no comment about my music??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SC, you can choose to "protect" yourself and sit behind the safety of whatever wall you want.

more familiar, i get.

but is it more peaceful?

does it leave you feeling good about yourself?

this question of JL's is a good one: "are you his W and friend or not?"

it does take time. just keep mulling it all over.

I am really glad to hear about your upcoming weekend plans!!

Seussical The Musical??
Wicked??
Christian. Hmmmm. Christian Rock?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

"I don't care for country music. Not to denegrate anyone who does. Oh, and for those of you who do: to denegrate means to put down."
Bob Newhart <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

SC - if you're looking for Christian Rock, I'd recommend Air1. They stream on their website (http://www.air1.com/), and have a good selection of contemporary Christian Rock that is (to me) more rock than soft elevator music. They're the sister station of KLOVE, which tends to play more of what I term "elevator music".


Apologies for the thread-jack, since this has pretty much nothing to do with the topic at hand.

klove is the station i listen to, it has stations in many cities and you can listen to them via internet too. i guess some of it could be considered christian rock... who knows, what's in a name.

Wicked is an AWESOME Broadway Musical. please tell me you have heard of that??? about the witches from the wizzard of oz?? how they were friends prior to dorthy's arrival... the whole... how did the wicked witch of the west become wicked and stuff?? am i speaking english.

ok, now Seussical , i could see you not knowing that one!!! lol. it was the play our community theatre put on as the christmas production this year. but it looks like it was on broadway at some point, i just read "But the show has its fans--Rosie O'Donnell, for one, likes it so much that she jumped in to play the Cat in the Hat for a month while Roger Bart was on vacation." soundtrack came out in 2001, so i think it is gone now.

anyway.... i have now fullfilled my URLing for the month!!

hi bird!! i'll have to check out air1, although i have not had a problem with the "elevator" music on klove!!

Oh my! Okay. It's now very clear that my musical taste is far afield of most everyone here. I should have known. The only other time I posted some lyrics, it was from the Goo Goo Dolls. No response. Somebody please tell me you have at least heard of these guys?.....

Goo Goo Dolls
"Better Days"
(Jan. 2006)

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this good and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and tempty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow we could stop this fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again...

oh, of course i have heard of Goo Goo Dolls!!!

and my current musical taste is a FAR CRY from what it was 2 years ago.

prior to that i have been to many concerts for Bruce Springstein, Dave Matthews Band, a more local favorite is BoDeans to name a few. I've seen Alanis Morrestte, Indio Girls, what other names do you want me to drop....

OMG, OMG.... I LOVE the BoDeans!!! I've seen them live 3 or 4 times. But don't assume they only have fans close to home! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Okay, whew! Thanks FL, Now I don't feel like such an outcast anymore (at least in terms of music, lol)

I've been going to BoDeans concerts since about 1985.

the first song my kids sang is the "No No No" song!!!!

how far away do BoDean's fans exist??

i'm going to remove the references to the location as soon as you read this....

so get your butt in here and read it!!!

Far, far away....

I gotta get off the computer.
Have a good night.

--SC

bummer.

you have a good night too.

Musical tastes? For me that varies, though I tend to avoid country when I can <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Currently at work I'm listening to Steve Taylor (Christian, 80's/early 90's, new wave/punk), and in the car it's been Petra the last couple of days (Judas Kiss is a particular favorite of mine right now).

Don't listen to much secular stuff anymore. Not even sure who's popular. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

SC,

You said
SC, I don't do guilt trips nor do I buy tickets for anyone else to go on them either. Trust me, on this if nothing else, whatever I post to you it is NOT to insight guilt ( a paralyzing emotion). I just don't think that way.

I also found the rest of that quote bother some, because you are missing something very important if he could do as you say:

he would never have fought for this marriage. You have no clue how important you are to this man, but I think you don't realize that while his life may go on, NONE of the people mention mean to him what YOU do. You have enormous power in this marriage SC. That is why I made the comment I did. I am NOT interested in your guilt or guilty feelings. I am interested in how you see things and the things you don't seem to see. Hence my comment.

Please think about this.

God Bless,

JL

Since I last posted, things have gone from bad to worse.

The porn issue is still a mess. We've had a couple of talks about it, and some of it has been good. But if you think WS's babble, you otta hear a man trying to kick a porn habit. I've heard everything from "Sometimes I was using MORE THAN ONCE a night... but I'm not really an addict." to "Maybe I started watching again to get some new ideas about how to please you."

On the other hand, my empathy for him is growing. All that stuff about kicking him out if there's one more slip-up -- I never told him that, and I don't intend to. He IS trying -- in his own way. And I know this is very hard for him. And that he's struggling and suffering. He was also hurt and angry about the way I withdrew from him after finding him using again. And while I don't want to hurt him any more than I already have, I won't apologize for protecting myself.

Meantime, I broke NC. I went out with a girlfriend on Friday night and we went to a club where the OM's band was playing. I didn't talk to him. Just watched him play. But I know it was wrong to go there. And my H was crushed. Odd thing is though, it's not sending me spiraling back into the fog and withdrawl. Just the opposite. It's actually helping me to finally detatch from OM.

When I first came here, I thought my H and I were two relatively normal, average people who had grown apart and gone astray. I really hoped the MB program could help us. I did not know about my husband's porn addiction. And I grossly underestimated the impact of my childhood sexual abuse on the way I view myself and the way I interact with the rest of the world.

I now believe our individual problems run too deep for a little behavior modification/change in perspective to fix. I believe we are both emotionally wounded.. from way back... and that two sick people cannot create a healthy marriage. I'm not ready to give up on the marriage yet -- not by a long shot. And neither is my husband. I hope the things we have learned here will help us hang onto our marriage long enough to get through our personal recoveries. Then maybe we can take an honest look at whether we have a relationship worth saving. But I don't believe we can truely see our marraige for what it is... much less heal it.... until we get OURSELVES into a reasonably healthy state. And who knows how long that will take. Or whether it will even happen. I seem to have the will for personal recovery, but I'm not sure I have the strength. I'm pretty sure my husband would have the strength needed, but he doesn't seem to have the will right now.

So I'm off to seek counsel elswhere for awhile -- to concentrate for the time being on the only thing I have any real control over anyway -- myself. My personal recovery. I also need to focus more fully on my children, who haven't had enough of my time and attention over the last few months.

Thank you all for all you have done for me and my H. I may very well be back someday. But for now, I need a break.

Sincerely,
--SC

(WOL, if you're reading, I haven't forgotten about that book. I'll get the title from my IC tomorrow and jump on your thread one more time with the info.)

Hi SC,

I've been thinking of you and wondering how your weekend went. seems to me there was some fun planned for you both...


i'm not going to flat out disagree with you here, but i do think you should consider this... exactly who ISN"T somewhat sick.

i know, i know, the degree of "sickness" or baggage varies.

i certainly will not argue with you about focusing on personal recovery. that is absolutely the best thing for you to do. between you and me, this place has helped me probably a lot more than it has helped my marriage. although helping me has helped my marriage too.

i'll keep an eye out for you still and i'll certainly keep you and your entire family in my prayers. God bless!!