Ok as far as the reporting of him living with her. I did call about reporting it and got the info I needed to turn it in, I gave the info to a freind to do it because they wanted my name and I was not willing to give it. I spoke to my friend about it today and she never did it either. So as far as I know they never got turned in. I was not willing to risk my name being associated with that because it would just cause more problems for me and more problems I don't need.

My friend asked me today do I still want her to do it, I said lets wait and see what happens in the next few weeks. I am sorry I should have told everyone this happened this way but I was ashamed I could not do it and had to have someone else do it. This is the first time I talked to my friend in several weeks so thats why I didn't know it didn't happen.

So I don't think this has anything to do with him moving out or leaving her. I understand if everyone gets upset with me about this because I couldn't do it but thats the way it is.....

Not upset with you, however, something is still not adding up. You need to be on high alert. Don't let your guard down.

I have no idea why the tools are a big deal right now. And to be honest I really don't think he needs them. I think its an excuse to use to come to the house. I could be wrong though.

I just don't know what to think anymore. I have messed up so many times with all of this and I seem to continue to mess up.

I am almost to the point now of just doing nothing anymore.... No plana or planb and just let the chips fall were they may......
Just live my life and let him live his however he sees fit....

Hurting:

I recommend that you go back over your notes from your session with Steve Harley.

You seem to be forgetting the content of that session.

Didn't Steve tell you exactly what to say to your H if you have chance.

It's important to follow Steve's COACHING exactly....

The one thought that came to my mind is maybe they are going to skip town together ..... Maybe the pressure is to much for them and leaving here could give them a clean start somewhere without anyone knowing them....

Believe me this was my first thought... Hope I am wrong...

Did you read my post?

What did Steve Harley say?

You can have confidence in his opinion...

yes Mimi he told me what to say and I will say it......If the chance arises.

" get rid of the OW and we can talk" .....

Pretty much thats it in a nutshell......

Didn't he tell you to say something about wanting the marriage? I thought you said that..

Didn't he think the A would end?

Try not to disregard his impressions.

I read it....


His opinon was this affair will end and once he goes through some withdrawl he will try and come back.....

He says we have to much history and years for WH just to walk away without trying to come back....

As I said before your post, didn't he suggest you say something about wanting the marriage?

He told me not to give up hope ..... He thinks WH will return ....

Yes he did Mimi .... he told me to say I want the marriage and I don't do divorce

You seem to be forgetting what Steve said...

I think you are going to have the chance VERY SOON to tell him that you want the marriage...NOT A DIVORCE...

Hurting, I went back to your SH notes. What you said to DD was good. In a big way it was a modified plan b

Hmmm....Now this one kind of surprised me because WH is coming after tools. This may be a message. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Lady

I am on the same page as Lady...

Coming to get the tools...hmmmmm

Practice: "We can work on our marriage as soon as you get rid of the OW...for good..forever..."

I think if he comes by here tomorrow, I will stay here and see what happens.

If he wants to speak to me I will talk to him and tell him what Steve told me to say.

I may get blown out of the water but I guess I will have to take that chance.....

Maybe this is a sign , I just don't know.... But I am willing to take the chance on seeing him and saying what I have to....

It probably won't be something he will want to hear but I am going to say it anyway.

I do find it funny myself that all of a sudden he wants some tools. He has done without them for months now....
Excuse to come over??????? Who the heck knows ...

It's too soon - - meaning you seeing him because he supposedly moved out of OW's place. He's into gettng a fix and you're going to give it to him and then back to square one you are.

Again, in my not so humble opinion, you need to be gone and the kids don't know where you are or who you're with etc. etc.

Keep your wits about you. You seem to be on the verge of losing them. You have so many people rally around you because you've done so well. Keep it up.

Inanutshell,

I feel like i am in between a rock and a hard spot here.

I agree its to soon to see him after all of this new info.

But on the other hand its a chance to let him know the marriage still has hope..... I still want it...

I just don't know what to do ..... I want to see him and I don't want to see him..... But I also don't want him in the house without me here. Because I know my kids would not keep him out even if I asked because he is their dad and he wants what is his. Why does this have to be so hard?

Ok I royally screwed up now.....

DD was on the phone with WH and OW was around because he is getting his stuff together. Anyhow I told her to let him know he could come by tomorrow and get what is was he needed. She gave me the phone and I just told him that one thing... He said ok, and i shouldn't be talking to you on the phone bye......

I know I messed up and should have never said anything to him. I am not freaking out because of what he said to me. It did hurt a little bit but not to the point of crying an acting a fool.....

So I guess if he does come tomorrow I will just stay way from him and not say anything. He just is not ready to speak to me at all.... I can stay in my bedroom while he is here getting whatever it is he needs from the shed.

Another lesson learned.....