I've spent a lot of time reading the posts on this website looking for answers and some peace of mind. I doubt many of you will appreciate hearing from me and few will sympathize as I was the OW. But I am desperate and must at least try. I just recently had a baby and want to make the most of the situation if no other reason than for my daughter.

I was with my baby's father for almost a year. When I first met him he was very aggressive in his persuit of me. I resisted knowing he was married. We spent many hours talking and spending time together as friends. During these conversations he told me that his marriage was a sham and that he had wanted to leave his wife for years but stayed for the kids. He told me they had not been phycially intimate in a long time and that they slept in separate beds. He said that he and his wife were friends and that he loved her, but that he was not in love with her. This man seemed so open and honest about everything, I believed him. He was also very charming and affectionate and fun to be around. Soon I gave in and we became involved. It wasn't long before he told me he loved me. He told me he loved me more than he had ever loved his wife. Again, I believed him and did not question the relationship or ask him to leave his wife. I don't know why I did not do that. Perhaps I had doubts. Perhaps deep down I knew he would not leave her. I'm not sure what I was thinking.

I became pregnant shortly after we became involved but did not learn of the pregnancy until I was almost four months along. I panicked and broke off our relationship without telling him why. He would not let me go, but continued to persue me, call me and e-mail me on a regular basis. After a few months I finally got the courage to tell him about the baby, but I also told him that I understood that he would not leave his family and that was o.k. I loved him and wanted to protect him from hurt and I knew it would hurt him to cause his family pain. I suggested that he walk away and forget about me and the baby. He refused. He told me he was madly in love with me and would not abandon me or the baby. Needless to say, I was thrilled. He said he wanted to leave his wife as he was not doing her any favors by staying in the marriage. I encouraged him to think through the decision as I didn't want him to resent me at some future time. He insisted he had decided but needed to wait until after Christmas. Christmas came and went and he stayed at home. Then two more deadlines passed and I finally realized he was not going anywhere. I felt hurt and betrayed that he would lie to me when I gave him the option of leaving, of walking away. He finally admitted he did not want to leave his family six weeks before I gave birth. At that point I had already told my friends and family everything about him and that he said he would be there for me, that he loved me and would leave his wife. I was devastated and this was only compounded by the emotional instability of my pregnancy. I didn't have the time or energy to do much but grieve my loss and my foolishness for believing him. I am convinced now that it was all lies and that he actually had/has a loving relationship with his wife. I'm not sure why he strung me along for so long and resumed his relationshipp with me when he knew that would cause me so much pain, but I guess from reading this site some people do selfish things and completely disregard other's needs and feelings.

Along with the grief, I also felt angry and resentful. I filed a paternity action and his wife now supposedly knows everything. He is seeking joint custody and wants to be involved in our daughters life. I have many fears about this. My biggest is that I don't trust him and am afraid to get my hopes up that he will really be a father to her. Second, I worry that she will not be treated well by his wife and three kids. How do you feel about the OC? Are you capable of separating you anguish about the affair from the child born of that union? What do you tell the child about the relationship? What do you tell the other children about how the OC came to be and how she fits into her father's family unit? I do want my daughter to have contact with her father and I think he will be a good father. But I have a hard time understanding how the BS can accept this other child and treat her with love and kindness. Any reassurance you can provide would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

Welcome to MB. I am a lot further along in my healing processes, so I feel I can answer your questions without having them tinged in the very real and ongoing pain the more new members are going through right now.



I love my OC. In the very beginning, I wanted nothing to do with her (now it's them...). My mother took me aside and said, "No matter what, that child had nothing to do with how it came about." She is right. Out of all of the people involved in the aftermath of an affair, only the betrayed and all the children are the victims of the fallout. I know you are hurting....I understand that, and I'm so sorry you chose this for yourself and for others. But your choices caused hurt for MANY. Perhaps his wife can understand that, too. Many of us can.



They are my kid's sister and brother. That's all. They have another mommy in addition to having me as their step mommy. We are all very blessed when we are together and our family is whole. They have their own beds and their own dressers and their own things at our house. They are our children just as my biological children are ours, and they know it.

Again, I'm not trying to negate your anguish. I can see you realize that this affair has caused pain for the BW. She will try to get on with her life with as much dignity as she can in such a situation....and one way of carrying on might (I don't know her) be by forgiving you through caring for your baby. I cannot be kind to our OW...not because I don't want to, but because she won't allow it...but I owe her a debt nonetheless....the children bring me joy, they help complete my family....so I will be kind for THEIR sakes.

- Kimmy

Please accept this as the kind and respectable answer that it is meant to be. It is not meant with any harshness.

Your comment is a very sore spot for me. I wish to say "How dare you questin the integrity of an innocent woman? What gives you the right ? You became an influence willingly in her marriage."

But, I also see the maternal side that wishes to protect YOUR child. I find nothing wrong with that... All mother's should be that way.

So, I suppose my thoughts can be boiled down to the logic here...once you filed through the courts, you lost your right to question his side or hold any of the control.

If you cared enough for this man at one point, then hopefully you can find strength in his character enough to know that the partner in life he has chosen is a worthy individual.

I am on the "other" side of this, but I hold your plight in my thoughts and prayers. I wish your child well.

Blessings,

Eibrab

LoveMeNot,
As Dealan said, the answers will depend on where in the healing process we are ...

How I feel about OC ... I love the little guy ... but I can tell you that ouside acceptance is hard ... I lost a lot of friends because I accepted OC ... they saw it as me accepting the affair and accepting all the things and hurt that came with that ...

For me it was not that ... I accepted OC in my life because he is a brother to my daughter. He is family. I do not accept what happened with H and OW ... and I will never do ... but OC is innocent ...
OC is not an OC, he is the little brother and as that he is welcomed.
My daughter loves him. They love each other. They are crazy about each other. They are 9 months apart ... she is 2 and a half and he will be two in July.
DD knows he is the brother, she sees that she has to share her dad with her brother ... she knows that he has his own mother, and she has her own mother.

I thought that I would prefer my DD to have a relationship with her brother since the beginning instead of 'hiding' it.
I didn't want her to say to me in the future why I didn't let her have a relationship with him if I knew he was there ... kwim?

When OC is at home he is treated the same way as DD ... hugs and kisses and discipline the same.

Don't fear the BW ... again, as Dealan said, she is trying to get out of this with much dignity as possible ... but as you can see from this board, most of us, we do not resent the OC as a human being ...
We resent the affair and the pain.
We resent the continous drama that OW has ...

CHOSEN for us. But not only that, we resent that our husbands also chose this for us. The OW has her part to play, but he had his, too. Please don't think we blame it all on the OW....it took two for this.

But babies/children/wives...we bear the emotional fallout just as much if not worse than the adulterers.

ups ... sorry it came out like that ...

Correction:
I resent the situation that H has put me on ...
It does take two ... I don't blame her alone ... actually I blame him more than her given that she is just reacting to the things he does ...

You have taken the first step on a long road, but you will survive this and a lot of how well things go for your d IS up to you.


Think of the pain and hurt you have felt and multiply that 1000 times over and you may come close to the pain she has felt and probably will feel to some degree the rest of her life. I am being completely open and honest and I hope you do not take offense because that is not my intent. But you MUST accept responsibility for your SELFISH choices. It sounds like you are beginning to, but you must resist the temptation to lay blame on anyone else, including the MM, and especially the BS. The affair happened because the MM and you made a willful, SELFISH choice. The sooner you face that and reject all the rationalizations and justifications the easier it will be for you. Yes, the MM made a choice but you aren't responsible for his choices, you are ONLY responsible for your choices, accept your responsibility and acknowledge that your actions have also caused the pain. And REMEMBER this, and don't be too quick to judge the w. She never asked to be in this situation and it hurts more than anyone can ever know without going through it themselves.


What is your focus, what is your priority? Is it your d or yourself? You must accept that his w, is the step-mom of your child, because of your choices. Face it and don't fight it, your d has 2 moms. Don't feel threatened by the it, and do everything possible to encourage her to be the best step-mom she can be to your d. You can't force a man or woman to be a good parent, so you must give credit for the willingness to be involved. If you truly want the child's father to be involved, don't fight against joint custody. Set your fears aside and deal with any problems if and when they arise. You do not trust this man because he has lied to you, his w doesn't trust him or you either because you both lied to her. Don't make it about you, him or the w, MAKE IT ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER AND WHAT IS BEST FOR HER. What is best for her? A peaceful relationship with all of her family.


It is a little too late to worry about that. You do not have any control over their actions. You are prejudging people you do not know and that have done nothing to you to give you any reason that they would harm your d. Even if you have sole custody and the father only has one visit per month, your d will become part of their family. Don't make it more difficult for your d to have time with her father and relatives on his side of the family.


I have 2 step-children that I just found out about 9 months ago (ages 15 & 9). They are my step-c and have been my step-c since the time of conception. Because of their mothers unfounded fears, I have yet to meet them. I haven't pushed c for me because we have a 22 yo step-d & 14 yo d. They are experiencing pain as well and our family has been disrupted. Your family is being formed not disrupted. I pray for my step-c and I will be the best mom I can be to them. Yes, I said mom, because I don't treat them any differently. I will love them as a mother. That does not take away anything from their biological mother. It only gives the children more people in their life who love them and express genuine love. Just as I accepted and loved my 22 step-d as my own, I will love these children as well. I don't see them as an extension of their mother, but part of their father's life, who is my h and a blessign from God. My h has chosen extremely limited c, due to the demands of the OW that I not be permitted around "her" children. She is unable to put SELF aside, and I hope you do not make the same mistake.


Yes, only my h and their mother are the source of the pain felt by everyone. Just as I did not know about or give consent to the adultery, neither did either of these children. And yes, I have felt pain sometimes when I have looked at a picture of them. But it is not pain caused by them, it is because I am recovering from my h's betrayal. Each time, the pain is less and less and I don't feel pain every time I look at their picture, just sometimes. But just because they may trigger pain for awhile does not mean that I will inflict any pain or suffering upon them.


You have an advantage. You are bringing this into the open while the child is young. There is no need to focus on her conception. Focus on loving the child and allowing her to blend into her family. One day when she is older if she asks you can tell her. As for the COM that is up to their parents, what, when and how their children are told. The younger your child is when c is established the easier it will be for everyone. Her parents sins do not define who she is and the focus needs to be off of the A. You need to recogize the w and the COM ARE part of your d's family. Attempts to exclude the w from their lives will only make things worse. If you allow c and their is evidence of harm coming to your child, then you step in and address it,but until it happens, you are assuming you have more rights as a parent than their father does and you are displaying disrespect (which will also be teaching your d to show disrespect) to him as a father. Would you agree the father should be allowed to tell you, that you can't see your own d because you have married someone else or that you can only see her if your h isn't there.


If you were the mother of my step-c. I could reassure you your child would be accepted and loved and welcomed into my family. You would be welcome in my home as the mother of my step-c as long as I was present. I can't reassure you that another person will feel the same way because people are different.

You took a risk and became involved with a married man and a child was born. You can't wave a magic wand and make his family go away. You can either decide to be a good parent and work toward what is best for your child which will mean some compromise and things will not always be your way, or you can put SELF first again in your decisions and make things harder on your child. No one can give you any guarantees for other people. And sometimes as you well know people can give you guarantees on their own actions and then not live up to them.

I would encourage you to take the risk and put your d first and see what happens.

Ann

You are telling my story, only from your point of view as the OW. So pay attention...

I am the wife of 15 years. I am the mother of three children. I am the one whom my husband betrayed, lied to, abandoned for almost a year, and eventually confessed the truth to. I am the person who had a marriage lose its passion and a husband going through a midlife crisis. I am the one who tried to get him to talk about things long before he made this horrific choice, and am the one with whom he avoided being honest. I am the one who worried about her husband as he was always at work very early and very late, trying I thought to make a positive impact at work. I am the one who used to call him to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep and that he was getting home safely, when really on many occasions he was with the OW. I am the one who held down the fort in his absence, being mother AND father to our children, doing what was best for them to the best of my ability. I am the person who watched my husband start to fall apart under the weight of the guilt and deception, not realizing what he was doing, but knowing something was terribly, terribly wrong. And I am the one who by January and without knowing what he was doing, realized I could not live like this anymore and wanted out, but never said anything.

I am also the person who now lives with the knowledge of what he did, the choices he made, the pain he suffered and the pain he caused. I am the one who for the time being still must live a lie, because no one but a few dear friends know what has happened. I am the one who worries day and night about the children, ALL of the children, and the impact the terrible choices my husband and the OW have made will have on them (not to mention me). I am also the one who must bide her time until my three children are told the truth, which will have to be soon since the OW has forced the issue out into the open by filing a paternity action without any apparent regard for them and their well-being, emotional or financial.

But hear me well...I am the woman who didn't ask her husband to leave, didn't forsake him in his time of need. I am the person who with compassion and kindness has committed her time and energy to trying to work with my husband on finding a solution that won't permanently scar ANY of the children, won't bankrupt us, and won't mean the end of our family in the process.

And I pray for everyone affected by this tragic course of events. Yes, even for D. and M., who have a rough road ahead of them. Especially for D. who has such anger, animosity, and pain in her heart. I hope she finds a therapist to help her deal with all this, for her sake, for the children's sake, if not for the wife's and husband's sake. I hope that she sees that blaming the baby's father alone will do her and the baby no good. She must face up to the fact that she knew from the very start that he was married, and that she accepted that fact and had an affair with a married man. You hear what you want to hear and see what you want to see.

But I ask you this, why would you want to be with a person who would do this to his wife and children, and what kind of a person are you who would pursue this person and choose to accept him into your life despite the fact that he was married?

Wake up and smell the coffee! You chose this and you are responsible for the predicament in which you find yourself now. Every step of the way you could have chosen to do something other than what you did. Do you not see how you were complicit in all this? Yes, you interpreted his words as promises and commitment. Did you listen to what he was saying? Did he ever promise to be with you forever? Or did he just promise to see you through the pregnancy? What did he actually promise?

I know my husband and although he "done me wrong," at his core he is loveable, caring, and in need of support. I will stand by him despite his actions because he needs me and the children need me. But more than that, I will be right by his side because we have a history and because I know he never stopped loving me. He might not have been "all in love with me" anymore, but passion can fade. Who's to say I felt my marriage was fulfilling? I was just as jaded and sad, and troubled. I just had the good sense not to look elsewhere to solve my problems.

So, in the end, I am the woman who with her husband will try to do what she can to hold the family together and intact; try to have compassion for the OW and hope that she gets the help she needs to rid herself of the angry, vengeful and destructive feelings she has pent up inside; pray that she tries to find it in her heart to forgive and move on and she tries to take this opportunity to create a better life, a fulfilling life, an honest life. I am the person who will take this Greek tragedy and turn it into a Braodway musical. I am strong and capable of anything I put my mind to. I will try to find the blessings in this mire and move on.

AND I am the person who will love M. and be a positive presence in her young life. I will be the example for my children I need to be so they can model their behavior toward M. after me. I am a fabulous person, only my husband was so troubled he forgot this. (He certainly remembers it now!) But I am smart and funny and loving and caring and considerate. The OW is lucky I am the baby's father's wife (wow, a mouthful). I am a good mother and to the extent my husband let it happen, a good wife. I know my husband was so troubled and foolish and careless, and I am sorry the OW feels betrayed and lied to. But in the end I am the one, and our children are the ones, whom he and the OW betrayed. My husband and the OW committed very selfish and foolish acts that hurt innocent people.

So get over yourself. Stop blaming other people for your predicament. Get the help you need. Trust this woman to do the right thing, because she will. All evidence points to it. Start seeing the father of your daughter and his wife as allies, people who can help you raise your daughter in the way she deserves, with love and concern. You said you believe the father will be a good parent to your daughter. Expand your belief to include his wife. Trust this and move on.

Are you talking about me? I AM the wife.

No, I am not talking about you, I am referring to the mother and daughter in my story.

Sorry for your confusion!

LoveMeNot

I forgot to mention to you some of my history.

I know my last post may have seemed harsh, but you don't need to hear anything sugar-coated right now anyway.

I too was once an OW. I was involved with my h before his d was final. Our child was not born until after we were married for 5 years but that doesn't matter. Adultery is adultery whether a child is born or not. My advice to stop rationalizing and justifiying any involvement with a married man and to accept responsibility for your actions and the pain you have caused does not come from me as a person who is a BS.

Long before I became a BS, I guess you could say I was a reformed OW. I saw the error of my ways and faced the truth when I allowed the One who is the Truth to be part of my life.

Most OW with children will accept the responsibility to raise their child, but don't want to accept their responsibility for their part in the A and the pain cause by their actions. I know I have been there. Unless and until you recognize that you have caused others pain by your decisions and actions, it will be harder for your d to have a peaceful relationship with all of her family.

Do your best to get along with her step-m and recognize that it will take time for her healing.

As mothers we all want to protect and do what is best for our children, you will have to fight to resist the temptation to exclude her step-m, his w. As someone mentioned above you came into her family, uninvited. It doesn't matter what her h said or did. He didn't invite you into his family either. Yes, he may have invited you into a r with him, but he didn't want you in his family with his w and his children. If he had he would have told them about you and your r wouldn't have been concealed. You both took risks and as a result, your d is part of both your family and his family.

Ann

No kimmy i think D. is the OW in her life and M is the OC.

and by thw way Sjohnson, that is probably one of the most powerful posts i have read in a long time. Thank you for that. I hope you continue to post.

Yes, Carolyn73, that is true!

Aaahhh, everyday is so hard. I haven't known for too long, only two months. I have come so far in a short period of time, but every day is still so painful.

It won't always be this way, I know, I hope.

Thank you for that. It is amazing where you can find support, even among internet strangers. I will stay connected.

>It won't always be this way, I know, I hope

It won't.

There is joy in life...sometimes we have to force ourselves to recognize it...but it's there.

Sjohnson.

You can move mountains. Thank you for your words.

Eibrab

LoveMeNot

Had he divorced his wife to marry you how would you accept his children????

I believe you should be happy they are strong enough not to turn their back on you and leave you alone with your child. You could raise her on your own I don't doubt that, but if you think of her, in the future, it will much better for her to have her natural father on her life.

Look, no one should be shocked you're questioning the wife's ability to love the OC. Movies (not real, but influential!) and real life are full of examples of wives and others rejecting Other Children. It's a reasonable question.

The problem IS, LMN, that you don't know if YOUR OC's stepmom (yes, stepmom) is the 'Love You' or 'Love You Not' variety, and that's all that really matters--your child.

I can tell you that I love my step-daughter-OC and I treat her as kindly (maybe more, since I don't have her fulltime) as "my own", and you see that there are other step-moms who do the same. Yes, it is POSSIBLE to separate the child from the affair most of the time (not 100%, but that doesn't mean we take it out on the child!)... The question remains, can it work in YOUR situation?

Since every situation is unique, we don't know.

But IF the wife "knows everything" and IF he is pursuing joint custody, we should assume the wife wanted it too, and I'd like to hope that she is doing so with the child's best interests in mind.

Now, IF there is ANY evidence contrary to the child's best interests along the way, try to document it in order to reduce their visitation; you must protect your child!

Unless there is evidence to the contrary, assume the best and try to co operate politely in the child's best interests. Nastiness between parents only hurts the child.

Frankly, if I were an XOW with an OC, I think I'd prefer to disappear, or to offer no-child-support (or a lump sum) for father giving up ALL parental rights, but I know many single women simply cannot afford that option. IF you were to offer that option and he took it, then you'd know where his real interests lie.

(PS I'll answer the children-of-the-marriage question if you want, but this is too long for now)

J
3 kids at home
visitation w/OC.

How ironic that we have so much in common. I am glad we can talk openly. You are the one person who I trust will be honest with me and I will do the same with you.

Let me start off by saying how sorry I am for the hurt I have caused all the people involved in this situation, especially the BS. If I could undo the whole situation, I would. But I take full responsibility for my actions and for the choices I made that got me to point where I am today. Believe me, if I had known the truth (I still don’t know what was true and what was not), I never would have become involved with this man.

In fact, before we became involved, I encouraged him to talk to his wife about his concerns, his feelings. I encouraged him to try marital counseling. He refused telling me that he could not talk to his wife, that they could never talk openly as we did. He told me that their marriage was nothing more than a partnership and that the only reason he stayed was for the kids. I actually felt sorry that he was in such a loveless marriage, but admired the fact that he was so loyal to his family.

But he told me he was madly in love with me. He told me he loved me more than he had ever loved his wife at any point in their relationship. He told me that he wanted me “to be his life.” Maybe this isn’t a promise of “forever”, but it’s more than just the pregnancy. Days before I broke off our relationship, he gave me a long stem red rose and TWO Valentine’s Day cards professing his love for me. A week before that, while we were at a golf tournament, he said (not me, HE said) he wanted to bring me back to the same event the following year with the baby. Not forever, but not just the pregnancy. He asked if I preferred gold or silver jewelry (could there perhaps have been a ring in my future? That might have been a contemplation of forever. And believe me, I loved this man so much and so thoroughly that I would have gladly spent forever with him.) We talked about getting a bigger house and a new car (he doesn’t like white cars, so we were going to get a royal blue one). I went to his basketball games, met his friends, met his kids. Not forever, but not just the pregnancy. He told me he had decided to leave his wife, that this decision was final and that it was just a matter of putting a plan into place (i.e. Where to live, how to tell his wife, what to tell his kids). Not forever, but not just the pregnancy. I interpreted all of these things as his commitment to be in a long term relationship with me.

When I finally realized he was not leaving his wife and confronted him about these lies, he told me that he never lied to me. He told me that he meant everything he said to me but that he felt OBLIGATED to stay with his wife. He told me he couldn’t stand the thought of losing me, but that he OWED his family. Even then he did not profess his love for his wife!!!!!!!!!! But I’m sure he does and did love her very much. Why he insisted on telling me these lies, I will never understand.

And what I find more confusing is why he continued his relationship with me after I found out I was pregnant when I gave him the option of walking away (and still be involved with the baby!). I can understand why he would lie to me the first time around – he was looking for a good time or, as you say it, having a mid-life crisis – but why would he resume his relationship with me (yes, HE initiated it the second time also), string me along for months until six weeks before I gave birth when I was most vulnerable and unable to cope with the grief and embarrassment of the situation? Why? I loved this man so much I would have done ANYTHING for him even if that meant letting him walk away. And yet he had so little regard for me he could not even save me the pain and humiliation of these lies. This seems so incredibly cruel. Why? Just for the sex? I don’t understand and possibly I never will, but this is a big source of my anger and resentment.

Again, I take full responsibility for my actions and my role in all of this. But you must understand how incredible persuasive and charming this man was. I suspect you understand as it sounds like your husband is also charming and persuasive. Has he painted a negative picture of the OW? Do you really think the OW pursued your husband as opposed to the other way around? Are you sure you have all the information? In a way, I feel like we have both been betrayed though you are right that I was also part of the betrayal. I have no ill feelings toward the BS and, in some ways, I feel sorry for her. Your husband’s betrayal was so much greater. How will you know when he is telling the truth after all these lies? I’m not sure how I will know and that scares me.

But you are right that the anger has to stop. It is not productive or healthy. I have felt more pain and humiliation in the last few months than I have ever felt in my life. Unlike you, I had already told all of my family and friends the TRUTH about everything and assured them that this man would leave his wife (as he told me he would) and would be there for me. I understand your anxiety about having to tell your story to your friends and family as it was extremely humiliating for me. But if I am to raise a child with this man, my friends and family must know the truth about everything. If this man wants to be a part of my daughter’s life, I want him to stand proud and not be ashamed that she was born. None of this is her fault and she deserves the best that we all have to offer. That is why I do not want to deny anyone access to her. I merely wanted reassurance that she would be treated kindly and with compassion. You are right that I will need all the help I can get. I also want my daughter to know her family. But at the same time, I must fiercly protect her and her father has not had the greatest track record for thinking things through and considering other people’s feelings.

You sound like a wonderful, strong, determined person. You husband is damn lucky to have you as a wife. If anyone can pull your family back together, you can. I’m not sure I would be so strong even without the pregnancy induced emotional instability. Of course, I will never know. I wish you the best of luck and thank you for you input. It was very helpful.

Hello Everyone,

I am new here. I have been a guest for about a month and once I read this I felt that I should finally say something.

I must start out with, It really is sad how selfish the people in this world are. I have no simpathy for you at all! Yes he did lie to you and everyone eles, but there is one thing that he did not lie about and that was that he was married!

When does that just become the rule for off limits! Whether the husband knows it are not you would not be the one with a child by a married man.

It is sad we have no morals these days. I bet you would want him to be faithful to you though and would want other women to respect your commitment to him. Right!

You all by yourself decided you would disregerd this and accept his invitation in thier lives!

And now because of your selfishness you look for answers and justification from the very ones you choose to hurt.

I would dare tell you my story you, if you want a story call the wife of the man you were sleeping with behind her back!

You deserve everything you got none of us do we had no choice in the matter like you did.

When we made our vows we hope that our husbands and others would honor them before God.

You on the other had surprise me on how you now want what you should has offer her. You want her to treat you and child with love and respect. Why didn't you give her that? You want to know the otherside of the story. Why didn't you give her that, you could have easily pick up the phone and asked her what her side of the story was, but no deep down you knew there was a possibility that the man you so adore was lying to you and using you.

So you so selfishly went as far and got into as deep as you could to keep what you wanted, willing to take him from his kids and his wife for yourself.

You should be ashamed you should feel guilty and you should Repent!

I also must say I get very cautious when I see OW getting information from a site called Marriage Builders when you do exactly the opposite.

You should do onto others as you would have them do onto you!

Peace of mind you and the husband are theives you have forever stolen that from that women and her kids.


And to answer your question of the OC around the BS, one thing you can count on she will be a better women then you!

And for all BS I respect what ever your decision is in this matter this is just my opinion!

I can't hope that we will all feel the same in such a unbelievable situation.