Pep's wisdom is PURE GOLD.....

She is RIGHT ON regarding the relationship between my FWH and FOW..who by the way was the victim of repeated incest....

WOW....

Ok so much to say....

First off as I w as leaving the house, looking good and sexy WH and the bimbo drove up. I proceeded to my car without acknowledging them. WH pulled up so I could back out.

So I go to my friends house and her husband c hanged my oil. As her and I were talking and she knows WH pretty well as we have been friends for years. Anyhow she says to me I know he still loves you just messed uo in his head right now. Anyhow she said something that struck me She said when the OW thinks she has won (ex. divorce done) thats when things will probably fall apart, because she will let her guard down and become herself. Now in a way this makes sense to me because she will think I am out of the picture for sure.

Ok now back to DD.... When DD got in the car with WH and the bimbo he asked her if she had pissed me off because I took off so fast. She said no mom is on her way to her "friends" so he can change the oli in the car. DD said he didn't say a word but he looked at her threw the rearview mirror and the look on his face was not a happy one. So while they were eating she called me on my cell and I was telling her I would not be home for dinner. All she said was Well mom I guess I will see then whenever you get home...

So when I get home she tells me she called her dad to find out if he liked her b/f. He said he did and then next thing out of his mouth was " So how long has your mom been seeing this guy?" DD told him look dad its only a friend and thats it. So now WH thinks I have a male friend I am dating which is not true .... She never said to him that I was with some friends of ours. I didn't ask her to make him think I was doing anything wrong he has now in his own fogged out brain thinks I am dating.... It bothers me that he may think the wrong thing but nothing I can do about it...

But I was very proud of myself by walking to my car and just leaving . I knew running back in the house would have looked bad and like I was hiding so I just played it out. I never even looked his way..... I was shaking so bad as I drove off.... One thing for sure the OW saw me as well... Thank goodness his windows are tinted because I couldn't see them at all....

I was looking good and walking with my head held high.....

So please no 2x4 for not turning and going the other way.... I know planb but no interaction happened at all... I for sure was not going to chit chat with them ....


Orchid as far as DD and the lunch dinner thing, it was her idea because she wanted her dad to meet her b/f. And she paid for it not WH...... If your talking about the kids knowing the divorce could be next week they know.... I told them both DS did not take it well and does not want to see his dad right now... He called him a SOB again... I told him that was uncalled for and he is still his dad. I decided hiding it and then telling them when it was over was not right.

Sounds good Hurting! I am sure that OW is thrilled with your WH's interest in your social life <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Again, it's just so obvious...that he still cares and this won't last...

It's probably GOOD that he thinks you are dating and the OW heard his concern...

Mimi,

I don;t know if she heard his concern or not. I know she heard him ask about DD making me mad, and DD telling him about my friend. Now I seriously doubt she heard the phone call him asking about it all.

I will tell you one thing though the bimbo saw me and she saw how good I looked with the weight loss and all....

Another thing I just camr from MIL and SIL w as telling her about a conversation she had with WH. Seems OW was the one who bought DS'S mp3 player for christmas because WH was on the road. Anyhow WH told his sister the one he talks to that OW is now complaining and making him pay her the money back. SIL says he was not very happy about it and was complainin about her bugging him about it. SIL told my MIL I am telling you now WH is not happy I could just tell by the way he was talking.....


You know I still believe this divorce may go through but I do feel as though this affair is standing on its last leg... It all depends now on how long is it gonna take for the leg to break..... Can I wait this out, I sure hope so ......

The Harleys say 18 months in PLAN B..2 years before the end of an A.

That's why your divorce laws are so awful.

I'm sure wondering what Steve will say.

I don't understand pur divorce lawas either Mimi but I tell you one thing I can't wait until I have that appointment with Steve on Tuesday....

I am pretty sure this divorce is going to happen, maybe not Wed. because of the mediation and not agreeing but I am sure at some point in time not in the distant future it will happen...

I hope Steve has something good to say..... even if its reconciliation after divorce ... I hope he still see's a chance for us...

I see a tool in here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Let your kids know that their dad will buy them whatever they want, while at it give them a list of things you need for the house. Tell them that the OW is willing to pay to have him and so if he is going to give up his family, you al l might as well go get something instead of just a D. If the OW is gonna get your WS, she might as well pay through the nose for it.

Sounds mean?!?! Hm... not really, right now the WS is a giggolo to that OW and she is selfish so while she spends $$, her greedy self will eventually want it back and therein lies the LB from afar. Takes a lot of imagination but there are things you can do. Have you established your family's monetary worth from your H's standpoint? If not, have your children and SIL go ask him how much in $$ is his family worth, then ask for that much. I did it. Dumb OW didn't have enough $$....the big talkin' azz. LOL!!!!

L.

Orchid,

I have to say thatss brillant but I know my kids won't ask for anything. They haven't yet.

Of course I guess I could have DS start asking him for things since he can't seem to pay his CS on time.....

You know this moeny thing i sgoing to be his downfall I believe. He can't pay his CS and SS , he can't afford to pay OW back , his paycheck got screwed up(that I don't believe) what the heck is he doing with his money????? Oh I know he is buying stupid bumper stickers for her car .... My Heart belongs to a trucker .... what a freaking laugh....
Buying her cigerretes something he always complained about for me... Not the money aspect but the health aspect for me... Thats all I ever heard from him stop smoking I don't want to lose you ..... OW wants em he gets em nothing said....

I am going to think on this and figure a way out to use this without causeing problems..... Funny though how is wanting to borrow money from DD to pay car insurance and a stereo..... Me thinks OW will soon realize he is not Mr. Moneybags and is very bad at hadleing finances... WH wants what he wants when he wants it and says pay the bill next week. Thats why I always handled the money .....

It will be fangs and nails in the den of the damned tonight. I wish I could be a fly on the wall there tonight
Believe it or not the little love nest is crashing faster than you think your marriage is.
He is lost and doesn't know what to do. She is showing him the person she will become. And just maybe he will know what to do. Why do you think she is always with him, huh? She is insecure about them when it comes to you and rightly so. I wish we could all go over there, cook up some popcorn and watch the cheap b movie it has become. I know, Mel or Pep can hold up cue cards and we can all snicker, Oh and Ah at the same time.
I'm sure Steve will let you know what to do to allow him the courage to ask to come home. That may be all that is left of this. Don't give up hope yet. Remember, it is not over til the fat lady does the paperwork. Something like that.
You are in my prayers as always. Chin up!

Hurting -

Yep, sounds like things are crashing more & more. You did great today!!! I am so proud of you!! Your WH is jealous!

Kim

BKarl,

Your post made my night. I have to say I agree the love nest is loosing its fun but Istill think they are going to try and hold on yet for a bit.

He has gone so far now I don't think he will back out now. I could be wrong but I don't see it.....

I don't know about the fangs and nails though, maybe she won't say anything who knows. I mean WH didn't really say much in front of her... DD say the look on his face and her and her b/f were laughing as they told me about it. She said it was not the look of a happy man.

Now lets think about this for a minute. He could be asking about me seeing someone because if I am it could relief his guilt thinking I am moving on. I mean lets be honest this also could be it.... But I thik back to just last month when he called his mom and sister both questioning this and not happy about it. And of course he asked DD as well and then myself.

So things are happening this I know but what is happening we really don't know... Is it crashing or is it getting better because they think I am moving on w ith someone else? Hard to say ....

Kim,

I don't know if he is jealous or just wondering ....

Jealous woould be nice but I can't get my hopes up thats it..

But you know even if he is that does not mean he wants to be with me..... I can not allow myself to get excited over this, because its really nothing in the grand scheme of things.

All I can do is just keep moving on and hope someday he catches up.....


Hurting

Sounded more like a look of loss an impending doom to me.

I want you to understand some things about men. We are proud. Plain and simple. And nothing causes us more doubt than the relinquishment of that pride.
We will not accept defeat. Most of us anyway! We are not wrong and we do not make mistakes. And God forbid someone calls us out on it. No matter what we have done. At times we will sacrifice everything to keep our pride.
At what price shall we swallow our pride and admit defeat. That is where we differ as men individually.
And by defeat I mean giving up something we believed was right. Remember we are never wrong.
When I served in the military I was Damn proud of what I was doing. What I was doing was right and I would have died to serve and protect this great country of ours. God forbid some hate America first moron would have ever challenged that pride. That would have been a total affront to what I believed in.
Unfortunately, hurting, we demonstrate that pride in everyday life. We do not want to admit defeat in anything we do whether it is right or wrong.
When we can find the way to change ouselves in that respect or someone show us it is not an affront to what we believe, whether right or wrong, it will not be an affront to our pride.
I hope you understand what I am saying. Because you do not want me going all night about this.

My pryers to you!

BKarl,

I think I understand what your saying.

if he can find a way to come back without his pride being hurt or injured and not hear I told you so's , then its easier for him.

Is this what you are trying to say? I'm not real sure.

I have said all along his pride would stand in his way of admitting he has done any wrong. He would rather suffer than admit it. I had hoped I was wrong, but maybe not.

So the thing is to try and figure a way out without his pride being broken. I just don't see how that can be done.

I hope this is what you are trying to say to me....

I have a question maybe it sounds crazy but I want to know what some of you think.

When I was at my friends yesterday and her and I were talking about Wed. and myabe this divorce happening, I was mentioning something about how hard it will be for me to take off my wedding rings. She said well don't take them off if you don't want to.

I told her it would be silly to were them when I would no longer be married. She said to me BS just because some judge says your not married and signs a piece of paper means nothing, its what you feel inside. In your heart you still feel married ,you take them off when you feel its right.

So I guess my question is do I have to take them off that day? Or can I wait until I feel the right time? I can't imagine taking them off, I have worn these rings for 24 yrs. it woould be so hard to take them off. I thought about putting them on a chain and wearing them around my neck.

I know some of you will think I am crazy and just can't let go but I am not ready yet and have to do this in my own time. I just don't know what to do if this happens...

That is edzacarry what I am saying. You need to ask SH about this when you talk to him. Pride comes with a high cost. You need to ask SH how to lower the cost.
And the rings. You are not crazy and you take them off when you are good and ready. You do not need anyones permission and you certainly don't need to explain it to anyone.

BKarl,

Thank you, I am so glad I understood what you were saying...

I definatley will ask Steve about this .....

I am glad I am not crazy about the rings then.... I was worried people would think I was nuts if I still continue to wear them.....

I will take them off in time I am sure but not until I am ready...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

purrrrrrrfect !!!

Here's a way to make a love bank deposit from afar .... AND improve your health and your wallet simultaneously

stop smoking

a least give it the old college try

cut back by half for 2 weeks, then go cold turkey using the patch

PRETTY PLEASE