Yes..BE STILL..don't do anything....don't send the letter...

Ok I won't send the letter......

I read the post and I printed it out ... I will be still...

After reading that I realized that any response I give WH will just give him the upper hand again and allow him to justify and continue to try and get to me. I guess no response is the best response...

this is stange.....

WH called DD nd left a message on her phone that this will be the last weekend he is living with OW. After that he will be living in his truck ....

She said for some reason he has been blowing her phone up the last 2 days and she didn't answer it.

The only thing I asked her was did he sound ok? She said he sounded fine, I said thats good because I just want to make sure he is ok because I love and care about him...

Now I sure don't want to get my hopes up but maybe this is a good sign.... So now all I can do is sit back and watch what happens next..... I pray he is really moving out.....

I LOL when I read this.....

The OW is probably mad about court BUT really WHO CARES?

So then Mimi do you think this is a good sign???

I know they could break up and make up but maybe some reality is getting through....

I don't want to set myself up here but I can't help but feel this is good on the grand scheme of things....

you see...the strange thing is this...he is feeling heat from ow...and it is????

so strange b/c the ws believes it is ALL ABOUT THEM...so they find it ALIEN that the OP believes otherwise.

oh how sad....he is living in his truck?

Amd how this has become a "throwaway society" has happened? easy.

his ow did NOT GET HER DIVORCE NEEDS MET...SO SHE IS ANGRY..

and it is the END OF THEIR AFFAIR.

MAYBE FAST...MAYBE SLOW...

BUT ...the END IS NIGH!

I know this b/c my xh's ow/w/baggage is ending slowly too! amd there is nothing I could do to help the man as I am out.

Probably is good.

But I remain concerned that you know too much about what is happening with him..

Hurting:

TRUST STEVE HARLEY'S JUDGMENT..

THEY WILL BREAK UP..IN THEIR OWN TIME...

Meanwhile, you've got to focus on yourself....

RECOVERY IS NOT FOR SISSIES!!!!

Didn't you report him for living in subsidized housing with her, or her for having him there? If so, and if your report is being followed up on, he may be moving out while the matter is investigated. I don't suppose you can tape the message and send it to the relevant authorities, just in case? I know you want to see this as a hopeful sign, and maybe it is, but maybe it's more related to the complaint you made than anything else.

Even if it's due to the complaint, it's still a good sign. They are in a happy, little "LOVE NEST"...

Mimi and Peach,

I know this is not over yet, not by a long shot.

I know they may still try and make this work. I also know that even if they break it off he may still not come back...

For now just to have her out of his life would do wonders for me....

I didn't ask a bunch of questions from DD. I did not ask her anything about his phone calls from the last 2 days and she din't offer anything....

I just wanted her to know I w as concerned about him because I do still care and love him.

I am doing nothing I am just going to wait and see what happens. And of course just because he says it does not mean it will happen. Actions is all that counts for now...

I am asking no questions to anyone ..... Time will tell the truth

Oh, wise hurting! Don't say or do anything. No letters, no emails, no nothing. The ball is in his court. As Ark says, be still.

And I think the "boyfriend" comment was fishing. But fishing, testing the waters, having regrets, etc., mean nothing. Will he pay the piper? Will he have the guts to go for recovery?

Keep busy. The dice are rolling.

OKIE:

Not much else to say.

He'll be back.

No doubt about it.

None whatsoever.

Just some more time...maybe not tomorrow or the next day...but he will be back. For better or worse, your WH is just the 'type' to come back.

It is all about the balance of comfort/discomfort with him.

Just a matter of time now.

Goodluck.

Lem

Well, true, it can't be making things more fun for them. Running from the law-what's next?

All I can say now is time will answer all....

as Ark says .. Be Still..... Thats all I can do for now...

Hurting - Just checking up on you - I'm keeping my finger crossed.

Kim

Me to Kim..... me to .........

oklahoma

this all sounds hopeful to me!

if you get in a jam again about something like the note you wanted to give your H....try sending an e-mail to steve. Jennifer has been great about answering mine.

and i read the post "be still" also...it was wonderful

darn it though...it sure is hard for me because of my ADHD!

Hurting,

1st of all, you saw your H but the one in court was the WS. You keep wanting to write to the H but all that's out there is the WS. You are refusing to listen to the info from your D and SIL..... why?!??! U s/b strong enough by now to handle that kind of info and digest it. You can't reverse babble or get stronger if you keep hiding.

Granted, plan B is good but even plan B has it's limits. After a while like plan A, plan B loses it's strength and turns into mush.

IMHO you are turning your plan B efforts into excuses to keep from moving forward. That gives strength to the WS and the A because you c/b pushing plan B past it's effective limits.

What t/d? Hm..... take it to the next level. Why? Because your H is still out there being held captive and lost. He is trying to get info to you but you hear then want to see quicker results.....it ain't gonna come that quick. Stop getting your hopes up when the WS is still in the pix.

NOTE: If the WS wants to live in his truck....let him. He won't the be 1st or the last, just one among many stupid WS who think that will make the BS feel guilty.

Keep up your resolve to be strong but learn to handle the info and use the info to your advantage.

L.

orchid,

Ok I see what your saying. How do I use this info to my advantage?

the info DD gave me today made me happy but I am also smart enough to know that anything could happen. He may stay or he may go back at a later date. Could be they are just mad and once the anger blows they try and make this still work.
Could be he just moves out and they still see each other, I have no idea.

So the question is how do I use this to help me? I think I am strong enough to handle this, it hurts to hear him say negative things but I handle them ok and come here to vent about it and get advice. The last conversation I had with him in Dec. I did real well. I handled myself and never broke down or shed a tear. I told him how I felt and et him know how he hurt me. I did some reverse babble , not as well as you but some were good. I showed him strength again this past week by holding my ground and not backing down.

So I think , no I am sure I can handle this now. And if he is staying in his truck to make me feel guilty it won't work. I know what its like to live out of the truck , I used to do it with him when we OTR together. He will be fine that I know. Plus its not like he hs nowhere to go, his sister would let him stay there. itds not like he will be living in a pickup or something its a nice truck with a bed and all....

But the thing is he has done nothing yet, its all talk so far. So until he makes a move nothing has changed. We can only wait and see.

Is the fog lifting ??? Who knows... Or maybe its just a peek from the fog only time will tell......