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OH OH- I forgot to mention-- I personally would NOT wear anything my WH gave me to any meeting. I'd have all new bling.
Keep your wedding rings on....but be wicked and HIDE your left hand through the entire meeting and any unexpected meeting after that. Have fun seeing if he is trying to see if you are still wearing them.
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Mojo,
You may be right, all new bling would make him wonder wouldn' it....
I can try and hide my left hand maybe a little tough though seeing how i am left handed...lol
I feel so refreshed and new ..... I have a plan for me and I love it......
Things are looking up ....
Hello 2006 , the year I become me again !!!!!!!!!
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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you sound like you are in a wonderful place oklahoma
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I feel like I am Eav. I can;t sit around here anymore feeling sorry for myself, I have to live and be happy.
I pray for you Eav that you get to that point soon... It does not mean you give up on your H, you just have to live for you right now. Not saying it will be easy and not saying there won't be days of sadness but they will become less and less..... Be happy Eav fake till you make it.....
Last edited by hurtinginokla; 01/02/06 05:23 PM.
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 3,609
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Had a vwer productive day .... Got some house cleaned up , put the new stuff in my bedroom , looks nice and its my favorite color purple....
Put on some music and sang and danced with DD first time in months I have done that. Even heard some songs that I couldn't listen to just a few wees ago and I didn' cry...
So what does all this mean??? Am I finally moving on and not caring anymore? Or is my mind and heart just in sync?
Kinda scary feeling so good, forgot what it feels like.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Don't feel guilty but it is a feeling you haven't allowed yourself to feel in a long time. It belongs to you and you deserve to feel happy about yourself. It's ok to laugh....your face won't break. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> L.
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LOL Orchid it might break been a long time since it smiled a real smile...
Still have that little hole in my heart though and that nagging little voice in my head that says think about it and fix it....
Really doing a pretty good job though at ignoring them....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Hi Hurting,
Wow!!! you are an inspiration!!! My husband and I are still together after his affair ended 16 months ago, but you make me feel like if it did all end, my life would still go on. I am sure your WH will be extremely jealous of your freedom and new life when he finds out, I am still happily married and I am jealous!!!
Good luck to you and have fun!!!
Reewil.
Me 39 WH 40
Married 21 years
2 daughters 18 & 21
Affair began Sept 2003
Affair ended Aug 2004 (found out about affair continuing 3 times in this period).
In recovery, doing well (most of the time).
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reewill,
Thank you for the nice compliment. Life will go on thats for sure. May not be the one I want but it will be happy again.
I still have hope and lots of it that my WH will become a H again someday. But in the meantime I still have to live and take care of my children and myself. I do miss him terriably and want him home but I know its not my choice.
Its hard getting to use to freedom after so many years of being with someone, and some days its good and others it just plain sucks. But in my heart of hearts I would prefer the marriage any day.
Good luck with your recvery and I hope you continue to have a wondeful marriage....
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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I haven't been on much in the last few days but, it seems you have gotten to a really good place. You are an inspiration to me. I have been down for the last few days and today I'm feeling better.
It really does feel good to do things just for you and if our Hs don't come around it's their loss. Keep up the good work.
Me: BS 43
WH: 42 major mid-life crisis
OW: 22
M 25 yrs
DD 24
DS 19
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Newly,
I appreciate your kind words. I don't see myself as an inspiration to anyone. I am just a woman who's life has been ripped apart like so many of us here trying to make sense of the craziness.
Trying to make a life worth living for myself and my children. I am still a long ways away from achieving that but getting there a little each day.
I just came from my IC and she said I am like the man who see's the bridge out up ahead and stands in the road trying to warn people , some ignor the warning and fall into the river and drown. I am warning my H of the danger but he is ignoring it and I am just going to have to let him fall into the river. Like she said no matter how hard I have tried to save him the warnings go unheeded so I have got to stop and let him fall.
In the meantime I have got to move ahead and work on being happy without him. It sure is hard to do but I am determined to do it.
Tomorrow is the meeting with my attorney to prepare for this mediation thing. I am nervous about this whole thing. I am still unsure what to do. Fight him every step of the way or just let go..... I won't walk away without what I need but is fighting it worth it to me in the end, I just don't know....
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Ok tomorrow I meet with my attorney to prepare for mediation.
This is the list I have made please look it over and see if I missed anything I need to ask for:
1: 1/2 of 401K
2: Custody of DS with CS continuing until graduation from high school ( DS will turn 19 senior year)
3: Life insurance policy with me as owner to insure CS and Alimony if something should happen to WH
4: Alimony
5: Car signed over to me
6: College money for DS and myself ( to get a better job)
7: No overnight visits with DS as long as with OW living in sin
8: Half the value of the car he just bought with marital money (he will have 2 vehciles compared to my one)
Is there anything else I need to add? I just don't know what all I am entitled to
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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... I have no idea ... I've never had to do this
BUT
I think it might be wise to put in a couple of pie-in-the-sky requests ... so that during the proceeding, you can "let go" of a few things (things you never expected to actually get anyway)
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I can't imagine what that would be pep but maybe I can think of something....
I already know he won't agree to all of this ... But I am not backing down these are the things he at least owes me for 24 yrs of marriage were I have stood beside him , loved him and was faithful.....
Last edited by hurtinginokla; 01/03/06 05:50 PM.
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 380
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Hey Hurting,
I think we are in the same boat, but a friend told me to go for more than I want so that way there would be room to negotiate. Ex: $1000/month spousal when you really can live with $750. Or spousal support for 10 years when you can live with 3-5 yrs. Something like that. I think that is what Pep meant also.
Me-BxW-(36)
Him-WxH-(36)
Married 9 days short of 12 years b/f D was final
5 kids-10 and younger (3 DD & 2 DS)
WH filed for D 11/05
D final 05/06
***Of course you would DIE for your kids, the question is will you LIVE for them***
***Time heals nothing but faith heals everything***
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Lashell,
Ok thanks that sounds like a good plan... Go for it all and this way I have room to move.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 61
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Hi Hurting, You may not think you are an inspiration to anyone, BUT YOU ARE!!! I too had been feeling down for days but when I read your posts yesterday it lifted me so high I feel like I could touch the sky (corny eh?, but that's I feel). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I am feeling wonderful at the moment and I owe it to you!!! Reewil xoxox. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> [color:"blue"] [/color]
Last edited by reewil; 01/03/06 07:00 PM.
Me 39 WH 40
Married 21 years
2 daughters 18 & 21
Affair began Sept 2003
Affair ended Aug 2004 (found out about affair continuing 3 times in this period).
In recovery, doing well (most of the time).
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Exactly, I'm doing the same thing.
Me-BxW-(36)
Him-WxH-(36)
Married 9 days short of 12 years b/f D was final
5 kids-10 and younger (3 DD & 2 DS)
WH filed for D 11/05
D final 05/06
***Of course you would DIE for your kids, the question is will you LIVE for them***
***Time heals nothing but faith heals everything***
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What about medical stuff, are you covered on WH's policy??
Will DS need braces?
Will you file jointly or seperately on taxes this year?
Will WH or you get the tax deduction for kids.
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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Lashell,
Ok thanks that sounds like a good plan... Go for it all and this way I have room to move..... [b] egg zak lee like pricing items for a garage sale ... price waaaay above what you want so there is room to "come down" without really losing anythng of value
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