My renters ended up getting themselves a really good mouser. LOL

Now I'm thinking my ex was the biggest rat of all.

Weaver,

I think I understand what you mean. I do love her and I don't think I could love a monster. The problem is a forest for the trees kind of thing. I no longer trust my instincts in such things. It would be like imbedding a victim’s family in the jury. My perception is clouded. I need a clear view of everything at once and there is no way I know of to get one by myself. I hoped there may be something enlightening here, I guess.




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Ap, I just found this...thank you for explaining.

You have no idea how much I understand what you have said, living with the man I lived with for five years where his lies were so big and so convincing, I questioned my perception of everything...my perception of myself, my perception of him...everything.

I seriously thought I was going insane.

I will never again live with someone who is capable of lying, love or no love because I love my sanity more.

I hope someday (if it is your desire to continue with your wife as it seems to be) that you have clarity and once again see through the eyes of the innocent.

And now, a word from my Mentor, Dan (It's no wonder I can't talk)
Posted April 4, 2006, 3:23 PM CT
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 31st anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Kathy. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser (stun gun). The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no longterm adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Kathy what that burn spot is on the face of our microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,... right? There I sat in my recliner, my dog Asia looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Asia (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a old dog. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a wife-beater shirt with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....I'm sitting there alone, Asia looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS [email]DESTRUCTION@!behind!%!@*!!![/email] I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The dog was standing over me making whining sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.

SON-OF-A-.... that hurt like heck!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the blades of the ceiling fan. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles? I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.

Still in shock, Daniel

Even when I KNEW he was lying he would twist my mind to the point that I would have believed I was wrong for believing the sky was blue!

FAR,

I LMAO the first time I read that silly story. It is really funny.

Still shopping around for a new me, actually.