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Perfect timing...thanks I needed that!
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Me too. Thanks Ark!
I don't want to tell you what was going through my mind until I read that.
Printed and now has a home in my pocket
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Thanks Ark! I forgot all to often that is exactly what I need to do...I need to forget everything else and just watch the garden grow for awhile, and stop trying to weed it!
I love your insight! You are amazing! Have a wonderful day!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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This goes with the saying; "Don't just do something, stand there!!" Good advice, I only wish I could follow it.....
There is a clock on the wall ticking. I don't know where it is or what time it is but she's waiting for something. Actually, I think I found the clock. I can't see it clearly enough to read it though....
BH (Me) 46
WW 46
Married 15 years
A began - 6/05
DDay - 7/30/05
Exposure - 8/1/05
D papers served 8/10/05
A continues....
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I don't know who bumped this thread but you are a genius. I've read and puzzled through this thread many times. Be still? Be still? What the heck is that? How could I DO that?
Today, I get it. I'm understanding "still". I'm at a place where "still" is where it's at.
Thanks to whoever bumped it because I needed it.
Grapes are versatile. Grapes can be sour, sweet, sublime as wine and fabulous even when old and dried out.
Me: BS
XCH: Clueless
2-DS: Bigger than me
1-DD: Now also bigger than me!
5/6: Personally served CH with divorce papers
6/6: CH F? wants to time to see if M can be saved
7/6: FCH reenters our lives to work on marriage but secretly signs papers to start divorce...what's that about?
Mediation set for November
Final dissolution in January 2007.
2008 and beyond: Life goes on...
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ark
Thank you sooo very much for the post. It's hard to believe that D'day was one year ago Saturday. Day by day, I march on, wondering whose leading the band. Pushing away the fear and dealing with and within myself has been a challenge, but a gift. What was he thinking when he committed this crime against my soul and his? I look forward to years from now, happening upon the subject and hearing, from a repaired yet tattered heart, what drove him. I look forward to years from now, with him.
I am not angry, I am still. My love is alive, and that's all I can ask for today. My patience does not always prevail, but has allowed an openness to come between us again. He said, "we" the other day. That was a gift. baby baby steps. The greatest gift? I am looking 'forward' again. I look back to examine and learn, not to find anger and resentment. Resentment lives, but it no longer rules. Oh, I could go on and on.
ARK you have inspired me, thank you.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Thank you, Ark, for your great advice. All too often, I am being impatient with WH and being still is just too hard. I know that this is the biggest test of my life- to be still. I am so glad that I read this today but I was having a hard time being still a few minutes ago. It just seems like an eternity. However, I am willing to be still for the sake of my M. I am going to print this out and tape it to my forehead. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Looking forward to a new chapter since D was finalized on 4/24/07 from WH.
"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
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I want to keep this on the front page.
Its exactly where I am and what I need...after all this time he is coming around...I want him to hurry up about it!!!
Last edited by ChaCha; 07/06/06 02:27 PM.
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Ark,
as always words of wisdom to live by. being still is such a task. but one that is empowering for just those few moments. as time goes, moments turn to hours, and hopefully days and weeks (haven't gotten there yet.)
I have struggled with the perfect inner dialogue to redirect myself away from AO's and DJ's, and FU's. I usually just say in my head "shut the **** up"
Be Still is such a better mantra, just saying it is calming. I also have printed your words, and plan to memorize them. Oh, if I could tape them to the inside of my head!!!!
Fightingback
BS (me) 36
WS 39
3 kids 3,4,8
together 15yrs
EA 9/06, PA 10/06
12/07 plan A
1/13/07 WS moves out
1/27/07 1st attempt plan B
2/20/07 REAL plan B
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Bump, this needs to stay at the top
Fightingback
BS (me) 36
WS 39
3 kids 3,4,8
together 15yrs
EA 9/06, PA 10/06
12/07 plan A
1/13/07 WS moves out
1/27/07 1st attempt plan B
2/20/07 REAL plan B
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Thanks for bumping this. I needed it today. It is beautiful.
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This reminds me of (and I am severly paraphrasing scripture here) the story of Elijah, when he was running away from the evil queen Jezabel... he hid in a cave, and there was a terrible storm, earth quake, darkness etc... and it says the Lord was NOT in the storm, or the quake etc... it was a "Small still voice" that helped Elijah... I like to remember that when there are personal storms and earthquakes... just a thought to think ;o) PS. ya might wanna look it up in the bible since I did such a crappy job of reciting it...lol SAS. thx ARK for the reminder. SAS
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Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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bump...thank you TA and eaglesoar
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BUMP for Stillhurting and others,,,
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Bugs,
Got the bump. And it's something I would add to my favorites if I knew how.
Bugs your terrific.
Still
BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
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I wish I had read this on my D-day.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Be still...
But it's so hard...
Be still...
but, but, BUT...
Just be still...
But she's, they're...
be still...
Printing it out to read every morning...
Thanks ^^Ark
If God is a DJ, life is a dance floor, you get what you're given, it's all how you use it... Pink
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ugh, I wish I had read this before I sent my wh that last email... it wasn't a mean email, it was a desperate one for answers and explination, it'll probably make him feel a bit bad at first, but I'm sure he'll get over it just as quick.
SerenitySoon
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