd been with someone. Don't know if that'll make any difference in future relationships, but I'm better off for having paddled out of that mess on my own.

But easy on the attaboys. If the right person had come along to distract me, I doubt I'd have put up much resistance.

GC

Oh Faith, she is doing great and we are having a really good summer. She is at work with me today and this weekend I am taking her camping up on the big lake with some friends of ours.

How about your little girl Faith, how is she doing?

I totally agree with that statement. My guess is you will have the right perspective and tools to discern a healthy potential partner from one that is trouble in the making.

Weaver, sounds like fun going camping! My DD is doing great. Sigh.. she is growing up so fast all of a sudden. Takes her forever these days to primp in front of the mirror. Wants to go shopping all the time. Wants new clothes, new shoes.. where did my baby go? Well she still sits on my lap but she is nearly as tall as me now. She is such a lovely person. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I know Faith, it's like BOOM and they are big people with a whole new set of challenges. I just love this age because she still thinks I'm cool and wants to do things with me, but she is her own little person with a budding personality that is awesome.

I got four tickets to a Staind concert for her upcoming birthday and I am letting her bring her little "boyfriend"...this is a huge thing for us, as it is her first concert where her dad wasn't the one playing on stage and she gets to bring "the boy". LOL