LOL

It's possible Texas.....

Lem ,

I didn't want to highjack Eav's thread.

So thank you for the standing ovation. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> I think I am finally getting it ..... Took long enough but its sinking in......

Hurting <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Good news all , I start my days shift hours on Sunday.

I go in at 5 am and will be off at 2:30 ..... I think I can definatley handle these hours better. Means going to bed a little bit earlier but thats ok..... At least I will be home at night with DS.....

Plus I will get more hours doing this. Full time hours so a little bit more money to bring home.

Well I am off to bed now seeing how i just got home from working all night.

Take Care,

Hurting

hurting...

Just wanted to say that I loved your posts to eav yesterday. You are one strong lady! I can see you turning into one of these pros out here......you are on your way!

Daisy

Daisy,

Thanks for the compilment. But I am far from being a pro.

I'm just a woman who still loves her wayward husband and wants to save her marriage, even though its very doubtful that will happen.

But I have come to accept this may happen and can and will learn to live with it and make a good life.

I am a lot stronger than I was just a few months ago and I thank God for that everyday.

But I do know that when this divorce goes through it will be a blow that will take me backwards some. Its one thing to know its going to happen and accept it but it will be something else when it does happen. To hold those papers in my hand saying I am no longer married will probably devestate me. I am not looking forward to it at all.

But I know I will be ok.... God will heal my hurt just like he has done the last several months.

Life is good for me right now. Not what I wanted but its good. It will be that way for all of us , I am sure of that. We all will look back years from now and remember the pain of this but it will be a distant memory because we will have moved on and be happy again. Some of us with our spouses and some alone or with new loves in our lives. But we will all make it and be ok.

Take Care,

Hurting

Wish me luck all , I am going out to the casino tonight....

Can't spend much but sure would like to win some.....

Will let you know when I return if I hit the jackpot... lol

Ya never know.......... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hurting

If you hit the jackpot, I bet he'd be back like a shot! TT

TT,

Your probably right.... Thats why when I bought lotto tickets last week for the powerball of 135 million , I had already planned to hold off getting the winnings right away... lol Course i didn't win so didn't matter...

I'll be darned if I am going to split mega bucks with him so he can spend it on "her"... lol

Anyhow I don't have that kinda luck so this will all be for fun....

Ok so I didn't win the jackpot but I did win $ 50.00 by just playing $2.00... Not a bad return if I must say so myself.

I had a good time was nice and relaxing. I love the noise of the slots...... lol

So I called DD and said I won isn't that cool.... She was excited for me.

So I get home and what happens, DD says I talked to dad. I said thats nice and dropped it. She says well he asked where you were. I told him you went to the casino and won 50.00 ... He said lucky her I only put money in and get have a nice day. I said nothing and asked nothing and walked away. I will not talk to her about him or ask any questions. For someone who does not care he sure wants to know what I am doing or where i am going all the time....
Oh well sucks to be him ....

I am off on Saturday and I think I will try the casino again..... I had a blast ....... I have to be careful though I know me and i could get addicted to this place.... Thats why I know I could never live in Vegas... I would be one of those homeless people lol .....

Oh yeah thn I stopped by work to tell everyone I won and some of them had never seen me except in my work clothes with my hair pulled back under a hat. A few didn't even recognize me lol ..... One of the guys said hey beautiful once he knew who I was.... He said you look hot I never really noticed with the work uniform on.... Now talk about feeling good that made my day.....

Sigh then I went ot Wal-mart and spend my winnings on milk and things for the house..... But it was fun ......

Hope everyone else had a good day....


Hurting

Do not go back, I repeat do not go back!!! Quit while you're ahead. That was an amazing profit. Glad you had a good time.

LOL TT your probably right..... I should stay away..

This is the first time I have been to any of our casino's here and they have been here for like 6 years or so....

So it was something new and exciting for me..... The smell of money in the air ...... LOL

Congratulations on your win, Hurting! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

The last money I won was £10 on the lottery on Christmas Eve - I spent it on a very nice bottle of Chablis for MIL and FIL.

It gives you a real boost, yes?

Alph.

Alp,

Yup made me feel great. I wanna do it again .....lol

Ok so let me tell ya about last night after I get home and get in bed.

DD who's room is right next to mine is on the phone talking to her dad. So I can hear her end of the conversation. Anyhow she is telling him about my night again and how one of the guys at work called me beautiful and that he was 25 yrs old. Next thing I know she hollars out to me Mom dad says you should go for the young guy..... grrrrrrr I said nothing but it made me mad... Why would I go for someone young enough to be my own son plus I am not interested and i am still married.

So anyhow I got up and came back in the living room and was watching tv when she coms in wanting to know if I had talked to the mediation people yet because dad says it needs to be on a friday. I just looked at her and said nothing. I will be talking to them today because they called yesterday.

Anyway I had some music on and was singing and acting a fool cause i felt good and what does she do she tells him I am acting goofy... So then he wants to know what I am saying or doing... so of course she tells him and I just continue on. Then he wants to talk to all of the dogs, so she has them in her room and he is talking to them all via the speaker phone and they are going nuts. They miss him...
Then I finally go to bed because I have to get up early and she is stll talking to him and he wants to know if the dogs are in bed with me... I swear for someone who does not care or ever wants to come home he sure has a lot of questions about what is going on around here....

But one thing I never responded or acted like I knew what was being said. And I never once hae asked DD anything about him in weeks.... I don't want to know ......

But one thing for sure I feel so good right now and happy.... Things are looking up so much with the job hours change and getting my hair cut..... I feel almost like a new person.....


Hurting

Hi Hurting, I just wanted to let you know that I have been following your thread and can sense you are slowly getting better. You seemed to hit rock bottom several weeks ago and have emerged with a new attitude. And the one thing I have learned through all this is the your ATTITUDE is critical to a successful recovery, whether it is with or without WH.

If your feeling depressed, angry, withdrawn, your WH will not want to be part of that...and who would? Think of it, aren't you more inclined to be with someone who is happy, positive and outgoing? If you develop this attitude, as you are, things will fall into place for you.

Your WH has NO idea what you have been through or what true love really is. It's all superficial for him right now...everything is. This has changed you and it's obvious from the hopeless, trashing posts you were posting several months ago.

Look, that guy who called you beautiful at work saw something you can't see right now. Beauty is not just looks, it about attitude and your getting that attitude back. You are doing great!

Hurting,
It is nice to hear you sounding so good. I am thinking about getting several inches of my hair lopped off too, but I am not sure yet.

You just sound so comfortable, it seems like you have finally gotten used to having the upper hand. WH and OW have to slink around acting guilty and you are just be-bopping along enjoying your life without all the baggage of guilt and shame.

Enjoy!

Hope,

Thanks so much for the boost. I have been feeling so much better. Yeah once in a while I still get sad but no where near as much as a few months ago. I am starting to enjoy life again. I thank God everyday that I wake up now. Just a few short months ago I never wanted to wake up again. I thought my life was over. But I see now its not it will just get better.

Yup I still miss him and want him home but we don't always get what we want. I have come to accept he may never come back, well thats his choice and his loss. My children and I will be fine. We have each other and a happy home.

I still have times I wonder how someone can throw 24 yrs of marriage away but those times are less and less... Your right he doesn't know what true love is or what he$$ I have been through with all of this. But I see my he$$ ending and his just beginning. And in the end I believe his will be worse than mine was.

I have followed your story as well, and I don't have any advice to offer but I do wish you the best and I pray your WW will see what she is doing and do the right thing.

Take Care,

Hurting

Hi Hurting,

...just thought I would let you know.... it shows from your posts that you are doing better... especially about NOT talking about WS with your DD.

...keep up the good work!

Jean,

Your right I am be-bopping along and doing what I want.

No one to answer too, well except for the kids who told me I had a curfew last night...lol Of course I came home when i suppose too..lol

They are so funny and protective of me. I love them so much. I do have to say the one thing good that has come out of this is my relationship with my kids has gotten so much closer. We do things together and always now say I love you when leaving the house. Even my DS who is almost 16 now gives me a kiss and a I love you mom when I leave for work. We talk more than we ever have. I guess it made us all realize that life can change in the blink of an eye and someone you love can be gone so quick. So now we all rememeber to let each other know how we feel. Pretty sad it took the family having such a crisis to see this.

Well i just got off the the phone with the mediation people... Looks like mediation won't even be schedualed until probably March. They have already talked with WH adn so she askes me the reason for the divorce. I told her the truth , seems they didn't know that he was having an affair.... Not that it makes much difference but it did answer a lot of questions as to why he was throwing away a 24 yr. marriage. The lady was very nice and understanding.

I told her I don't want the divorce and that I thought this was going to be a waste of time because neither one of us will give. She said I know how you feel but it has to be done. I told her I understand and I will be there no problem. I said its a shame one person can get a divorce and the other person has no say, she said I know Okla. makes divorce so easy...

Anyhow they will get back to me on the date. So looks like mediation still may be a month or so away... Not that it will probably make any difference.

So that were we are now.....


Hurting

let me ask a question here.

My MIL asked me if I thought that WH may not want to come home because he does not want to live in this house anymore. Of course I have no clue but I do remember him saying he wanted to move out of here before all of this happened. So actually this is her question not mine. Let me put it to you all like she put it to me.

Is it possible he won't make a move towards coming home because he does not want ot live in the house anymore and since he knows all of your neighbors know what happned could he be afraid of what they will think or treat him?

My self I don't think that any of that would be a good reason but then again he is whacked right now. So I told her I would post the question and see what any of you think.

Thanks from my MIL in advance....


Hurting

The house is a non-issue once a man re-locates his [i] [b] integrity