She WON'T meet anyone else because she is MARRIED. That means she's not available...and neither is her H.

Here's the deal...what ever your justification - and that's all it is - you are nothing but an adulter. He is married and his wife is trying to make things work. Good for her. "He was mine first" sounds like something my 8 yr old would say. Grow up, put on big-girl pants and leave them alone.

Also, just so you know...HE'S PLAYING YOU, TOO. Why should he leave either one of you. He's got the best of both worlds. And for you to think he's completely honest with you is a joke.

And, yes, I guess I am a big meanie. I know I won't lose sleep tonight. How 'bout you?

You are very weird...i must say. What if i can't do it,walk away? I really have tried....but i can't.I'm just so glad to have him back in my life again.What do you see? What do you think will happen? I swear to you that i believe with all my heart and soul that he will NEVER let go of me either. And well...i have this neighbor who has been with her married boyfriend for 17 years now...i also don't want to be like her.But i'm waiting for his wife to let go.She is waiting for me to let go...and he is asking her to please let him go..I honestly see no end to this.

Why won't you even look at the other board?

If he is so miserable with his wife, why doesn't HE leave HER. What is he waiting for?

He doesn't need her permission to leave, though. He can go anytime he chooses; he is a free adult who can leave anytime. But he chooses NOT to leave. He has nothing to leave FOR. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

CAKE ALWAYS TASTES SO GOOD WHILE SITTING ON A FENCE!!!

Will you go away if I call you a troll?

TROLL!

Ashley...

I don't know why, but I am going to explain something to you, and pray that maybe you'll take something from it...

You'll notice from my signature area that I am a FWW...[color:"red"]THE ADULTRESS[/color]...In my A, I NEVER had any intention of leaving my Husband...but guess what, I told the OM I was going to...I had to, I wanted him to stick around, so that I could have what I falsely believed to be the best of both worlds...Now that you have heard it from the proverbial horse's mouth do you get it? I was playing both sides against the middle...just like your lover...

Mrs. W

Mrs W,

I know it is safer than eating candy canes on a fence. When I was a kid my brother lost a little bit of his lip to the neighbors beagle for that one.

Ashley,

I haven't posted in a long while. But for some reason, I needed to post to you tonight...

I was an OW - I had an A with a MM. So please consider that before you discount my words.

You asked why his W would want to be with someone who is always thinking of someone else. Kind of like she would be 'shortchanging' herself, right?

If I recall from your posts, you say your MM is suicidal, unable to stand up for himself and leave, and too weak to make a decision on what he wants to do. My question is....why would you want to shortchange yourself? Don't you also deserve a significant other who will be strong, able to handle life's challenges, and who can be honest with himself as well as his family? Don't YOU deserve better, too?

Everyone here is right in that you should do the 'right' thing, and that you are hurting his family and W. But the other significant part is that you are also hurting YOURSELF. Just by wanting this clearly 'damaged' man, you are implying that you are not worth more. I would hope that you think more of yourself. You, too, deserve more respect than he is giving you by keeping you on the hook.

Another thing I would like to say is that your feelings are real. Feelings are neither right nor wrong. Actions are, but not feelings. On the other hand, your feelings are not tied to this man. They reside in you. And what you FEEL for him right now....you could feel for another man - hopefully without the complication of him being married. It's kind of like your first serious boyfriend....you never think you can love someone as much as you love them....then you break up, and you move on. And you find that you really CAN love again - maybe even MORE.

Most OW and WS's are not really in the mindset to 'give' to others...they feel they have been 'wronged', and thus are entitled to the 'love' they feel. And you know what? They are entitled to that same feeling - just not with that particular person.

Not all OW or WS's are bad people....most of them are just misguided.

Your MM is that middle portion of the rope in a HUGE tug-of-war. He is simply moving to the side of whoever happens to pull the hardest at that moment. Perhaps you will win this tug-of-war....but odds are, at some point in the future, that someone will just pick up that other end, and start pulling against you. If he isn't strong enough to get himself out of the middle now, he won't be strong enough to do it with you.

My other question is this....what if....just what IF, we were to tell you that you are right? We are all on your side, your situation is ENTIRELY different than everyone else's (including mine), and that he SHOULD leave his W and come to you?

Would that really change anything?

It really doesn't matter what we think on this board. The fact of the matter is that he is the one that has to make the decisions, and follow through on them. His W and you are both making your cases. But he has to be the one to decide and move.

Ashley, all wayward spouses are damaged in some way. Every last one of us. Some choose to leave their spouse, and take the same problems to a different relationship. They are still damaged goods - just in another store.

Then there are those of us who choose to 'refurbish' ourselves. Some of us are able to do it in the marriage, some of us are not. But the important part is that we have identified our problems, have taken steps to resolve them, and are ready for a healthy relationship.

Your MM has not fixed himself. This is important to realize.

In addition to what others have said, please think about what you are saying about yourself....

You WANT a damaged man.

You WANT someone who is suicidal.

You WANT this to be a role model for your children's relationships.

You WANT to give yourself less than you deserve.

You are right....his W does deserve more. But so do you.

Please think about this.

I can't help it i'm so sweet.But obviously you all are as narrowminded as she is...so maybe i should go to gloryb. I just may do that.But,i promise you all just as i promised him...i will never leave him...ever...so she will just have to learn to share him.

TROLL!

Funny, I was wondering if you were open-minded enough to just look over at gloryb., or if you were just too afraid of what you might see there.

Please don't let us keep you.

www.gloryb.com pink board

yeah you are sweet- a real sweet-TART

Be careful what you wish for. She may decide you can have him all to yourself...then it will be you wondering who else you are sharing him with. It seems that you a desprately seeking attention here...I wish the same for you as I do for all that post here. You will be in my prayers for a clear mind and calm heart.

Ashley,

What was the last thing you did ONLY because it was the right thing to do - regardless of how it affected you? You don't have to answer here. It's simply a question to think about.

Thanks, Move, I almost forgot! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

YW Jennifer

In case that is too hard- click here
http://gloryb.com/board/

Fluke,

What she doesn't realize is that what would be the 'right thing' for her MM, his W, and his family....

will ultimately also be the 'right thing' for her.

Ashley would obviously be better off without him. Of course, unless HE changes something, so would his W! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />