Hello everyone I'm new here so bear with me.

I'm 27 and I am married and we have a beautiful daughter togehter. Me and my wife marries back in July and she had our daughter in August. Now let me back up her for a minute. I DID NOT MARRY her becuase she was pregnate, I did it because I love her.

Now my issue is this..About three days after my daughter was born my wife's mother came down from Wichita, Ks. to see the baby. I thought everything was fine until my wife told me she was going back with her mother. Me at the time I was working and I couldn't just up and leave or I would have but I did go up there this past month only to be racked with the same pain all over again. Her mother did not want me there at all and I had to leave and she told me my wife was not comming with me. I could her her crying in the other room as well..It took all my strength to not get an attitude. My wife wants us to be together but her mother is so say holding her and my child hostage because she does not like me. I thought marriage meant me and my wife were a team and we were supposed to be together until death? I do not know what to do anymore and I don't want this marriage to end, for our childs sake I do not want that.
I don't think that it's too healthy for the child not to have both parents around either. I have no way of going back up there and getting my wife and child either, I am really afraid that this will end though.
I talked to my wife on the phone but she cannot talk to me without her mother listening in on us and such. The mail is the same way, her mother reads her mail before she does.
I wish I knew what to do weather it be a legal matter or what...If anyone can advise me and help give me some ray of hope pleas by all means do so..
Posting this on the net is like a last resort for me because I've run out of options.

ALso I told my wife I would buy her a bus or plane ticket but theres no promise she will get on it due to the fact she has to have her mother take her everywhere. My wife told me she would do it but I'm not so sure anymore.

Thanks for any help everyone.

Joey:

Like everything else here............THERE IS MORE TO THE STORY.........so please, whatever it is, fill us in. We can't help you or offer advice based on incomplete information.

Please correct me if I am wrong on the facts of your situation. You met your wife, conceived a child with her and then married her (all of course for "love" as you felt you needed to qualify this to us) and then helped her deliver this child shortly therafter.

You "thought" everything was going well, but all of the sudden for no apparent reason your wife up and went home to Kansas to be with her Mother. You wanted to go, but you couldn't because of work. You want to have your wife and child come be with you, but her mother "won't let her"....

OK, well, perhaps it is as simple as that...but somehow, someway I have a hunch there is perhaps "more" to the story. Let us know more, perhaps with telling is how long you have known this "wife" of yours and her family.

On a more important note, you are this child's father and are undoubtedly missing important "bonding" time here. You have equal rights to this child. There is no "job" or likewise that would stop me from exercising these rights, so what is your reason?.....

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It is very, very, very important you seek legal counsel. Whether you just file a petition for custody or a divorce (as a preemption to get her back in the state...you can withdraw the divorce petition later).

If you do not live in Kansas you must find out (do some research on-line) what the residency requirement in Kansas is. You must file in your State before that time to insure jurisdiction in your state.

If you also live in Kansas your wife can file at any time but may need to wait the residency requirement in the County she currently resides to insure the child custody case will continue in that jurisdiction.

That baby is presumed yours and you have every right to joint custody. Make an appointment with an attorney immediately to consider your options.

Mr. Wondering

I am no lawyer but she can't just take your kid out of state without your permission. Get a lawyer now!!!

60 days is the law and she left in August. See an attorney tomorrow. You must file before her (presuming you meet the residency requirements of your state. It may be good news that her mother has not forced her to file already OR they could be waiting for 60 days to elapse from the date she finally went and changed her driver's license to Kansas.

You at least need to file some sort of custody case in your jurisdiction.

If you get beat to the court your child may forever remain in Kansas with your wife and her "loving" family. You can still get visitation there or within 50 or so miles.

Mr. Wondering

Thing is my wife does want to come back here....Her mother is the one not letting her

I'm with lemonman in that there must be more to this story than you are letting on. No woman who loves her H and wants to be with him is going to let herself be bullied by her mother to do otherwise. Heck even teenage girls show more independence than your W [ I should know, I'm a father of two adolescent females <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> ]. So come on, start filling in the blank by telling us the rest of the story.

TMCM

If the mother can hold her hostage than why do you not fear her mother can make her file for divorce/custody in Wichita (sp?), KS. At least if you file in your own state/county they must appear and you can get some answers and protect your right to custody in your locale.

Maybe the attorney you speak to can offer some other solution such as filing a missing persons report or something.

Mr. Wonderings

Listen to Mr. Wondering on this one.

We have no information to base other advice upon, so for now, treat it as strictly a legal issue, that is, if you do love your child and want to help a potentially very weak-willed wife out of the clutches of the "evil mother."

If the mother is holding her hostage, then you should call the Kansas authorities to come liberate her.

How old is your wife?? Is she still a minor??

Yes there must be more to this story.


Why did you choose to post this on a infidelity recovery forum?

Ok my wife is 22 yrs old..I'm 27 Yrs old..Now..she grew up with her mother abusing her physically when she was younger, Basically she is still afraid of her mother, and I have reason to belive that her mother threatened her along the lines of "If you leave and go back to Louisiana I will goto court and get the baby from the both of youtc..etc.. Her mother has some mental issues and some drinking issues. I had to leave from Kansas because me and her mother got into a fight about her drinking and driving with my wife and child in the car. My wife did take my side and agreed with me and the crap hit the fan. I thought I was doing my job as a father voicing my gripe to her...I talk to my wife almost every night and she is comming back here around Dec. 15 or so. She has to put in her nitice at her job and get all the babys stuff tranferred again without her mother knowing about it..I am told everytime I talk to her that she loves me and wants us to be together etc..and what her mother did was wrong and plain evil sna so forth. A female friend of ours here called her mother and they got into it as well and I thought it was funny and so did my wife. Oh my wife finally got her own cell phone soley for calling me and not having her mom listen in on a police scanner in her room and so on..I think everything is going to work out here if we can just get past the crazy mother-in-law.
No-one knows this yet but I did have a restraining order files on her mother today. She is not welcome withing 100 feet of my residence or me. Well my wife knows but she wont say nothing.

I posted here because I'm new here and I didnt know where to put this message lol. Idiot me huh?

Be an F***ING MAN and go get her. What are you doing posting on this forum?

Grow a pair for the love of Christ.

Joey....
I am so with mflake on this!

Your wife wants to go home, you want her home....WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE!

You get on the first plane you can OR drive over there now!

I don't care if you are working! This is your W and child we are talking about....you take the dam Weekend off!!!!!

I usually try to be diplomatic...but I just don't get you!

Daisy

You're going to leave your wife and child with a KNOWN child abuser and drunk?

You are "MAN and WIFE," the mother-in-law can be arrested for kidnapping if "push comes to shove."

Waiting on "notice" to quit a job? Even if I bought that one, a "month's notice?????" Only in some professional jobs is anything more than 2 weeks the "norm," and I SERIOUSLY doubt your wife, at 22, has anything THAT professional of a job.

Waiting of getting the child's "things" together??? Excuse me, besides diapers, 'jammies, and perhaps a bottle if your wife is NOT breast feeding (and with her job, I suppose she might NOT be breast feeding).....are you SERIOUS?!?!?!?!?

Look, Joey, the marital covenant involves "leaving and cleaving" for a REASON. Time to step up to the plate and be the husband of your wife and the father of your child, wouldn't you agree?

I agree with mflake so much here.

As it was explained to me once, "so your family is in CRISIS and where are you?"

Ok, let crazy MIL handle everything, I’m sure it will turn out just fine.

GO GET YOUR FAMILY!

Fooled

Your wife is either using her mother as an excuse to leave you or she is not mature enough to be free. Any grown woman who allows her mother to control her life has serious emotional problems and deserves what she gets. I don't believe the W wants to come back and is just too cowardly to tell you the truth.