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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 847
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Posts: 847
Caren, Caren, Caren...

Your modified Plan As and modified Plan Bs are the same ol' thing.

Of course you'll settle for the relationship you have, because its obvious by your ACTIONS that you already are.

We've heard this all before, so why are you so incredulous that your H or anyone else won't value these words you repeat over and over?

Caren, if anyone is in a fog, its you. Wake the heck up. You've allowed yourself to be stuck in victim mode for so long, you can't even see where YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for your situation.

EVERYTHING is up to you, Caren. Stop copping out of this and laying the blame on your WH.

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823
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CarenMc Offline OP
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I'm not blaming anyone....so not sure what you're talking about. And I have made plans to end all of this, it's the implementing that I have trouble with.

I don't feel like a victim, I feel like me again, and I'm just biding my time.

I know it's all up to me, I've known that for a while now. By the way, as I stated in my previous post....the only reason my plans are *modified* is because there is no OW anymore....so it's not like I'm trying to *Break up* the Affair....I already did that.....so what would you call it, if not modified?!

Also in my preceding post, I said that saving the marriage was really more up to him than me, and I stand by that. I've done everything in my power to save it....to no avail. He's never had to do without me, I don't think he believes he ever will....even if he divorces me. So I am going to take myself out of the equation.

A friend is going to loan me some money to move out, I have been speaking to apartment complexes, and I have been sending out resumes like crazy.

I don't see how exactly I was copping out of anything....or laying the blame on anyone. I generally come on here and just type what is going on with me on any given day. I don't do it so you guys will feel sorry for me, it's just a release, and I do enjoy getting the feedback.

I think I'm a reasonable person....I know I have issues, but I think I'm working through them nicely. And as I have stated on numerous occasions...I am only at that house with my H because I lack other options....if there were another option, I'd have taken it a long time ago.

-Caren


Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.

BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 774
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Hi Care,

I always stop in and check on you. I also did not understand where everyone was coming from with their reponses, at first. I think that it may be the contact your H has had with the OW (buying candy, I think). That is a sign that he may have never really stopped contact - Don't they still work in the same mall? Don't you think that he really could still be having an A, at least an EA? And you know what they say about ANY contact...

That was what I gathered about the sudden heated posts, or perhaps they are just fed up with you (esp SF, you know how Sourguy feels about STDs and your H probably was never tested). Only speculation on my part, I don't know what anyone else is thinking, sometimes I don't even know what I am thinking. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I really do understand what it's like to be poor, maybe that gives me a little more understanding for you Caren. But don't let it scare you too much, your backbone is showing, I can tell you are tough.

Good Luck,
jls

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823
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CarenMc Offline OP
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Yes, getting tougher by the day. I should be receiving the loan from my friend within the next few weeks.....and then, as they say......it's ON. I will be moving out of there....and I will be in Plan B.

It doesn't *bother* me, per say, when people nail me like that, it just confuses me. I am doing everything in my power to rectify my situation, and I don't feel as though I am a victim. I am, for the first time, in a long time, taking control of my life.

And as I said before......I will be having SF with him up until the day I move out......not for him, FOR ME. I am married, so therefore I won't be getting SF from anyone else, that would be against my morals as a Christian.....so it's probably going to be a LONNNNNNNG time before I get SF again, once I move out....just trying to get *caught up* <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

-Caren


Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.

BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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