Now I could of just written your post. I know I will always love my H, he's just making it harder every day. I am also just going to be me and let him make a mess of his owm life. I will be fine. My kids are wonderful and support me all the way. I couldn't ask for better. I know what ever happens I will have a good life. If it comes down to it someday I will find someone else and then I may wonder what I fought so hard for. You never know what the future holds.

So very true ..... I agree with all of that .....

Our love for them will always be there maybe not as strong but I can't ever imagine not loving the man I have children with and I spent so many yrs with....

They will always have a piece of our hearts no matter how this turns out...

That is so true. I think it can only be true for them also. My H actually told his brother a couple of weeks ago that he loved me and always will. He sure has a funny way of showing it now doesn't he.

Yup , mine has said the same thing to his sister....

Well if ya love me then do the right thing ya idiots.....

I swear they have lost their minds .....

Good Morning All,

Just wanted to check in and say hellooo....

Gotta go get a new battery for my car, the old one died...

Guess I gotta learn to do this stuff on my own now...

Have no clue what I am suppose to look for but guess I will figure it out....

Have a great day everyone ....

What about the housing department?

Mimi,

They are checking into it .... Thats all I know .... I was being anoym.... so I guess I wiil find out in time if they do anything

Hurting-
I've been away from the computer for a few days and am just
getting caught up. I am so sorry to hear of your WH's recent
actions, but as with many here, I strongly agree that him
filing the papers was probably just an effort to appease the
OW, and if so, that must mean the LB's are "flying" from both sides ! (She is desperate, clingy and griping at him,
he is trying to escape it by doing the paperwork but must
also feel trapped and resentful of her pushing him).
Your plan to stay "dark", and continue on with the "high
road" as you've been doing sound like a great course of
action- !

Sounds like your Christmas was nice- it's so great that your
MIL, SIL, and kids are supportive and helpful. I had held
out a little hope WH would decide to spend some time with me but did make plans for activities with family and friends. I was at least hoping that WH would really think
of and miss our traditions, his family, etc. and would not
have a fun time spending it with OW.

As it ended up, there was a dramatic turn of events (will
update my thread or start a new one) so he did not have a
good holiday at all, and seems to have made a rapid exit
from the fog. I'm hopeful that it's a good thing for our
M, but it's too soon to get too hopeful.
(hugs)
Slammed

Slammed,

Thanks for checking in .... I hope his filing of the papers is just what we all think it is .... I just don't know anymore...

I am anxious to read your update.... I hope its a great thing for you ..


Hurting

Glad you made that call...

Hi Hurtin- I've been following along in your story since you first posted it and just wanted to share what worked for me. My WH insisted he wanted a divorce and OW urged him to pursue it. Every time he mentioned the D word to me I would calmly tell him "Don't take this too personally WH but I did not agree to have 3 children with you and be married 15 yrs together all to end up raising our children in a broken home and I"m against D for moral and spiritual reasons. Since that is the case if you insist on D then you can expect to have the longest drawn out D in Ohio history and I will contest everything along the way." I would then end the discussion right there. Soon after a few of these
'talks' my WH filed papers on me and had me served without giving me a heads up and I truly believed that it was over between us. But WH told me later after cancelling the D that OW had pressured him to do it and that my taking a strong continuous stance against it did affect him even though it made him mad in the short run.I say it isn't over till the fat lady sings! Take care.

me to Mimi ..... I just pray something comes of it ....

lifeismessy,

Thanks for the post, somehow i missed it before....

I really liked what you said to him, its brillant...

I am going to write it down and practice the words.... I may use them during the mediation thing..... Planb prohibits any other contact.... Thank Goodness ....

I am glad things turned around for you and recovery is happening.....


Thanks for the encouragment


Hurting

I hope it won't take long before you find out something about OW living arrangements.

Not very long ago I had to buy new tires for my SUV. That was something I had never done before. I called the person in town we always dealt with and told them what I needed. They told me they were 80.00 each or I could get a set of almost new take offs for 100.00 a set. That was a 220.00 dollar savings. I was told they had 25000 to 30000 miles left on them. I was a little worried about it but went ahead because I figured I would at least get 100.00 worth of use out of them. This was the best thing I ever did. They are pretty good tires and I saved alot of money. It sucks to have to do these things but you just have to ask around. Your doing great. Think of it as an adventure even though it is an unwanted adventure. Take care.

Why thank you .. I did do good ... I took the battery to the place and of course it was bad. So they looked on the c omputer for the warrenty info. which of course in under WH'S name. They could only find the new battery he bought around the beginning of Dec. .. turns out it was for a Buick guess who owns the buick???? You guessed it OW...

Anyhow my warrenty had expired so I had to buy a new one. They were going to put it under WH'S name I said nope put it in my name , we are seperated and I need my own thing. Now these people know WH and didn't know we were seperated, they know now and they now know why to ..lol
Oh well sucks to be him .....

Anyhow was an adventure and I was proud I did it on my own.... DS installed the battery and now the car starts whoohoooo..... Next adventure is oil changing ..... yuck

See WH I can do things by myself !!!!!!!!!!!!

I have often wondered if I was more needy would this ever have happened. I am pretty independent and can do most things for myself although it would be nice to have someone to do things for me. I did everything around here and basically H didn't do much. He went out and worked and that is about it. I took care of the house and the yardwork. I'm sure OW will jump right in and take care of everything now. NOT. I think he got wrapped up in her idolizing him and thinking he was king. Lord who has time for that in the real world. You never know what your really capable of until you are the only one you can depend on. Stay strong and we will come out the winners.

hurtin, did you know that most auto parts stores will install stuff like that for free? I had to put a new battery on my Jeep this summer and I had them install it. They do it for free at places like Auto Zone, O'Reilly's. And you can get your wheels rotated and balanced for free at Discount Tires.

I didn't know that Mel, thanks for the info.....

I went to O'Reilly's but I couldn't drive the car it was tottally dead and wouldn't even jump. So borrowed MIL van to take it..... One good thing WH did teach the boys how to do some maintance on the cars. So DS knew how to change the battery out. Now as far as the oil change I may ask my BIL to do it.....

I need my tires done as well but thank goodness the Goodyear store will do it for free since I bought them there....

Good for you hurting !
You have accomplished SO many things- like losing weight,
coloring your hair, home improvements, handling holidays,
the fire, your kids situations, and now vehicle maintenance
too ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
I have been able to handle quite a few things by myself
also, but am lucky in that my Dad (who has been a general
contrator, plumbing specialist, woodworker) lives nearby
and has been available to help when I've needed it.
Over the weekend he helped me set mousetraps in the garage !

I really hope OW will continue to push and nag at your WH
because he's going to get really sick of it, especially
since it sounds like she's been at it for awhile (the
supposed mystery phone call, rumors, etc.) - I think that
really shows that she is getting desperate, and that will
certainly lead to LB behaviors on her part (and his too).
That and the reality of $$$$ that WH is going to have to
spend for a D should really knock him into some reality
check.

Thanks for your support and thoughts on my post- it's been
very interesting to see how things could change in just a
week, and feels a little hopeful, but lots of big IFS, and
ups and down to go, I'm sure. Will update again on the
new post.

Hope your weekend is good and HAPPY NEW YEAR !
(if you're like me, your'e very glad to see 2005 go !)
Slammed

Ok now I am pissed.

WH was suppose to come get DS today. He called DD and said he was to tired to come. He claims he got in last night at 8 pm and didn't sleep well because the kitten he has kept him awake all night.... Sure it did....

Now this is the same man who last week blamed me for not seeing his kids enough ...... What the heck is wrong with him???? He has the time and opportunity and blows it off ....
If he didn't sleep well sure isn't because o some cat, more like his guilt or OW wanting to do something and of course thats more important....

Payback gonna be a bi*ch for him one day thats for sure....

Ok done now ...