My plan for mine is to wear it till the bitter end... THEN.... I'll have it flattened out and cut and made into a cross....


BTW.....Remember MM.... "It ain't over till it's OVER.... no one KNOWS what GOD has planned... for your Marriage.... In his infinite POWER he could still turn this COMPLETLEY around... and you could still have a miracle.... I pray for that for you and your children... and even your W as it is best for all....
GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK

..

Terrible letter filled with anger,bitterness and "holier than thou" attitude. I would be ashamed to write ANY woman a letter like that, let alone an ex MIL.

However, I do see that most everyone seems to be "on your side" in what you are doing and what you have done in the past.

I disagree. My wife and I observed what you have been saying the last few days and we both agree that we see hints of why your WS is acting the way she does. I bet her side of the story is quite different huh?

How sad.

keepmovn4wrd -


Of course MM has anger and bitterness. He's only human. His "holier than thou" attitude is simply telling his MIL that she had no place in continually interfering in his marriage to her daughter. Parents should never intrude in the marriage of their children for the benefit of themselves. I can think of two marriages that I know of personally (one of them mine) where parents (or a parent) were part of the problem. One of those two failed....the other one....well, I've got lots of hope <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


So you're going to base your entire opinion of MM's situation strictly on what he has posted the last 4 days? I have no doubt that Mrs. MM's side of the story is quite different, but she's not here to present it, and it sounds like she's rewritten quite a bit of their history to justify her choices.

If you've followed any of MM's recent threads, I think you'll get a better understanding. All we have to go on is what MM presents in these forums, and by the nature of this medium a lot of subtleties and nuances can be lost (or misinterpreted).

MM has consistently been open to other's opinions of his situation and his actions, and I have yet to see him flat out reject an opinion or dodge it. If he doesn't agree with it, he has always explained why.

To jump in and immediately make a judgement of him and/or his situation, without offering any sort of constructive advice or opinions is....well, let's just say there are better ways to make your point, IMO.

Thanks UVA. I did take that in to advisement when I sent it (yes, I did send it). I went over it several times, just to see where they can shoot at me. And while I am sure he can spin all day, I also know my guy can show that I continue to tell the truth and continue to be the upstandign guy.

But your warning is well taken. There will be no more communiques.

In His arms.

keemmovn4wrd - I agree, your post and your attitude is MOST sad.

The Betrayed Spouse is the problem, just as all Wayward Spouses "see" it. How sad that you've bought into that sort of nonsense.




Safe bet. ALL Wayward Spouses will tell you "quite a different story" as they seek to justify their sin and deceit.

What, exactly, is your purpose in posting such inane drivel of santimonious support for an Adulteress caught up in her adultery with the aid and collusion of her mother?

Certainly it's NOT to say that what she is doing is "okay" with God?

MM, pardon me, but I am feeling much righteous anger right now, and I am nowhere near as "diplomatic" as you are. Keepmvn4wrd has "stepped over the line" and I'll volunteer to fight on your flank for this one.

I am [color:"RED"]S T E A M E D ! ! ![/color]

I'm going to take a 3 to 4 hour drive and cool off in the warm Carolina sun and great blue skies.

MM,

I know how it is in the heat of the moment, but before you make a drastic move like this again, if it will not hurt your case, run it by us first. Fifty heads is better than one. And you should know by now that we have your back.

God bless.

Well, I'm not so upset about km4w's post.

Mrs MM's story will certainly be different.

MM's own story is from his perspective.

The WS and the BS have their own struggles that are very different, even though they're over the same marriage.

MM isn't the "bad guy", but he's not always perfect either. Likewise the stbxMrs MM isn't the "bad guy", though it certainly does sound, from our experiences and hearing MM's accounts of events, like her processor is all messed up at the moment.

It is what it is. We're all what we're all. ...though hopefully on a net growth curve.

persevere,
-ol' 2long

[color:"red"] provocateur [/color]

Anger? Sure. I said I was angry in the letter. This letter was in response to what my MIL did in front of my oldest son just last week, as she attempted to butt in on my and my wife's business. Our kids and our marriage are OUR business. She needed to take her little hiney right down the stairs to the basement and butt out! It was just one example of what she has done over 13 years. I should have said this stuff years ago...it might have made a difference! At least, maybe I could have then put up boundaries to her to protect our marriage and kids. I did so with my Mom. She was a little too involved at first. I todl her that she needed to back off and be grandma now. She got the message. My MIL never did.


What exactly am I "doing?" Seems to me I am reacting to my wife's continued abuse of me and continued immoral behavior. Last I checked, I was the only one working on thsi marriage the last 4 years. But...as I have said before...all opinions are welcome here!!


Interesting! Hints? Of what? What possibly have I dont to deserve her actions? What possibly have I done that you can observe in my posts that would lead you to think that she is justified in her actions? I REALLY would love answers to those questions!


Sad indeed. But not for the reasons that you appear to be hinting at. This mess falls squarely on her head now. When you continue to make bad decisions, one day it will catch up to you.

I have been MORE than patient!

In His arms.

Noted!

In His arms.

No doubt. That's why I'm leaving NOW to take that drive.

But "provacateur" still doesn't answer the question, does it?

MM....
Don't get distracted by keepmovn4wrd... you need to focus...YOU know that THAT bullet should have been fired AFTER the war.... You gave them your "feeling" of frustration and anger to shoot back at you... "Never let the enemy KNOW"...... BUT... brother....don't beat yourself up.... you're human...

NOW..... FOCUS....the "enemy" comes in ALL shapes and sizes and WANTS to distract your focus....you need to use your strength and skills for better targets...

You never answered my last post so I pasted it below...
GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK

Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh yeah...I have a question. Any advice on my wedding ring? I have worn it for 13 years.

After I see what she has done this time, I want it off. But, I also have this feeling that as long as I am still married, then the ring belongs on.

Thoughts?

In His arms.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



My plan for mine is to wear it till the bitter end... THEN.... I'll have it flattened out and cut and made into a cross....


BTW.....Remember MM.... "It ain't over till it's OVER.... no one KNOWS what GOD has planned... for your Marriage.... In his infinite POWER he could still turn this COMPLETLEY around... and you could still have a miracle.... I pray for that for you and your children... and even your W as it is best for all....
GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK

His wife has access to this site and has been free to tell "her side" of the story...Is there a WS story anywhere that you would find justifiable KeepMovn? THAT would be VERY telling...

Btw, I have emailed and called Mrs. MM telling her that I would be more than glad to listen without judgement...She chose not to share...THAT is also quite telling IMO...

MM...You know WHO to listen to in this...Press On...

Mrs. W

P.S. Mr. W tried calling you LATE last night...Call him when you have a moment, K?

what's up good soldier?

and side note too all quabbling here about "the letter"...there is a much larger issue looming here. it's about the legal action happening or not happening today and the impending results of it.

I will end this stupid debate as MM was right in sending the letter. I actually did a verbal sort of thing with my xil's..who enable my xh and at first PRETENDED to be supportive of me...said they understood why I was divorcing their son...sad about the adultery he committed unrepentantly...and then accepted the signed checks to them from their son. they are on his payroll. I get a christmas email now and then from them. we have no relationship anymore as I don't associate with those sort of people. I feel and understand mortar's pain and he's right to let it out. I just said it rather than writing it and they know my stance.

but this is about how's the day? what happened.? let's get back to the real purpose at hand.

when we do begin telling bS to "pad their verbage or words used" to those actively aiding and abetting the destruction of families, we lose as a society as a whole. when the outrage is no longer there...there would in essence become NO need for exposure, no need for laws..when we all let it slide...we in essence allow our morality as a society to slide as well.

just food for thought.

controlled outrage is good imho.

and now...back to helping and bringing helpful ammo to our friend in the fight of his life.

steady as she goes mortar.

armor? check
truth? check
control? check
brain? check

I used to actually remind myself of those things when I had to deal with the lawyers/xh/ow/custody stuff. still do that checklist from time to time to make myself "be in the zone" and not react emotionally.

MM,

Just wanted to salute you and throw my support behind you with the multitude.

Stay strong and focused.

kirk

Still here, waiting and watching.

There is nothing that I can say that other's have not said more elequently.

So I send my support.

MM -
Sounds like you're handing the continued and persistent shelling from home w/ Grace under pressure - BZ. If, and when, you need to fire back, double tap in case the first round isn't enough.

On the ring, I think I'd take it off, reluctantly but it was placed there by the spouse as a symbol of their "love and fidelity" when they made their vows and now those conditions seem non-existent on her part.

V/r, No Way

Sending support and Prayers -
God be with you.

SS

I've been silent since I didn't have anything to contribute. Mortarman, you have my best wishes and sympathy.

But, keepmovn4wrd, thank you for your input on this.

And Mortarman, thank you for taking it on the chin.

We should ALL be on guard for vindictiveness and spite. We should ALL be questioning our motives constantly. And we should thank the people who do it for us.

May I repeat the earlier quote from Peck's "People of the Lie"? Here goes:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit" What is so great about feeling down on yourself -- about having this sense of personal sin?

Evil is not committed by people who feel uncertain about their righteousness, who question their own motives, who worry about betraying themselves.

Unpleasant though it may be, the sense of personal sin is precisely that which keeps our sin from getting out of hand. it is quite painful at times, but it is a very great blessing because it is our one and only effective safeguard against our own proclivity for evil.”