Sheesh - All the WS's are dropping out of seeing their kids today. Could it be because it's New Years Eve??????????????

Thats must be it believer...... Of course it will be my fault again within a few days.....

As DD and are driving and she is talking to him so of course I hear her end of the convo. , he is asking her so what are you and your mom doing? She says we are going to the store..... He just makes me so mad..... He has yet to tell anyone he filed the divorce papers, he is keeping it to himself he has not mentioned it it all ......


Oh remeinds me DD bought me a late xmas and bd present today .... She got me two cd's .... Toby Keiths Honkeytonk U and Bo Bice The Real thing..... I love American Idol and it starts again soon..... So that made me happy ....

You all wanna hear something funny ???

DD was telling me WH got himself a kitten who supposedly kept him awake all night so he couldn't see DS.

But anyway the funny thing is he named this kitten the same name as our female dog , that he loves so much.... He wants this dog but I won't let him have her, he walked out on them to.... So I guess his way to replace her is getting a kitten and using the same name....

I find it funny ......

That is pretty funny.

It always amazes me their thought processes. Some of the things they come up with.

Maybe he is longing for home.

I can only wish Newly..... And its not like its a common name for pets you know like Spot or Rover ..... Its a very feminame(sp?) for a dog or cat.....

Me thinks he is longing for something ....

DS is home from the BD party and said WH showed up right after I left and dropped off nephews present. Glad I missed him , but I did see him coming down the road... Anyhow DS is upset because WH didn't make any plans to see him this weekend, kinda blew him off after all that moaning last week about not seeing his kids enough. Anyhow I am going to do something tomorrow with DS since I will be off work.

WH is really not doing well I don't think.... naming pets after the pets we already have, blowing off DS, asking questions again ...... Hope he is miserable......

Oh you know he is. Why do you think he can't sleep? I can't sleep either when something is bothering me. It runs over and over in my head.

From what you say about his family, this boy was raised right. He knows in his heart what a disappointment he is to his mother. His sister supports you. And his children, that's got to eat him alive. For those of us that know Him, God doesn't let us wallow in sin and be happy for long. And for those who don't, He'll use the nightmare to draw them to Him.

And the kicker, he's asking what you and DD are doing. If he truly meant for this to be the end why would he care? He wouldn't.

If he were happy, he would be sleeping like a baby and he wouldn't be concerned about your comings and goings.

And that anger..you know he has projected his own anger onto you. Been there bought the t-shirt.

It's funny how the behaviour of the WS can even project to our pets. WS did the same thing to our dog. We raised this dog *TOGETHER* since she was 8 weeks old, even before we got married. My dog is not past 14 yo and half blind in one eye.

In the throes of his A, WS ignored this beloved dog of ours and refused to touch her.

Well, my dog ignored him too.

You take care, hurting.

~A

JPH,

I know your right, I don't buy the not sleeping story because of a cat. Heck we had our dogs sleep with us while he was home and it never bothered him....

Yeah, he is always asking the kids about me ....

I know his anger is being used against me because he can't handle dealing with himself.

I sure wish the heck he would just get it together, I was talking to my mom tonight telling her about the cat thing and blowing off the kids... She said BS this is definatley not the WH I have known for 24 yrs. he has got something wrong with his head, do you think its drugs??? I had to laugh and told her no mom its not drugs... He gets tested way to much for his job. Its just that he has gone stupid for awhile....

She is worried now that since i have started to pull away f rom him and act happy around people I know that he will think I don't care anymore and think I can do without him... I told her Mom he knows I love him and want him home but he has to also see that I am not sitting around here mopeing and crying all the time..... Getting out and doing things shows him I can do it by myself .. she is just worried that the 180 will backfire on me .... I told her if it does at least I will be happy .....

Well time to get ready for work .... Everyone have a safe New Years .....

Ashley,

As far as the dogs go when ever he gets the chance to see them he does.... When he picks up DS sometimes DS will take them out to see him or he see's them in the backyard.... He misses them a lot.... They miss him to ...

Good for you Hurting. Show him that you have a rich full life and that you haven't been reduced to a pile on the floor because he left.

He'll wonder what things you're up to and he'll wonder if some man will see what a wonderful person you are and snatch you up!

I'm proud of you for doing such a good job!

One more thing we have in common. If my MIL has asked me once she has asked me a thousand time if my H is on drugs. I always say no it's not drugs. She thinks that could be the only explanation for his drastic change in behaviour.

Keep up the good work. I know however this ends you will be fine. We all will. We may not think so at times but God will take care of us.

Take care and Happy New Year.

Yes, Newly your right God will take care of us ......


HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!!

Well looks like we all survived the New Year......

It was easier than I expected it to be. I was sad though the memories of 24 previous New Years eve's came to mind. First New Years in that many years I didn't have a kiss or hug from the person I love the most. I held up good though didn't break or cry until I went to bed.

WH didn't call the kids or wish them happy new year at all. Just the thought he is with the homewrecker for the start of a new year makes me sick to my stomach.

One thing is for sure this year will be better than 2005. It darn sure can't be any worse..... I keep telling myself come on pick your [censored] up wipe it off and move ahead.... I am getting there a little more each day....

Ok done feeling sorry for myself ....Happy New Year everyone ..

Happy New Year Hurting -

It is so tough I am sure to look back on the past 24 years and not have your H there with you to start another year - I had only been with my H for 13 years so I can't imagine the feelings you must be going through.

It's funny - for me I feel like my H has not been here for a while anyway. Different reasons - him not taking a leadership role in the family, not being a good provider, working the job he has with a young child to take care of. So, ringing in the New Year was not so tough for me.

Sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me b/c I don't seem to be missing my H as much as many of you here. I am so good at denial that maybe I have put up a huge wall to protect myself...

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you & that I am sure this year is going to be better.

Take Care!

Kim

Happy New Year KIm..

I am sure this year will be better, it has to be no place to go but up.

I wish in a way I was like you and had that wall around me so I wouldn't be missing my H so much.

I do pretty good most of the time , I think it was just the memories of holidays past that got to me in this last week or so... With my birthday, Christmas and New years all within one week it really triggered a lot of things....

I will be taking down the christmas stuff on tuesday when I am off work... Getting the house back to normal will help a lot in getting over this bad part.

I started a sketch today of my grandsons. It will be in pencil with a few pastels thrown in to give a little color. I hope it turns out well. If it does I will have some copies made to give to my son and dil.... I will keep the orginal though... To bad WH won't get one but I will make sure he knows about it ... lol

Anyhow have a great day ......

Hurting

That sounds nice! I hope it turns out for you ---- Will be a wonderful gift.


I'm taking my stuff down today - DS is with WH. I miss him when he's gone, but it's good to some things done. It's tough being a single mom.

Kim

Yup Kim it is tough being a single mom... And with mine being teens it just makes it so hard. They don't have the father around to help with all of the teen things...

DS is taking this so hard but trying to act like it dosn't. He was so upset his dad blew him off this weekend he called him a bad name.... I was shocked by his reaction....

I just can't imagine what its going to take for WH to realize the tramua he has caused his children. I don't know if their relationships can ever be the same again.

We will get through this and like I told DS we can be happy and make life good.... It won't be like this forever even though some days it feels it.....

Hi Hurting, this is so sad. I think the devotional I read today may apply to your WH some....
Paul was determined that nothing would stop him from doing exactly what God wanted. But before we choose to follow God’s will, a crisis must develop in our lives. This happens because we tend to be unresponsive to God’s gentler nudges. He brings us to the place where He asks us to be our utmost for Him and we begin to debate. He then providentially produces a crisis where we have to decide— for or against. That moment becomes a great crossroads in our lives. If a crisis has come to you on any front, surrender your will to Jesus absolutely and irrevocably.


I think could appy to Slammed's H too. It actually could apply to many.

I hope the very Best New Year for you Hurting.

Lady

Went to MIL'S to eat dinner. She said WH called her today to say Happy New Year.

She was telling him she hoped this year would be better after all the crap he has pulled. He told her don't even go there, you don't know what went on behind closed doors. He is still making out like we had the worst marriage ever. Still justifying it all.

She told him to think of his children and how they feel. She said the kids don't say anything to you because they are afraid of losing you. he said I have done nothing wrong and the kids will be ok....

He is no closer to admitting he has done anything wrong that he was from day one.... He still believes what he is doing is justified and right. Almost 7 months and no closer to admitting any mistakes at all....

I think this man is a lost cause and I might as well accept that and move on and forget him.... He just flat does not care.....

Ok Hurting....

You're doing great girl.\

Now your WH is FOGGED OUT...do not believe ANYTHING THE FOOL SAYS RIGHT NOW...

Give them TIME TO LB AGAIN...IT WILL HAPPEN I ASSURE YOU!

Just trust in time. They are trying to cocoon up after her made up "phone call" scheme. He was beginning to leave fog...she saw him wanting his family...she started trouble and now he's "defending territory" b/c the ow feels threatened.

Yea, do NOT get your feelings hurt right now!

In fact, please start doing something different to take mind off of it!

Find a book club. You can go to local library to find them. Many are found online too! But it's best to go out to a place...getting out of house helps.

Keep walking and working on YOU! And ask your attny to ask for MONEY FOR COLLEGE TUITION FOR BOTH YOU AND THE KIDS! Yea! Time to reinvent yourself.

Just preoccupy your time until they freak out again...which WILL HAPPEN...

Please do not lose faith yet. Not yet. There is still a family here...it was LESS THAN A MONTH HE WAS WAFFLING.

I say you do something different. Get the home highlight/lowlight kit and get some. Just a different look. Maybe a different color? BECOME ANOTHER WOMAN! Yea,, try it!

Try to experiment with different types of makeup too. Different colors.

You will be surprised what happens when you get busy!

I started Ediets today. Went to store just a while ago on way back from hospital. Am psyched about it! I am not big mind you...just want to be HOT! And I can do it. Want to go from snug size six to two again! I am petite to begin with so it will be a huge difference.

This new year, PLAN A YOURSELF...LET'S DO IT!

Your WH will wake up honey. Like I say all along...what is important is is it WITHIN THE TIME FRAME THAT IS ACCEPTABLE TO YOU...YOU...YOU!

(((Hurting)))

I know how tired you are, it is very draining. For me, I am just trying to break it down piece at a time. Right now, I am trying not to freak about about our first court appearance on Wednesday. Get my objectives straight, get it over with, then I can decide what next best move is.

I am getting more comfortable with the idea of divorcing WH. I miss the illusion of my H, I miss who I thought he was, or who he really used to be. But he has chosen this path and I need off the bus.

The fact that your WH says he has done nothing wrong - wow! At least my WH can throw my A back up in my face as in "I am not doing anything you haven't done". But for your WH to just say his A is not wrong, that is pretty wild.

I am sorry Hurting, I think with the court stuff, we are both going to see some worse before we see any better. I do think for you there is better to be had from your WH, he just isn't there yet.