Well Hurting, It's not my place to judge, it's Jesus's, but WH may "think" she doesn't lie, but they both do. They have lied to themselves and everyone around them trying to justify their affair. It's a terrible thing to be so self deceived as to walk in such error and wrongdoing. If OW learns anything from this I hope she will think again before she falls for a married man. And if WH learns anything, it would be that marriage is more than a bad business deal. I wouldn't call 24 yrs of marriage and 3 children a bad business deal. He is cursing his own family.
May God Bless your family Hurting, and come against all the bad that has happened, and may He turn everything around for good now.

Blessings,
Lady

Lady,

Thank you ... I am sure God will do his wonderful magic for our family. With or without WH.

My children and I will survive this and go on to be good healthy people.

I am sure God in his ifinate wisdom will deal with WH and OW in his own way.

For myself I am becoming a person I am proud of. I can stand on my own two feet and I feel I have proved this over these long 8 months. I am still here and I am living. I may not be there all the way but I am sure farther than I was say even 2 months ago. I do worry about the future and how hard its going to be but I will never have to worry about being alone. I have my family and my children and God to stand with me. Thats more than WH has for now.

I feel for him he is so lost to himself and the Lord. I pray everyday that God works a miracle for him so he can return to the right path in his life. I pray for peace for him and the torment he must be going through....

My mom said something funny to me last night. We were talking about how WH is a strnager now and no longer the man he used to be. She told me BS I know how bad you hurt and what he has done would destroy anyone but now is the time to show him compassion. Lead him the right way by your actions. When he becomes a broken man and he will, show compassion and love to him as hard as it may be that is what he will need...

Things will be good, I just know they will.........

Nope no way he has a keylogger.... He has no access to my pc .... and believe me the man can't even figure out how to turn it on...

I have tried over the years to teach him about it and he has no interest.... He does not even know the email address .... and we have had it for years.....

But you know what even if he did, I have nothing to hide from him.... Unless the truth should be hidden....

Even if he showed up here today ranting an raving like he has been the last few days I would still stand up to him and say I want our marriage, no matter how much he says he does not love me or will never come back...

This is so true.

You have done so well Hurting. You have grown so much through the hardest time in your life.

Lady

Lady,

Thank you for saying that.... I have grown a lot during this I am realizing I can do what I have to for myself and my children.

I have becme a stronger person who does not have to rely on someone to take care of me.

It seemed that everything was happening just to bring me down but I have survived so many little tragedies since all of this started... The house fire, the cutting off of utliites an so many little things that would have sent me over the edge before. I even gathered the strength to file legal papers on my H whom I love. I didn't back down on what I want, which I am sure he thought I would.

My relationship with my DS has become better, we have grown so much closer and I realize I was not the best mother in the world but I am doing so much better with him now.

I have learned to control my anger and not flare up all the time. I have learned to communitcate so much better and tell people how I feel and what I need. I am becoming a whole person again. I have learned to forgive people , one of my WH'S biggest thing is I have issues with my dad's wife and soem other realitves. Yup I let it eat at me for so many years but I have let that go now. Its not my place to judge them its God's place.

I was not always the best housekeeper in the world either, I let things go but now I am trying much harder to keep my home the way it should be. Its not perfect yet but I working my way there.

So as I look back and see some of what WH says are his reasons for leaving I understand them and accept my faults and are working to change them. Maybe I am a day late and a dollar short for my H but for me I making positive changes that will be with me the rest of my life. He thinks will never change and thats his choice I can';t make him come back and see but in time from a distance he will notice.

No matter what my fault were though the choices he made are his and his alone. I won't take the blame for his lack in judgement to have an affair or to walk out on his family. I find it funny he can say to me that he changed from his past mistakes which he did but he dosn't think I can...

You know I think about how i have let my fear run my life this past several months. Fear of making him angry or pushing him further away. I see now it was more the fear of being alone than anything else, well i have conquered that fear. I do wonder sometimes if his fear is worse than mine. His fear of admitting mistakes seems to overwhelm him. He has always been one who hated to admit he was wrong. So instead of saying I wa wrong he runs away and continues to justify with stuff that really when you look at it is not life shattering things. Its not like I abused him or cheated on him , I became depressed and withdrawn, I couldn't get out of the house to look for a job or go in public because the fear overwhelmed me that people would see i was not a healty person. I didn't clean the house like I should, I just could never get motivated because of the depression. All I wanted to do was hide in my own little world.... Well I have broken out of that world and now am ready to face life with a new outlook..

I could ramble on here forever but I guess most of you understand what I am saying..... I love life now and I love my family and I love my H even though he does not love me right now... But thats ok I know somewhere deep down inside he does , he just has to find it again.... Maybe someday he will.....

Well all I am off to work ....

Everyone have a great evening.....

We all survived today and will survive tomorrow. Life gets better each day....

As Mimi says anything is possible when you believe......

Prayers to all......

hurting....


YES! I have noticed this. I always pay close attention to your thread, even if I don't post all the time. I just poke my head in and I have seen you grow in strength so much it amazes me. It is so nice to see! You have tough days, but have you noticed they are not every day anymore! You are able to get out of the slum much faster, and you are ever stronger hurting! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hope you have a good day at work!

I know you had a tough day today thinking OW is lurking around. Let her! She is not worth you thinking about or changing your life around. You are stronger every day <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />, while she is weaker and weaker every day (that is right OW, you are!).

Take care of yourself. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Daisy

So whether the OW can read or not, it doesn't matter. The OW is smaller but smellier than a speck of poop. Must be all that condensed A stuff in her mouth and mind. hey.....well if she's reading this, think she can keep her trap shut now? LOL!!!!

I think it's a big plus! Just a matter or adjusted perception. LOL!!!

Now as for you and your progress...... well all have improvements to make. Your H has disgressed to lower than dirt...... so if you are gonna talk about improvements.....he's got t/b disinfected before you can even talk about improvements. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

So, when do you want me to write to the OW?!?!?! My RB is great for this. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

orchid,

You can write to the OW anytime you please....

Like you said though maybe she can't read it and understand with that fogged brain....

But I hope she understands this ... I am a better woman than she will ever be..... I don't try and take married men and ruin families. The high road is always better, the view is nice from up here.....




Hurting

P.S. Thanks Daisy you made my day ...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

So skanklaho may be lurking...good! I use to worry that my WH's skanklaho was reading as well. But you know what? It doesn't matter it doesn't change a thing. You still want your H (she already knew that) You still want to save your family (she already knew that) You are growing stronger and more independant everyday (that scares the pants off her..never mind she probably doesn't wear them anyway) So now she knows that she will NEVER measure up to you and she will be desperate, she'll drink more get in a couple of bar fights lose clumps of hair and some teeth. (skanklaho's don't have many teeth to start with anyway just fangs).

So hurting you have a nice day and be you...strong, confident, classey. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And she'll have to be her...that's punishment in itself! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Confused you make me laugh ......

But the truth is the truth .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

skanklaho....is that near Idaho....

ARKIE

LMAO

Good one Ark <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Do you want to P*ss on her parade. Next time she is following you call the police and let them know this woman is stalking you. Tell them all the details.
Let her deal with the police. Stalking is taken very seriously these days.

BKarl,

Ii was just a fluke that this happened. In no way is anyone stalking anyone.

I just happened into the parking lot as she was leaving and the bank I pulled in after her. She was at the ATM and I was in the drive through line making a deposit.

So it was all just something that happened....

To be honest I don't think either one of us wants to see the other.... I know I don't.....

Now as to why it had to be broadcast to WH I have no clue.

But you know what I really don't care why. I did nothing I haven't done before. I have cut through that parking lot lots of times just this time she happened to be leaving.

One thing for sure it didn't rattle me at all.... If it had been a few months ago I probably would have lost it, but now so what I know who is the better person.... I have nothing to be ashamed of I did nothing wrong or have no reason to hide....

Then you are getting much stornger my dear and I pray that for you every night.

Thank you BKarl for the prayers. I appreciate all of them...

I am getting stronger and even though I miss my H and want our marriage, I know I will be fine without him if that happens...

Maybe I have become numb or something because so much of this does not rattle me anymore. I let what he says roll off my back and not get to me anymore.

I know who the sane person is here ..... He is going through something right now that I don't understand but it is what it is..... I hope and pray with time and space he will come back to himself.... He is really missed by all.... I just wish he realized that.....

Well, it's evident where you get all your class and strength .... from good old Mom <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Pep....

I will be sure to pass that on to my mom....

She is a very strong woman with a lot of compassion for people. Even though I am her daughter and this hurts her to see me go through this all she wants is for me to be happy. And if WH coming back is what makes me happy she stands behind me.

As if things couldn' get worse...

the police were just here and arrested my DD. Seems she didn't finish paying off her ticket and they issued an arrest warrent. She only owed 62.00 more dollars and didn't pay it.

So now she is in jail for the night. I asked about bail and its 500.00.. I don't have 500.00 to get her out. Looks like she may have to sweat this one out.

DS called WH because DD wanted him to. WH said well this is what she gets, maybe she will learn her lesson.

I know she has to take resposiblity for her actions but this is my child and I can't stand the thought of her in jail....

My God what else is going to happen to our family???? Its like I am being tested....

I just want to run away and forget all my problems..... But as Ark once said to me ... No matter where you run , you are always there.....

Hurting