Hey Lem,
A lot of us have read here that may not have posted on it. I have a question for you.

What is the protocol for testing for HIV? I guess I mean as to time guidelines. I hear about the 1st and 2nd test, but what is the timeline? My doctor did not say anything about a 2nd test.

Believer and Lady Sheep, I pray that all of your tests come out ok.

You guys have a post going that is very close to my heart.
I originally posted to this in the very beggining of it but I still have my own doubts and thoughts about it.

To update again, the developement of HPV was the very reason I found out about my WW's infidelity. It's a very serious problem that is not talked about nearly enough on this forum. How would you like to married and faithful for 32 years and develope an STD. I can think of better ways of finding out, but, alas, all are devestating aren't they?

Some points I've learned through first hand experience:
Not only did I develope GW on my penis, but also in my anus.
Now let me say, unequickely(sp), I am a straight heterosexual, who has no way engaged in anal sex of any form.
Notheless, I developed GW in my anus as well. I couldn't understand this, as, most WEB SITES didn't support this notion. But I must tell you, this can absolutely happen, regardless of what most agree on.
The eradication of my GW on my penis consisteed of not one, but two laser burning sesions. I can't begin to tell you how plesant this was!!!!
But in terms of my anus, they disappered by themselves in a period of about one year.
I will tell you, and any doctor worth his salt, will tell you the same thing,: Topical ointments DO NOT WORK. They are nothing more than a hoax to people who are desperatate for a quick cure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I,for one, am totally in agreement with LM. This is simply not enough warning to newly BS's that their WS needs to to tested for STD.
Had I only known. I had been married for 32 years. Imagine my devastation, at my family doc on DDay. It wasn't pretty!
All Blessings,
Jerry

Thank you for reading this thread.

Timelines can vary, but generally it takes 6 months of testing from your last exposure to be 100% certain that you have not contracted the virus.

Antibodies to HIV will show up most often within three months, and it is extremely unusual for antibodies to HIV to not be "positive" in the blood by 6 months.

Generally (though there may be some variation), one could get a test NOW (if thought to be exposed), one in 3 months, and then one at 6 months to be certain....although that may be an overkill.

I think 2 negative tests 3 months apart (with no "risk" exposure) in the interim would be satisfacory to me.

I am not exactly certain what the CDC official guidelines are.


Hope this helps.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

LM - I'm still interested in someone (maybe you?) talking to the Harleys about the gap in their counseling. I'll pay half, and maybe some more folks will chip in.

Hi Jerry,

It's good to hear from you again.

Yes, from what I have read GW's can be spread to the anus, unfortunately it happened that way with you and my H. My H is in much pain from it. What I don't understand though is that H said to the NP that his anus hurt, and the NP didn't look there, but prescribed GW med for it anyway. He has had hemoroids in the past. Maybe she just assumed it must be GW there too. Maybe there is a possiblility it is hemoroids, but probably not.

Did your wife ever contract the GW's, if she did what was her treatment?

Lady

I love you, too, sourguy!

Regards,

BB

P.S. You've got mail <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hi LM, Thanks. I am trying to concentrate on getting my surgery done, now this. I was very disappointed having to wait another 2 months, but I understand. I hope the med clearance goes through. I'm sure it will.

Lady

I lurk more than post lately, but I have been following this thread with interest from time to time.

I am very thankful that at least my STBX didn't leave me with the gift that keeps on giving. I just got my negative HIV results back (6 months).

I never have considered being intimate with him after finding out about his infidelity (which turned out to be the latest of more than one infidelity). Although, he still offers to be "friends with benefits" (skin crawling, shudder).

I also wonder why the issue of STDs is not more fully addressed by the Harleys.

Hi Pebbles, good to hear it's negative. Wasn't it one of the longest 6 months of your life...waiting. It is mine.


I wish it was too.

Lady

Just wanted to jump in and add that one of the attorneys I sought counseling from told me that if I had contacted a STD then it would be considered sexual assault and charges could be filed.

Well....this would be assuming that the perpetrator knowingly "knew" they were infected and willfully exposed you to the STD.

Truthfully.....FOR ME, filing a sexual assault charge AFTER the fact of contracting an STD would be of little solace. But that's just me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

The fact of the matter is: MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY ARE INFECTED. Sad, but true.

Lem

Shattered -

I think it is the same in California. If a person knows that they are infected, then there is a problem with the law.

But most WS's don't know if they are infected. They have risky sex without using any protection. That is the norm.

Most of us know that there are diseases out there. Come on, it has been pounded into us. But somehow, most WS's completely forget this. Their OP is clean, pure, and blah, blah, blah.

When I asked my STBX if he had used condoms with his MOW, to prevent STDs, he rolled his eyes and said, "She's not like that!" Well, if a serial cheater is not "like that," who is???

They just think it can't happen to them. The back-to-teenage mentality.

LM, what's your specialty? you sound like your in primary care. But saw a post few days ago that you're setting out to sea... are you a cruise ship doc?
BTW, I haven't seen much talk on hepatitis testing... Hep B and C can be chronic yet treatable and sexually transmitted as well.

Primary care? No, actually probably the opposite of primary care....Trauma surgery. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I know about STD's and Infectious diseases because as a medical student I once wanted to be an HIV specialist. Once I got into the OR arena, I couldn't resist that, but I still have an interest in infectious diseases.

I think being a "good" primary care doctor is probably the hardest task for any phsyician. There is just so much to know.

Your comments on Hepatitis B and C are important and often people (myself included) forget that these diseases are also STD's and potentially deadly and debilitating. They should also be tested for.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I think being a "good" primary care doctor is probably the hardest task for any phsyician. There is just so much to know

so true, lots primary care doctors I know suffer from burn-out, lots of info to keep up on, low reimbursement, and lots of patients that are not compliant... so the q2-3 month checks for cad, htn, dm, are just an exercise in futility trying to get them to improve their lifestyle, take their medications appropriately, eat better, etc...

Stu:

What do you do for a living? Are you in healthcare?

Lem

Lem,
I'm an FP
stu

What if the std is herpers. Unknown for sure if spouse had physical contact with another person, can't prove anyway. My only sexual contact ever and after well over 18 years of marriage I am diagnosed with genital herpes. Been told it could have happened when spouse was sexually active before meeting me. Everyone says there is no test for this unless active case, however there is a blood test called the western blot test now. Even went to a clinic which specializes in herpes and was told that we were only the 3rd case out of many that had experienced this after being married for so long. Doc questioned spouse several time on his faithfulness and he denied being unfaithful even after I left the room.

I know herpes doesn't kill ya and you can live with it, how does one protect themselves especially when no proof of affair and docs usually don't test or tell anyone about this one until there is a sore. Also you can be exposed to it and have it before you know your spouse has it. And according to what I have read it can lay dormant for years.

I thought when I was diagnosed with it that it would definitely show my spouse was unfaithful however not so. And I have more outbreaks than he does.

frequency of your outbreaks depends on some unknown factor of your immune system. Everyone's immune system is different this accounts for different rates of outbreak. Some people will have an intial outbreak upon exposure and not have another for 20-25 yrs while some will have an outbreak once a month.