2l,



If you get close to the port of Sault Ste. Marie, let me know because if GB is in town, we would love to meet you for dinner or lunch, however that is a Mon or Tue and the week of the wedding, so it is unlikely he will be here in town that early. And P is coming home for the whole month of Aug... but hey, there's about 30 to 50 more years available ahead, to meet up over viddles. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oh, I wanted to add that I am glad you are driving around Lake Superior on your way back, because I think it is the most beautiful of the Great Lakes, it's almost downright haunting. Isn't it Gray?

Gray, we are starting a new business and have to go where something is going on and I can't work in my business in Green Bay, not that I really want to stay in this business but I can't afford to quit (just yet).

If you want to go way up there to the far northeast where people talk funny, I say...get going! Once you get remarried and start having babies, you will be kind of tied down.

Faith, my uncle had that so I know how sad it is for everybody. It was really hard. I just wish something would be discovered to stop that horrible disease.

Sounds like a plan. I'll post an update from my Treo en-route, if it looks like we'll be in the area.


I thought it was victuals(?) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> and 50 years? I plan on vying for the title of "Best Daisy-Pusher in the Bone Orchard" that year!<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />


I don't think I've ever been there myself. Been 2 all the others, though.

Wish I could drive the Model A. But it would take a buttload more time!

-ol' 2long

2long, who is handling your prop exchange? I need the name of a company that does them as we are closer to putting our rental prop on the market.

ff:

If it's okay 2 post the name here, I'll do that (I really don't know). Otherwise, email me and I'll give the phone number as well.

Coinkydinkally, some friends of ours just completed an exchange a few months ago with the same company. They were very happy. We've only just started with them, but it was good 2 hear that our friends were satisfied with the process.

-ol' 2long

I'll email you. Thank you!

Superior is a beautiful and completely haunted lake, fa sho.

I met another camper! FAR joined us yesterday at the fruitsandnuts get together. Very cool guy.

Lets take a poll.

Who thinks Binder is still asleep?

SS

I vote that yes, Rip Van Winkle must still be sleeping.



I've never heard of victuals. Is that fruit and nut talk? Around here we say bittles (that's short for beer and skittles <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)

GB had a dream that he expired at the age of 87, sitting on a bench in what he thought was our garden next to our house on a beautiful big hill. I was next to him and I still had long, dark hair. He said it was very peaceful.

Like it matters... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

From dictionary.com:


So it looks like we're 2th right!

Ya gotta love it.

Campfires are so sweet !!

SS

My oldest brother is getta-maddied tomorrow morning.

Today we had the rehearsal and at dinner I chatted with the fellow who will preside. He's an Eastern Orthodox priest.

We discussed global politics, war, and the Middle East.

We talked about how frequently a belligerent approach toward one's enemy fails.

I found myself playing both sides.

He talked about "self-righteousness". I asked what the term meant to him. He spoke about ideological disagreements between people and how steadfast certainty that your position is correct is... the road to ruin.

I have to say, I largely agree.

I understand there are times when evil has the upper hand and good people must become fierce. Absolutely.

And I think of people who suffer at the hands of perpetrators who are not sorry, who do not acknowledge that something they've done has been damaging or hurtful or destructive. How eradicating it is to suffer at the hands of such a person and how certain I am about who is in the wrong in those situations...

Naturally I think of myself in these discussions but honestly I try not to.

Yet - and sorry if this is terribly inarticulate, but I don't feel like composing something clear - I have this feeling that what this priest said is true. That no matter how sure you are, particularly as a victim (don't even think about getting on some "don't be a victim" tear over my use of that word), that the other guy is wrong and that you are right, that damning that other person makes you suffer terribly.

It's unfair. There's no justice.

You have to let go of it.

You have to give up on what a terrible jerk that other person is and stop wishing them harm. You have to give up on requiring that they spend their lives sleeplessly suffering for what they've done.

You remain eradicated.

But you get to live.

GC

I agree, GC. I was thinking about you today. I found a copy of an email you sent me two years ago. It was very touching to read even this much later. Congrats to your brother and may he have a long, happy M.

I think we need 2 hold on2, not only our integrity, but our (sometimes revolting) senses of humor in such times.

I emailed a friend of mine in Ohio recently 2 tell him I will be in his neck of the woods in August. I asked him "How are you doin?"

His humorous reply?: "Still able 2 sit up and take nourishment."

I know him. I know what he means. ...I also laughed a good 5 minutes!

-ol' 2long

I used to know a man who's response to 'How are you?' was always to smile and say, "I'm able to sit up and take nourishment". He died a few years ago - at the age of 90 or so. Even though he was a member of our 'grumpy old men' group at church, I miss him.

You know, if you can sit up, take nourishment, enjoy good books and talk to others you are in better shape than many people. If you can get up, lock your abode, go to work, earn money, stop at the grocery on the way home, fix dinner, log on and chat with others around the world, you are so blessed.

OK Weaver…..this one’s for you….since you asked and SS called me out.

I’ve been conspicuous in my absence it seems….yeah…but for all the right reasons I believe. I’ve been engaged in my life for the past while and actually feeling quite healthy in most regards. I still have those moments of self-doubt; the times where the past failures nag at my peripheral vision and attempt to sidetrack my personal growth, but those moments are transient and fleeting. I’ll give you the hard data first.

XW? Seems to be living the life of Riley. Her affair shows no sign of deterioration or termination. The home-wrecker still lives in his city 300 km to the south and she here, but he does have an airplane to commute and she continues to work part-time to keep her time free to pursue her affair. In fact, she has recently purchased and is about to move into a lovely home in the neighbourhood near the river worth close to 1 million bucks. There’s no way she can afford that on her own even with the presently inflated prices houses are going for and the equity realized in her house. So….obviously Dr. dalliance his footing the bill. Moving in? I dunno. Why? He can have his shag pad here and carry on in his business and see his children back in his city.

Bitter? Me?

I used to love riding my bike to work. Best part of the day at times. I too live near the river here and can ride to work along the trails just popping into the downtown core to ride the last km. to my office. On the way home I need to struggle up a long hill and then slowly make my way down a gentle slope for the final push to my house. Now….just as I regain my breath from the hill I am presented with the site of this expansive home right in front of me. I guess I get to look forward to that view with this piece of slug phlegm occasionally holding my daughter on the front porch. Plan B goes on…..but I think I can only maintain it for another 40 – 50 years.

As far as the kids go, my son turns 10 soon and my daughter 6 this fall. They’ve adjusted as best as they can, but I remain wounded by the situation that was forced upon them. My schedule at work has remained constant so I continue to work 4 -10 hour days with weekend off and I have them all weekends. My employer has been great with my situation and has even granted me a promotion last fall. My parenting arrangement is up for a review this fall as my daughter has reached school age. I will attempt to maintain the arrangement as is and will be having an interview with one of the most reputable family lawyers this city has to offer.

OK…now for the salacious stuff.

Met a girl.







She looks like an absolute high maintenance princess…but nothing could be further from the truth. She has gone camping with me, been out to the cabin and showered in my jerry rigged propane tank outdoor shower, and has even landed a pike with me. Absolutely drop dead gorgeous….nearly 13 years my junior….never married…..no kids.

But…..she has the typical “modern philosophy” towards marriage though I’ve been able to get her to re-evaluate her position on the sanctity of the union. She has met my daughter, but not my son. He has been, up until recently, hostile towards the idea of anyone in my life. I’m going slow with that….real slow….it has been a point of contention with her and she has pressed for further involvement in my “family life” I’m not so sure yet….I’m not sure I’m ready to commit to a single person just yet and would not want to involve the emotions of my children with someone that may not been around forever. Her age also gives me some concern. I mean really…..30 is more of an expiry date than an age isn’t it? I need me a 20-something year old!

OK….just being flippant, though the age difference does give me some concern if I were to make this a more permanent arrangement.

So….that’s it in a nutshell. A superficial summary to be sure, but I figgerd I’d share. I lurk on occasion but reading these posts almost feels like looking at a photo album at times. I say to myself: “Was that me?” It seems like another life…so long ago at times…like yesterday on occasion.

The banter is comforting too. Good post on “letting go” GC. I’ll get there one day.

Thanks - I was wondering if we needed to come looking for you.

I see some things still pain you sometimes.

Has this been a good summer?

SS

Well, that was worth the wait. You are a good writer, Binder, with a great vocabulary. I love that. Still got a llittle humor going on, too!

You have a beautiful mind, and I just can't wait until your writing reflects all the beauty that this life has to give.

I'd say from what little you wrote, that you are not in love, and on marrying again... you have all the time in the world. She sounds like a great girl, though, and a lot of fun. I mean dang, Binder, you must still "got it". LOL

There is only one thing that can truly heal a broken heart, and that is love.

I used to think it was all about forgiveness, but now I am not so sure. Maybe forgiveness is just too broad or more precise, perhaps too limiting a word.


I don't even think I have forgiven road rash. I just simply don't care. I can't say however, that I want good things for him, because I don't.He deserves bad things and I would like to see him get what he deserves, so true forgiveness must have alluded me, but I have forgiven myself and I am happy...and I love.

You guys, I read Depak Chopra's "Buddha" last weekend, and it was such a good book. It was written in story fashion, and I just couldn't put it down.

It blew my mind about how Buddha threw away all notions of searching for our higher self, or searching for God, or even if there was a God, and instead found upon his enlightenment that it is within our own right-mindedness, within our own mind that we can obtain enlightenment, or in other words freedom from suffering.

Well I can't really explain it, but it sure was a beautiful story.

On another note, I have been searching for the most awesome fragrance I can find as a wedding gift for GB. We both love expensive perfume but neither one can justify spending $600/oz on a really, really great one. So I am going to buy him something outrageously expensive. I have been ordering samples from all over, and I think I finally found one at Lucky Scents in L.A.

So how totally shallow is that????? To be obsessed with perfumes? Isn't it wonderful? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I could laugh out loud at the beauty of it.

That's why I am not really posting on the board anymore, it seems like the wrong board to be jumping up and down with love for life and all it beholds... insensitive to the pain here.

weaver, I think you're wrong. I think that this forum needs those kinds of reports. Deep, shallow, whatever. Happy is the point, IMHO. Those in the throes of this infidelity crap need 2 know there is a "real world" that looks nothing like what they've come 2 accept as their reality since d-day.

My W still believes that life sucks. I prefer saying that "it pulls a good vacuum" because that's stating it more positively. It's also funny, and uplifting because it's funny. It's taking the crap by the horns (does crap have horns?) and shaking the sh... well, I'll stop there. Meta4 is getting a tad grody.

I also think there's nothing wrong, really, with not forgiving phlegm bag, or whatever his name was, or Rat Meat, or whatever HIS name was. It is sufficient 2 simply remove them from your conscious life.

Forgiveness of self is the key, and one that my W can't yet bring herself 2 do. And so I think she still suffers unnecessarily. I try 2 help when I can, and when she'll let me. But I don't let it get me down 2 much if she won't let me.

Binder? You live in the GWN somewhere doncha? but possibly the western GWN...

All: I'm firming up my travel plans for next month now.

*SS, If you're going 2 be around the afternoon of the 4th, send me an email with your ph number - I lost it when my last phone distappeared.

*I think SD is in Kansas or somewhere like that - on my way 2 Vermont. I should be driving east on I-70 through thereabouts on or about the 5th and 6th.

*We've got a couple of possibilities for the trip from Vermont 2 Oregon, but we're leaning 2ward going through Quebec and Ontario and between Huron and Superior. Probably dip between the 2 lakes on the afternoon or evening of the 13th.

*My friend's daughter lives in Wisconsin somewhere, so we may go there for a few hours. Then I think it's across Minnesota and one of the Dakotas 2ward Oregon. We need 2 be in central Oregon by the afternoon of the 16th. So gc (and others?) in the almost GWN, it'd be cool if we can find a beanery or something 2 scarf foodies on the way.

*After Oregon, we'll probably head down the 5, stop at my sister's in Auburn for a night, then bip the rest of the way home on the 21st.

Stuff like that. No biggie if folks can't make it. I would imagine that weaver and GB will be busy pouring bottles of "stink pretty" over one another that week, in preparations of tying one on (the knot, that is).

-ol' 2long

You are probably right. For me, it was the women on this board who are successful in their lives (happy, loving, at peace with themselves) who by reading gave me direction in what I wanted my life and myself to be like. Also the men who were dedicated to the big picture, spiritual so to speak, who gave me an idea of the type of man I should be choosing to be in P and my life.



<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />



This is interesting because I spent a large part of my life trying to understand why my dad was bound and determined to drink himself to death. It had to do with the two years in Nam, I do know that. The last couple of years of his life I tried so hard to get him to forgive himself, even giving him a copy of Thomas Moore's "Care of the Soul" one time after detox while he had a long stay in the hospital. In the book Moore tells of a (greek?) story where this man commits some sin and ends up being visited by the three furries who bring suffering on him for seven years while he stumbles around in the desert. Finally after all this suffering the guy says "God, I have had enough. I have paid for my sin. I don't want to suffer anymore" And immediately the three furries leave and he is visited by three ferries who bring happiness and good fortune to him for the rest of his life.

My dad didn't get it, but I did. And so will your wife one day. One day she will choose happiness. She is not self- destructing with booze, gambling, etc. so she will get to a place of self-forgiveness and happiness.



Funny. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />