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I am glad I am not crazy about the rings then.... I was worried people would think I was nuts if I still continue to wear them.....I will take them off in time I am sure but not until I am ready... You are not crazy about the rings. It is your life, your feelings, and your emotions. Do what you want and tough nuggies to the rest of the world. Start making yourself happy and the heck with what everybody else thinks YOU should do and say, etc. You come first now.
Me/BS 48 Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05 WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05 WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06 12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture) 2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late. WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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Hurting,
I hope you have a great day. I just thought of something that may brighten up your day, I am trying to look at the bright side of stuff today.
It sounds like OW and WH will crash and burn sooner rather than later. Your WH will want to come home, and you may let him after much wooing and proving to you that WH is gone forever. Then, you can remarry. If you play this right, you can have a bridal shower and get all fresh towels and pots and pans and stuff!
I still have the same shower curtain from my bridal shower 14 years ago - I would love another wedding shower!
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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JEAN,
I am hoping for the crash and burn but I am not getting my hpoes up to high.
Things don't sound to great in fantasy land but we really don't know. It could be he was angry about her request for the money back but hey he may just get over it and give it to her and continue on.
When all you get is is bits and pieces of things its hard to say what is really happening.
I am anxiously waiting for my appt. with SH tomorrow and get his take on things. I am preparing myself for the worst with this appt. and hoping for the best.
Wed. is only 2 days away and my stomache is in knots over this. Will I be divorced or not has me just going around in circles.
I know I won't be if we don't come to an agreement which of course I can not accept anything if I don't want to but I keep thinking what if he agrees to all I want then I have nothing to disagree about.
I won't lie I want this to drag out for just a little bit longer but that may not happen....
I know if we don't agree its going to cause him to be angry at me which in turn will send him back to OW in a not very good mood.
Anyhow all I can do for now is take it a day at a time and see what happens....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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You know i have been reading through a few peoples threads today and as happy as I am for those who it looks like the WS'S is ready to make the marriage work , I am also very sad.
Why can't my WS'S be one of those? Why is he so damned determined to ruin our family? All for nothing .....
All of you who are in reocvery or very close to it I am so happy for you yet very envious as well.....
I pray that all goes well and you all have the marriages that you want and deserve.
Just having a little pity party I guess ..... Ok back to regular programing.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Hurting.... I have been catching up on your story here....
Not being around for some time gave me a chance to see how strong you have become <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />. Boy, I admire you! You have come a long way and you are doing great! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Know that I am always here reading your story and rooting for you!
Daisy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
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Thanks Daisy for the support. I don't know how much stronger I am but I am dealing somewhat better... Of course who knows how i will be after Wed.
I have been wondering about you. I hope you are doing good.
Get us updated on you ......... Hope you had a good holiday and here is to this NEW YEAR being better than the last....
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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You are doing great hurting! Just a reminder for your appt w/ SH.
Jot down a time line of events...He doesn't need a ton of detail just an overall summary...He will talk you through what he needs but time is money and I know you don't want to waste it. Keep paper and pencil handy when you speak with him...so you can take notes and he may give you something to say to WH word for word.
SH is really easy to talk to and he is not a clock watcher which is nice. I hope you have a good session with him... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
aka-confused42 BS-45 me WH-42 DS-14 & DD-12 together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs "I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04 D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06 5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06 Recovery finally began Jan 2007 We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Confused,
Thanks for the advice. I am going to take notes and I hope and pray he has something I can use to help this situation.
I sure wish I could have afforded this before this divorce thing happened though. it may just be to late... But I need some professonial advice for sure... Not that everyone here has not helped me but I guess I just need to hear what a pro says. Maybe it can help me figure out which direction I am going in.
I am looking forward to this session for sure.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Ok so my appt. is with SH tomorrow at 1:30 ....
Does anyone have any advice or anything I need to know for this appt.
I am praying this goes well and he can give me something to use...
I sure wish I could have done this months ago ...
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Good luck!
My prayers to you!
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Hurting, Be sure to write down everything that you want to tell SH and any questions for him. Make little notes to yourself so that you won't forget. He is VERY easy to talk to. It will go great for you.
I am agreeing with Jean about being able to remarry after this is all over with. And, it will be all over with WH and OW very soon. So, if you do end up divorcing before they break up (which they WILL) he can court you slowly and make amends and y'all can remarry - a brand new marriage. I think that would be a very good start. Just my humble opinion here, you know I am no expert.
It will work out for you Hurting. We all know this.
Best regards - car
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Carnation you have no idea how much I hope you and Jean are right.
If I knew that is what would happen I could get through this so much easier.
I still have the fears though that may never happen.
I keep praying for him to get it... and do whats right....
Thanks for the encouragement and support.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Ok just has very unhappy conversation with my mother....
I know she means well and loves me very much, I do but she just does not understand why I won't give up on WH.
She keeps saying you need to forget him and move on....
How can you want him back after all of this????
I tried to explain to her that I have to do this my way and if later on down the road I don't want him back I will know it....
She says if later on down the road he wants to come back so be it but in the meantime forget about him..... Easier said than done for sure...
What my mom does not get is that I have had the longest marriage in our family except for my grandparents(her parents) All my siblings have divorced at least once , my mom 3 times..... longest any of them were married was 15 yrs... that was my mom and dad.....
I am tired of being told to forget him and he is no good.... They just don't understand and I try to explain all of this and they won't listen.... Why can't they just let me do this my own way and in my own time......
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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3 old men are out on the golf course one day. The first guy turns to the second and says" Boy it is windy today" The second man says" Wednesday, I thought it was Thursday?" The third guy says "Thirsty?, me too. Lets go to the clubhouse and get a beer.
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3 old men are out on the golf course one day. The first guy turns to the second and says" Boy it is windy today" The second man says" Wednesday, I thought it was Thursday?" The third guy says "Thirsty?, me too. Lets go to the clubhouse and get a beer. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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Thamks BKarl I needed a good laugh...
I need all the laughs I can get for the next few days....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Hurting, can you get to Radio Shack before your session with Steve, and pick up a tape recorder for your phone - tape your session - that way you play back instead of recall what he says to you. It may be important!
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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I have a recorder Kayla..... I plan on using it to .... I know I will forget everything if I don't do it....
I just keep praying Kayla I get something that can help me....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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2 elderly women are driving down the road. Mildred runs a red light. Betty looks up and thinks to herself Did mildred run a red light. Sighs and thinks nothing more of it. 2 lights later Mildred runs another red light. Betty holds her tongue and makes sure her seatbelt is tight. Mildred runs yet a third red light. Betty then turns to Mildred and says "Mildred you just ran 3 red lights!" Mildred turns to Betty and says" Oh my God, am I driving!"
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She keeps saying you need to forget him and move on....
How can you want him back after all of this???? I understand Hurting. I have heard the same thing. Others probably think I'm so stupid. I have put up with so much. Is it worth it? Sometimes I wonder myself why I hold on. I hope God guides your time with SH. Lady
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