I had IC yesterday. We're tearing down some walls that I had built emotionally and letting those beasts that I had encaged in those walls out.

If you've ever been in a serious accident, you'll know what I'm talking about. For a split few seconds after everything has stopped moving, tires stopped screeching, things just stop and you're doing the mental checklist of yourself. Where am I hurt, what is broken, you're taking inventory... My parents and siblings are that crash and they are so messed up. I'm stuck in this mental inventory loop, waiting for something to break, waiting for something to shout out, "Hey, I'm hurt over here!"

I hesitate to call this state depression. It's not. It's a very cautious state. Heightened awareness, protective of ones emotional self. I don't know that there's a word that encompasses all of that.

It is a very strange place to me to tear down the facade that was hiding my reality. To examine the why of myself for the last 12 years.

I guess I'm posting this to preface the rest of my posts. I'm not seeing things the same way, my future posts may not be the same. My darling wife even told me last night that I'm not the same person. We were supposed to go out last night. We actually got in the car, drove to the place and sat in the car in front of the place for 2 hours talking before we decided to go home.

I'll try to be back after I've completed my mental inventory.

Morning, just checking in to see what's up here today. I see that F&L's not here yet--she may still be sleeping off last night's dance party. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, it sounds like you've been making some good progress in IC, Drex. Looking forward to hearing more from you.

I'll check back later!

-C.

Hello everyone,

Sorry that I have been off board for so long. I have typed up a couple posts and lost them. Our server was down at work yesterday, thanks to Comcast...And I have been more busy than usual at work, so haven't had the time to post alot.

I did catch up on your posts on Monday, and it looks like I will have to do it again...but I wanted to post this so you know I am alive...I'm writing this in Word and copying it online so I don't lose it...My comments may be a bit out of date--I'm trying to recreate the posts I lost before I post another one.

To all, Thanks for your prayers and concern. We are doing okay. I appreciate all of your good thoughts. It's nice to know that you guys are thinking of me...:)

CSJ,
Glad to hear that you and your H are enjoying the book...when do we get a reader's review of this?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hopingfor,
Your H is afraid to be honest with you on the little things because he is afraid you will be mad, or he thinks you will be mad or he knows you will be mad. Try rewarding him for his honesty, if you are not already doing so. This means, when he tells you something honestly, that you bite your tongue about saying something negative, and say "Thank you for your honesty" and leaving it at that. You have to make it 'safe' for him to tell you these things. If you don't, he will continue to tell you little white lies, because he thinks they don't matter. I'm with you--it is the lie that hurts, not that he text messaged his friends...just that he lied when he said he didn't.

I also am too embarassed to tell people about the A, and still want to protect him...Same as CSJ, I don't want people talking about me and thinking, well he must have had a reason to cheat. Of course that's what people think first--I think the initial reaction is to think the BS did something wrong.

Drexxel,
I have deleted most of my old posts about the ongoing situation with my H and I as I don't want it up on a public board.. In a nutshell, my H was having a 9 mos long PA with a coworker who is now 25 (he is 41). She is pressing criminal charges against him claiming that he raped her after an argument. He has said that it was consensual. They both worked graveshift and would come back to her apartment, have sex, and then sleep all day. Then he would come home in the afternoon. She knew that he was married w/ young kids and a pregnant wife but agreed to having a sex only relationship with my H. When he refused to leave his family for her, she became very vengeful and bitter. Hence the charges. So we have been in and out of court with this hanging over both of our heads.

Thanks for your prayers. My H and I have been going to church since December and I see such a difference in our daily lives as a result. My H has always been a religious person although we had not found a church to go to as a family until December. We have become very involved in it and recently became members, and our DS enjoys the children's church class that he attends.

As F&L said, we are not male bashing, per se. It's just that you are in the minority on this thread. If my H did half of what you do, be it housework, working on the M, gifts, communication, etc, I don't think we would be in this situation. My H and I took each other for granted, and we grew apart, had separate lives that made it easy for him to hide his cheating...And like I said above, the OW in my case knew he was married with 2 young kids and a pregnant wife. She flirted with him for 6 mos prior to his going home with her after work. This was after he and I had a huge argument about him not spending time at home...In his case, he says he was going through a midlife crisis and it was an escape from reality for him.

F&L,

I am glad your H is being so helpful over the last few days...Maybe he is feeling better that it has been a year since DDay>? Did he realize how significant the day was?

We are all strong women here... I think that is part of the problem. And Drex is a strong man. We are all the glue that is holding the family together. We have to be because our spouses, for whatever reasons, are not there day in day out. We are the ones who are home, getting the kids ready for school, making sure they do their homework, wear clean clothes, etc. Our spouse's did not have that responsibility and they took advantage of that. They knew we would be the ones to take care of home. They were selfish. They thought only of themselves. Sure, we contributed to what the M was like pre-A, but did any of them have the guts to sit us down and tell us, " look I'm not happy, there is so and so who is interested in me and I"m tempted...we have problems that we need to work on. " If my H had told me what was going on, I would have changed my behavior immediately. I don't know if it would have made a difference, but I didn't get the opportunity to try and see. Many times, I asked him to go to counseling, that I felt like I didn't have a husband, that he lived a double life. He denied it over and over again...

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well and I won't be away for so long again...

Have a good day!
Mf

Mama's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, I needed that!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good to be back...

Boy, I wish I had plans to go to Disney World for Thanksgiving...Wouldn't that be a hoot?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Drexxel,

It is scary to discover things about yourself that you have buried deep down inside. But it will be worth the pain to deal with the issues and move on...You will be a better and stronger person for it...

Take care,
MF

Hi all,

I was just out to see my dad, that's all. The big Disco Ball is on Saturday...they will also have Sherman Hemsely of the old "Jeffersons" series as a special guest - I used to love him on the Jeffersons. "Watch you talkin bout Weezie!!!!" He's so funny!

Everything went normally yesterday my D-Day. Nothing special happened - just like any other day. My husband didn't even remember the day. We watched "Rescue Me" on FX and then went to sleep - we love that show.

Today the sprinkler guy finally came to fix the underground sprinkler clock. It's been 2 weeks - it's pouring rain and he has to turn on all the sprinklers - figures!

Like I said, why are we the ones who are embarassed? We didn't do anything wrong and we are still protecting our WS's.

Well....all is ok. Now my youngest daughter wants to be a Color Guard - they hold the flags and twirl them around and stuff - she's always got a new thing that she wants to do. She does it for a while and gets tired of it. Of course, the practice is at night.

Talk to you guys soon.....MF....better take some of that new medication from Merck!!!! Ha, Ha.

Silly me--I had it stuck in my head that the disco was on 6-6-06! Maybe on some level I associate disco with Satan???????????

-C.

Hi,

My husband's new job has him working late all the time and constant meetings - I guess that goes with the territory. This time I know it's the job.

Took my daughter to color guard practice - let's see how long this activity lasts! Have to pick her and her friend up at 9:00.

What MF said was so true.....I too would have changed the situation, if my husband would have only told me. I asked him so many times - why are we fighting so much - we can't go on like this - why are you so unhappy. I saw the change in him, but I thought it was something I was doing. In my mind, I thought he was falling out of love with me and just couldn't tell me. I told him I loved him - I can't understand what is going on in his head - maybe we should go to counseling.

You don't know how many times, I asked what was going on with him - was it me - was it work - was he interested in someone else. I asked him so many times, so many questions - the answer was always - either I don't know or NOTHING, YOU'RE CRAZY. So I began to think it was me, or I was just imagining it - but, it seemed so real - how could I? But, there was something wrong - he just couldn't tell it to me - didn't want to discuss it with me. How many times can I ask him what is wrong? He would rather discuss it with someone else.

If my husband would have only talked to me – I would have done anything to work things out. But, I don’t think he wanted to work things out – he wanted to do what he did – no matter what.


CSJ........Hey!!!! I love Disco!!!!

Good morning,

I can't believe I'm the first one on here today! How is everyone?

Just heard some great medical news on "Good Morning America". They finally got the approval for the anti-cancer drug for cervical cancer caused by HPV. I didn't catch when it will be available. It will be available in a shot. It has only been tested on women 16-29 and shown to be effective. Eventually, they think it will be give to men. HPV is so wide spread - 70% of cervical cancer in women is caused by HPV. 50% of people sexually active will get HPV in their lifetime! It will be an inoculation to prevent it, like a shot for measles. A friend of ours died from cervical cancer. My long time childhood friend had to get a hysterectomy because HPV caused cervical cancer – she is ok now!

This is a good thing! All women – get yourselves tested!

I'll check in later.....

F&L I agree with you about him wanting to do it nothing could have stopped them. My H with the guilt the whole time but still he didnt stop.

I heard that about HPV a while ago that is good news. I also went to my dr and asked for every test. She said no to HPV b/c she said a lot of people have it and if something were to happen it would show up on the pap. Also she said unless he has been with hookers or men then I dont need to be tested for blood STDs. I wasnt happy with that so I made him go get tested for the blood STDs.

Well off to MC should be fun...yipee!
HF

Okay, guys...what's up? I"m back and there aren't many new posts... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Drexxel==Have you changed that much after your IC that you aren't bothering with us gals any more? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Hope you are all doing well...Nothing to say except to echo F&l's comment that my H also just wanted to do what he wanted. I don't think he really felt guilty until I knew about it. Then he had to face it. Before that, he thought what she doesn't know, won't hurt her.

I was watching a Lifetime movie over the weekend. I can't remember the name of it, but John Stamos was in it and he was a guy that cheated on his wife alot...lots of ONS, etc. The married guy asked him why he cheated and he said, "it makes my marriage stronger. After I have sex with the girl, I go home to my wife and have sex with her and I know that she is the real thing, the one I"m meant to be with." Maybe that's kind of what their warped thinking was...

Anyway, hope everyone is doing okay!

Hey Mama
So glad you are back. Ya it is warped thinking but somehow they convinced themselves it wasnt going to hurt us. I know my H suffered for years and it was eating him up so I know he is sorry but now I have to deal with the fact that he could have lied to me so much! So many years so much pain when he could have confessed and we could have moved on so much longer ago.

Its hard to say its what was meant to be but maybe it was. Maybe he will be a better man now and maybe I will never take him for granted anymore. Its a tough lesson though.

I wish my MC would explore more of what made him capapble of this instead of just on getting me to be "normal". I need to focus him in when I get there today. I think todays topic will be LIES. I just cant listen to the half truths anymore and trust him not to lie about something else.

I hope everything is ok with you I know you are having a harder time than me with all this legal baloney. I am thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. I pray you will have some peace and good news soon.
HF

Hi Ladies,

It's funny because my husband said when he was first intimate with the OW - he was turned off by the way she looked - I guess he figured she would look different. He said that made him immediately know he was doing the wrong thing. But, somehow he still went back to talk to her and he was still lying to me about it.

Hoping For....how do you feel about this? What if you never found out - your husband never told you?

Yes, MF. I'm completely fed up with the lot of you. LOL (just kidding) I'm not sure how much I've changed or even what the change is. I'm not just battling demons here. I'm taking them back to the morgue and disecting them. I'm sure you've all see photos of a horrid car crash then someone tells you a story about somebody that walked away from it without a scratch. Until I figure out how I walked away from my childhood without a major flaw in me personally, I'm going to be like this, I think. It's not a bad thing, just really deep self searching.

HF -- Some advice for your MC. First, I hope you got one that's worth his/her weight in chocolate. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> (You'd be suprised at what a 150 pound chocolate Easter Bunny will do for your mood) Your MC should have a plan in place and he or she might not tell you what it is. I didn't realize what our MC had done in the first sessions we had until 3 or 4 days later. Your MC may not want to address the past and the why for your H until your MC is sure that the present and your stability with yourself and your marriage can handle it. Before you go brow beating, ask your MC what the plan is.

Up until this last week, all of our homework had been to fill out questionaires about our spouse. But this last time, she threw us a curve ball. My first reaction was, "You're kidding me. I have to fill this out about myself?" Our MC probably learned as much from seeing our reactions to the assignment as she had learned in the previous 90 minutes with us.

Sometime when you're feeling really confident, keep a mental journal of your session and go over it. Not just what questions did the MC ask, but how were they asked. What was the wording? Did the question push a button with you? Was the question directed at you but it provoked a response from your husband? I don't suggest concentrating on that while you're in session, of course, because then you won't be focussed on what you're there for, but I think it makes for an interesting distraction later in the week when you catch yourself stuck on thinking about the relationship while you're by yourself.

Chicken fettuccine alfredo con broccoli was on the menu in my house last night. That creamy garlic alfredo sauce I made was absolutely sinful. My lovely wife and I complimented it with a nice crisp Chardone. (Not too much for my beautiful wife, though, because it reduces the effectiveness of the ADs. Doctors orders. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ) We had some yummy cheesy garlic toast to go with it too.

I came home from the grocery store the other day and I brought home a watermelon for the first time this year. DS6 was soooooo excited. It was a small watermelon because I don't like having left over melon in the fridge. The way my kids are, it ends up making a mess. Anyway, DS6 was asking all these questions. The silliest was, "Daddy, are we gonna eat that watermelon?" And playing with him, I said, "No, we're just going to look at it."

Hours went by and DS6 comes to me and says, "Daddy, watermelons weren't designed to just be looked at forever." and he walks off! I couldn't help but laugh. So, finally, I decided that last night we would have the watermelon. DS6 was literally jumping up and down shouting, "Oh boy!" You know the kind where "boy" has two syllables?!

So, DS6 gets his wedge of watermelon and we're all sitting at the table (it was a seedless watermelon, BTW) and the rest of us have spoons or forks to eat the melon with. Well, DS6 wasn't having any of that. He was 2 handed shoving melon into his face, juice dripping off his chin, front of his shirt soaked with watermelon, chowing down. This poor kid. Looked at that watermelon for 3 days, thinking about eating it, daddy told him it was just to look at, then his parents expected him to eat it with silverware! What was the world coming to?! Needless to say, a bath and a change of clothes was needed before bed.

My darling wife and I just kept looking at each other and looking at the kids all through dinner and melon last night. We'd just smile and whisper I love you and eat some more. As excited as the kids were about what I was cooking, it was very peaceful and calming for my wife and I.

The purpose of this story is to emphasize, ladies, that your happiness doesn't just come from one place. It comes from your kids

Holy crap, my cat just sneezed in the window sill and fell out! LMAO

It comes from your kids, from looking over the rim of a wine glass seeing your spouse smile even if s/he isn't looking at you. It comes from the comfort of a meal or a long hot bath. It comes from finishing "Little Women" and realizing that the world won't end. It comes from putting on that awesome outfit and secretly admiring your own butt! It comes from lots of places, like the cat falling out of the window.

Take stock in what you have. It's more important than what you don't have. I'm not saying that what you don't have isn't important. Just don't get so caught up in wanting what you don't have to forget to want what you've got.

Best wishes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Drexxell....

Are you a chef or what????? You have wine with dinner too??? Next time you're going to say you have violin players next to the table. You're too much - what a romantic. It's great!!! I always said I wanted a man who could cook, sing and dance. My husband sort of dances. Your wife is sooooo lucky and she doesn't know it!

Have a good night.

Well, good afternoon everybody! It's been a busy day, so I'm just checking in about the time most of you are checking out. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Isn't it funny how similar these experiences can be? I was ready F&L's post about discussions/arguments with her H during the A, and it was like re-living discussions/arguments I had with my H! Like there really is a script somewhere that we're all reading from, only we just don't know it. I thought I was going crazy, too. Was it all in my head that my H was acting so strangly? Then his step-mom approached me and we got to talking about an exchange we'd had with my H. She was ticked at him and said, "well, he's being very selfish and I admire you for putting up with it." And I felt so validated--which was a relief, but all at the same time my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach. Because if she had noticed it too, then there was something wrong, and what was it? So that was the first time I confronted him about his behavior. And he practically shouted at me, which he had never, never ever done in all our years together: "Do you want something to be wrong?!?!?!?!?!" Of course now I recognize that he was simply dodging the question--tossing it back in my face. And that should have told me everything right there. There were so many clues, but I didn't recognize them for what they were. I hate that I was so stupid that whole year.

But then I wondered, like F&L, would it have been better to have not found out at all? What do you think, HF? Like you, I didn't know about it until it was over (although you had a lot more water under the bridge than I did). And things were getting back to normal, my H was being good to me and spending time with me and the kids. He was planning date nights and everything. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to have not known about it at all. But this is probably naive--ignoring a problem is generally not the best way to solve it, I suppose.

But overall, I am not complaining. Things are going well right now, and I am more optimistic then I ever have been during this whole mess. We are going on a day-long activity tomorrow--riding horses (the girls will ride along side in a wagon). Should be fun.

Since I likely won't be able to check in tomorrow, have a good weekend, all!

-C.

Good morning,

I guess I'm the first one again this morning.

CSJ....hope you have fun riding - have a good family day.

This will be my only post - I've got tons of stuff to do today. My daughter is having her 8th grade semi-formal and I have to get her early from school to help her get ready. I'm going to see my dad first and then pick her up at 12:30.
She was excited this morning.

I have to help her with hair and polish her nails. Do you believe she wanted to have her "nails done" at the salon - she told me everyone’s doing it! Last month was the first time I ever had a manicure and she wants her nails done. She wanted fake nails put on - costs $60 - I don't think so. You should see some of the girls she goes to school with - they're 13 & 14 yrs. old - have fake nails, tons of makeup, belly shirts and super short skirts. I can't understand what their parents are thinking? Luckily my daughter doesn't like makeup, just some lip gloss. She's the sporty type, doesn't even like dresses.'

I will fix her hair - have to put it up - she's got tons of curly hair. I'm pretty good at fixin hair - she also wanted to go to the salon for that. Even when my older daughter went to the senior prom I fixed her hair - everyone thought she went to the salon - gave her an updo - with tendrils coming down in the back. For you Drex....tendrils are long curls.

All of you, your daughters are still young, wait till they reach 13 - they'll drive you crazy - and you have to watch them like hawks. There's so many things going on in school and all around them - they're always at risk of getting hurt. At that age they think they know everything - think they are invincible - but they're still babies - you have to protect them - but they won't let you - everything is an argument - you're too old to know. If you're over 30 - you're old.

Tomorrow is my big day.....going to the Disco Ball Concert. Believe it or not - we still haven't received the tickets. Fed Xpress attempted to deliver them 3 times - the 3rd we told them to deliver to my house instead of my oldest daughter's - what do they do? - they still attempted to deliver them to her condo. So, today my daughter has to go in person to Fed Xpress to get them - they will only attempt delivery 3 times. She has to take time off from work to go get them - she is the only one that could pick them up - because they are in her name. She won the tickets over a month ago - why couldn't the radio station just drop it in the regular mail - we would have gotten them already!

Hey Drex......are you going out dancing tonight.....isn't Friday the day you usually dance your feet off?

Well, hopefully we get the tickets and tomorrow I'll be dancing my feet off in the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City, NJ. I'm really looking forward to this. They're even going to have the "Sugar Hill Gang" - they started the original rap music back in the 80's. Some of the performers are The Tramps (Disco Inferno), Gloria Gaynor (I Will Survive)Evelyn "Champagne" King and many more, mostly performers from the 80's. Ok, Drex.....since you're from the south, you probably won't know these performers.....that's ok, I wouldn't know any from your neck of the woods either. I don't know any country performers, except maybe for Shania Twain - spelled right? My husband even likes her - who wouldn't I guess?

Things are going along fine with me and the hubby. We even snuck some SF in early yesterday evening when all the kids were out - very sneaky - makes it more fun!!!!

This is it......hope everyone has a great weekend....talk to you all on Monday.

F&L, you goofy goober! (That's a name from Sponge Bob) Yes, Fridays are our dancing nights. So far, that is the plan. We didn't go last week because we were all gimped out from playing monkey in the middle with the kids and running a 5k that morning. But, yes, we're going to go out tonight.

Tendrils (snorts). My daughter turns 11 in 11 days. With mommy being TDY or deployed so much or on shift work, daddy usually does the princesses hair in the morning before school. OMG is there a story to tell about that. Not too long after discovery for us we were at my beautiful wifes parents house and wife was trying to french braid DD10's hair, but was messing it up. Out of the mouths of babes and all, my daughter says, "Well, daddy knows how to do it." Complete silence enveloped the living room. My darling wife started crying and went upstairs. Sometimes she still has feelings that she's a horrible mother.

So, all that upset my daughter too and she started crying and went into another room. MIL just kinda sat there cause a family friend was over visiting. Sooooo, I go find my daughter and make her feel better, then eventually find my wife and reach out to her.

Chef? Well, I am pretty amazing in the kitchen... and the bedroom, and the hallway, and the living room, well, you get the picture. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I just found out yesterday afternoon that my wife is scheduled to be deployed again in September. She might be able to get out of it for 4-6 months, but it would mean working night shifts 12 hours a night, 4 days on, 3 days off. And then she still gets deployed. I dunno what we're gonna do yet.

Anywho, I've gotta get going. I'll talk with everyone later.

Best wishes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hello everyone,

Glad that everyone is back and posting...

Good question--would it be better if I didn't know about the A?...The short answer is yes, but the long answer is no. As it is, my H only told me when he had no other choice but to tell me. I think he would have taken this secret to the grave if he wasn't forced to. The A was over for one month before DDay. He had a whole month to come clean but didn't. Like CSJ, he started to act like a better husband and I saw positive changes so I was feeling really optimistic about our M. I thought it related to having the baby and me going back to work. So to find out about the A was a total shock. If I had found out during the A when he was acting so strangely and denying it all, I wouldn't have been so blindsided (I think). I think the WS thinks, "Well it's over now. No one was hurt by it, why admit to it now when she/he doesn't know about it?" HF, this is probably your H's thinking, and he didn't realize how much the guilt would eat away at him for years. I bet he would have confessed to you earlier if he had known this.

We went to MC three times. We stopped due to insurance issues so didn't get very far. The MC was male and alot of the time was spent w/ my H justfying his A...We talked about our history together, etc. I don't think we went enough times for it to make much difference. But he was also pushing me to not dwell on the past, when I had so many questions to ask. He said that he didn't think it would help me to move on. Drex, maybe he had a plan in place and just didn't fill us in on it. I was thinking that he was like my H and just wanted me to 'get over it already'....Of course once the MC said not to dwell on the past, that let him off the hook as far as answering qts, etc. He didn't probe my H any further when he said it was a midlife crisis, and that he never was leaving me. Maybe he would have gotten into this further later.

F&L,
I know ALL of those groups you named, even the Sugar Hill Gang LOL...Remember the old lady in "The Wedding Singer" rapping to this song?? Have a blast dancing! I'll be thinking of you when I am home watching tv with the kids. My 3 yr old also doesn't like dresses--had to force her to wear one to church on Easter. She is sporty too and tries to do everything her big brother does. She doesn't like barrettes or anything in her hair--he hair is usually in 2 braids--like Heidi or Pocahontas!

Drexxel,
Sorry to hear that your W will be deployed again. That must be very tough for both of you and the kids...
Your dinners sound wonderful--last night my H made ham steak, spinach & cheese tortellini and garlic bread. Yummy! Even the baby liked the tortellini. My kids are very picky, but they like Daddy's cooking better than mine! Loved the watermelon story! Guess you didn't have a watermelon seed spitting contest!

I totally agree with you about the happiness and being grateful for what you have. This was the problem with my H, I think. He thought there was something better out there, and found out what he wanted/needed was what he had all along. I truly enjoy just sitting back and watching him with the kids, and I try to treasure these little moments. They mean so much...

Well, gotta get to work everyone. Will try to check back later today. If not, have a good weekend...

Ok Drex.....Goober.......I thought that was a term for Southerners. Guess this Northern woman just doesn't know your slangs. You also do French Braids....what guy does that? My husband would think they were braids that little French girls wore. There's no way he could even make a regular braid. He says he loves hair that is natural - washing their hair,then combing and that's it. My girls have naturally curly hair - he just doesn't know what that's like - his hair is "poker" straight.

MF....I used to have 2 braids too...but I hated them...everyone else had nice haircuts....I had these 2 stupid braids and big brown combat boots! Boy, did I get made fun of when I was a kid! When I grew up I traded in my brown combat boots for slinky high heels!

When we went to the MC, my husband, every chance he got, tried to justify his actions for the affair. He gave the MC every excuse he could give - but the MC saw thru that. After a while my husband said he had nothing to say to the MC anymore - so we stopped going.

Hey, what's with all these guys cooking for their wives? Some guys are just so good in the kitchen. My dad used to do that too....I loved my dad's cooking...my mom was a terrible cook.