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That is a VERY good point, Justpeachy! It's ok to love him, just not his actions. This is a great way to still show the love for him, but NOT tolerate his actions. The ball is in his court. In the meantime, it's good for him to know, life will go on, with or without him, but he's always welcome, if he chooses to do right by his family. The family that still loves him! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> (The REAL him.)
Last edited by Jennifer68; 02/18/06 07:04 PM.
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Hurting, this is something you already knew. You've done so good thru all of this. God is rewarding you, by bringing your family to you, for a visit.
Your H knows you still love him, and the door is still open. I don't think that has ever been a question. You've made it pretty clear where you stand.
This will all pay off in the end. Heck, like you said, it already is! You've been blessed with your family and home!
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right Jennifer i have never waviered from how I feel, not one time...
But sometimes I wonder if this maybe the problem. He knows I love him and want him to come home. He thinks I will always be an option , but what he does not realize yet is that one day I won't be that option anymore. I truly think he thinks I will be here forever waiting, little does he know it won't always be that way...... It can't be that way, I have to move on and have a life for me. I won't sit here and pine away for him even though I love him....
Anyhow enough about WH and his bimbo..... I want to be in a wonderfull mood when my babies show up ......... Oh happy day !!!!!!!
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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I AGREE!! And I bet they are about to pop in at anytime! Time to turn on the music and get a little rythem going! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> How exciting for you. ENJOY!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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As a grandma, I know how you feel. I am sooooo happy for you. Oh the hugs and unconditional love...
Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy !!!
That is such great news Hurting... (I think I am going to start calling you Healing, because you are hon !!)
Your friend, carnation
Me - BS 55
WH/FWH 50
OW 30
Much evidence says that my H was/is
deeply involved in a very long term PA
Prolly will never know much more than that
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Grandbabies are here !!!!!!!! Awesome they are......
Time for some cuddleing and sweet kisses.....
Carnation thank you my friend ...... I am getting there.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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HAVE FUN!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Hurting,
Have fun with the grandbabies, and your children.
What they say or do with WS is between them and WS. NOT you.
Step back from it. You have too much information. I did too. LOL. But you have to be strong and step back from it and do what is healthiest for you and family.
Hope you have a good time.
I have a lot to say to you about your DD after this is all over. All I have to say for now is TOUGH LOVE. It is the only thing that will work for her. And it might take awhile.
In the meantime, enjoy your son and family. Do NOT worry about WS.
Love in Christ, Miss M
me: FBS H: FWS Fully recovered
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MissM,
Your right what about WH and the kids, I have to step back. Its just so hard , I want so bad for them to let him have it but I know they won't and I would never ask or tell them to do it..... It just makes me so mad that he seems to think they accept this mess. I know they all have told him they don't but them trying to get along with OW just to save peace makes it seem that way...
Anyhow the grandbabies have grown so much since august. The little one is walking and in to everything. The oldest one is still my boy and thinks grandma can do anything.....
Well they have now woken up so time to be grandma and spoil em rotten...... Have a great day all.....
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Well a few minutes of peace and queit, they have gone to wal-mart. '
It has been a wonderful day, the grandbabies are awesome and into everything... I forgot what it was like saving a falling nick-knack ...lol
Oh I think we have to musical boys on our hands, they love the piano... My ears could use some rest but its wonderful to hear life going on in this house again....
My DD and DS both said to me today, Mom this feels like home now with all of us here the only thing missing is dad. My oldest and his wife are having a little difficulty with WH not being here. It just seems strange to them, waiting for him to come walking in any minute and then realizing he won't be. Its all so bittersweet you know. But we are enjoying each other and savoring the time we have.
ODS has found a water leak I didn't realize I had in the shower. I knew the water pressure had gone down but could not figure out why. So he is going to fix it for me this week.
Having them here is such a joy but yet brings back so many memories..... Looking at ODS I see his father so much, he looks just like him just younger like when we first met.
Anyhow I have to get ready for work. Everyone take care....
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Healing, enjoy your grandbabies !!!
I am so happy they are visiting you, just what the doctor ordered.
Carnation
Me - BS 55
WH/FWH 50
OW 30
Much evidence says that my H was/is
deeply involved in a very long term PA
Prolly will never know much more than that
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Thanks Car its been wonderful with them here.
Last night they came up to bk around closing time to eat. I was cleaning the lobby and my OGS (2) decided to help me. It was so funny he was trying to help me mop and wipe tables down. He was pushing the mop and got mad when I tried to help him. So I gave him a towel and he wiped the tables. My boss thought it was so cute.
I am off work today from both jobs so it will be nice, we are having a family dinner at SIL'S this evening. Thats is all of us but WH, he sure is missing out on a lot of stuff. Oh well his choice not mine.
Hope everyone has a good day.... So far everyone here is still sleeping , so getting some quiet time for a little while anyway.....
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Well just a little more drama to add to my life. This may be a little long but hard to believe because I'm not sure I can believe it myself.
If you all recall one of my DD'S friends was staying with us up until sometime in Nov. Well as you know I kicked her out of my home after the fire thing.
Well while i am working last night my ODS comes to my work to let me know that as he was in the back yard he noticed and electrical cord running from DD'S room into our shed. As he went over and looked in th shed what do you think he found? The girl I had kicked out and her b/f living in my shed. Turns out they had been in there over a month and I had no clue.
Now before anyone freaks out I very seldom go in the backyard so I never noticed it. Plus with working all the time and the rest of the time sleeping I just was not aware. I have to admit I questioned why the electric bill was 40 higher last month. But could not figure it out I thought the electric company read the meter wrong. As it turns out they had a space heater in there, plus a tv and vcr. So now my electric bill question is answered.
Anyhow ODS told them they had 2 hours to clear out. He called the police and made a complaint. I wa shocked to know this was happening in my own yard and I had no clue about it. DD hid this well. She said she felt sorry for them, I told her to bad this was all by their own poor choices not mine and its all I can do to take care of us without her friends who can't or won't get jobs.
I asked ODS not to tell his dad about this as I didn't need WH knowing and saying something about me not paying attention as to what is happening in my own yard.
Well by the time I gave him this message he had already told his dad. ODS told WH that I had no idea about it and was shocked by it. WH actually said to ODS well I myself would have never thought to look for something like that either so I can't blame your mom for not knowing. Anyhow WH called my SIL last night at 10 pm and was telling her about it and for her to tell me to make sure i make a police report and protect myself. He also asked SIL not to let me know he knew as he knew I didn't want him to know.
Well by now ODS had told me he told his dad and I told SIL I knew WH knows about it. So anoher big shock this week WH was calm and didn't blame me for this. In fact he asked my DIL was I ok? WH told ODS that if /when he ever gets another house and has a shed this will be something he will remember and make sure it never happens again.
So anyhow they are gone and they better stay gone. I am glad ODS found this for me and took care of it. Who knows how long it wpould have been before i realized it.
Now WH is very angry at DD. He told my SIL that he right now wants npothing to do with DD until she can grow up and stop being a thief and her lies and taking advantage of me. My SIL was telling me this and I kinda had to laugh about it. MY SIL said its kinda like the pot calling the kettle black. With all the lies and stuff he has done who is he to talk about disowning anyone. She said he was concerned about me and wanted to be sure I was ok. I told her I am fine and he need not to worry.
So another day in the saga of my life.....
Hurting
P.S. Wonder if ABC would be interest in a script : " The day in the life of Hurting" would be interesting tv for sure.... lol
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Good grief Hurting! Yes, I can believe your shed story, it makes me want to go check mine real quick. I haven't been out there in months.
What has happened with your DD and the ATM card?
I am glad your WH is out of his little angry stage. I hope his sounding compassionate doesn't mess with your head. Sometimes I think it is easier when they are ranting and raving at their BSs.
How long will your OS be in town?
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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Jean,
Well so far nothing has happened yet with the ATM thing. It's all in the hands of the police. I would expect something to happen this week. But I am not sure.
My ODS will be here until friday. So after that I will have to be vigallent on my own and watch what is happening around here.
No WH being comapssionate is not messing with me. I am glad he isn't ranting and raving over it but I am not dumb enough to think it means anything for me. Believe me I don't think this man has had a change of heart. He is still in la la land.......
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Wow Hurting....now thats a first I have heard of that. Well don't let that spoil your visit with your family.
You don't think DD has been spending nights with her boyfriend in there too, do you?????
Lady
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hurting,
check where the extension cord was coming from the house. there is probably a window cracked open where you are losing some heat.
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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Lady,
Nope she hasn't it was her friends my son caught them in there. DD has stayed the night at her b/f's house.
Jean,
Son found the extension cord running from DD'S room to the shed from her window. So I know they have been using electricity to heat the shed. ODS said when he went in the shed it was nice and warm due to the space heater in there..
I swear if its not one freaking thing its another...
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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I swear if its not one freaking thing its another... Yikes...I know just how you feel Hurting. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to file charges? Wouldn't that be trespassing or something? I would make them pay the extra electric they used, and restitution. Lady
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Do you know these kids? How much higher was your electric bill?
It might be time to have a big ole talk with DD. She is old enough to be a productive member of your household. She needs to understand that she is adding nothing to your home but extra cost and extra heartache. She is of age - right? Might be some time for some tough love.
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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