I didn't realize that.

I was recently diagnosed with Fibro because of some incredible body and joint pain and all the arthritis tests came back normal plus some mental fog. I don't take the meds for sleep or pain cause I need to be coherent for kids.

I get incredible pain down one leg that I just found out was due to the herpes and I thought it was bad shoes all this time on that one leg.

So because of the fibro that may cause my outbreaks to be more frequent? I really hate the fibro diagnosis too.

Spouse also says he did not know he had herpes till I was diagnosed by a outbreak.

Hi LS,
Thanks for reply.
After DDay, I insisted W go to GYN to be tested for all STD's. Came back negative, but interestly enough, her doc examined her and said she could find no evidence of HPV either. Made for interesting convo between her and I but I know from reading, that probably 75% of women who have HPV, do not necessarily manifest GW and they have no idea they even have. It's a given at this point, that she must simply assume it's there, as she gave it to me.
It resides in the cells of the skin and is permanent. There is no cure.
We resumed SF because i smply reasoned that both have this and it's not going to go away. To date, no more GW appearences and none in my W either. I do insist, however that she get a yearly Pap smear(and she's already had a hysterectomy). It's far more dangerous for her than it is for me, and yearly exams are essential to look for any changes in the cells of the cervix.
Hope all goes well in your sitch.
All Blessings,
Jerry

Interesting to me that they did a hysterectomy and left the cervix in... it is rare that they do that.

Stu,
Sorry for the confusion. She had the hysterectomy 24 years ago. Not related at all to HPV.
Jerry

Shinethrough,

It seems strange to me that your W never had signs or symptoms of HPV GW's, but OM did, and you caught it from her.

I would like to know more about how the virus is passed like that, and how she can have it but it does not show up on any tests or visibly on her body, and still spread it.

Stu,
Some women can choose to keep thier cervix if it is in good shape, just as some can keep thier ovaries if they are in good shape. Dr. says my cervix has to go because it is thinned out too much, and dialated. As if having a baby due to the fiboid. It has been that way for quite some time.

Lady

HPV can be passed without any lesions. Like HSV, one can have frequent recurrences or rare recurrences of the lesions depending on your immune system. I've heard from a dermatologist that if one gets exposed to HPV when young then the immune system is more tolerant of it and one tends to get more frequent outbreaks than if exposed in adult age. But that was only a theory. I have not been able to confirm that theory in any literature.
If a woman gets a normal result on a papsmear (which is not that sensitive) than no red flags are raised to test for HPV. Now a days papsmears are done with a "thin prep". instead of smearing the cells on a slide in the doc's office, the cells are placed into a container with a preservative. Then those cells are put through a machine for cell count and identification. From that container HPV testing can be done via DNA analysis. But like I said if the pap is normal the HPV test is not done. Unless one asks for that test specifically even in light of normal papsmear.
I know that some docs in the past will offer to keep the cervix, but that only leave the future possiblity for cervical CA. the Cervix itself serves no purpose; through my training I don't know of any gyn surgeons that do that anymore. The ovary is usually kept in if a hysterectomy is done prior to menopause to keep the natural hormones as long as possible.

ls and Stu,
Godd quetions all. I'm not a doctor(nor do I play one on TV), but from everthing I've learned, it is not at all uncommon for one to contract HPV and NEVER show any signs or symptoms from it. Most women who have it, are not even remotely aware that they do.
My W confronted OM when she realized I was going to Dr. for confirmation, and he was not in any visible signs of HPV. He finally admitted to her(after lying), that he had it 5 years prior, but "had it taken care of." (DUH)!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
The actual transmission takes place from infected cells of the penile skin to the cervix or vulva of uninfected skin.
Stop me if this is getting too graphic, but it should be discussed more. LM and Stu might be able to help me out here.
From what I've learned, it's also possible that your body's own immune system may actually rid itself of this virus with no help at all. We are all different and that is possible, but not ususally the case.
So to answer your question, my wife's Om had no signs of HPV, but, nonetheless had virus anyway.
Hope this helps.
All Blessings,
Jerry

From what I've learned, it's also possible that your body's own immune system may actually rid itself of this virus with no help at all.

I suppose it can but there is no way to know that for sure...so when one has GW it is assumed one will always have GW.

Exactly right Stu,
This is why I insist my wife have a yearly pap smear. The only true way to tell is to have a DNA test of cervical cell which is very expensive and not usually covered by health insurance. Health insures feel yearly checkups will reveal anything life threatening, and they are comfortable with that.
I continue daily with only the best thoughts and hopes I can have. When my W had blood drawn from tech person, ( and LM will get a kick out of this), he told her not to bother getting tested for HIV, because this cost extra money, and all you really have to do is donate blood. They test for HIV and will let you know if you have it! Yikes.....
All Blessings,
Jerry

You know, my H said just a few moments ago, that the NP, said HPV could stay in the body for 20 years and not know it. I'm sure this is what he wants to believe happened to him. But the fact is is that he was with a prostitute 4 1/2 months ago.....duh. I think he really wants to believe he didn't get them from her. I told him, yes if he wasn't with the prostitute then, we could say it is possible it hung out in his body for so many years, but being with the prositute kind of rules that out. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

It also makes me angry that he tried to decieve me in telling me 3 weeks ago that he had a mole, and had to be seen by a Dermatologist, he didn't tell me he had about 6 GW on his genitals. I'm sure he had to know he had a disease on him, with that many. I didn't see or know (because he didn't tell me) about the rest of it until I took him to the Dr's offices, and seen them for myself.

I had to deal with the pain of his infidelity, and then he tries to decieve me with the STD stuff. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Lady

I was diagnosed with herpes when i was trying to get pregnant. My H claimed then and now that he did not wander. I know that I had had only protected sex before i met him, so my belief is that he gave them to me. I think that he believes that he is not infected because he has never had an outbreak, yet for the last 15 years he has had unprotected sex with me. Could it be possible for one to have herpes and not show symptoms and is it possible for him to never get it? BTW he never told the OW that he had them or could have the possibility of having it. I said so you omitted this to her....what do you think she omitted to you. I hear alot of the importance of testing...but the truth is that most people on this site have been having unprotected sex with their WS before they ever knew that there was betrayal. Therefore they could not avoid the exposure...yes there is a STRONG responsibility once you do know but most times it is then to late. Very sad.

Sorry LS,
What can I say. My W told me point blank that if I didn''t get STD, she would hav enever told me about her infidelity.
I feel sorta doubly betrayed if you know what i mean.
SHE WASN'T GOING TO TELL ME!
All Blessings,
Jerry

LT
The problem with herpes is that yes someone can have it and not know and then pass it on. Herpes can be transmitted when no outbreak is occuring from I have read. My spouse started thinking that he did not have herpes and maybe I had done the cheating. So we went and had what they call a western blot test done. Its a blood test that can be done that can tell you what type of herpes and if you have it. My spouse started turning it around on me and there was no way I was going with that one. He had no choice but to get tested.

However from what I have also understood from reading and someone please correct me if I am wrong but condoms are not 100% fool proof with this stuff either because if contact between the infected area which can be anywhere below not just on the penis but the perineum can carry the virus"as outbreaks can happen virtually anywhere" if you come into contact with that virus you can contract it. So condoms are not 100% guarantee with this stuff. Also it can lay dormant for many years from what I have been told. That's why my spouse swears he hasn't been with each other which means it took over 17 years for me to have an outbreak. Very frustrating and very sad and heartbreaking.

Losttiger,

That is quite weird, that you could have the virus for so many years, and your H has not contracted it with unprotected sex with you, or shown no signs of it.

When was your H with OW?

Lady

Yes...I feel the same way. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I told my H I'm not discussing this with him any longer.
I will go through the treatment process with him and talk to the Dr's only, and I will not accept his manipulations, of the whole thing.

Blessings to us Shinethrough.

Lady

jtdmine...is that how you found out your H had herpes with the western blot test?

Lady

HSV and HPV are difficult subjects because one cannot feel protected by using condoms, since the virus can easily reside in uncovered areas. It is quite common to see these lesions in the area over the pubic bone, just lateral to the labia or even further south. All are areas not covered by the condom. Hence it is easy for any WS to try to turn things around and try to redirect the blame...

Lady,

Yes that is how we found out. My spouse had some issues down below but docs always attributed it to something else. When I started getting that gut feeling about him I started looking at herpes. Didn't do anything at that time, stupid me.

We found out for sure when I had my first outbreak and I went in to be tested and discovered mine through swab test. I then informed my spouse and at first he was very sorry, then after awhile he started turning it around on me. So I knew that I have not been with anyone so I insisted that we both get that test. And yes that is the only way unless you are having an outbreak.

That is true Stu. I will never feel protected from my H if we ever have SF again. What do I do. If we are committed to saving this marriage, I will be taking a huge chance of getting the STD from him. Is it worth it? I can't believe I have to make a decision like that.

And it's possible that I may have contracted it and don't know it yet because his day with the prositute was in Aug, and I slipped with him once (without protection) in Nov.
while awaiting HIV result. So it's been 2 months since my exposure. I had no idea he had any lesions on him at the time, and of course he didn't tell me. So should I call that "sexual assault?" The lesions had to have been visible on Nov 1st, some are very grown out.

Lady

I see jtdmine, did you know about his affair before your breakout?

I wonder if Losttiger could have her H take the western blot test.

Lady