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Aphelion #1206483 06/11/07 07:06 AM
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I am winding down MB also. This arriage support leaves a very bad taste in my mouth.


Ap, we need a "vets" board. Somewhere everyone who is no longer a newbie fighting to stay afloat and bust up an affair can talk freely, without worrying about hindering or distracting the efforts of the newbies.

What do all of you think of asking for a forum like that, like a vets or oldtimers forum where we can continue to support each other in our journeys and have open discussions?

still seeking #1206484 06/11/07 10:42 AM
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2long,
We had a great trip. Drove through the big M twice. I see they are building a new railroad bridge.

I'll report on it in more depth later, but I'll be gone these next three days too.

Hope things are well with you.

Things are good, particularly as I wean myself off these boards. Working on that.

We still get stuck waiting for trains, so it'll be nice when they finish that overpass. But then, RR crossing was the only thing resembling a traffic light within 50 miles. It'll be hard 2 know how 2 behave with that gone!

My W and I were just there weekend before last (maybe when you were passing through!). (edited 2 add: My W ac2ally asked if I still correspond with you, as we were driving through St. Jawj). Had 2 open the house up for the summer. We had 3 broken pipes, cause it got so cold this winter. I hear tell the snow stayed on the ground for over a month, with nights around -30F. 42nately, we got smart and put antifreeze in all the traps after the toilet shattered during one of those cold winters several years ago.

Spousal unit is going back next week 2 teach. I probably won't be going back for a while. Lots going on here.

2nd house still isn't sold, though it is in escrow. SIL is still being a pain in the beautox.

-ol' 2long

Last edited by 2long; 06/11/07 10:49 AM.
2long #1206485 06/11/07 10:47 AM
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weaver:

Thrilled that you and GB have a date set!

I might be driving from VT 2 OR around mid-August, but prolly not when I could meet you and GB. You'll be pretty busy, in any case! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I'd be delighted 2 give you 2 a 2r if you're ever in my neck of the woods, though.

-ol' 2long

2long #1206486 06/11/07 11:24 AM
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You are the first person we are calling on when we do make it out your way!

Are you going to be giving logistics updates on your trip like NCWalker (I think) did? That would be cool. Of course not cool if it keeps you from your MB weaning. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

All the more reason we need a "vets" board, 2long. So people who are further along in their healing and moving away from the past can do so and not be constantly reminded.

I am going with GB this Friday to New Orleans, and then in July to Savannah.

We'll be on Mackinac Island the weekend of Aug 17th and 18th for the nups, and anybody who is even close to the island had better come over and celebrate with us.

Are you transitting Canada on your way to or from VT, or keeping it entirely in the states?

weaver #1206487 06/11/07 11:34 AM
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Fill me in weaver so I don't have to go back and read. When is the date?


Faith

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It's 8/18/2007 Faith. Did you see the movie "Somewhere in Time"? We are not getting married at the Grand Hotel, though. Only the very rich or very stupid can get married in that joint. Rooms start at $645/night and dinners at $100/person. Add an extra $1300 to step on the lawn and say "I do"...crazy.

weaver #1206489 06/11/07 12:54 PM
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Are you going to be giving logistics updates on your trip like NCWalker (I think) did? That would be cool. Of course not cool if it keeps you from your MB weaning. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

All the more reason we need a "vets" board, 2long. So people who are further along in their healing and moving away from the past can do so and not be constantly reminded.

There's always iluldotcom, but we don't get a lot of traffic there. Mostly on other-than-infidelity topics, 2 (thankfully!). At least on the public 4ums.

Quote
We'll be on Mackinac Island the weekend of Aug 17th and 18th for the nups, and anybody who is even close to the island had better come over and celebrate with us.

Are you transitting Canada on your way to or from VT, or keeping it entirely in the states?

Looks like, if I do go 2 the Oregon Star Party after Stellafane, I'll be crossing the upper middle of the country on the 13-14th of August. I suppose my route will depend somewhat on speed limits and roads. I leave VT on the morning of the 12th, and would need 2 be in OR on the afternoon of the 16th!

But I still don't know what I'm doing or which way I'm going.

A friend said he might want 2 go with me. If he does, I don't think I should call attention 2 the fact that I've survived infidelity by visiting a lot of my MBer friends. No offense 2 my MB friends, but this friend has known me and my W for almost 30 years now, and the cluster of friends he's in is distant enough that exposure 2 them was never needed (wouldn't have been helpful, either), and close enough that we still enjoy seeing one another a few times/year. I don't want my W 2 feel uncomfortable around them, particularly as she's ended her A and is withdrawing nicely (but very, very glacially).

If I'm alone, of course, I'll try 2 meet as many MBers along the way as I can and have time for.

-ol' 2long

2long #1206490 06/11/07 01:36 PM
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Ah, very soon! Congratulations to both of you, Weaver. How is P with all this? Is she excited?


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That is a cool forum 2long, it's too bad that it is so slow. I guess after everyone leaves here and moves on in their own recoveries we'll just have to meet up on gray's blog.

What say ye graycloud? I bet we could discuss politics there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Or not.

Thanks Faith. P seems excited. She is with her dad for the summer, but coming back for the wedding. She seems to treat life as a great adventure. Her personality fits for what is happening on both sides. Yeah for that!

GB saw P's paternal grandmother's phone number on his cell phone from when we were up at his place and P was in Canada at her Grandma's. He took it upon himself to call this lady last Friday and ask her to talk to her son to get P to call home more often. She's too happy and busy to miss me at the moment and I should be thankful for that, but it kind of hurts. I can't get the kid to call me, or to talk to me more than three seconds when I get her. She did call after GB got involved though...once, for three seconds. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Remember when her Dad was thinking of splitting with his wife and they had the little girl toddler? Well Paige was beside herself with worry over how it would affect her little half-sister. Who she would live with, etc. Her dad then decided to have another baby instead of divorce, I guess, and now has a brand new baby boy. He and his wife are reportedly doing very well.

Yes, P has the kind of personality she needs to be in her families.

Life needs to be treated like an adventure. It's the only way one can keep riding the waves. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

weaver #1206492 06/17/07 03:37 PM
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Hi graycloud,

i saw you ask Aphaeresis if i ever posted to her. i have not. i had not seen her until today. To answer your question, i am still around a bit. i don't post much because i have lost heart in thinking i can be of help. i certainly failed in my life. i see she will be confessing once they are in the same location. so it does not seem she needs convincing that confessing is the thing to do. what were you thinking i could do for her?

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FL, I don't spend much time around here either, but I still skim over GQII every so often, and I thought of you when I imagined that other user's uncertainty about what will happen when she spills the beans.

GC

graycloud #1206494 06/20/07 04:12 PM
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Hi Gray !
Hi Everyone !

2long - I looked for you're van while I was passing through, but of course, I don't know which house to look more closely at.

What did she say when you told her you did still write me sometimes?

I kind of like that town - if it wasn't so cold in the winter. Winters here are much nicer.

We leave on our trip Friday - When I get back you can tell me how things are in OOSP, and what project you are working on this summer. Sorry I've missed your coming and goings.

Weaver, I love reading about your success, and happiness. I know you still deal with every day life, but the GOOD PARTS of life shine through in your posts, and that is so sweet.

Hi Faithful !! ( I know you are part of "Everyone" but I couldn't resist.)

SLH - where are those photos?

Kimmy - whats for dinner?

SS


I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
still seeking #1206495 06/20/07 07:20 PM
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SS:

We drove the ranger pickup that trip. Spousal unit is out there with her class now. She asked if I'd like 2 meet her there on my way back from Vermont in August (though she'll be home for about a month before I go). I might do that, but I'd still like 2 go back 2 the OSP where I went in 2003. I like the remoteness. Extremely peaceful. But I'd have 2 make sure I have enough power for my cameras, telescopes and computers I'd be hauling along...

She didn't say much when I told her we still correspond occasionally.

The other day in her home office, I noticed that the pic2re with RM in it was about 2 fall off her bulletin board. I was hoping it would, so I could step on it or something, accidentally.;) But after I left, I noticed she secured it. She's also got some interesting quote up there about friendships. 2 me, that was a bit dis2rbing, seeing them there 2gether. But it is her process, and she is making some progress, however slow.

The buyers finally qualified for the loan on our 2nd house, but they're not likely 2 get the interest rate they want. I hope they suck it up, do some repairs, and refi down range. It's what I'd do. But we'll know in a few days, hopefully.

-ol' 2long

Last edited by 2long; 06/20/07 07:26 PM.
2long #1206496 06/21/07 12:50 PM
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2 - I hope the house sells, and you can get that monkey off your back.

Are you feeling like this is a good summer overall?

SS


I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
still seeking #1206497 06/24/07 11:01 PM
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SS:

So now we've been back and forth, on an off again with this 2nd buyer. We canceled escrow last week, getting the approval of the buyer's realtor (and the buyer, we thought), because though they qualified for the loan, they didn't like the interest rate and wanted 2 shop around AGAIN for another lender.

But I got a call 2day from our realtor that the buyer was in tears when she got the word from the realtor (like what's the deal with them? We canceled on Thursday!). she wants 2 can her realtor and work directly with ours. Ours asked what I thought, and I said they should go ahead if they want. But we have another person interested in making an offer this week, so they'd better get on the stick.

Friday, I got keys 2 the house. My SIL had changed the locks last summer, sure enough. And the lawyers were telling me we couldn't have access while she was in there. At first, I wasn't going 2 go over there at all - just let it sell and be done with it. But I got curious, and it's a good thing I did. The house had a mural over the fireplace mantle of a wooded landscape that was original 2 the house (built in 1907 or so). It was a high quality 2 or 3 panel painting about 5 feet wide and 2 high. It was mounted into the overmantle, with glass over it and trim details around the edges. it was NOT a pic2re hanging there on a nail. It was built in2 the mantle!

I called my BIL, where my MIL was visiting, and told him 2 have his mom relay the message 2 my SIL that if the mural isn't re2rned, I'm calling the police. I won't give her any of her disbursement per the settlement agreement until it is re2rned.

I asked our realtor if she remembers when it disappeared, and apparently she never saw it. So that means that my SIL removed it before she came on board in March and started showing the house.

-ol' 2long

2long #1206498 06/25/07 08:22 AM
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I'm sorry your SIL has yet again put you into such a crappy position.

What is it with people, anyway. You think that by the time one gets to a certain age they would just know that there is absolutely nothing that is worth stealing. I just can't imagine wanting any thing so badly that I would steal it.

Well GB did steal my heart, and I could still kick his [censored] for that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

SS, yes the day to day stuff...THUCKS! But I tredge on. Bread pudding and rum sauce sure helps. I learned some killer recipes in New Orleans! I've been a cooking fool ever since we got back. My red beans and rice are absolutely to die for, and don't even get me started on those little meat pies. I'm just out and out bragging now, so I'll stop. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

weaver #1206499 06/25/07 12:24 PM
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geez 2long that is really WRONG! Good for you for checking things out first.

Hi SS <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

hello, gray, slh, appy, weaver, JJ and anyone else I missed.

FAR are you coming to the fruits and nuts get together?


Faith

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weaver #1206500 06/25/07 12:25 PM
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oops double post. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Last edited by faithful follower; 06/25/07 12:25 PM.

Faith

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Hi weaver and ff:

Not only did I go back 2 make sure the painting isn't anywhere in the house (in case she puts it in a cabinet or something and claims it was for safe-keeping), I found a pic2re I'd taken of it when we had the house refied a year and a half ago.

I don't recall the artist's name, un42nately, so I don't know its value.

But if it's not back by 2morrow, when our lawyer is back in the office and can advise, I will call our homeowners' insurance company and file a police report.

-ol' 2long

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2long, your SIL sounds like a 1st class loser.

Last week I went to New England for my job. I met wonderful inspiring people. They took me mountain biking and had me to their houses for dinner. These were real Yankees; white collar pros who go home after work and feed the sheep and chickens.

This weekend I stuck around in the Northeast. Went camping and sea kayaking in Maine. Saturday a harbor seal followed me for a mile while I paddled down the fjord in the middle of Mount Desert Island. I'd stop and turn my head around and we'd watch each other a minute, then his head would vanish below the surface. I'd paddle for a minute and look around again, and there he'd be, ten feet off the stern, sniffing and blinking.

Sunday after breaking down my camp and going for breakfast I sat on a big rock by the Atlantic and read The Road. My paperback took a terrible beating as I battled horseflies and read. A few hours later I finished the book. I was sunburned and devastated. This book hit me right where it counts.

Next I climbed a mountain, half jogging up the wash that passes for a path, following blue blazes on trees and rocks. A little Maine mountain but a mountain still, with scrub and wind and cairns marking the routes above tree line.

Feeling some age in my knees and ankles from the descent, I drove my rental to the southwest shore of the island where I sat on the rocks a while longer. Ate chocolate and listened to the waves and to the ringing bell on a buoy marking this side of the channel.

In Bar Harbor I parked myself on a barstool where I had two beers and a good dinner, then spent my last night at a B&B.

I was all alone for three days. I had cell phone service only once, when I hit the summit of Sergeant Mountain and the phone in my backpack went beeeeeeep.

Friday morning I bought The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan before I pulled out of Manchester, New Hampshire. I must have listened to it ten times.

Both nights camping I built fires and sat alone roasting hot dogs and drinking beer and thinking thinking thinking...

GC

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